[Current timeline: still the same day―111025]

Leeteuk’s P.O.V [SURPRISE, SURPRISE!!! Tell me what you think about it, ok? /kisses/]

I should have not gone on this vacation. Stupid Jung Soo. Stupid, stupid Jung Soo!!!

Now I was the one who regretted in vain. Hhh. Just because In Young noona forced me to take Umma to a trip, it did not mean that I had to do it. She knew how awkward I was with my own biological parents, or in other words, her parents as well. What did I mean by ‘awkward’, you asked? Well, I myself still found it hard to explain. Something happened long, long time ago, and everything simply changed. Changed, just like that. The condition refused to go back to how it used to be. The harsh, discouraging words, the intimidating stares, the disgusted scowls. As I grew up, circumstances became less tense than before. But the thick, nonexistent wall was always there. It never left us. Or maybe we were plainly unwilling to break the wall down.

Going in this vacation with Umma, Donghae and Donghae’s mother was an absolute torture for me. The differences between me and Donghae could clearly be seen, and I felt so intimidated. My dongsaeng was a lovable kid, every parent simply wished to have a son like him. I guessed Umma did the same too. Haha. Donghae... Ever since we arrived here in Saipan, he kept forcing me to do various kind of activities with him; playing on the beach, swimming in the hotel’s pool, taking a sip of traditional drink, watching the local dance performance―and please bear in mind, it happened in a day. Or less. The kid surely had so much energy. While on the other hand, I was tired. Exhausted. Worn out. And I knew that he was trying too hard to convince me, and himself, that going on a vacation with this stupid hyung of his could be as fun as Hyukjae’s family trip to Europe. I just hated how Donghae was totally oblivious to my feelings―that I felt like being used, that spending some time with me was not as fun and exciting as being with Hyukjae, his best friend.

To make it even worse, Donghae clung to his mother and MY Umma all the time. Again, made it too obvious for all of us to see how I was so wicked compared to our King of Tears. Ugh. I wished I was in Korea, contentedly cuddling with my baby in the sofa, stealing lots of kisses from her. The idea was far more thrilling and electrifying than having to follow Donghae around because both of our mothers said, “Keep an eye on your brother! We don’t want him do something stupid like knocking on all doors in this hotel or attempting to do free-diving just because he thinks he’s naturally a fish!”

I swore to Shisus I loved Lee Donghae, but sometimes the kid only added the (already) heavy weight on my shoulders rather than helping me to get rid of the pain. Tired, I was tired from all that had happened in the past few days. We barely had time to sleep and Donghae should have known how sensitive and pathetic I was when tiredness got the worst of me.

“Jung Soo hyung! JUUUUUUNG SOOOOOO HYUUUUUUUNG! Come here now, ppaliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~”

Dammit. I only left him for a short thirty minutes to refresh my mind and body by taking a shower, and when I got out of the bathroom, the first thing I faced was a wailing, too excited Donghae.

“Shut up, Donghae-ya. I’m so tired, not in the mood to play with you.” My heart squirmed as I said that. There, I finally said that I was tired. But something still did not feel right.

In spite of being terribly shocked by my cold response, the young male feebly tried once again. “But hyung, it’s―”

“You ruined my mood with that high-pitched, squeaking voice of yours; I’m leaving to the beach.”

I usually was not so hard and harsh on Donghae. I knew I did not possess the best quality and personality of a human being, I even had that cold side of me; but I barely used that tone and facial expression while dealing with Donghae. That was not exactly me. That was mix of so many reasons; longing, ache, fatigue, stress.

Here I was, sitting alone on the sand under the shining moonlight, with the sight of the beach right in front of me. Despite the tranquility of the current atmosphere, my head was spinning and my heart was hurting.

I missed my baby.

When was the last time we talked on the phone? Two? Three days ago? I cursed myself for not being strong enough to stay up late during the night, so then I could call her when it was daytime in Seoul. It was not the matter of time difference; I was the one to blame, I could not even put up with the pressure, the hectic schedule and the exhaustion. I was too absorbed with my work that when it was time to rest, instead of calling her, I immediately fell asleep without even having the thoughts of her crossing my mind.

Now I had the time to actually call her, but a part of me had already felt so ashamed to do so. My baby was always understanding and she always forgave me every time I made mistakes that it was now really shameful for me to still face her after creating one more problem in our relationship.

Our relationship. Relationship. Romantic relationship.

A smile appeared on my face as I repeated those words in my mind. Just by thinking about it, I got that tingling, fluffy sensation inside me. She warmed my heart, giving me lots of newly experienced feelings. It felt a lot like my teenage years; the only differences were my genuineness and my willingness to take it seriously. This was not puppy love―I got over that phase long time ago. But the effect it brought to me was kind of similar.

