Kyuhyun slowly strides at the venue hall, careful not to trip because of things and people on his way and also because of maybe too much wine he’s drank ever since he has accepted that maybe, probably, he won’t be meeting Yesung tonight.

Besides Ryeowook, Kyuhyun hasn’t seen anybody he knows. Not that he wants to, but at least, he’s hoping to see Jongwoon, because at least, Jongwoon gets him off things he doesn’t want to think and even though he doesn’t want to admit it, Jongwoon has already made his way on Jongwoon’s heart and that now, Jongwoon has a place on it. Now, with no Yesung and no Jongwoon around, Kyuhyun feels undeniably empty, not knowing what to do to ease the emptiness his heart is feeling.

He finds solution in the unlimited, overflowing drinks that they are still offering even if the ball is near to its close and as a matter of fact, some people are already leaving to get back to their homes or to get to hotels to make out more. Kyuhyun doesn’t care. Or at least, that’s what Kyuhyun is telling himself.

Never in his life has he felt more alone than now.

He figures he should go and look for his friends, Sungmin, Hyukjae and Donghae but he doesn’t even know if Sungmin came and he’s sure that by now, Hyukjae and Donghae are probably making out with someone they only met at the ball. Kyuhyun isn’t even sure if he wants to see Hyukjae or Sungmin kiss and touch someone who Kyuhyun is sure will never last a week with either of them.

Love is different from lust, Kyuhyun thinks. And Kyuhyun knows that whoever is Hyukjae and Donghae are kissing and touching now, what they’re feeling towards them isn’t love, is far from love.

And it’s pathetic, Kyuhyun further thinks, because why would you kiss someone you don’t love?

Kyuhyun shrugs off his thought about his friends because as he thinks about how pathetic his friends are for kissing someone they don’t love, he’s beginning to feel that it’s more pathetic of him to think that his friends are pathetic when at least, they have somebody with them, whether they love them or not and whether they’ll be breaking up in a week or not, unlike him who’s got no one.

No one.

It echoes in Kyuhyun’s mind and he clutches the cloth near his heart, unsure if it’s the alcohol taking its toll or the emptiness from within.

He drowns himself in another glass of wine. He’s not sure if that’s his twenty-first bottle or not because he remembers Ryeowook stopping him from getting another glass earlier so Kyuhyun lost his count. Nonetheless, he gets another after another, drinking like there’s no tomorrow.

Five more minutes and he can get out of his freaking, hellish ball.

Five more minutes means more glasses of wine.

Kyuhyun grabs another and drinks it straight.

Five more minutes…

“The last dance,” Kyuhyun barely registers what the DJ is saying because when he lost his hope of meeting Yesung that night on the ball, he doesn’t care about what anybody is saying anymore, may it be somebody proposing through the DJ or breaking up with someone through a sad, letting-go song dedication, “is kind of unexpected.”

That kind of gets Kyuhyun’s attention because as far as he could remember, all the DJ is saying are things like, “This song is from him to her,” or “She dedicated his to him,” but never that kind of introduction. Plus, it’s the last dance, so more or less, and not that Kyuhyun cares (He doesn’t care anymore.), it has to be a little more special because it’s the last.

So Kyuhyun gets two glasses from the bar and the waiter doesn’t stop him anymore because Kyuhyun looks like he’s ready to kill if someone will stop him from drinking. He nearly got Ryeowook killed earlier if he didn’t recognize whose collar he was holding. He walks towards the near empty dance floor and stands in the middle of it, only waiting for what kind of “unexpected” it is.

“I know I’m supposed to be playing a sweet, romantic and we can’t deny cheesy song as the song finale,” the DJ further explains, looking at the audience who is anticipating the final song, “but this is a special request and by the looks of those who requested this, I can’t help but feel the need to accept the request.”

Kyuhyun snorts, “Who the hell is that selfish to ruin the night with a sad song? What the hell!”

Not that he cares (To emphasize, Kyuhyun doesn’t care anymore.) but he just wants to retort because as much as he wants to cry, there is nobody to hold him, as much as he wants to talk, there is nobody to listen, and as much as he wants to shout, there is no reason to. He doesn’t know Yesung. And that feels a million times more stupid to cry, to talk and to shout about someone whom you don’t know.

