Afraid To Lose You

Noona, I think I love you

Minhee’s pov:

I groaned as the first rays of sunlight started to seep through the window and shone on my face.

I reached out and grabbed my pillow without opening my eyes and buried my face in it.

“It’s probably still early…”

I thought to myself.

I was about to fall right back to sleep again when suddenly I remembered what happened last night.

Me pulling Yoongi onto the bed and kissing him and then me trying to take off his shirt….

My eyes shot open as I sat up in bed, looking around for any signs of Yoongi but he wasn’t anywhere in sight.

“Was it a dream?” I mumbled to myself, scratching my head.

“It can’t be…..it felt so real…”

“Aiiissshhh!!! Why did I get so drunk!!” I exclaimed frustratedly, covering my face with my hands and shaking it hard.

I threw off my blanket and got off the bed but as soon as my feet touched the floor my head started to ache.

I groaned as I held my forehead with my hand.

I wondered why people liked to drink so much….it felt terrible…and it didn't help at all! In fact, it made everything worse.

I stumbled to the bathroom as my eyes spotted Yoongi’s black backpack lying on the floor in my room.

He was here!

I quickly pulled open the door of my room without even bothering to wash my face.

My eyes widened as I walked out into the empty living room. There was the sweet aroma of soup boiling filling the entire house.

“Yoongi ah…” I mumbled, staring at his back against the stove of the kitchen.

“Oh, Noona…you’re up…I made you some hangover soup.” Yoongi said, smiling and pouring some soup from the pot into a bowl.

I just blinked at him blankly as he brought the bowl of soup to the table.

“Drink it while it’s hot.” He said, laying the spoon and the chopsticks on the table neatly for me.

“Thanks..” I mumbled, walking towards the table and sitting down on the chair.

I grabbed the spoon and drank some of the soup, it tasted so awesome I couldn’t stop drinking it.

“So…did you have a good sleep?” Yoongi asked, sitting opposite me.

“Mmmm…” I nodded, smiling embarrassedly at him.

“Hopefully he doesn’t talk about what happened last night..”

“Noona…do you…remember what happened last night?” Yoongi asked, raising his eyebrows questioningly at me.

I quickly gulped down the leftover soup in my mouth as I lowered the spoon onto the table.

“I was really drunk wasn’t I? Keke….Mian….” I apologized quickly.

“I remember I puked and you carried me to my bed to sleep..” I finished, peering up at him.

“Is that all? Do you remember anything else…?” Yoongi continued to question.

“Aaaniya….I fell asleep right after that didn’t I?” I lied.

Those flashbacks of me kissing Yoongi and almost taking off his shirt flashed back in front of me. But I had to lie…..I had to pretend I didn’t remember…at least until I settled everything with Jin.

“Oh..” Yoongi mumbled, looking a little disappointed.

“Why? Did anything else happen?” I pretended to ask.

“Huh? Oh….No….nothing…” Yoongi replied.

 

Suga’s pov:

Minhee didn’t even remember anything…and I thought this would be my chance to confess to her and tell her that I like her.

I guess not.

My phone started ringing in my pocket and I grabbed it out to see who it was.

It was Taeyoung.

She had been calling since morning but I didn’t want to pick up….I didn’t feel like talking to anyone anyway.

“You’re not going to take that?” Minhee asked, noticing me holding my ringing phone in my hand.

“Nah.” I replied, rejecting the call.

“Noona…you remember the auditions are later don’t you?” I asked.

“Oh! Yeah! I do…” Minhee replied, smiling at me.

“I’m gonna go home and get changed….I’ll meet you outside later all right?” I told her.

“Mmmmmm…I’ll get changed quickly.” Minhee replied.

I nodded at her as I went to her room and grabbed my bag, then I left her house.

Reaching home, I sighed as I threw my bag in the corner and pulled open the doors of my closet.

I really didn’t have any mood for the competition right now. I didn’t even get a wink of sleep last night after what happened with Minhee last night.

I was even preparing to confront her with it in the morning but it turned out that she had forgotten everything.

Standing on a stage in front of hundreds of people just didn’t seem appealing to me right now.

I grabbed my Hood by air sweater out of the closet and threw it onto the bed, then my phone started ringing again.

