~Yuna~

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The silence after that he had left was terrible. None of the guys said anything and neither did I. I wasn't really sure if I was ashamed of myself for going behind his back, or if I just did it because I cared. Of course it was still wrong for not telling him but.. I didn't..and we weren't.. an item then. And now?

This wasn't how he was suppose to find out. I was planning on telling him so I don't understand how the time managed to pass me so quickly.

I didn't dare to look at the guys, knowing that they were probably backing up JaeJoong, I just lied down again and closed my eyes as I started to concentrate on my deep breathing. How am I suppose to tackle this? I know that he needed me to be there tomorrow but his stubborness and also him being angry with me, was keeping me away from the pressconference.

"Yuna.." Changmin mumbled

I didn't respond

"We uhm.. Just.. found out.. about .. uhh.. his mother. He told us not too long ago that he found out that you had paid his mother a visit behind his back" Changmin said

"You.. shouldn't be mad at him.. he's probably.. shocked" Yunho said

"I'm not mad at him" I said and sat up again

The guys looked at me

"I just don't know if I'm wrong or right at the moment" I mumbled

"You were wrong, no doubt about that" Yoochun said

"How am I wrong Yoochun?" I asked

"You went behind his back, walked into a private area which he hadn't have the opportunity to open up for you yet. You gave him no choice when you took it into your own hands.." Yoochun said wisely

"He.. do has a point there" Junsu agreed

I stayed silent as I was listening to my own heartbeats, the clock ticking and just.. waiting for JaeJoong to come back. Almost half an hour past but there was still no sign of him.

Suddenly a beeping was heard and Yunho took out his cellphone and flicked it open. After a minute, when he was finished texting he closed it and looked at us, somehow avoiding my gaze

"Jae left. He got an urgent phone call and returned to the office" Yunho said

Well.. that was somehow expected wasn't it ?

"I think we should go back too. We.. have lots of things to prepare for the conference tomorrow" Yoochun said

"Okay" I responded emotionless

"I'm staying here" Changmin said

I looked up surprised and Changmin turned around and smiled at me warmly

"She probably needs a ride home if the doctor discharge her" Changmin said

"Hmm.. Maybe I can stay too.. I.." Junsu started

"No there's no need. Jae can need all help that he can get. I'll stay here and I'll be back at the office later. Just call me if there's anything okay?" Changmin said

"Are you sure?" Junsu asked

He nodded

I felt somewhat relieved because it felt like I was being accused of something that had an dilemma, I was both right and wrong in my doing of going behind Jae's back but.. it wasn't meant to hurt him or lying to him..

The guys soon left after giving me a hug and giving me a quick peck on my forehead.

Changmin said that he was going to get the doctor and to see if I had to be kept here for observation.

As soon as Changmin left, I took the decision in my own hands and went inside the bathroom in order to change. I didn't want to stay and I refuse to let JaeJoong leave me like that. I had to speak to him. I just had to make him realize that all I wanted was the best for him and not myself..

When I stepped outside Changmin looked at me with a raised eyebrow and a surprised expression

"Okaaaaaay... I haven't even told you that you were discharged but.. you're already changed and ready to go?" He asked

"I just refuse to stay here. There are way too many things that is going on right now" I mumbled as I walked over to the chair to get my jacket

"Yuna" Changmin grabbed my arm

"No Changmin. I don't really care about my health or anything at the moment. It's JaeJoong okay. It's always JaeJoong and he comes first in everything that I do" I said sadly

"I know, that's why I chose to stay behind in order to talk to you" Changmin said softly

I looked up at him as he smiled warmly at me

"I know that it wasn't you intention to go behind his back because that's not you. Now, if you sign this paper I will be able to take you home and I know that JaeJoong is at the office so we can stay at Jae's place and talk"

About an hour later, with the papers signed and us getting through the crowd with paparazzis and also, us managed to get through the silence during the drive in the car, we were finally home. Changmin said that he was going to ask the chef to make some soup and food for us and suggested that I might as well go and take a shower before we sit down and talk.

I tried hard, thinking what I should say to him because in one way or another, I knew that he was going to understand me. But I wasn't sure of he really understood me or Jae. He knew JaeJoong better than me, and somehow knew me better than the rest of the guys but was he really able to understand my thoughts.. my actions?

