Aurealion: Curse of the Park Twins - TheSociableIntrovert and -Tigress-
The Casting Director Review Shop (Busy/Closed/Hiatus)Aurealion: Curse of the Park Twins by TheSociableIntrovert & Tigress
Story Title - 4.5 of 5
This is definitely an eye-catching title that tells potential readers what this story might be about. It's an adventurous & fantasy-like title that's perfect for the story's genres. However, the Aurealion: [colon] part might throw some readers into thinking that this one story is part of a trilogy and thus, they might think there's a story that they should read before this.
Description/Foreword - 4 of 5
The description is intriguing and you have bolded the right words (good use of bolding). However, I don't like the character description part so much, you might want to consider using a more brief quote for each of the character. As things stand at the moment, it could cause some readers to fall asleep without making too much of an impact; brief and powerful quotes would stand out more. I would also like to see what inspires this story in your foreword (but I didn't think any points off for not doing so).
Story Layout - 5 of 5
Nice, readable font. A fitting poster. Also, the layout is very elegant & provides a fantasy-like atmosphere.
Grammar/Spelling - 20 of 20
Nothing glaring came to my attention at all. In fact, your writing is very description, quite perfect for writing the fantasy genre.
Story Plot/Flow/Description - 15 of 30
Anytime a writer decides to write a fantasy story, she would, inevitably, create a new world with a whole new language. It's definitely fun to create a world as inspiration would come flowing quite effortlessly. However, what sets a good fantasy writer from a bad one is that the good one knows how to create rules and limits in her fantasty world. So far, I can't decide if this is a good or a bad fantasy world just because I don't feel like I know the world enough even though I have read through all the chapters (ie. what is permissible and what is not in this world? It seems too much of "anything goes" here, which could harm the story); the only thing I know about is anything conveniently in relation to the twins' curse. As this is a fantasy story, I would like to know more about the world - besides the general fantasy setting (ie. mythical creatures & element kingdoms, which by the way, are the cliches of fantasy) I would like to know the rules and the limits (because limits could actually add excitement to the flow of the story).
The beginning of the story surprisingly seems like a tribute to the fairy tale of Sleeping Beauty. Then, it seems quite similiar to the beginning of most fantasy stories & even Harry Potter too (ie. curse on the newborn "heroes" & the Latin spell/magic language). Finally, the twins' forbidden love line reminds me of Angel Sanctuary a bit. In sum, this story is a mix mesh of things, most uncannily reminds me of things I read before.
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