Jongwoon tries his best to be the first person Kyuhyun sees the following day. He gets the credit, because he truly tried, but of course, Yoona has other plans.

And the next thing both Kyuhyun and Jongwoon know, they’re in the opposite sides of the gymnasium. Kyuhyun is sitting with the starting players of the basketball team in the stage while Jongwoon, with Sooyoung and Joohyun, are across the stage, the farthest because there are already too many people inside when they heard about the “special program” that was prepared for the entire university.

There’s nobody standing in the podium, but there’s a voice speaking that can be heard in the loud speakers all over the gymnasium and there’s that projector at the stage for everyone to see flashing different videos of Jongwoon, dressed as Hyesung.

“… It’s really weird, isn’t it? Cho Kyuhyun is a very, very handsome young man, with brains and face that any girl could boast of! But why? Why doesn’t he have a girlfriend?”

“… It isn’t probably a secret. It might even be a given that lots of girls – even boys – are crushing on our team’s point guard. But why doesn’t he have someone?”

“… Well, who is this girl?”

There’s a mocking laughter before the cat is let out of the bag for the whole world to witness.

“… What about a man? This ing – pardon the term, everyone – is dressing as a girl, posing as a girl, pretending to be a girl! He’s so delusional that he thinks Cho Kyuhyun will fall in love with him even though he is a guy! Could you believe how hopeless and pathetic that is? Isn’t that so… tragic? His sister died because of him. His parents don’t love him, don’t care for him! That’s why he’s looking for love, everyone. He thinks Cho Kyuhyun is in love with him but poor, poor point guard who doesn’t know he’s being fooled! Fooled, everyone!”

“… Now, who wants to know who is this pathetic person, a miserable liar?”

There’s a loud roar in the gymnasium, a confused mind at the stage and an empty heart amongst the crowd.

Jongwoon loved his sister. Jongwoon loves his sister. He could still die for his older sister then if given, but his sister died already. His sister is gone. His sister died because she was ready. How long is Jongwoon supposed to live beneath his sister’s shadow, after his sister’s death?

And his parents, Jongwoon knows they could never love him as much as they did – still do – Hyesung, but saying they don’t love him or they don’t care about him at all, isn’t that too much? He gets that Yoona likes Kyuhyun. He gets that Yoona has probably fallen in love with Kyuhyun, is probably in love with Kyuhyun, but does she really have to go that far?

It just that even those people, even those who doesn’t have the heart to hurt a leaf, is getting caught in the crossfire and are the ones getting hurt. Jongwoon wants to understand this, wants to understand Yoona, wants to understand that there’s a reason behind everything that’s going on, even those worst times. But it’s too much. It’s just too much.

But what can he do?

Jongwoon closes his eyes and it relieves him, even in the slightest, that Sooyoung and Joohyun are both holding his hands and they didn’t let go. They didn’t let go even though he knows that they’re probably going to get caught in this crossfire, too.

They didn’t let go.

They didn’t let go.

“… And that disgusting liar, a gay and a cross-dresser…  Let’s all give it up for KIM JONGWOON!”

He doesn’t know how or why but in that instant, Kyuhyun’s eyes meet Jongwoon’s amongst the crowd.

Jongwoon is aware of the fact that everything is practically out now, not just with Kyuhyun but with everybody on the university gym who heard what Yoona revealed. He is aware of the fact that he is currently being ridiculed now and that Joohyun and Sooyoung are tugging his arm, asking him to go with them already because this isn’t good for Jongwoon. He is aware of the fact that tomorrow, he will probably suffer the same consequences that happened with Sooyeon and Miyoung simply because of loving each other. Jongwoon is aware of all that, but he can’t seem to care because he sees Kyuhyun’s eyes and he doesn’t understand or recognize the thousand flashing emotions in Kyuhyun’s face at one.

Is that disgust?

Confusion?

Contempt?

Hatred?

“Let’s go, oppa,” Sooyoung pulls Jongwoon’s arms again.

Everyone in the gym is already shouting ridicules at Jongwoon, throwing something like pieces of paper or trash on him. If that doesn’t seem enough, someone shouts, “!”

“Hey, stop it, you !” Sooyoung turns to glare at the girl who shouted that to Jongwoon and is almost in the first fight of her life after her almost-fight with Sooyeon in the cafeteria if Joohyun doesn’t grab her arm and motions her to look over at Jongwoon, still looking at Kyuhyun.

Jongwoon wants him to say something, anything. It doesn’t matter if Kyuhyun is mad because Jongwoon will understand it. It doesn’t matter if Kyuhyun is confused because Jongwoon will understand it. It doesn’t matter if Kyuhyun hates Jongwoon know, because no matter how it hurts even only thinking about it, Jongwoon knows and Jongwoon understands. He wants Kyuhyun to ask, to confront him with answers and to ask him anything, everything. But Kyuhyun only stands there, looking impassive at Jongwoon before he looks down, turns around and walk away.