Into His Gravity
The Casting Director Review Shop (Busy/Closed/Hiatus)Into His Gravity by teukizeored
Story Title - 4 of 5
Not unique, but it is eye-catching and fitting for this story (angst, & perhaps even too if you are taking that route eventually).
Description/Foreword - 2 of 5
Although this story is a sequel, it should still have a proper summary (I also notice that the prequel does not have a proper summary either). Usually a good sequel could stand alone to some degrees without readers having to read the prequel first. In fact, there are some readers out there who would not mind reading the sequel first before going back to the first story (I'm one of these weird individuals) - there is a peculiar kind enjoyment in doing so. There would be no problem with the foreword if you have mentioned that brief passage of text is the prologue (otherwise, I will just assume you don't know the purpose of a foreword, which is to relate the author's thoughts of the story to the readers and place of acknowledgement). The prequel also has the same concern with regards to the foreword - though, I believe this passage can be used as the summary of the summary instead (also, there is a duplicate passage).
Story Layout - 5 of 5
Nice, readable font. Great layout and poster that fits with the atmosphere of the story.
Grammar/Spelling - 14 of 20
Tense problem & typos throughout the prequel (Best Friends) as well as this story. For example:
["Here she comes!" One of the staffs tipped the other staffs as a long....] (Chapter One) It should be staff without the s. This is one of those strange English words that only has one form. Therefore, the sentence should be [....One of the staff tipped the others....].
[Her hips swung as she walked...perfectly carrying the clothes she's wearing.] (Chapter One) Should be she was.
[She finally entered the her design team's working room, taking off the sunglasses she is wearing and immediately handing it to her assistant, she eyes her staffs.] (Chapter One) should be [She finally entered her design team's working room, taking off the sunglasses she was wearing and immediately handing it to her assistant, she eyed her staff (members).]
[She just stared at
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