Chapter 16

Yuri rested her head down on her work desk. She couldn’t seem to get any work done since coming to work. All she could think about was Yunho. She only been at work for five hours & every hour was spent thinking about him. Even her computer screen was full of his name, every data that she been entering in turns into his name, “Miss Kwon, this is a work place, not a place for you to sleep!” Yuri heard her boss angry voice & turn to look at him, “I’m sorry.” Yuri said, & return to her work.

“If you don’t pull yourself together Miss Kwon, then don’t come to work at all!” Her boss said angrily. Yuri didn’t turn to look at him. She was staring at her computer screen while Yunho’s name kept blinking back at her. Yuri rose from her seat, grab her gold metallic fossil sydney shopper handbag & walk pass her boss who was looking at her quizzically, “Where do you think you are going?” He asked her, “I quit.” Yuri said, as she left the office.

Yuri sat in Dr. Shim’s office. She came straight here from her workplace. She had wanted to go & see Yunho but first, she had to see Dr. Shin to tell him that she had experience another heart attack & she wanted to find out about her condition. She wanted to prepare herself. Somehow, she knew that it wasn’t going to be good news but she didn’t want to guess, she wanted the facts, “Yuri, so lovely to see you, my dear.” Dr. Shim said, as he took his seat behind his desk & notice that Yuri looked a bit pale, “What can I do for you Yuri?” Dr. Shim ask, from behind his desk. He had figure out why she was here but it was best for her to tell him.

“It started again.” Yuri said. Her hands were clench together in front of her lap. She wasn’t looking at him but at her hands instead, “What has started again?” Dr. Shim asked, although he knew but he wanted her to tell him. He didn’t want to hear it either. Her health had been so good since her last pain had occurred which had been eight years ago. Could this mean that her life will be cut short? Oh god, no.

“My pain has started again, uncle Shim. I just want to know how much longer do I have?” Yuri asked, looking up at him. She wasn’t scared. She wanted to know, even if it was one day, two days, she wanted to know how much time she had left so she can be with her family & spend the last hour of her life with them. There was so much she wanted to do & Yunho, she wanted time with Yunho but now, it seem impossible. Just when she had decided to give Yunho & her a chance, life wasn’t allowing her, too.

Yuri had tried to win this battle & had kept holding onto the hope that a heart will come along but she had failed. All her hopes & dreams smashed into little pieces. Dr. Shim had made her take some test & had estimated that she only had a couple of months, three month at the most. How was she going to tell her parents? They would be devastated & she didn’t know how to tell them so she made Dr. Shim promise not to tell them.

Yuri reach out & touch Yunho’s cheek. It was warm & the colour had return to his face & he wasn’t pale anymore & his bruises were all gone. Yuri took his hand into hers & kiss his hand, her tears streaming down her eyes. She was scared. She didn’t know what to do. She had wanted to tell Yunho that she love him so much but now, she couldn’t. It wouldn’t be fair to him. She couldn’t do that to him, even though it hurts so much. Couldn’t she just enjoy the last three months with him? To share her life with him? No, she couldn’t do that, couldn’t allow herself to watch him fall in love with her then to leave him. She couldn’t put him through that kind of pain. There was only one option left. She wouldn’t allow him to know how she felt as she would keep fighting him like before. She couldn’t offer him happiness but Taeyeon could. Yes, Taeyeon had time so she would help Taeyeon win Yunho. Saying it was easy but doing it would be hard. How will she live through this? She didn’t know but she had no choice since life wasn’t giving her any other options.

“Oh Yunho Oppa, what am I going to do? I want to share my life with you so much. I don’t want to fight my feelings for you anymore but I have, too. I'm so tired & I don’t want to run anymore but I can’t stop now. What am I going to do? Please help me? Please wake up & tell me what to do? I love you so much. I thought that after you wake up, we would be able to share our life together but now, its not possible.

I don’t want to die. Before I met you, I wasn’t afraid of death but now, now that I met you, life is so precious to me, I would give anything to live with you, to be with you, to experience the love we both shared at the cabin again. I want to feel your body on mine, to taste your lips, hear you say my name. Oh god, Oppa, I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die.” Yuri cried into his chest. Yuri cried her heart out to Yunho but still, he didn’t wake up.

“Oppa, if only time would stop here for me & you & no one else, where there’s no past or present, just this moment where I can hold you in my arms forever & not be afraid to show you how much I love you. I want to keep dreaming. I don’t want to wake up to reality. I want to live in my dreams. I’m so afraid of reality as it will be the end of us, it will tear us apart but only in my dreams can I be with you & not be afraid of losing you. Please let us both live in dreams?” Yuri pleaded, clinging onto Yunho.