While brushing my hair, walking out from the bathroom, dressed in warm pants and a tee with a black sweater on, I suddenly heard Changmin coming through the door with a tray, smiling happily at me

"Uhm.. I just thought that we could stay here?" He said

I shrugged

"I don't mind"

I sat down as he poured me some water and I looked at him confusingly as he was happily serving me

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because I wonder too" Changmin said

"Wonder what?"

"How did you find out about his mother? And exactly how.. did you.. No.. I mean WHY did you visit her?"

"I.. happened.. to find.. a paper in JaeJoong's room by accident one day.. when I was looking for him. The paper was on the floor.. somewhat hidden under the bedsheet. I picked it up, just planning on putting it on his nightdesk but my eyes just caught the sight of the word Alzheimers and I instantly got worried and confused and so I started to read it..."

"Oh.. so he had a document?"

"Yes but the weird thing was that it didn't say the patient's name. Just the adress. With the curiosity of mine, I couldn't help but worry and so I copied the adress, took a cab and somehow got myself there, worried that it could be JaeJoong" I mumbled

"And it turned out to be his mother" Changmin stated

"Yes.. and I was shocked to hear that JaeJoong... has never paid his mother a visit.. Not even once"

"Understandable" Changmin mumbled as he scratched the back of his head

"Understandable? How in the world is that understandable Changmin?! That's his mother, the person who gave him life!"

"But probably regretted it since she abandon him" Changmin said sarcastically

"She .. what?" I stuttered

"I don't know much about it.. and not so very detailed since.. JaeJoong avoids and kind of talk with his family" Changmin said

"He says nothing at all? He doesn't have a family at all?" I whispered

"He does.. and that's us"

"What.. happened?"

"It's very blurry, I heard it from Yunho. His father left after knowing he was the father to Jae.. and his mother abandon him on the streets when he was 10. Yunho also mentioned something about he was taken in and soon got into a fosterhome"

"True.. My home"

I looked up to see Yunho standing in the doorway with a bag, which looked like medicine. He closed the door behind and walked over to us.

"I uhm.. brought medicine and other things that you might need" He smiled and put the bag on the floor. I wasn't surprised that he was here since I was shocked over the story that Changmin was telling

"Uh Hyung! Now that you're here you can tell her about it" Changmin said

Yunho shrugged and scratched the back of his head

"Well.. he wasn't taken in by my family.. my parents but by my aunt. My aunt had a hard time to conceive a child and since JaeJoong kept running away from the house for abandoned children, orphanages, I decided to help him since Jae was my best friend. They didn't adopt him, just took care of him. He had a tough childhood, and whenever he got into troubles, he always solved it himself. He even helped me to stay out of trouble" Yunho said

"So he just lived there? Your uncle and aunt took care of him?"

"Well not really.. Jae refused to acknowledge them as his guardians and not to mention that he hated it at first. But he soon realized that this was an opportunity for him to start a new life. So he made a deal. He would only stay if he could pay rent. He refused to be treated as a child and they weren't allowed to into his businesses"

"That was pretty harsh conditions" I mumbled

"Well Jae had already been living on streets for a few years so he said that he wouldn't hesitate or even blink if he were forced to go out on the streets again"

"His stubborness has always been there huh?" I mumbled

"Yes. But whenever we were hanging out, he was the best friend ever. We had fun and he was so awesome in so many things. And we soon enough discovered his love for designing" Yunho smiled

"How did that start?" I asked

"Well I knew that he loved to draw but one day I was browsing through his sketchbook and found him drawing some weird things and soon found out it was clothes. Yoochun who was at the time studying at a musical and art school was over and he saw the sketchbook with me and he said that Jae was a natural born talent"

"Awesome" Changmin smiled

"Since I was in Law school I didn't know what I could do to help him but Yoochun did. Yoochun was majoring in art and design and even attended some music courses and Jae was hard to convince at first but soon enough gave in when Yoochun had convinced the teacher and the principal about his talent. So he got into the fashion and design department but also attended the same music courses as Yoochun"

"And through music he met Junsu" Changmin said

"And how did he meet you?" I asked

"THe gym" Changmin shrugged

"The.. gym? Out of all places?" I said and started to laugh

"Well.. he must have realized that he needs some strength and a good body to get somewhere in life. So Yunho brought him to the gym and we trained together"

"And you've been together ever since?"