“It better not be Taeyoung or I’m gonna turn off my phone…” I mumbled to myself.

It was Namjoon this time.

“Oh..” I answered.

“Hyung! Where are you?” Namjoon asked.

“At home..” I replied.

“Where’d you go suddenly last night? We couldn’t find you in the morning.”

“Noona called…she had some trouble so I went over to her place.” I explained.

“Mwo? And you spent the night?”

“She was drunk and I had to take care of her… Wait!! How’d you know I stayed over?!” I demanded.

“Look hyung….we all know Youngie’s totally in love with you so…if you don’t like her…don’t lead her on okay?”

“I’m just saying….she’s young and everything…I don’t want her to get hurt. Trust me the last thing you want to do is get into a love triangle…plus..Youngie’s my cousin…I don’t want our relationship as brothers to turn bad cause of some that happened all right?” He finished.

“Yeah…I get it..” I replied.

“All right, see you later at Noise Basement.” He said, hanging up.

“All right Yoongi….no matter what you have to cler this competition first….everything else…can wait…” I told myself, taking a deep breath.

I had to calm my nerves so that I could do well at the competition later; I still wanted to win that Ten Million Won for Minhee….

After quickly changing, I pulled on my brown boots and left my house holding my notebooks with the lyrics of the song I was going to rap later at the competition.

I looked up to see Minhee waiting by the lifts for me.

I gave her an awkward smile as I walked up beside her.

She was wearing a lime-green colored long-sleeved blouse and a pair of blue skinny jeans. When I saw her right now…all I could think about was that steamy hot kiss she gave me last night.

I just wanted to die.

“I….brought my fanboard..” Minhee spoke, breaking the awkward silence in the lift.

“Make sure you’re the one cheering the loudest later..” I said, trying to sound cheerful.

“Of course….I AM your number one fan aren’t I?” Minhee replied, giving me a wide smile.

The both of us didn’t talk much on the way to the club and when we finally reached, the others were all there already.

Minhee and I spotted Namjoon standing at a corner with Taeyoung and Taehyung and went over.

“Heol.” Taeyoung mumbled as she saw Minhee and I coming over.

“Hyung! Noona! You’re here.” Namjoon greeted us.

“You guys came together?” Taeyoung questioned.

“And? What’s wrong with that?” Minhee challenged, stepping up to Taeyoung.

“Oppa! Why didn’t you answer my calls?? I was so worried!” Taeyoung pouted, grabbing my arm and pulling me over.

I totally did not have the time or mood for this right now.

Minhee laughed in disbelief as she crossed her arms in front of her and stared at Taeyoung.

“Hello? Anyone gonna introduce me?” Taehyung suddenly spoke.

Thank God!

“Ummmm…” Namjoon was about to speak when Jin came over.

“Minhee ssi…” He said, and everyone looked towards him.

Minhee spun around to face him, staring at his face in disbelief.

“Jin..ssi…” She mumbled.

“Can we talk for a moment..” He said, taking Minhee’s hand.

“Oh…Mmmmm…” Minhee said, turning around to look at me.

“I’ll be right back.” She said.

I nodded as Jin led her away.

“Namjoon hyung! Who’s that girl?” Taehyung asked again.

“Oh…she’s…Minhee Noona….Yoongi’s best friend and also….my ex-girlfriend.” Namjoon explained, looking towards me.

“Heol! Namjoon Oppa! You mean you dated her before?” Taeyoung asked.

“Yeaahhh…” Namjoon replied.

“Cool!” Taehyung grinned.

“She’s really pretty….maybe..you could ask her to hang out with us next time.”

“Yah!” Taeyoung shouted, nudging Taehyung in his arm.

“What!?” Taehyung retorted, rubbing his arm and frowning at his sister.

I widened my eyes at Taehyung.

Not another one!

“Yoongi hyung, is that guy who took her away..her boyfriend?” Taehyung asked.

“Mmmmm..” I nodded.

“Hyung, how long have you known her?” Taehyung asked again, grinning at me and grabbing my arm.

“Yah, we can chat later….Hyung…we should go backstage to get ready now..” Namjoon said.

I nodded as the both of us set off.

I was so relieved Namjoon saved me from answering all of Taehyung’s questions.

