Minimalist
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Minimalist
Kamishi
Story Title - 2/5
What to say, the title is really rare and honestly, I have no idea what minimalist is until I searched it up. To be honest, and please don't feel hurt because of what I'm going to say, the title is a bit boring. :( The title isn't the best and it probably doesn't grabbed reader's attention much.
Summary/Description - 4/5
The description basically told the whole story what it is about and the last sentence said it all. The small paragraph, however, is a bit confusing. You used the word 'white' and from reader's first impression is 'is he in a hospital?' or 'heaven'.
Though there isn't any sucide scene in this story, you might want to warn readers that sucide was mentioned and character's are acting on it. Also warn about self harm because you did put a scene of Kai cutting himself. It doesn't have to be rated or triggered, just make sure to warned the readers beforehand.
Story Layout*- 3/5
Black and white is a good color for the story because it's anguish and depression, but the flowers are kind of out of place. Also you mentioned Kai like white more than black, he should wear something white instead of black in the poster. Though, I like the poster and the demension shape but I personally think it's kind of not enough of the anguish as the story showed.
Grammar/Spelling - 16/20
There were a lot of comma used that aren't needed in the sentence and you also overused the period in a paragraph also. You also have a problem of tenses: past, present and future.
Example: He had decided on this hours ago, after laying in bed alone, eyes closed.
Correction: He had decided on this hours ago after laying in bed alone with his eyes closed.
You basically don't need any pun
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