Used by paula1988 & DreamOfKpop

Story Title - 4 of 5

Eye-catching title that is obvious to the potential readers that your story is going to be somewhere along the lines of abuse & angst (relevant to the the genre of your story).  In a way, this title could work for or against the potential readership of your story because of the following reasons:

-Readers who prefer angst & abuse stories would definitely click on the story link
-People who hate these genres would definitely skip it
-Those who are in-between might or might not click on it depending if their perception is that the story would turn out to be trashy or not, again depending on their preference (which brings me to another point, people MIGHT mistaken this story as a trashy story because of the title).

Description/Foreword - 3 of 5

The description you have now might give the readers a sense of the general mood of the story, but it honestly doesn't tell much nor it is intriguing enough for the readers to click onto the next chapter.  Just a suggestion you might want to consider:  Write just a two to three sentences to actually summarize (& hook readers to) the story before what you currently have as the description.

The foreword is supposed to be the place where you write about your thought on the story.  For example, what inspires you to write this story, how did the idea come about?  Moreover, sometimes it's something that connects the readers to the writer's thought without giving the story away and something for the readers to ponder about?  Also, it's a place for acknowledgement.  So what you currently have in your foreword right now could be moved to the description category as a snippet for the readers to get a better sense of what the story is all about.   Also, quote and italicize Mi-yeon's inner thought that you have in the foreword since the story in the third person perspective.

Story Layout - 5 of 5

Nice, readable font & awesome poster that fits the overall atmosphere of the story.  It's angsty and sinister.

Grammar/Spelling - 10 of 20

In general, tons of awkward sentences, mix-up of present tense versus past tense, and typos here and there.  With regards to the tenses, for example, I noticed that all the beginning of chapter one it was written in present tense, but gradually towards the end of the chapter, it got changed to past tense.  Moving onto the awkward sentences, it's impossible for me to point all of them out without taking on the role of a beta reader because every single paragraph is full of them.  Just some examples:

[Her mom cooking breakfast for her two daughters, while her dad leaves for work as if he isn't hungry.]  (Chapter One) The form of these two verbs "cook" and "leave" should parallel e