"Yup" Yunho smiled

"No wonder he cherish you, you practically saved his life"

"Well not really, he was always independent and always doing whatever he wanted himself.. but of course sometimes he was vulnerable as well. He's a hard nut to crack but once you're able too, he won't let you out again" Yunho said

"JaeJoong has invested his life into designing and Mirotic and he even helps my aunt and uncle now. He gives them some money every now and then. He doesn't say it and he doesn't show it but I think he learned how to love them from a distance" YUnho said

"And his mother?"

"Well.. she abandoned him. And when she then heard about her biological son's success she looked for him" Yunho said

"And.. then what?"

"Easy, he turned his back on her just like she had done to him" Yunho said, shrugging as if it was nothing

"You make it sound so.. easily done. As if Jae didn't feel anything at all"

"Why would he? She abandon him, not otherwise" Changmin said

"But hate.. is so.. awful. So.. much energy are being put into hating instead of understanding and forgiving" I said

"I think those scars are way too deep in order to be healed" Yunho said

"But he should have given her a chance.."

"How was he suppose to do that when he had nothing left of her? No happy memories, no sacrifices that she had done for him?" Yunho said

"But.. it's still .. wrong" I said sadly

"Jae is filled with hate, of course he is. He wouldn't?" Changmin said

"Anyway, he turned his back on her and after several attempts of approching him, she then stopped since she failed everytime. Jae knew she only wanted his money. But after a few months, she was diagnosed with Alzheimers and not even then did Jae lift a finger. How many times hasn't he been sick and his mother hasn't been there to care for him?"

I shook my head in devastation

"But then a letter came from the hospital. She needed money for the hospital bills, the room that she needed in order to have people care for her and all the small details that she also needed while having this disease" Yunho said

"He's paying for them?" Changmin asked Yunho, even him was immersed into this story now

"No matter how much hate he had and how much pain he had gone through, not even Jae can be that cold hearted" Yunho said

"So he paid for everything?" Changmin asked

"Yes. Thankful to his mother for carrying him, going through the pain to bring him to this world; yes he pays everything and he still does. But he couldn't find himself to pay her a visit" Yunho said

"I know.. they told me that at the hospital that he's mother is staying at" I said

"This is a .. sensitive.. An extreme sensitive subject to JaeJoong and unless he brings it up himself, you shouldn't" Yunho warned

"He has to open up something. For how long was he planning on carrying that hate? It's not worth it anymore.. She's dying!"

"Maybe it's better this way.. Why does it have to matter? His mother has forgotten him anyway" Yunho said

I stood up and finally the tears was bursting out, the tears that I've been holding in for so long

"She has a picture of him in her room"

The silence was enough for me to know that the guys were shocked

"What did you say?" Yunho said, standing up

I spun around and looked at them

"She has a picture of him. And not only a picture.. even an compatilation of his success as a designer.." I said

"Impossible" Yunho said

"It's true. I saw it. I was there"

"Does Jae Know?" Changmin asked

I shook my head

"Apparently not.. if you judge by the story Yunho just told"

"Oh crap" Yunho cursed

"So.. Alzheimers huh? No wonder he was taking that examination" Changmin said

I stared at Changmin shockingly

"What examination?"

Yunho looked at me as well

"Uhm... Jae asked me to get the hospital on th eline since he had to book some kind of examination. I was worried that he was sick but I never thought it would be something serious like this.. Does it mean that he might have gotten him tested for the illness?" Changmin asked

"possibly" Yunho said

I covered my mouth and nose in astonishment as I cried harder

"Yuna.." Yunho said and hurried over to me, embracing me

"What do I do if he has it?" I sobbed

"He won't.. He don't have it" Changmin said and tapped me on my shoulder

"Let's just hope" Yunho said and hugged me

I pulled away from Yunho, taking a deep breath as I looked at both of them

"I need to talk to him.." I said

"Well you won't be able now.. he's at a meeting" Yunho said

"I don't think he will talk to you now either" Changmin said

"I know.. That's why.. I'm planning to do it somehow .. that he can't refuse me.." I said determined..