“Yoongi Oppa hwaiting! I’ll be cheering for you!” Taeyoung shouted.

I gave her a smile as Namjoon and I went backstage.

 

Minhee’s pov:

Jin and I stood at a corner outside the club, I kind of knew what our conversation was going to be about.

The wind played with my hair as I raised my eyes to meet Jin’s.

“Do you have anything to say?” Jin asked.

“You should go first, before I say anything…” He continued.

“Look Jin ssi….I’m sorry about yesterday..but I want you to know that if it had happened again I would have done the same thing…” I said, pausing for his reaction.

“I like you a lot…and I thought we’d be able to have a good relationship with each other…but things didn’t turn out the way I thought it would…and I’m a little confused now.” I finished.

“Fine…you don’t have to say anymore. Actually what I brought you out to tell you was….I don't think you like me that much…”

“You just say you do…you think you do…but the truth is…your heart isn’t really with me…I don’t want to name anyone but you’re the only one who knows exactly which person your heart longs for….and that person is not me.” Jin said, his eyes shiny now like they were starting to tear up.

My heart started to beat faster as tears welled up in my eyes as well, even though I was anticipating this…the thought of Jin breaking up with me was only just starting to hit me.

“I think we should end this here..” He said.

It’s almost as if all the wind stopped and the air became still as soon as Jin said those words.

Now I know how it felt to be at the receiving end of those words rather than the one delivering it.

“If it’s okay…maybe we could still be friends after a while…”

I sniffed and blinked the tears away from my eyes as I looked up at Jin.

“Yoongi’s going to perform soon…..I need to go…” I said, wiping the tears away from my eyes.

“I pass you the money when we get it…”

“Don’t say anything….I promised to help you with the ten million won…and I will.” I finished, taking a last look at Jin and walking off towards the direction of the club.

My walk turned into a jog as I quickly disappeared into the club, not wanting Jin to see my sobbing like a baby.

“Noona!” Someone called to me as I weaved my way through the crod of people.

I looked up to see a boy with wavy brownish-blonde hair and big round eyes staring at me and waving.

I widened my eyes at him wondering who he was and how he knew me when my eyes panned to the left and I saw that annoying girl who was always hanging around Yoongi nowadays.

I quickly ran my fingers across my face to check if there were any tears left as I stared at her.

She frowned back at me and I could see her holding her Suga fanboard in front of her chest.

“You’re Minhee right?? I’m Kim Taehyung…Namjoon’s cousin! Nice to mee you.” The boy smiled.

“Youngie’s my sister.” He grinned, pointing his thumb at her.

So she was his sister.

“Go Minhee..” I replied with a smile.

“Why don’t you stand with us? Yoongi hyung’s up next.” Taehyung suggested.

“Sure.” I said, falling in place beside him.

“All right….that was contest number three…right now, let’s put out hands together for the next contestant.” The MC started.

“He’s quite popular in the underground hiphop scene in Seoul and already has quite a following of fans….let’s welcome…SUGAAAAA…” The MC announced, as the crowd cheered.

I waved at Yoongi and flashed him my widest grin as he came out onto the stage.

Yoongi caught my gaze and waved back at me, which caused Taeyoung to flash me a death stare.

I rolled my eyes at I continued to watch Yoongi who was saying a few words before starting his performance.

He looked like a star up there….I was so proud of him.

“Just ignore my little sister…” Taehyung whispered to me.

“She’s a sasaeng of Yoongi hyung’s.” Taehyung laughed.

I smiled at him, at least he wasn’t annoying like his sister.

“YAH! I’m not a sasaeng!!” Taeyoung hissed.

“Just watch the peroformance all right?” Taehyung told his sister.

[Suga performs Diss a song he wrote himself]

 

 

 

Suga’s pov:

I sat backstage with Namjoon as the MC was out on the stage wrapping up the rap competition.

There were 6 contestants and only one winner! I saw the rest of the performances, they were all really good. It was going to be hard to choose a winner.

“Hyung, what do you think? Confident of winning?” Namjoon asked.

“I don’t know…they’re all really good you know.” I replied.

“Come on hyung, you gotta be more confident in yourself!” Namjoon said nudging me.

