Kyuhyun wolfs down the vegetable curry and fried kimchi and spring onion-garlic-tomato-dried anchovy fritter his mother cooked for him at past two in the morning. He finishes two and a half bowls of rice, a total of twelve servings of side dishes, two of radish kimchi, two of tofu, three of dried seaweed and five of dried anchovies respectively. He even gobbles three pieces of his mother’s chocolate that’s sitting on the jar at their table as his mother sits across him and his father leans on the counter of their kitchen and both his parents watch him.

It’s already a quarter past three when he finishes the third piece of chocolate and his father gives him a glass of his favorite orange juice. His parents hate it because it’s the orange juice that tastes like medicine to them but they still buy it and keep a liter in their refrigerator even after Kyuhyun started boarding at the university dormitory because Kyuhyun loves it.

“Thanks, Dad,” Kyuhyun says, taking the glass and finally finishing his late dinner/early breakfast.

Mr. and Mrs. Cho exchange quick glances again like ninjas as their son gulps down his orange juice, sharing an agreement but neither knowing where to start or how.

The thing about parents is, as much as they nag us or pester us or argue with us all the time, at the end, they are the ones who loves us the most, who can understand us beyond words and who will accept us even when the whole world forsakes us. That sometimes, it will come to us as mere words or disagreement because they grow old, too. There will come a time when we have grown up and they don’t know how to approach us anymore but even then, their love for their children doesn’t vanish. It just comes differently to their children.

Mrs. Cho begins cleaning up the table when Kyuhyun asks, “Can I drink tea, Mom?”

“Tea?” Mrs. Cho raises her brow, dropping the plate again.

“Yes,” Kyuhyun says, extending his arms and yawning. “I think I ate a lot.” Right. “I might have a constipation or stomachache if I don’t drink tea.”

Mr. Cho is already taking tea from the cupboard and he turns to his son, “We have lemon, rose, lavender and jasmine tea. What’d you like?”

Kyuhyun gives it a thought before answering although it isn’t really an answer. “What do you think of rose tea, Dad? Is it delicious?”

Well, Kyuhyun is not exactly a fanatic of tea as coffee or juice has been more interesting for him but his father still looks at him quizzically before looking for a moment at his wife and slowly answering his son. “Well,” Mr. Cho starts. “Rose tea is usually served as an afternoon tea, so I won’t exactly recommend it for you tonight, or this morning. It’s refreshing, nevertheless.”

His son nods his head, like he is seriously considering what suite to buy or what new yacht to purchase but after a moment, he looks back at his father and asks again, “What about lemon tea, Dad?”

This time, Mr. Cho doesn’t even pretend he is not surprised as he looks at Kyuhyun because this is not really a bonding moment he expects he and his son to have at three in the morning. But his wife nods thoughtfully when he looks at her and if it will really help his son to know the profile of each tea they have with whatever the reason he decided to went home at two in the morning by the backdoor despite having a major, not to mention deciding game for the season this year tomorrow, then he’ll do it.

“It’s also refreshing like the rose tea. But this is usually served during mornings for breakfast because it will stimulate your system after a night of sleep. It’s sour and you need to add sugar to it, so if you’re worrying of constipation or stomachache, I also won’t recommend it.”

Mrs. Cho begins removing the plates as her husband and son talk about tea, somehow realizing what this is about, what it’s all about. She takes four teacups out of their cupboard and places it on the table.

“And lavender tea?”

“Lavender tea can be the best you can drink tonight, Kyuhyun,” Mrs. Cho takes over, arranging the teacups on a single line on their table. She looks at her son, “It can help you with insomnia, stress and fatigue.”

Both Mr. Cho and Kyuhyun watch Mrs. Cho as she takes the tea from her husband’s hands and prepares one of each, carefully placing each packet in front of each teacup and pouring hot water over it. She and her husband love tea but they don’t exactly have time to really brew tea in the wee hour of the morning.

“What about jasmine tea?”

“Jasmine tea,” his mother begins, “is also enjoyed in the afternoon, like lemon tea, because it has a light and refreshing flavor. But it protects your body from radical and bad effects.”

Kyuhyun slowly nods again like he’s on one of his favorite classes in the university, knowledge pouring inside his brain. He looks like he’s thinking about it and what he wants to drink but he turns to look at his father again.

“What if I drink lemon tea, Dad?”

His father suddenly looks like he’s being asked a question worth a trip around the world and he isn’t able to answer quickly. But nevertheless, he glances to his wife again and answers his son. “I guess it’s okay,” he says, walking towards the table to join Mrs. Cho and Kyuhyun. “But it’s sour, Kyuhyun. Although if you like it, then it’s okay.”

“What if I drink jasmine tea then?”

“I honestly think it’s the best choice. Not to mention it’s delicious, it’s got the best health benefits for you,” Mrs. Cho answers. “Although if you don’t like it, it’s your choice.”

“What if I drink lavender tea? What if I drink rose tea?”

“Well, they’re both pretty flowers,” Mr. Cho begins.

Kyuhyun laughs and Mrs. Cho shakes her head.

