i just want you, not the galaxy
The Casting Director Review Shop (Busy/Closed/Hiatus)i just want you, not the galaxy by Hiirah
Story Title - 4 of 5
The title has an endearing and warm-hearting quality to it. It gives readers a clear hint on the type of plot they would be expecting, while it doesn't give the whole story away (there's a hint mystery to the plot). However, with the title written in all lowercase, there might be readers out there who would misjudge the quality of the story. For example, they might think it's a silly story with all girly giggles here and there. Therefore, it's best to write out the title properly.
Summary/Description - 5 of 5
The description and foreword are okay (except for grammar errors, but that will be discussed under the grammar/spelling section)
Grammar/Spelling - 9 of 20
Honestly, the tense inconsistency is very distracting (even though it's a 30-minute work, you could have gone back and give it a quick edit once you have calmed down). The sentences are quite understandable in general, but there is still some glaring awkwardness.
There are a couple of grammatical errors in the description: [I browsed the internet and you're all the media was talking about.] It should be "you were", not "you're". Also, [Won't you tell me what's wrong?] - just for the sake of tense consistency, it should be "what was", not "what's". The opening italicized text should match the one in the description.
Past vs. Present Tenses:
Not sure if you have intended this story to be written in this past or present tense, but I'll assume past tense from the looks of your description. Also,
Comments