“Yeah…I just didn’t really get much sleep last night..” I mumbled.

Namjoon raised his eyebrows at me as I said that.

“What did you and Minhee do last night!?” He exclaimed.

“N…Nothing!!” I stuttered.

“Heol….so has Minhee broken up with Jin yet?”

“What?!”

“Welll…..if she didn’t break up with Jin….technically…you guys were having an affair…” Namjoon said.

“Yah! We didn’t do anything!” I protested.

But my mind kept flashing back to last night where Minhee kissed me on the bed.

Namjoon smirked at me and was about to say something when the PD disrupted him.

“Guys, you can all come out on stage now…we’ll be announcing the results!” The PD said.

Namjoon and I got up from oour seats as we followed the other contestants out onto the stage.

My eyes flickered to the crowd and I could see Minhee standing with Taehyung and Taeyoung and waving her fanboard at me.

It always brought a smile to my face whenever I saw her in the crowd cheering for me…I wouldn’t know what I would do if she didn’t exist in my life really.

“After a heated debate, the judges have finally decided on a winner…the winner will win ten million won and of course recognition as a rapper in the underground hiphop scene.”

“However, that’s not all! As per the judges decision we have decided to add a runner up position! The runner up will also receive recognition and….50,000 won gift voucher..”

“Without furthur ado…let’s announce the winner!”

There was a drumroll as I forced my eyes shut, clenching my fist and praying that my name was going to be called.

“The runner up and the winner of the gift voucher is….Kim! Nam! Joon!” The MC announced.

There were cheers from the crowd as Namjoon stepped up to receive his prize.

If Namjoon was the runner up then……

“And now….the winner of Ten Million Won!.....MIN!...YOON! GI! SUGAAAAA!”

I gasped as I heard my name being called….

I did it!

I won!

There was a wide grin on my face as I stepped up to recived my prize and I totally forgot how tired I was.

 

After receiving our prizes, Namjoon and I left the stage fighting our way through the crowd who were screaming our names.

“Yoongi ah, that was great! You were really good!” Minhee smiled.

“Because I could hear you cheering loudly for me…” I said, grinning at her.

Minhee was about to reply when Taeyoung grabbed my arm and pulled be towards her.

“Oppa! You were awesomeeee!! So cool!!” She exclaimed excitedly.

“Now I know why I fell in love with you in the first place!” She said, clasping her hands together and beaming at me.

I scratched my head embarrassedly as I gave her and awkward smile, still not used to how direct she was with her feelings.

“Yah! You’re rude! I was talking to Yoongi! How could you interrupt like that!” Minhee protested, grabbing my arm and pulling me back beside her.

I widened my eyes at her.

“Noona..” I stuttered, but Taeyoung cut me off.

“Oppa! Why does unnie always hang around you!? She already has a boyfriend..and she’s too old for you!” She frowned, grabbing and pulling my other arm.

“Yah! You’re not going to let go of Yoongi!?” Minhee exclaimed, tightening her grip on my left arm.

“NO WAY!” Taeyoung retorted, tugging on my other arm.

I looked towards Minhee and then towards Taeyoung and then back again, at this rate I was going to get torn into two!!

“Yoongi ah, you promised me I would be the president of your fanclub wouldn’t I? I’m you’re number one fan aren’t I?” Minhee asked, furrowing her eyebrows at me.

“Ummm…”

“Oppa! I’ve been a fan of yours since I can remember! Although I’ve just known you…I’m good enough..if not better than Minhee unnie!” Taeyoung pouted.

I closed my eyes as took a deep breath, my arms felt like they were going to drop off from my shoulders.

“All right stop! Both of you!” I shouted, swinging my arms out of both their grips.

Minhee and Taeyoung both stopped and looked at me.

“Yoongi ah..”

“Oppa…”

“Youngie ah….I know you’ve been a fan of me for a long time..but Minhee has been my friend since we were kids…we share a lot together so it’s only fair that she becomes my fan club president. I hope you understand.” I told Taeyoung.

“Yoongi ah…I knew you wouldn’t disappoint me.” Minhee smiled, wrapping her fingers around my hand.

“Oppa!!” Taeyoung protested, stomping her feet.

