Six Drops to Estasy by yuu_sama

Story Title -5 out of 5

Perfect title for the story! It definitely gives me a dark feeling.

Description/Foreword – 5 out of 5

Your description and foreword is absolutely perfect. I took the time to read everything and it’s very well organized so kudos to you! I admit, what got my expectations high was this.

Story Layout – 5 out of 5

I like the poster as well as the quote incorporated. The story is readable, no problems with font whatsoever and by the way, I love how organized it is.

Grammar/Spelling/Writing Style -15 out of 20

So I chose a few sentences here and there to correct and explain, be noted this isn't everything.  Although your sentences were very good and I'd like to mention your interest and devotion to learning English is very commendable!

Chapter One:

Original: It was still springtime and new buds of creeping wild flowers growing along the grassy ground danced in the breeze in palpable joy.

There's a plethora of ways you can take this sentence so I'll give you a few options.

Corrected: It was springtime. Newly formed buds of creeping wild flowers grew along the grassy ground and danced in the breeze in palpable joy.
So, I removed 'still' as I found it unnecessary. Unless you're trying to emphasize something by telling readers it's still spring, I found it to be wordy and removing it would definitely make a better start for your story.
And the reason I removed 'and'... This one I can't explain quite well but one of the reasons is it didn't feel connected.

Revised: It was springtime when buds of creeping wild flowers grew along the grassy ground and danced with the breeze in palpable joy.

Revised: It was springtime that flowers budded along the grassy ground and danced with the breeze in palpable joy.

Original: For only one purpose, to keep her safe with him.

Corrected: For only one purpose: to keep her safe with him.

Chapter Two:

Original: but I wouldn’t put the blame on my father for genetically giving me this characteristic

Corrected: but I wouldn’t put the blame on my father for genetically giving me these characteristics
I put it as a plural since you had listed several traits.

You've also changed tenses from time to time. Take this sentence for example (chapter two): If you accidentally see me from afar, I believe you’re going to mistaken me for a male sixth grader because of my short hair and petite body.

Corrected: If you accidentally saw me from afar, I believe you would mistake me for a male sixth grader because of my short hair and petite body.

A majority of your story is in past tense, this entire paragraph however, was changed to present. Remember to keep your tenses consistent.

There were quite a bit of oddly structured sentences which is understandable, seeing as English isn't your first language.

Could they seriously change me from an ugly duckling to a beautiful swan who could make all men turn their eyes in such instant way?

Corrected: Could they seriously change me from an ugly duckling to a beautiful swan that could make all men turn their eyes to me in an instant?

Original: I can’t say it a miracle, but one day, it was a cold night after heavy rain, there was this man who came into my vision and held out his hand to me when I almost fainted on my way home because of hunger I struggled hard to ignore.

Corrected: I can’t say it was a miracle, but one day, it was a cold night after heavy rain, there was this man who ca