Oxymoron by cuteismysterious
The Casting Director Review Shop (Busy/Closed/Hiatus)Oxymoron by cuteismysterious
Story Title - 4 of 5
It’s a unique and fitting title to the story, but I can’t really say it’s eye-catching. Oxymoron is just one of those words that I might pass by easily without noticing when the amounts of titles on an AFF page.
Description/Foreword - 5 of 5
Decent and eye-catching description and foreword. Nothing really to nitpick about.
Story Layout – 3.5 of 5
Nice readable font. To be honest, I believe you can do much better with the poster. I do not see the oxymoron theme with the poster and it is not very appealing. Also, it does take quite a bit of effort to see Baekhyun in that girl’s eye. By the way, is that Taeyeon’s eye?
Grammar/Spelling/Writing Style - 18 of 20
Wow, your grammar has definitely improved by a tremulously margin within just a short span of time (only a few months maybe?). The tense is consistent this time. As usual, your writing style has a certain wit and observation that makes your story-telling style unique.
Nothing majorly flawed that I saw, maybe just a few typos/errors here or there.
[My hands shook causing me to spill some milk here and there.] – a comma [,] between “shook” and “causing” would make the sentence flow better, [My hands shook, causing me to spill some milk here and there.]
[Curse my body and how I was born.] – should be [Cursed my body and how I was born.]
[I was unsure of how her heart’s decision would end up, but knowing her, I’m guessing that she would keep the life support on.] – should be [….but knowing her, I guessed that she would keep the life support on.]
[She then started to cry which I responded by looking away as for I do not want to witness a crying woman, especially if it was her.] – should be [….by looking away as for I did not want to witness a crying woman…]
[“Inside, sir, now. I obliged and went inside the Mental Wing of that same hospital where I saw her on her breakdown that one particular day.
Comments