“Well, isn’t it great, oppa? He’s finally going to know who you really are,” Joohyun says, spraying water on the plants in the botanical garden that Donghae and Hyukjae are so used calling turtle garden because of rumors that Jongwoon is always there, talking to turtles.

“Hyun’s right, oppa,” Sooyoung adds, “Besides when do you plan to tell him that it’s you anyway? It’s time.”

Jongwoon sighs. “I don’t know,” he says, playing with the turtles in the turtle pond, keeping them from hiding themselves from Jongwoon in the water, more to the turtles than to the two girls with him.

Joohyun and Sooyoung are three years younger than him. Like Sooyeon, they are both senior in the university’s high school extension but unlike Sooyeon who is very popular and well-liked by their classmates, Joohyun and Sooyoung are what you will call the outcasts. Well, pretty much like Jongwoon.

Joohyun is rumored to be seeing ghosts and talking to spirits while Sooyoung is said to have beaten an entire gang of delinquents back in middle school. Jongwoon knows none of the rumors are true because one, Joohyun is the scariest person in ghosts Jongwoon knows. She can’t even listen to lamest ghost stories that Jongwoon will try to say from time to time to . In the end, Joohyun will cry because of fear and Jongwoon will treat her her favorite vanilla ice cream. And two, Sooyoung can’t even hurt an ant. So how can she possibly beat a person, let alone people?

When Jongwoon first met the two of them in the botanical garden, both of them have their eyes bloodshot and hiccupping. A normal person would think that they have been crying, of course. Jongwoon didn’t know how but he sort of just asked them what’s wrong and told them that it’s going to be okay in the end and if it’s not yet okay then it’s not yet the end, then the three of them became friends.

Besides, Joohyun has this exceptional, beautiful voice and Sooyoung’s not far behind as well. And the three of them likes to hang out, just singing lines from songs they adore.

“Maybe this whole relationship is better in cyber space,” Jongwoon mutters, finally leaving the turtles in peace and sitting straight.

He smiles when he sees that Joohyun’s still watering the plants and Sooyoung’s eating (again). When Jongwoon will look at Joohyun and Sooyoung, it’s like he’s seeing himself. Joohyun and Sooyoung are not weird. They’re not psychic or delinquents. They’re just misunderstood.

“Come on, oppa, you’ve talked to him since the start of classes,” Sooyoung still says. “You know him. You’ve got to meet him at the Thanksgiving Ball.”

“Yes,” Jongwoon argues, “but he doesn’t know me. What if he sees me and I’m not what he expects? He expects Yesung, not the weirdo-turtle-talking Kim Jongwoon.”

Joohyun finishes watering the plants and settles the sprinkler in one of the tables of the garden. She proceeds in the table where Jongwoon and Sooyoung are sitting. “Oppa, when are you going to realize that you are Yesung and Yesung is you?”

“It’s different, Joohyun-ah,” Jongwoon answers tiredly. “He,” he starts trying to explain, “respects Yesung, he looks up to Yesung, he adores Yesung. He likes Yesung. And I’m not Yesung. He’s someone I created, someone I want to be. I’ll never be like Yesung.”

“Then, oppa, did he not interacted or communicated with Yesung?” Now, Sooyoung’s asking technically and Jongwoon raises his brow before answering,

“He… did, through calls, texts and IMs.”

“Did Yesung only exist in your creative imagination?”

“No, he actually existed to Kyuhyun.”

“And who’s existing as Yesung to Kyuhyun-ssi?”

“Well… me?”

“Who else, oppa?” Sooyoung asks, raising her hand frantically because she loves Jongwoon. Seriously, Jongwoon and Joohyun are most like her only friends and the friends she really would only like to have because she’d rather have the two of them who’ll always stand beside her than the rest of the world who can leave her anytime they want but Jongwoon needs to man up and meet this Kyuhyun. She wants Jongwoon to be happy because he deserves to be.

Joohyun smiles. “What Sooyoungie’s saying, oppa,” she says, “is Yesung might not be real and you might be right about saying that he’s only someone you created virtually but it doesn’t mean that he doesn’t exist because he does, for Kyuhyun, for Sooyoungie, for me, and he’s going under his real name, Kim Jongwoon, and he’s going to the Thanksgiving Dance.”