Frustrating part was, as this ‘romantic relationship’ was a serious one, I finally took everything too seriously. And in the end, I hurt her a lot. I hurt her a lot. I took a lot and gave her nothing but my poisoning love, insecurity, distrust and possessiveness. I made mistakes, and she forgave me. I went ape, still she took me back.

The smile on my face went away, replaced by a gloomy facial expression. I was feeling remorseful, and yet, I still did not exactly know what I should do. This other part of me was tired, too tired to think and figure things out. I let so many things unsaid, so many emotions unspoken, so many problems untouched. I just did not feel like calling her right now. It was not a secret that I had such unstable mood and turned grumpy, cranky and sulky all the time. I had always thought it was the result of annoyance, tiredness and lack of sleep. Weird, uh? Considering the fact that I had been in this industry for almost six years...plus five years of the training part. I should have gotten used to the never ending tension. But after all that, still I could not manage to bear it.

“Hyung,” a voice called me, and I felt a touch on my right shoulder. “Hyung, it’s time for dinner.”

I heaved an inaudible sigh and followed Donghae back to the hotel.

--

Our mothers sat across us. The waiters put a plate of creamy pasta I ordered on the table. “Ouch,” I suddenly winced; not obvious enough for people to notice, not loud enough for people to hear. Ouch, I mentally groaned once again. There was an excruciating pain in my head. I blinked once... twice... and the ache disappeared just like that. Damn, must be because of the stress.

“Jung Soo-ya, gwaenchana?” Umma asked. Huh? HUH? I looked up and saw three pairs of eyes looking straight back at me.

Taking a sip of mineral water in invisible nervousness, I nodded. “Yes, I am okay.” The dinner went back to normal.

They happily ate the delicious dish while chatting, commenting on how handsome and cool Donghae had become over the years. Nobody seemed to notice the hurricane inside my heart. I glanced at the male beside me. He was making funny faces to entertain the mothers.

“Aw Donghae, you’re so lovely like a child,” Umma said in awe. “It’s sometimes a pity that all of you are celebrities. I want to have grandchildren soon...”

UHUUK. UHUUK. I magnificently choked on the food. Donghae immediately patted my back, handing me a glass of water hurriedly. “Ah hyung, be careful.”

How could I be careful? Did he not hear what my mother said just now?!

“Donghae is still too young to get married and have kids,” Donghae’s mother commented, continuing the previous conversation. “Aren’t you, Donghae-ya?”

The said kid pouted and protested, “Umma! I’m 26 year old! Twenty! Six!”

“Twenty six minus twenty, that’s your real age, Donghae-ya,” Donghae’s mother continued to son.

I shook my head. “A normal 26 year old man does not watch Finding Nemo every weekend, nor cry every time staring out the window, looking at the crescent moon…”

Donghae’s cheeks puffed and turned red, so red like tomatoes. “You get married then hyung!”

“Jung Soo is now cast of We Got Married, right?” Donghae’s mother asked, looking at me. I gently nodded. “Be a good husband for your virtual wife!”

Feeling so shy, I rubbed the back of my neck furiously. My eyes caught Umma looking at me. Her tense stare seemed to scream, “You’ll never be good enough.” But I shrugged it off.

“Oh, and it can also teach hyung how to treat his current girlfriend when they get married later,” Donghae innocently said. “Eh, did I say something wrong?”

Can I just punch him? Damaging that pretty, smiling face a bit? I swear my punch is not strong, at least not as strong as Kangin’s.

I looked at the remaining pasta on my plate, gritting my teeth. Fists had turned into balls, but I still kept my outer appearance calm.

“Wow, unnie, Jung Soo has girlfriend?!” Donghae’s mother shrieked in surprise and happiness. Wow Donghae, thank you so much.

“Jung Soo-ya, look at me,” Umma strictly instructed. I followed her order and when her eyes met mine, she continued, “Are you in a relationship right now?” . I could not lie to Umma, I never did. But the current situation was... OUCH. My head... Despite the sharp, ferocious attack striking my head, I still looked cool. But ugh, my head. The pain lasted for a few seconds, longer than the previous one. I tightened my grip on the eating utensils until my knuckles turned white.

“Umma, Aunty, Donghae-ya, please excuse me for a while. Just a while. I need to go to the toilet,” I said with a broken smile on my face.

Not even waiting for their response, I left the table hurriedly. I guessed I heard Donghae uttering something like, “You’re only avoiding the marriage issue, hyung.” Man, he was lucky that I did not punch him yet for spilling my relationship with ______ in front of my mother. He was lucky because I was too tired to argue, and despite explaining it to the confused elders, I ran back to the hotel suite I shared with Donghae, taking the medicine my doctor had specially given to me and soon as the drugs reacted, I peacefully dozed.

