If there’s anything Jongwoon is willing to go back for in the university other than Sooyoung and Joohyun, it’s only the choir because of the choir itself and Maestro Jang. Not only to him but to other choir members as well (except Kyuhyun, obviously, he thinks to himself sarcastically), Maestro Jang has been, not only the choir’s adviser and instructor, but also an important guide for them in the university. Whether it’s about failing subjects or cheating boyfriends and girlfriends or parents who don’t understand how music can help lift up your soul and change your life, Maestro Jang always has time and ears to listen and sometimes, if asked, few words for advice.

During his three years on the university, even when he hasn’t joined the choir, yet, because he feels it’s unsafe and he feels like there’s no reason for it anyway, Maestro Jang was there for him. He doesn’t have it in him to leave him hanging for the important year-end competition among other universities. He knows Maestro Jang believes in him and he kind of believes in himself, too. The only problem is Kyuhyun.

Jongwoon knows it’s unprofessional to choose who you want to sing with so he doesn’t say anything when he begins attending practices again, although he’s still skipping all of his classes. He knows with the credits he earned from the beginning of the semester until the third, it would be fine to let him join this competition. After that, it wouldn’t matter anyway. But then, it turns out he didn’t have anything to be worried about because Kyuhyun quit choir.

Well, he didn’t really, technically. He is still a member of the choir but he did submit a formal withdrawal letter to Maestro Jang about his intention to withdraw himself from the inter-university competition.

“He said it’s for the basketball team,” Maestro Jang explains to Jongwoon when he shows up for practice.

He doesn’t really have to say much because the whole university is kind of in the gym when Yoona made her big show and everyone has been talking, speculating, suspecting about it since. Maestro Jang probably knows more than Jongwoon knows so he doesn’t bother thinking how to explain. He’d do this for the choir and for Maestro Jang. And it’s over, after all.

So he doesn’t have to explain anymore, doesn’t have to hurt anymore.

He looks at Maestro Jang, like it’s no big deal at all. “It’s fine. Or do you want to change me, too, since mine and Kyuhyun’s harmony is what got you to choose us for the duet competition, right, Maestro? I mean, it’s absolutely okay with me, too.”

The sooner, the better, Jongwoon thinks.

Maestro Jang studies Jongwoon’s face and he’s no psychologist, can’t even pass as a counselor but he’s known Jongwoon and he doesn’t have to be either psychologist or counselor to realize and understand his student’s actions. He is tired but he knows why he came back. To sing.

How do you just take something – that one thing – that’s keeping a person alive?

“You know, when I received Kyuhyun’s letter, I was worried about you, too,” Maestro Jang says instead of answering Jongwoon’s question. “I was worried I would have to look for and make a two-week choice who are going to represent our university for duet. But now you’re here, since you’ve come back after all, I don’t have to worry much.”

Jongwoon understands and he’s thrilled. He thinks of Maestro Jang and the entire choir but he is doing this because he wants to as well. He realizes it’s about time in his life to do things he wants to do, not because of someone important to him, not because someone is asking him to. He has grown tired of it.

“Will it be okay?” he still asks, though, because as much as he wants to do it, this is still an official competition for the university that might be significant for the next decade or century, depending on the result. He wants to know if he, or they, whoever is going to be chosen as his new partner, has at least a chance.

The adviser’s eyes crinkle in his way of smiling because Maestro Jang rarely smiles with his lips. He kind of chuckles, although it always comes out more like a light roar, and says, “What?”

You’ve got one of the best voices I’ve encountered in my life, Jongwoon.

“I mean, we only have two week left, right? We don’t know yet who’s going to be my new partner and the song. Right, the song! What’s going to be the song, Maesto?”

“Your Eyes,” Maesto Jang answers thoughtfully, pushing his glasses on the bridge of his nose to get a better look of Jongwoon expression. “It’s not going to change. The only part we’re going to change here is who you’re going to sing it with, Jongwoon.”

Oh. He isn’t prepared for that. He thinks he has prepared himself for all of this, in case he sees Yoona, in case Sooyoung and Joohyun and Heechul ask him questions, in case Siwon comes up to him again, in case he bumps into Ryeowook, in case he cross paths with Kyuhyun accidentally. He only comes back to sing for the competition, for the choir and the maestro, and hopefully, for himself. He has thought of the possibility of singing ‘Your Eyes’ with Kyuhyun.

He has thought of the possibility of Kyuhyun withdrawing and singing with someone else.

But he has not thought of singing ‘Your Eyes’ with someone else. It , even for Jongwoon, because he promised Kyuhyun it will be the last and with that promise, he seals it with his resolve to himself that it’s over. So he shouldn’t be feeling all emotional like this, feeling like an emotional wreck because he is going to sing ‘Your Eyes’, his song, Kyuhyun’s song, their song with someone else.