“But really,” his father continues seriously despite Kyuhyun’s fit of laughter. “You can choose whatever you like, Kyuhyun.”

He suddenly stops laughing and stares not blankly but quite the opposite at the four different teas his mother prepared for him. He doesn’t even know why his mother already prepared all but they are all staring back at him like they are speaking to him and like he is also answering back. He thinks it’s crazy, this is crazy.

But for the past months, what is not?

And he thinks he’s already lost it, so what is there to lose more?

He is still talking to the lemon tea, rose tea, lavender tea and jasmine tea in front of him, without looking at his parents who are both looking at him with concern but are not imposing and doesn’t want to interrogate for answers, he quietly asks, “What if I choose something and it’s not what you like?”

His father and mother exchange glances and it’s not even ninja now. They’re not even pretending to be ninjas anymore as they openly exchange glances, asking one another what their son can probably mean. But really, no variables, Kyuhyun is asking them what if he chooses something and it’s not what they like. Like, what if he chooses a pair of shoes and it’s not what they like? What if he chooses a printed shirt over a plain one and they hate the print of the shirt? What if he chooses rose tea but they think jasmine tea is the best for him?

So the variables are not exactly important as the core of the question.

“Choose what you think is best for you. Choose what will make you the happiest,” Mrs. Cho finally answers, looking at Kyuhyun even though he is still looking at the teacups.

Kyuhyun smiles at his mother’s answer but keeps his head down, afraid that words won’t come out if he sees the looks of concern and worry etched on his parents’ faces. He keeps his eyes on the teacups and asks again, “What if it will not make you happy? What if it will not make other people happy?”

His parents exchange glances again.

“Is it bad?” Mrs. Cho asks and this time, Kyuhyun has to look up because is that bad doesn’t register to him as the answer he wants to hear nor the answer he expects.

His mother sees the confusion in her son’s face and she elaborates. “Is it harmful to you? Will it harm you?”

Kyuhyun isn’t sure he understands where his mother is going but he still answers, “No…”

“Will it harm other people?” Mrs. Cho asks again.

“I don’t think so…” Kyuhyun answers uncertainly.

“Is it illegal?” Mrs. Cho asks. “Like prohibited drugs or human trafficking or…”

“No, Mom, no!” Kyuhyun exclaims with widened eyes, suddenly forgetting what he and his parents are even talking about for a second, just astounded that his mother will even suggest human trafficking!

Mrs. Cho finally nods, contented, and concludes, “Then, I don't see a problem.”

Kyuhyun is finally reminded what they are talking about and what this is all about. He looks in awe at his mother and wonders what will she say and if she will answer the same if she knows what he is asking them.

“Don't live your life satisfying other people's description of what will make you happy or not,” his mother continues, looking dearly at him. A silent promise that she will still love him no matter what and there is nothing more important to her than to see him happy. “Don't live your life satisfying other people's happiness. Not even me or Dad, if our choices for you will make your life miserable. We are already doing much for ourselves, believe me. This is your life. It is your life. You are not responsible for other people's happiness as much as you are to yours.”

His mother smiles at him and Kyuhyun misses this kind of smile, a smile so genuine that even if he has not told them everything, even if there is so much to tell, so much to admit, so much to confess, a smile so genuine that he believes his parents will always be there for him.

“Choose to be happy, Kyuhyun,” Mrs. Cho says.

“We'll support you. We always will,” his father adds, smiling at Kyuhyun even though everything is still a mystery to him. But he means what he said with all his heart.

“But please, baby, please,” his mother continues, “Don't deny yourself your happiness.”

Kyuhyun purses his lips together because if not, he might not keep himself from bawling like what he wants to do for a moment now. He keeps his eyes closed and bits his lower lip, letting the moment and the time slowly fade. Because he does not know what to say. He does not know how to respond to that kind of love and understanding and acceptance, knowing that his parents are still in daze with what this is about. It is unconditional and real.

He finally opens his eyes and stares at the four teacups in the table his mother prepared for him.

“I like rose tea,” Kyuhyun declares, taking the first teacup and sipping on it. “I’ll drink this.”

“Why not?” Mr. Cho laughs and puts his arm on his wife’s shoulder.

Mrs. Cho smiles and looks at her son, still confused though what this is all about but she isn’t going to ask, not until her son is ready to tell.

“Mom, Dad,” Kyuhyun puts down the cup after taking a big gulp.

He looks at both his parents and yes, he is still afraid. It’s probably why he chooses to leave out the variables first because he is still afraid and uncertain but this time, he wants to trust other people over himself and his fears. He wants to trust his parents. Because honestly, if there are people he knows he can trust better than he does himself now, those people are his parents.

His parents are waiting and he can still see the same eyes that looked after him on his first day of school, on the swing and slide at the playground on the park, on his first school dance and on the numerous entrance examinations he took for college because he can’t decide where to go after high school. They have dark bags under their eyes and wrinkles are more prominent all over their face but they are the same eyes during those times that are full of love.

“I am in love with a guy named Jongwoon,” Kyuhyun tells his parents at exactly 3:46 in the morning.

A/N: Hey, guys! How is everyone holding up? :) - EK