--

[The same day, somewhere in Seoul]

Your P.O.V

Minho and I sat next to each other with my mother sitting facing us. We uncomfortably shifted in our seats. Mom looked kind of mad, she did not exactly expect to go home and find her pubescent daughter hugging a beautiful stranger in her kitchen, with a plate of freshly baked apple pie on the dining table. However, although her face hinted a slight hint of anger, I knew she was really, I repeat really, and utterly happy to see me with a guy, or according to her mind―which I could perfectly read―her promising son-in-law.

“Good evening, Ma’am,” Minho politely said, breaking the quiet and cold atmosphere surrounding us three with that light, warm voice of his. He gave my mother one of his infamously beautiful smiles and I could tell that she was no longer tense. She was delighted, thrilled and contented. “My name is Choi Minho. I am your daughter’s friend. Nice to meet you,” he continued in flawless English. But wait, did Minho just say that his name was Minho? Aargh, I forgot to tell him...

“What?” Mom’s eyebrows slightly creased. “Aren’t you the one who often drops ______ home? I thought ______ said that your name was... I forgot, but it didn’t start with Choi.”

Woo yeaaaah, she forgot Jung Soo’s name! I was safe!

“Ah, you probably mistook...”

“It’s Minho, Mom. You just forgot... He’s the one whom I usually hang out with,” I snappishly cut Minho, not giving the guy a chance to spill that name in front of my mother.

Mom radiantly smiled, looking so pleased. “He’s your boyfriend then?” Oh dayum man, I forgot that she actually thought that Jung Soo, or now Minho, was my boyfriend! Why did it never cross my mind that she could have eventually met one of them?!

Minho awkwardly giggled. “Aw no, Ma’am. We’re close, but not in a romantic way.”

I added, “I said that only to please you, Mom. We’re not in such relationship...”

Mom let out a nonchalant chuckle, casually waving her right hand. “You youngsters tend to hide things like this from parents nowadays, don’t you?” She warmly smiled to Minho―not the kind of smile I usually got. “You’re a really nice person, Minho. How did you meet my daughter?”

“I am Ye Eun’s best friend and am also working under her father’s company. We met with the help of her,” Minho calmly said. He did not seem too bothered by the fact my mother was now almost positive that the two of us were dating.

Mom’s eyes widened, showing excitement and enthusiasm towards his explanation. “You’re working? I thought you were still at school!”

I lost count at how many times I had mentally facepalmed myself this evening.

“I am currently attending Film Major in Konkuk University, Ma’am. But I am also working...”

“Oh that must be very tiring, Minho,” Mom said in amazement. “How you manage to do so is very admirable. What do you do for living, if I may know?”

Before Minho answered, he quickly glanced at me, asking me if it was okay to tell her. I tiredly sighed. Lying would only make things even more complicated. She had misunderstood enough. “I am a member of Korea boy band named SHINee. I sing, dance and rap. Practicing and performing are my daily life is all about. I am also an actor and a model, Ma’am.” A proud, big smile appeared on his unblemished face.

Mom remained quiet for a moment, until she broke into another beaming, pleased smile. She clapped her hands once. “Ah! You’re an idol! Ye Eun’s father runs an entertainment company, I remembered. Wow, Minho, you’re a famous person!”

Minho let out a nervous laugh, shy at being said famous. “No... I am not as popular as my seniors, Ma’am. I still need to improve my ability in lots of fields.”

“Wow, you really are charming and reliable, Minho.” Mom’s eyes shone, clearly signifying how interested she had become. “So this relationship is a secret, isn’t it? I don’t think a young idol group member like you can go out in public, saying that you’re dating a girl, right Minho? That is kind of sad in a way, but as long as two people in the relationship are happy, that is actually really sweet. Just don’t hide it from parents, okay?” She looked at me, and I could only nod my head in defeat. “Minho, would you like to have dinner with our family? Next week is my birthday and we usually celebrate it by going to a restaurant and having a proper dinner. It’s just me, ______ and her father. I am sure if you come, it will be more exciting.”

What? Birthday dinner had always been private all this time. She never even allowed me to bring close friends, or dad, his business colleagues, to her birthday dinner. Ha, Minho had completely stolen her heart. She really liked the idea of me and the guy together. Gawd, no...

“I would love to, Ma’am!” Minho enthusiastically answered, oblivious to how important the dinner was. “I would love to celebrate your special day with your family.”

Another round of facepalms and disapproved, inaudible scowls.

“That’s good!” Mom exclaimed happily. “Okay, next Saturday, 7 p.m., I will confirm you the restaurant later through ______.”

Minho obediently nodded.

