Jongwoon won’t say it out loud and he definitely won’t admit it to Heechul but ever since Heechul came back from Europe, it’s not like life has returned back to normal, but with Heechul around, it’s been better and Jongwoon will take better everyday than nothing at all. Heechul would go with him to the university from time to time, after greeting Jongwoon’s parents that he came back from Europe, and dragging Jongwoon because sometimes, Jongwoon doesn’t really want to see people from the university, and at which point Heechul will mention Sooyoung and Joohyun and of course, Jongwoon will feel guilty.

“Why are you so sneaky, hyung?” Jongwoon frowns as he gets up from the bottom of the stairs outside his house and grabs his bag of books.

“I’m not!” Heechul defends his honor. “I’m merely stating a point.”

“Right,” Jongwoon will nevertheless follow Heechul to the bus station heading to the university.

Heechul walks ahead of him and Jongwoon realizes he is smiling more and more now that Heechul’s around. He misses Kyuhyun’s messages and Kyuhyun’s emails and Kyuhyun’s voice and Kyuhyun’s laughs and Kyuhyun’s smiles and Kyuhyun’s face and Kyuhyun, yes. But after that morning when he was with Heechul and he saw Kyuhyun, the younger has been avoiding him more than ever.

Jongwoon doesn’t know what to do.

He’s been trying to go on with his life. After all, what do he and Kyuhyun have? What did they even have before? But sometimes, he’ll just wake in his bed and wonder where everything went so wrong that he can’t see Kyuhyun anymore, that he can’t talk to Kyuhyun anymore?

There are just some nights when Jongwoon misses Kyuhyun so much it kills him and he doesn’t know what to do.

“Jongwoon! Are you seriously trying to get to your first period on time or are you planning to be extra early for your next period?” Heechul shouts at Jongwoon, arriving at the bus stations probably fifteen meters ahead of Jongwoon and letting a bus passed because again, Jongwoon is still at least fifteen meters away from him. “Hurry up! Run!”

Despite Heechul’s bossiness and tapping foot, Jongwoon only laughs and jogs towards the bus station. (He can’t run. His heart, Heechul, remember?)

“So what are going to do, hyung?”

“I’m just about to ask you that, Jongwoon.”

He looks quizzically at Heechul and Heechul rolls his eyes on him.

“What are you going to do, Jongwoon? He’s obviously in love with you, too –” Heechul starts and Jongwoon is about to interrupt him when he holds his hand to shut up Jongwoon, “Don’t! Just don’t, Jongwoon. You know that’s the worst. You can lie to your parents. You can lie to Sooyoung and Joohyun and Siwon. You can lie to the whole world. You can even lie to me, although you can’t, to be honest.”

Jongwoon has to stop a smile.

“But you can’t lie to yourself, Jongwoon,” Heechul finishes seriously. “You can’t. You just can’t.”

He knows that. He just doesn’t know what to do.

“He loves me,” Jongwoon slowly says and even though it’s not a question anymore, it’s a statement full of doubts.

“He does.”

“If he truly does, hyung,” Jongwoon looks up at Heechul with eyes so full with questions. “Then why is he avoiding me? Why won’t he talk to me? Why is he running away?”

 “Won’t it be best to get the answer from him, Jongwoon?”

Jongwoon looks at Heechul for a couple of seconds and considers Heechul’s suggestion before dropping himself on the bench behind them. He still has about ten minutes before first period and he doesn’t want to go, yet.

“I can’t do that, hyung.”

“Why not?”

“What if he doesn’t really love me? What if he’s avoiding me because he hates me now? What if he’s not running away but he’s being cautious this time?” Jongwoon says with a sad smile as he clamps his small hands together and stares at the grass. “What if he says meeting me is the biggest mistake in his life?”

Jongwoon glances at Heechul again and meets the older’s eyes who looks like he will punch Jongwoon any second now but is stopped when Jongwoon smiles sadly at him. (Heechul’s blood is seriously boiling and he is screaming inside his head, HOW CAN HE SMILE AFTER SAYING ALL THOSE THING???)

“I don’t think I can handle that, hyung.”

“What if it’s not something like that?”

“How will you know, hyung?”

“That’s the point, Jongwoon!” Heechul sits beside Jongwoon in frustration. “You won’t know unless you do something about it. You won’t know unless you ask him what he really feels for you.”

“But if he says something like that…”

“Then he says something like that!” Heechul ends his statement. “And you can begin thinking how big of an he is for leading you on, for being an ungrateful jerk for everything you did for him. For lying to the whole world that he knows all along and for letting you take all the fall. You can begin thinking how wrong Hyesung was for what she thought of him. And you can begin moving on, Jongwoon.”

That stops Jongwoon.

“You can’t be his prisoner forever, Jongwoon-ah,” Heechul says in the gentlest of ways. “That is, if what you’re saying is true. That he isn’t in love with you, which I think, is stupid.”

A/N: I love Heechul. <3