“Youngie ah, it doesn’t mean you’re any less of a fan okay? I really appreciate your support.” I said, giving her a reassuring smile.

Taeyoung huffed as she turned away from me.

“Yoongi ah, we should go to the bank…..I want to pass Jin the money as soon as possible.” Minhee whispered.

I nodded at her as I turned to Taeyoung.

“Youngie, I need to go somewhere important with Minhee…I’ll call you later okay?” I told her.

“Oooo oppa! Where are you going!?” Taeyoung called after me as I turned to leave.

“I’ll call you later okay?” I said again.

“Oppa!” Taeyoung called again, but Minhee grabbed my hand tighter and pulled me outside.

We walked quite a distance and then Minhee realized she was holding my hand like we were a couple.

The both of us looked at each other then Minhee quickly let go of my hand and put her arm behind her back.

The rest of the journey was quiet and we got the money from the bank and they put it in a suitcase.

We took a cab to Jin’s place and then Minhee went up to give Jin the money while I waited downstairs.

 

A few moments later, Minhee came down from Jin’s apartment.

“Did you give him the money?” I asked her.

“Mmmmm…” Minhee nodded.

She didn’t look happy at all, I could tell she was upset and that there was something on her mind.

“Yoongi ah…” Minhee spoke suddenly.

“Hmmmm?” I replied, raising my eyebrows at her.

“Do you…like Taeyoung?” She asked.

I widened my eyes, that question caught me by surprise. I didn’t expect Minhee to ask me that.

“Uhhh..well…she can be annoying at times but I guess she’s okay..” I replied.

Minhee looked at me questioningly as if she expected me to continue.

“I guess I kind of like her…she’s pretty and cute..and she likes what I do. I probably wouldn’t mind if she becomes my girlfriend…”

What am I even saying!?

Minhee gave a soft sigh as I finished what I was going to say.

I guess I was probably still afraid of getting rejected by her…after all…Jin was still her boyfriend…right?

“Actually…..I broke up with Jin.” She said, as if reading my mind.

“Mwo!?” I exclaimed in disbelief.

“Just now…before the rap competition started…we went outside to talk and…we decided to break up.” Minhee said, looking at the ground.

I blinked my eyes, still trying to understand what Minhee was saying.

“Noona…why didn’t you tell me?” I stuttered.

“Even though we broke up…I still wanted to keep my promise to him about helping him with the ten million won.” Minhee said.

“Yoongi ah….why do all my relationships end badly…?” Minhee stuttered.

I could hear her voice trembling as she looked up at me teary eyed.

“It hurts…” She mumbled, the tears pouring down her cheeks.

“Noona..” I mumbled, wrapping my arms around her.

“Yoongi ah…” She sobbed, snaking her long slender arms around my waist and holding me tightly.

“It’s all right….no matter what happens…you’ll always have me…Noona…I will never leave you…” I whispered into her ear.

Minhee sobbed softly as she buried her face on my shoulder, I could feel her warm tears dampen my shirt.

“Cry your heart out…you’ll feel better…” I said, her softly on her back.

 

A/n: Phew! Took a long time to update this chapter...I was a little busy so. Anyway, hope you enjoy the chapter eungkyakya :D

Song: Diss - Suga

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seolyeonfics
CAN'T UPDATE!!! TOO MANY FEELS TT TT I will update tmr

Comments

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Sugakookiez #1
Chapter 43: Okay plzzzzzzzzzz don't make them break up T^T I like them they they are right now
sinwan #2
i love yoongi... :3.. love your fanfic.. <3
Up10tion4LIFE #3
Great story, keep up the good work!
SungminsKyutie
#4
I was retreading this. Cause I miss this story alot ;-; update when you can TT
YoongiholicAnonymous #5
Do you know when you're going to update again?
I miss your updates ㅠ.ㅠ
♥~
sugaluva
#6
please update when you are able to <3
clueless
#7
Chapter 43: NEW READER HERE HEUHEUHUEHEU
I LOVE IT <3
HEUEHEUH~~
UPDATE WHENEVER YOU CAN~~
*throws you a life-sized doll of Suga*
Byulbity0628
#8
Chapter 1: New reader and the starters is good. No wonder my friend desperately begging at me to read this. Continue to the next chapter! ^^ xD