It’s just another song, he keeps on reminding himself along with the image of Kyuhyun’s confused, hurt and exhausted expression that night.

Just another song. Just another song…

Their voices are so different, that’s the first thing Jongwoon notices when Maestro Jang asks Kim Youngwoon to sing some parts of ‘Your Eyes’ while he sits and watches this bear-like guy sing a song about pain and longing. He also notices the name and muses on the fact that he and Youngwoon could have been brothers, lost brothers although he is sure Hyesung is the only sibling he had. He thinks he has seen Youngwoon a lot before so he’s not really a new choir member. Also, they’re in the same year.

“What do you think, Jongwoon?” Maestro Jang suddenly pops his bubble of thoughts.

Youngwoon looks earnestly at him and even though he’s so huge compared to Jongwoon, he finds it endearing that despite his looks, he’s genuinely invested in his craft. He wonders how often he gets misunderstood because of his looks despite his love for singing. He wonders how often people judge based on looks without fully knowing what’s underneath.

“He’s good,” Jongwoon says honestly.

He doesn’t necessarily have the credentials to critic but since he’s being asked, he tells them what he truthfully thinks. His voice isn’t really special, not anywhere near Kyuhyun’s. But he can hear the truth in his words and when Jongwoon heard him sing, he doesn’t hear mere words but feelings, and he thinks that’s more important that any special voice.

The courage to convey emotion, Jongwoon thinks to himself, not everyone can do that.

Well, he doesn’t sound particularly pleased with Jongwoon’s two-word comment and he doesn’t hesitate to let his expression show it with his furrowed eyebrows and pouted lips. (Surprisingly, him pouting doesn’t look disgusting.)

But Jongwoon is in no mood to spend his life worrying how to please people anymore. He doesn’t ever want to be in that mood again. He blankly stares back at Youngwoon and Maestro Jang, sensing the tension from two clouds, claps his hand and announces.

“Well, it looks like you two are going to be stuck for two weeks until the competition,” Maestro Jang says with a sly smile. “It doesn’t have to be perfect. I don’t want perfect, you know that. Just practice and sing to your heart’s content on the day of the competition. I’ll live it all to the both of you.”

He knows there’s no reason to find it weird – uneasy, even – to sing with Youngwoon, but even if he’s the one who was asked what he thinks of the other, Jongwoon knows Youngwoon is right whenever he stops him when he’s singing. He says things like,

“Are you singing or are you drifting? I can’t hear a single emotion on what you’re singing.”

“Seriously, are you celebrating someone’s birthday today? Why do you sound so happy?”

They’re off-handed comments, and mostly, people won’t understand but Jongwoon understands it all. He can’t convey proper emotions, can’t translate the song’s words into lyrics and into feelings. Music appeal by two ways, through ears and through heart. If it’s just one or the other, it’s lacking.

“Seriously, dude, we can ask Maestro to change the song because I think this ain’t going well,” Youngwoon finally says, falling on one of the chairs scattered on the sides of the practice room. “Why? Because it’s not him?”

Jongwoon glares daggers at him.

“WHOA!” Youngwoon defensively says, taking offense and waving his hands in front of his face. He knows he might have crossed the line, considering they just met and that’s the first time they talked – even sang together. But this is competition they’re talking about, too. “Seriously, dude, I don’t really give a damn about you and Cho Kyuhyun. No judgment. We haven’t really talked before until now, did we? How the hell would I know the truth from the lies? And besides, like I said, I don’t give a damn. But this is competition, dude. We are representing our university. I really want to win. I want to do well, at the very least. And well, dude… you’re not helping.”

Jongwoon sighs because he knows Youngwoon is, in fact, speaking the truth.

“We don’t have to change the song,” he finally says determinedly. “I can do it.”

Youngwoon kind of looks worriedly at that, sort of gives Jongwoon a I’m not sure about that, dude look. Because even if they’re not going to win it, he at least wants to offer the audience and their university a decent performance.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Jongwoon answers resolutely.

Just a damn song. Just a goddamn song…

He keeps on repeating on his mind and when that didn’t work…

He doesn’t love you, for ’s sake. Jongwoon, get a grip! He’s better off without you and this is going to be the last, right? You said this is going to be last, right? What the ! Get a grip!

And he repeats it on his mind over and over again as he finally begins singing ‘Your Eyes’ with Youngwoon.

A/N:

My last update was on April 9, 2015. I’m so sorry for not updating for so long, guys. I’m really sorry. – Elle