Sooyoung nods and smiles, “Oppa, we just want you to be happy.”

Joohyun glances at Sooyoung and catches the other girl’s eyes. Then she says to Jongwoon, “If it’s any help, oppa, we’ll go with you to the ball.”

Now, that takes longer than necessary for Jongwoon to digest. Joohyun, the girl all high school students are afraid off because she’s rumored to see and talk to ghosts and spirits, and Sooyoung, the girl all high school students are afraid off because she’s rumored to have wiped out an entire gang of delinquents back in middle school are going to the ball with him?

“Really? You’d do that?” Jongwoon asks in amazement.

Sooyoung nods and Joohyun smiles at him again.

Jongwoon thinks about his life and he thinks about Kyuhyun. He thinks about Joohyun and Sooyoung who both wants him to be happy. He thinks about his parents, the turtles in the turtle pond, absolutely insane precalc problems and his breakfast that morning.

After several, long and dragging minutes, Jongwoon sighs and grins at Joohyun and Sooyoung, “Well, what are we going to wear?”

Jongwoon still isn’t sure. Goddamnit, he’s never going to be sure if it’s right to meet Kyuhyun at the Thanksgiving Ball. He first met him at the beginning of the classes when the university introduces a clan, both online and on mobile. It’s been five months and Kyuhyun says that he likes Yesung.

Would it be wrong for Jongwoon to hope that maybe, just maybe, Kyuhyun will like him, too?

Later, that night, Jongwoon checks his email account and sees if there’s any announcement or message from school or home. No announcement or messages and Jongwoon doesn’t really care because after his whole existence being like that, it seems like ordinary now, that nobody really cares about him. Well, except for Joohyun and Sooyoung who’ll take offense if they knew he’d think that.

Sure enough, right after logging on for less than a minutes, Joohyun and Sooyoung IMed him.

KeroKeroHyun: Jongwoon-oppa, have you eaten dinner?

CHOIsoo0210: The ball’s masquerade, right oppa?

redred: I’ve eaten, Joohyun ^^

redred: I don’t know, Soo. >.< Honestly, I’m starting to second think it…

CHOIsoo0210: No you don’t oppa! You’re going! ^_^v

redred: Sooyoung, really…

redred: I got to go, you two. You can still message me on my other account, ok?

KeroKeroHyun: Kyuhyun-ssi’s waiting for you, eh oppa? ^^

Jongwoon blushes even though he’s alone in the computer laboratory in the university. The thought of Kyuhyun waiting for him to be online is really, what, sweet? But then, Jongwoon thinks again, Kyuhyun is waiting for Yesung, not him.

redred: That’s not it, Hyun. -_-

Jongwoon says even though that’s it. Thankfully, Joohyun and Sooyoung didn’t hold him there any longer because the two knows how much Jongwoon likes chatting with Kyuhyun.

KeroKeroHyun: Oppa, eat :)) See you tomorrow!

CHOIsoo0210: Goodnight, oppa! :D

Jongwoon’s eyebrows twitch when Joohyun said ‘eat.’ How did she know Jongwoon lied about eating already? Jongwoon shrugs it off because as much as it’s just a stupid rumor that Joohyun can see ghosts, he swears that girl must have eyes everywhere.

redred: Goodnight! Sweet dreams :) I’ll see you both tomorrow!

Jongwoon’s username in his real email account is “redred” only because he can’t think of any other username, red is his favorite color but the username requirement is more than four characters so he doubled it. That’s how it became “redred.” Truthfully, he can’t think of any other reason and besides, he only uses that email for announcement purposes.

He opens his other email account which goes by the name of Kim Yesung. He looks at the online list but Kyuhyun isn’t there, yet. He figures because it’s only 6:30 in the evening and Kyuhyun still has class.

Jongwoon swivels his chair and looks around as he circles over and over again, surprisingly that doesn’t cause him to get dizzy because he’s thinking really, really hard. Is it really time for him to meet Kyuhyun personally? Is it really time for Kyuhyun to know that Yesung is Jongwoon and Jongwoon is Yesung?