“So, with no further ado, ladies and gentlemen,” the DJ finally says, “this song is from Yesung to Kyuhyun.”

Kyuhyun freezes.

He almost drops the wine glass he is holding that is still half full but fortunately, he catches himself and settles the glass in the nearest table because he’s not sure he can catch it any more than once.

From Yesung to Kyuhyun.

That repeats itself in Kyuhyun’s head as he stares blankly at the DJ who is opening a piece of white paper with handwritten words written in it in red ball pen.

Kyuhyun can’t move. He knows nobody knows who Yesung is to him or who is he to Yesung. He’s sure that nobody can even recognize him with his mask other than Ryeowook who seems to be nowhere in sight now. But nevertheless, Kyuhyun freezes. He doesn’t know if it’s because of the suddenness of what’s happening or if it’s because he’s been secretly hoping in the inside that something like this – or something at least similar – to this will happen and it’s now happening.

From Yesung to Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun repeats the words in his head and as if those words aren’t enough to stop Kyuhyun’s world from spinning, to stop his mind from functioning and to stop his heart from beating, the DJ spoke his words:

“I know you’re looking for me.

I know you’re waiting.

It must be sad and it must be lonely,

waiting for something, for someone who will never show up.”

Kyuhyun takes a deep breath, suddenly forgetting that it requires breathing to stay alive. Those are his words and those are his words for Kyuhyun and Kyuhyun doesn’t know if he’s glad that he’s hearing them even from somebody else’s voice or if he’s miserable, thinking that this is all it could ever be, this is all they could ever be.

“But know this.

Somewhere, someone is thinking of your laugh,

of your voice, and of your smile;

of your frown, of your furrowed eyebrows, and of your sleepy eyes;

of your silly jokes and sarcastic remarks.

Somewhere, someone is longing for you

and is hoping that one day, you’ll meet, too.”

“Kyuhyun-ssi, whoever you are,” the DJ says softly, unlike her usual energetic and loud tone from since earlier, “it’s such a regret that Yesung-ssi can’t meet you tonight but like what the letter said, know that somewhere, someone is longing for you and is hoping that one day, you’ll meet, too.”

There is a pause because of murmurs and whispers about who is Kyuhyun and who is Yesung. But soon, the murmurs are followed by, “I hope they’ll meet soon,” and “It’s sad that they can’t meet tonight,” and even “Their time will come. It’s not just now.” And Kyuhyun had wanted to ask desperately, “When? When will it come?”

When the greater noise subsided, the DJ continues, “This is the last song of the night, ladies and gentlemen. I hope you all had a great night. Kyuhyun-ssi, this song is for you, from Yesung-ssi. Good evening, everyone!”

And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't wanna go home right now

“Thank you, Sooyoung-ah, Joohyun-ah,” Jongwoon says over the phone, concentrating the last of his already fading strength on his throat and on his voice. “This means a lot to me. So thank you… very much.”

Despite of how far they are from each other, the depth of Jongwoon’s gratitude reaches Sooyoung and Joohyun and they feel how important this is for Jongwoon. Joohyun immediately grabs Sooyoung hand, running towards the ball quickly.

Jongwoon comes out of the telephone booth and looks at the wound on his right hand. It’s still bleeding, but not as much as it is bleeding from earlier. The cloth he tied on his wound to apply pressure is all wet and heavy now. Carefully, Jongwoon untied it but the pain is still there. Biting his lips, Jongwoon fought the cries that are trying to escape his mouth. Blinking away the tears, he walks forward to get home.

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
When sooner or later it's over
I just don't wanna miss you tonight

Jongwoon is still dressed in Hyesung’s clothes, is still wearing a long wig and makeup. He thinks of Kyuhyun, of how he’ll react after hearing his message and after hearing the song. More than anything else, more than Kyuhyun’s love and understanding, Jongwoon is hoping for Kyuhyun’s acceptance.

The wound in his wrist stings but what pierces through Jongwoon more is Kyuhyun is waiting there for him and he is walking farther away from Kyuhyun. How long must he stay this way? How long must they stay this way?

Sooner or later, it’s over.

But what will happen?

Who will be happy?

