(Play either one of these songs(K or M your choice!) (M has more feel cuz Jongdae's the one singing he he, just saying ^_^) while reading the chapter~~~)


20th September 2011

"I stare at my walls,
At first glance, all appears well.
But inside, I cry"

I don't usually do this. I hate telling people how I'm feeling. But I just feel like I had to today.

I like him. And you know it. Before, I've said that he had given me a letter where he confessed his feelings. But eotokkhe? Am I fooled like how Ah Young said? He acts as if I'm invisible whenever not far apart. What exactly is he regarding me as? And what's his purpose of sending me that letter in the first place? Countless of times, I asked myself. If he asked me to forget him and forget about the letter, why am I stupidly wishing that things would change for the better? Why am I holding on to the feelings when I know that I've been fooled? It's because I'm stupid. And ugly. He fooled me because he knows that I can easily take it and get over it because of the many times I've been bullied by the other students. Is this how he's treating me after all that I did? But there's still a small part of me, believing that he's doing this because he has his reasons why. I can't tell whether the reason is good or bad. But all i know is that, my heart tells me to keep going.

FLASHBACK
Mi Hyun was searching for books related to her project in the library. As she was slowly removed one of the books from the shelves, there he was, a perfect figure standing on one leg, resting his body against one of the shelves. He was wearing big geeky-looking spectacles, he looks exactly like a bookworm.


Mi Hyun quickly put back the book and turned away. She took a deep breath as she leaned against the bookshelves.


*coughs* *coughs*


She heard a loud cough, pretty sure the sound came from the shelf right behind the one she was leaning onto.


"Gwaenchan....ha?" Mihyun asked.


She shut her eyes, hoping she would hear a familiar voice replying her.


"Oh Mi..... Hyun??"


"Ne." She quietly replied.
 

"Oh. Gwaenchanha. Don't worry about me."


Mi Hyun and Jongdae communicated  without looking but just hearing each other's voices. The bookshelf was blocking the two.


Just after the reply, sounds of footsteps were heard. But slowly, the sound of it gets softer and softer until it stopped completely.


'Should I or should I not?' Mi Hyun asked her little heart. She knew he had already went off.


Without hesitant, she ran towards the exit of the library, leaving the books she carried on an empty shelf. She searched everywhere for him, only to find him almost making his way to the gents.

"JONGDAE OPPA......." Mi hyun called out, panting as she stopped running.


Jongdae stopped. He had both of his hands in the pocket of his pants, but he didn't turn himself to face Mi Hyun.


*breathes in and out*


"What about............." she paused before continuing.


"The letter?"

*breathes in*


"Ah the letter? I am still........ I am still thinking of how I should reply to that."


"After 2 weeks, you're still saying you're thinking of how you should reply the letter? That's just...."


"Oh Mi Hyun, let's just...... let's just stop everything. Let's pretend you never received that letter that day arrasso? I'm sorry. But it's going to be better. For the both of us" Jongdae cuts Mi Hyun who was just about to finish her sentence.


"Geurae...... Thanks....... Oppa. Thanks for everything." Mi Hyun said to Jongdae in disappointment and sadness. Her voice was shaking, so obvious that she was going to break into tears anytime soon.


Jongdae made his way to the toilet, trying to avoid the awkwardness between the both of them. But he was leaning against the wall inside the toilet all alone. And he heard the sound of Mi Hyun sobbing.


"Mianhae Mi Hyun-nie. Oppa is really sorry to have made things turn ugly....." he closed his eyes while clenching his teeth, feeling guilty over what happened.
END OF FLASHBACK

After that very day, Mi Hyun only put Chen at the back of her mind, reminding herself that he should not be affecting her. Nobody ever noticed her carrying a sad expression. Nobody knew what went wrong. Because each time, she faked her smile around the people who cares just to not make them worry about her.


As for Jongdae, he moved on from that day. But what the EXO members and everyone else didn't know was that he's always looking out for Mi Hyun, carefully watching her from afar. At times, he felt like he should just go to her and comfort her. But he doesn't allow himself to do that.


A few days later, Mi Hyun mom went into her room to clean up the mess. It's very unusual for her mom to do that but that very day, she voluntarily clean for her one and only daughter who has been tired from studying for her major exams.


As she was clearing the textbooks on top of her study table, she noticed the notebook she had given her for her birthday last year. Curious, she took it out to look through the things she had written inside it. While flipping through the pages to read its content as she sat by the corner of her daughters' bed, she started tearing. Diary entries of Mi Hyun made her realised how much her daughter has been suffering
in high school.


"15th July 2011

How many times have I faked a smile so that people woudn't notice that I'm crying right inside? I may always appear tough, and cool about the nasty things those evil human beings said about me. But what if they were to be in my shoes and go through the exact same thing I'm going through? They'd be crying so hard trying to withstand all those jokes people make about them."


"29th July 2011

I wonder how is it like making fun of people. I've never tried though. Must be a fun thing to do! It's okay, I'm used to this! I just have to accept the fact that I'm surrounded by superficial people who probably have the mindset of a 5 year-old... who finds nothing but joy in making fun of others ^_^ Ah-young ah, you never know how thankful I am towards you for standing by my side all the time..... Afterall, without you, who else do I have in school anyway? "


"28th August 2011

Today, someone whom I have liked for a long time made his confession through a letter. It was cute n_n Kim Jongdae ㅋㅋㅋㅋ nado neoreul saranghaeyo! I'm going to your matches from now on oppa! I'm going to give you my 100% support jjang!!!

P.s/ School isn't that bad afterall isn't it?? "


Mi Hyun's mother reads her diary entries until the last one that she  updated on the 20th September. Her mom's heart hurt when she finds out how much pain her daughter has been suffering and tolerating from school. She wiped away the tears that flowed uncontrollably down her cheeks with the back of her hand. 


Just then, an idea that she has never thought of popped up inside her head. She took her handphone right beside her and dialled a number. 

*rings* *rings*


The calls couldn't get through so she had to dial the number many times. But she patiently waited for someone to answer her call. After 5 rings at her 6th time calling, finally.


"Annyeonghasaeyeo?" A female voice could be heard. 


"Hee Sun?" 


" Yah Hee Jin unnie!!! What's up? You haven't been calling me aishhhhhh. Nomu nomu bogoshipda! What is it that you want unnie??"


"Help me Hee Sun-ah. Please help me" Mi Hyun's mother broke down into tears again.
 

Next Chapter teaser:
Who is Hee Sun and how can she help Mi Hyun???
What will Jongdae do next?
And who is Yura really?

A/N:
I hope this is a good one. This story must have disappointed you guys so much. Well, that are my thoughts. Because the chapters are like one disappointment leads to the other. But I promise you the story would be satisfying if you keep reading yeah?  I have already planned the plot and everything! You guys need to read about how he's going to win her heart.... slowwwwwwly he he he