Jongwoon doesn’t find Kyuhyun or his parents at home.

Now, Jongwoon is sure that something is definitely up. He tries calling Kyuhyun’s phone, even though the only number Kyuhyun still has on him is him as Yesung. But who cares about that now, anyway? Jongwoon needs to know Kyuhyun is safe. He thinks he’s going crazy just thinking about his mother and his father with Kyuhyun. He tries calling Kyuhyun’s phone over and over again, but there’s no answer. Then, he tries calling his parents. They aren’t answering as well.

He knows it’s extremely stupid but he runs through the neighborhood and hopes that he’ll find any sign of his parents or Kyuhyun. It’s not good for Jongwoon’s heart, stressing his mind and most especially, his body like that. He doesn’t even notice himself breathing heavily from time to time. He’s not aware of himself anymore. The only thing that’s on his mind is Kyuhyun, Kyuhyun, Kyuhyun.

If it goes on, not only can he not save Kyuhyun but he’ll also endanger himself.

He pauses and sits on the bench in the park, not because he wants to but because his body can’t allow him to run aimlessly anymore. It’s even possible that he can just faint there without anybody seeing him and die. Well, maybe Jongwoon knows that. Maybe Jongwoon is aware of that. But Kyuhyun comes first.

He tries to stop his panting. It’s about two hours since Kyuhyun said he’ll get something to drink. It’s about two hours since Kyuhyun has gone missing.

Suddenly, Jongwoon’s phone rings. It’s his father.

“Hello? Appa?” Jongwoon knows it’s not good to confront someone over the phone because the person on the other line can easily lie, or deny, or hang up. But even so, he asks even before his father could say a word, “Where’s Kyuhyun?”

Jongwoon may not be sure of many things, but he knows his parents more than anybody. He knows what they’re capable of, what they can do, and to what extent they can go because ‘it’s that boy’s – or rather, it’s Kyuhyun’s fault that their precious daughter Hyesung died.’

There’s a thick silence.

“So, you do know that kid?” Jongwoon’s father asks.

“What do you mean ‘I do know that kid’? He’s noona’s friend! He’s noona’s only friend!” Jongwoon answers, clearly exasperated. If his parents already knows about Kyuhyun, as a matter of fact, Jongwoon suspects, everything about Kyuhyun, there’s no point in denying or playing dumb anymore. “He’s my friend.”

“He’s the reason Hyesung died,” Jongwoon father says, in a tone of voice Jongwoon almost never hears.

“The only reason Hyesung-noona died is because it’s her time, appa.”

“That’s not true! She could have proceeded with the surgery! She could have gotten your kidney!”

Right, Jongwoon thinks, she could have gotten my kidney, like that’s what she ing wants, like she wants to go through another surgery that’s supposed to keep her living but’s actually killing her. He knows they love her. So much, as a matter of fact. Doesn’t Jongwoon know that? Isn’t he a witness of that all his life? But at this point, there’s just too much going on already and Jongwoon doesn’t know if he could hold everything anymore.

It’s a weird analogy, but Jongwoon thinks he’s like a sponge, absorbing everything, from his parents loss and rejection of the fact that their child, their daughter is already gone, with Kyuhyun and the reason why he became Yesung, because Kyuhyun needs him as Yesung, with Sooyoung and Joohyun, and although Jongwoon loves all these people with all his heart and he’ll honestly do everything for them, there’s just so much a heart – an impaired heart, as a matter of fact – can hold for such a long time.

And Jongwoon is tired. He just wants to let it all out for once, for the sponge to get gripped and everything in it would flow and hopefully, set Jongwoon free.

He just wants peace, with his sister’s death, with his identity to Kyuhyun, and with his parents.

That’s not too much to ask, right?

“Hyesung-noona was ready, appa,” Jongwoon says.

His father is silent.

“She was ready. She knows it’s time for her already. Kyuhyun has nothing to do with the fact that she died. He was her friend, yes. And as young as he was, he showed her how to live fully, with no regrets, to dance like no one is watching, to sing like no one is listening, to love with everything she had, completely. It wasn’t his fault Hyesung-noona died, appa. He made her happy, even though they were the last of her days, her painful days. Kyuhyun made it a lot less painful. Hyesung-noona died because it’s time and she was ready for it. She died, but at least, she died happy.”