And who won’t be?

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

Jongwoon opens their front gate and is welcome by his worried mother who asks him, “Hyesung-ah, where did you go? Are you alright, baby?”

Jongwoon wonders if he should fight now. Jongwoon wonders if he should stop this madness now. He’s strong enough, and he doesn’t want to be imprisoned in someone he isn’t. He doesn’t want this anymore. Not anymore.

“I’m fine, eomma,” Jongwoon replies, faking brightness in his voice.

“Are you sure, baby?”

I’m Hyesung. I’m Yesung. I’m Jongwoon.

Do you know who I am?

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive

Jongwoon nods and lets his mother hold his frail, thin body inside their house and up to Hyesung’s room. He lets his mother put his to bed and he lets his mother tuck him under the covers. He lets his mother kiss his forehead and he lets his mother say, “Sleep, Hyesung-ah.”

When his mother turns off the light and all Jongwoon sees is pitch black, he opens his eyes and stares at the ceiling. He wonders when this will end. He wonders when he’ll be free. But then, Jongwoon is just glad that at least, he’s alive.

He raises his right hand so he can see his wound. It finally stopped bleeding.

Yet, Jongwoon presses the wound a little.

A tiny drop of blood comes out from the wound.

Jongwoon stops it immediately soon after.

I’m alive.

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

Kyuhyun tears himself from the dance floor and runs to the stage where the DJ is getting ready to leave. “Who requested the song? Who gave the letter?” he questions the DJ desperately.

The DJ looks at him, surprised for a brief amount of moment, but then recovers quickly and asks Kyuhyun, “Are you Kyuhyun-ssi?”

Kyuhyun nods desperately.

He wants to know who Yesung is.

He needs to know who he is.

“I’m sorry, Kyuhyun-ssi,” the DJ says, getting his backpack from behind the table she’s been using to play songs and make music, “but Yesung-ssi isn’t the one who gave me the letter. There’s a reason why he can’t make it.”

“Who then?” Kyuhyun asks frantically. “Who gave you the letter?”

“Two girls,” the DJ answers, looking seriously at Kyuhyun. “One with black mask and the other with white, matching their long gowns.”

“Do you know who are they?”

“No. I’m sorry.”

“Please, if you remember their faces,” Kyuhyun begins to beg. He doesn’t even understand when he learned to beg, but even so, he does. “Please, I’m begging you. If you remember,” but the DJ interrupts him,

“I’m sorry. I really didn’t see their faces that clearly.”

“I – I’m sorry,” Kyuhyun suddenly feels embarrassed. This isn’t anybody but his problem. He shouldn’t be prodding it on someone else’s shoulder. “I – I shouldn’t have done something like that.”

Kyuhyun turns his back on the DJ but before he walks away, the DJ calls his attention again, “Kyuhyun-ssi?”

Kyuhyun turns around.

I just want you to know who I am.

“It might not be the best time,” the DJ says, smiling a little, “but everything that’s written in the letter is true. One day, you’ll meet, too.”

Kyuhyun looks at her.

I just want you to know who I am.

“Do you know Yesung?”

“No,” she says, “but I’m sure, one day, you will.”

Kyuhyun stops. Then, he smiles weakly at her.

“Thank you.”

I just want you to know who I am.

The song ended and everybody at the ball begins leaving but Kyuhyun only stands there, memorizing the place, remembering where he stood when the song played and when he heard Yesung’s letter. Because one day, like Yesung had said, he’ll meet him, and when that day comes, Kyuhyun would like to replay this moment with Yesung beside him.

A/N: I’m not really sure about these two chapters. But this is how I want this to happen so I’m really sorry if I disappoint you or anything. >.<

I’m sorry for not updating for like almost a week? That’s not like me. But it’s because of Super Junior’s Super Show 5 in Manila! OMG, the boys are so handsome up close and up to now, even almost after a week since the concert, I still haven’t gotten over it. Too bad Yesung’s not with them. :(((

So, what do you think guys? I’m really sorry. You must have anticipated that Kyuhyun will finally learn about Yesung’s true identity on the ball but I’ve got more plans. XD So… there. What do you think? Am I still going to continue this? :))

Lots of love guys! – Elle Kim