Yuri felt someone tapping her on the shoulder & slowly open her eyes. She looked up at Yunho to see that his eyes were close but his hands were tapping her shoulder, “Oppa!” Yuri cried out, & took his hand in hers. He was trying to open his eyes but then, he let out a scream & pulled his hands to cover his eyes. Yuri didn’t know what was happening so she press the button on the wall to call for the doctor.

“My eyes hurt! I can’t open them!” Yunho was crying out. He was rubbing his eyes with his hand while Yuri tried to grab his hand & tried to ease his panic, “Oppa, listen to me. Everything’s going to be fine. Don’t be scared. Your not alone. I’m here with you.” Yuri pulled him into her arms & embrace him. He didn’t push her away & stop crying & lean into her. He didn’t know who this person was but her voice was soothing & he didn’t know why but he trusted her.

Yuri waited outside while the doctor looked at Yunho. She wanted to be in there with him when she saw how frighten he was. She was also happy that he was awake now. She could be with him. No, her happiness shattered. Now that he was awake, she would have to keep her distance. Why couldn’t she keep on dreaming? Why did she have to wake up so soon?

“Will he be alright, doctor?” Yuri ask the doctor, as he came out of the room, “Hmmm. Well, there’s seems to be something wrong with his eyes. He can’t see so we have to take some test & see what the problem is. Try not to upset him & try to comfort him.” The doctor said, & left her standing alone with the terrible news.

“Oh Oppa, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Yuri cried to herself. She knew how important it was for him to see. How was he going to survive this? Yuri called Changmin & told him the news. He told her not to leave & will be right there. Yuri closed the door behind her & could hear the soft sob coming from Yunho. He was lying on his side. She could see that he was shaking & tried to hold in her tears.

Yuri sat down on the bed & pulled Yunho into her arms. This time, he tried to push her away but she fought him but he eventually gave up & lean on her while she heard the pain in his cries. Yuri didn’t know what to say so she just held onto him & had to control herself from crying along with him, “Shhh Oppa, I know you are upset but you shouldn’t be crying. The tears will only cause your eyes to get worse so listen to me & stop crying as everything will be alright, I promise.” Yuri said, his hair where the bandage hadn’t covered. Yuri felt him taking in a deep breath & his crying cease. He was shaking while she tried to sooth him.

“Where am I?” Yunho asked her. Yuri swallowed her tears in & told him that he was in the hospital. He didn’t seem to know where he was & how he ended up in the hospital, “You were in a car accident. You been unconscious for five nights now but your awake now & that’s all that matters.” Yuri told him, “Why can’t I see?” Yunho asked her, but Yuri didn’t know the answer to that & she didn’t want to scare him so she told him it was normal because he was hurt pretty badly & his eyes just needed a bit of time to adjust & hope that was the truth.

Yuri heard the door opening & lookup to see Changmin & Taeyeon walking in. She try to pulled away from Yunho but he was holding onto her & wouldn’t let her go. Taeyeon turned to looked at Yuri & saw the redness in her eyes. Why was she holding Yunho so close? Jealousy form in the pit of her stomach, ‘Don’t be silly.’ She told herself, ‘Yuri is probably comforting him so there’s nothing to be jealous over.’

Taeyeon walked over to sit on the bed next to Yuri, giving Yuri the sign to let go & move over. Yuri didn’t want to move but she forced herself to pull away from Yunho but it was hard since Yunho was holding onto her tightly & wouldn’t let her go so she had to uses all of her strength to pulled herself away from him. Yunho didn’t know why the girl he was holding was pulling away from him. He didn’t want to let go of her as he like the feel of her but she managed to pull away from him. Yunho reach out to try & find her but couldn’t, then he felt her again, & pulled her close to him but it wasn’t her as he felt the difference. This person who was in his arm now was typically tiny with a longish torso, whereas the hold he had been holding earlier had more meat. This person he held onto was skinny & it didn’t have the comforting touch as the earlier one did. Yunho open his mouth to call for her but the person that was holding him put a finger to his lips & told him to get some rest.

Changmin went over to stand next to Yuri & put his arms around her as he knew she was in pain, “How is he doing?” Changmin asked her. Yuri didn’t get to reply when Yunho asked who else was in the room, “Changmin Oppa & Yuri have come to see you, Yunho Oppa.” Taeyeon told him. Changmin walked over to touch Yunho on the shoulder, “How are you feeling, man?” Yunho didn’t reply. There was a moment of silence before he open his mouth, “Yunho? Who’s Yunho?” He asked them. Yuri, Changmin & Taeyeon looked at each other, speechless.