--

[Current timeline: 111026]

Leeteuk’s P.O.V

I woke up with a much better mood and less tired body. The light of the sun shone through the thin fabric of curtain, emitting pleasant warmth. I snuggled under my thick blanket, still unwilling to get out of the bed. The first thing coming up inside my mind this morning was, how I terribly wanted ______’s face to be the first face I could see when I opened my eyes...

Oh Jung Soo, you and your notoriously unstable mood... The mood that could easily change depending on the occurrence of exhaustion and presence of infuriation. Yesterday I was grouchy, today I only wanted to have fun with Donghae, and call my baby for hours―paying off the lack of communication that took place for the last few days.

I smiled again at the thoughts of ______. How was she these days? Did she manage to pass her English presentation about teen suicide rate? What would she like to have as a souvenir from Saipan? I did not buy her anything when I was back in New York, simply because I was too busy to even look for local merchandise. Did she go out with Ye Eun? If she did, where did she go? Did she eat well? Did she eat the vitamin I told her drink? Did she miss me? Terribly, like I did toward her?

I quickly got off of the bed and looked for my phone. Where did I put that gdamn phone, anyway? Ah, ah, in the bag! What... it’s not even on! I tried to turn it on but still it was dead. Oh... OOOOOOOH! The battery! Haha, Jung Soo you’re a real moron.

Giggling all the way through, I charged the battery of my phone and sat back on the bed. The situation was kind of weird. This was too quiet. I stared at the bed, and realized that Donghae was not around. Where is he?

Knock, knock. Just in time. Could that be Donghae? I dragged my body to the door and opened it.

“Jung Soo-ya.” My body instantly stiffened. I should have expected. “Jung Soo-ya, can I come in? We need to talk.”

Clumsily nodding my head, I opened the door wider to give Umma some space to walk in. “Yes, I guess...” Darn Jung Soo, what did you mean by ‘I guess’?!

Umma smiled a bit, and she came inside the suite. She sat on the sofa near the window.

“Um, wait for a moment, Umma.” I dashed to the bathroom, quickly splashing cold water onto my face and brushing my teeth in lightning speed.

When I got back to the room, I found Umma observing the ocean through the window. I cleared my throat in purpose and she turned her face to see me.

“You did not go back to dinner last night,” she said with a thin smile on her face.

“I found myself too tired to do so. I am sorry.”

She slightly scowled, not believing me. “This is the life that you chose, remember, Jung Soo?”

I wanted to reply her back so badly, but my voice would not go out. My throat seemed blocked by an enormous, suffocating obstacle. Her words stung the soft part of my heart. Why? “I...got it, Umma.” When I was finally able to utter something rational, I just had to sound as gruff as ever.

Umma let go of the sensitive topic and moved to the next one, arguably the real intention that made her bother enough to see me in my suite this early in the morning. “Are you seeing someone right now, Jung Soo?” She asked in such calm tone, delicate way, but her cold stare piercing down at me signaled that I better not lie to her.

Umma, why did you make it harder...? “Ye... Yes, Umma, I am.” My voice pathetically cracked. This was not exactly the first time I told her that I was dating a girl. What made the current situation bizarre was, even though nobody said it, both Umma and I knew that this was simply different.

Umma was really hard to please. I brought a girl home once, long, long time ago. It was only puppy love, yet she had to be so insensitive, telling me that meeting her was a waste of time. “Next time you bring a lady to see me, Jung Soo, make sure that she loves you for who you really are. And also remember, if you know that she is not good enough, don’t waste both of your and my time and energy to arrange this kind of meeting anymore” was what she said at that time.

“Son,” Umma’s cold yet warm voice snapped me back to present time. “Are you ready now?” She challenged me. “After all, in few more years, you need to settle, don’t you?”

Am I ready? Yes, of course I was ready to introduce my baby to Umma. What I was not ready was the rejection that would come after that.

There was no way that Umma would approve our relationship. ______ had not gone to college yet! How could I expect something from Umma, when I myself knew that this whole thing was wrong in a way?!

“Before you meet her, I just wanna let you know, Umma,” I paused for a moment, observing her reaction. She was looking at me too. Her lips formed a bored pout, but her eyes seemed to indicate some excitement over what I would say next. Despite her age, she was still lively, I could clearly see that. “This is not superficial love, Umma. I am mature enough to see and decide. However, loving her is not something that I decided to do. My heart chose her, and I did not intend to break up with her even though some people I love will probably have a hard time receiving her.”

“Wow, interesting.” To my surprise, that was Umma’s reaction. ‘Wow’ and ‘interesting’. Her tone did not seem fake and...that was really, wow, interesting. “I can’t wait to meet her.”

At this point I had no more sanity left to answer her.

“Next Saturday, 8 p.m., in our house? How does that sound, Jung Soo? Your father and I will be delighted to meet your girlfriend.”

Umma, are you even serious...?