Yesung is someone Jongwoon creates. Someone he wants to be, like what he told Joohyun and Sooyoung. Yesung is this cool hyung that Kyuhyun respects and looks up to. Kyuhyun even likes him. He is charismatic but reserved; handsome but quiet; courageous but not obnoxious while Jongwoon is the complete opposite.

Jongwoon is just, Jongwoon thinks, a mess.

And he doesn’t even dwell on that any further because he doesn’t want to depress himself. He’s still got Kyuhyun and Joohyun and Sooyoung. Jongwoon doesn’t want necessarily everything to be perfect. He just wants Kyuhyun there, and Joohyun and Sooyoung. And if he can have that three persons in his life, then he thinks he’ll be alright.

But apparently, that will be asking for too much because he can’t have Kyuhyun after all.

Yesung has Kyuhyun.

Kyuhyun has Yesung.

And Jongwoon’s stuck in the middle of it, not knowing where to go. Should he move forward and risk everything he and Kyuhyun already, take a step backward and just forget everything that has happened and everything he wished would happen but somehow knows would never happen or remain standing where he was, where it’s all Kyuhyun and he could ever be?

Jongwoon sighs and exasperatedly scratches his hair. Just then, an IM pops out. It’s Kyuhyun.

GaemGyu88: Hyung!!!

voice_of_art: Kyu!!!

Jongwoon doesn’t remember anymore if he researched Yesung first before researching its English meaning or if he searched first about “voice of art” and stumbles the name Yesung. It’s like with Kim Yesung, so much has happened already that he can’t remember those little details but with Kim Jongwoon, he can even remember why his username is such when he made that email account back when he was in middle school.

GaemGyu88: I missed you hyung. ^^

Jongwoon smiles and he wonders how it seems like everything in Kim Yesung’s life is so perfect while it seems likes he is forever bound to live a damned life.

voice_of_art: I missed you, too, Kyu. ^^

What Jongwoon will not give to be completely Yesung now. Truthfully, after being Jongwoon and Yesung for a period of months already, he doesn’t know anymore if he’s Jongwoon or Yesung. He doesn’t know, really. But he does know that right now, Kyuhyun is IMing with him and is telling him that he misses him and he’s telling Kyuhyun that he misses them back and honestly, if Jongwoon doesn’t know what will happen next after this, either he steps forward, stands in his place or takes a step backward, honestly, who knows?

YOLO – You Only Live Once; Jongwoon read that somewhere and after everything that has happened in Jongwoon’s life, either he’s really Jongwoon or when he’s Yesung, he can testify so much to prove that. You only live once but if you live it well, once is enough.

Jongwoon’s life isn’t perfect, not necessarily. Well, who is, right? But at least, Jongwoon’s happy and for that, he is thankful already. He has friends who treat him like family and Kyuhyun is chatting him right now. What more can he ask?

Besides, the ball is still two weeks to go.

Jongwoon and Kyuhyun chatted (well, Kyuhyun chatted with Yesung but whatever really since they’re just the same) until the janitor who’s closing all the rooms in the university had to tell Jongwoon, “Kid, it’s time to go home.”

And it’s like telling Jongwoon, “It’s time to get back to reality.”

A/N: Hey you, guys. This chapter is mostly centered in Jongwoon’s point of view and I’m sorry it has very few KyuSung (I’m mad at myself for that, too, don’t worry.). I promise there’ll be more KyuSung moments in the future chapters. :)) Plus, you got to meet Joohyun and Sooyoung. You met Sooyeon already, right? Um, there’ll be… Oops, it’s a secret. Haha.

I haven’t have time to edit/proofread since Hell Week’s still until Friday (freakin’ Hell Week) and my mind’s toast but it’s still fresh if it’s writing about my/our lovely Kyusung.

Thank you, my loves, for reading and especially those leaving comments. You have no idea how much it motivates me to write more reading all your precious comments.

I have no idea I can write a chaptered fic but we don’t know yet until it’s finished so hang around, stay with us (me and Kyuhyun and Yesung) and let’s all see how their story goes. :))

I love you, guys, really~! – Elle Kim