“That’s not…”

“That’s the truth, appa,” Jongwoon says firmly. He knows it’s hard for his father to hear this, even harder for his mother to accept, but they need to know the truth.

I’m sorry, noona. They deserve to know the truth.

“That’s not true! Stop this nonsense, Jongwoon! This boy is the reason why Hyesung died. He showed her things… stupid things…”

“Things you’ll not understand, appa,” Jongwoon cuts his father, “Things you’ll never understand before because you didn’t want to. Hyesung-noona tried to tell you, both you and eomma. But you didn’t want to hear it, you didn’t want to listen because you didn’t want to know. That Hyesung-noona was ready… That she knows it was time…”

“Stop it, Jongwoon!” His father’s voice is loud, but it doesn’t sound a bit angry. In fact, it almost sounds like he’s pleading, for Jongwoon to stop talking and for Jongwoon to stop telling the truth because it hurts. It hurts so bad.

“I know you loved her so much, appa,” Jongwoon continues, tightly gripping his phone against his ear. It hurts him to hear his father’s voice like that, crumbling, almost like shattering, but this needs to be said and this needs to be heard. “I know you still love her. But Hyesung-noona, she’s gone, appa. She’s gone. But I’m still here. I know you’ll never love me as much as you love noona and it’s okay. It’s okay, appa. I know it, I understand it, I accept it. It’s okay. But if you do something bad to Kyuhyun, if you do something bad to Kyuhyun, I swear, appa, you haven’t just lost Hyesung-noona. I swear, you’ll lose me, too. I swear, appa. If something bad happens to Kyuhyun…”

It’s not really a threat. Jongwoon loves his parents, but he also can’t let anything happen to Kyuhyun.

“Hyesung-noona loved Kyuhyun,” Jongwoon says. “If you really – Appa, if you really love Hyesung-noona,” it’s not even Jongwoon, “you will not hurt him.”

Jongwoon is still tightly holding his phone against his ear, waiting for his father’s response when the line goes dead. His father hangs up on him. He slowly drops his arm he doesn’t realize is trembling. There’s nothing more he can do except pray to all heavens that Kyuhyun and his parents be safe. He can only hope that his father will understand him and Hyesung.

It’s uncalled for and he is certainly not someone Jongwoon is expecting as company, still trying to even his breathing and calm his fast-beating heart.

“Kim Jongwoon… Yesung… Hyesung…”

Unsurprisingly, Jongwoon only stares blankly at the said person.

“Lee Sungmin. How long have you known?”

“I’ve had my suspicions since the ball. Yesung? Hyesung? I wasn’t sure if I heard it right back then.”

“And now?”

“It’s all you. They’re all you.”

It strikes Jongwoon that Sungmin already knows everything. He sighs and stands up from the park bench. Sungmin is still standing a few meters away from him but he can see Sungmin’s clenched hands and furrowed eyebrows. He can’t blame him but he’s afraid that’s how Kyuhyun will react as well, the moment he’ll know.

“I saw Kyuhyun getting pushed inside a car, unconscious. You know who got him, right?”

“Yes,” Jongwoon answers truthfully.

“Then why the aren’t you doing anything?!”

“It’s my parents.”

Sungmin stares at him. He knows that Jongwoon has been both Yesung and Hyesung. But he doesn’t know everything, yet. He’s angry because it seems like Jongwoon isn’t doing anything when Kyuhyun seems to be in danger, but he realizes it’s not really a great feeling to know that your own parents kidnapped someone very important to you, too. Suddenly, he feels sorry for confronting Jongwoon like that. He might be sick worried of Kyuhyun, but Sungmin isn’t insensitive. If there’s anything, Sungmin is not insensitive.

Jongwoon’s phone suddenly vibrates.

It’s his father and he sent his son an address.

“Let’s go, Sungmin,” Jongwoon says, without much information. Sungmin looks up at him again, a little confused, but runs after Jongwoon when Jongwoon continues, “Let’s get Kyuhyun.”