Suzy

I decided to visit Jiyeon on a Saturday because I felt miserable staying at home. I ring the doorbell and I could hear it rings echoes throughout her big house. Nobody but her must be home. After a minute, the door opened. An excited Jiyeon beamed at me. “ Suzy!” she greeted with a bright smile. I smiled in return as she pulled me inside her house.

“ Did I bother you? “ I asked, feeling slightly guilty. She shrugged “I wasn’t doing anything. Nobody’s here” she said while walking upstairs. I followed behind. Even in home clothes, Jiyeon managed to look so beautiful . Her body is slim and lean. I don’t think I ever see Jiyeon gained weight. She eats quite well too especially when she comes over to my house but I guess she doesn’t eat much at home considering her parents aren’t always here.

“ I was thinking of going out with you today. I’ve been feeling suffocated only sitting around at home” I suggested. She chuckled “ Wow. You’re asking me out. What happened to ‘indoor Suzy’ ?” she said while shaking her head. It is true. I used to always reject her offer to go out because I like sitting at home more than going out. I was a lazy girl.

I pouted. “ It’s time for me to go out then” I joked. She nodded, still stifling with laughter. “ Wait for me to change” she said and disappears inside her room. I could hear her small chuckles even as she walks inside her bathroom. I rolled my eyes. “ Oh come on Jiyeon. It’s not that funny”

Her laughter got louder as I pointed her out. “ I don’t even know why I find it funny, Suzy “ she said from inside. It’s been a while since we’ve been like this. I’m glad we’re back to our old days. My smile slowly disappears as I remember, everything is going to change soon and I won’t see this anymore. I’m scared of leaving. I’m scared if I get replaced and if I’ll be forgotten.

“ What the heck, Suzy. You asked me to come here , then we need to shop! Not just sit in a café “ Jiyeon sighed out loud as she stirs on her drink. We’ve been sitting in the café for over 30 minutes already. It was what I originally planned though. I just want to spend relaxing time outside with her. But I forgot that Jiyeon is a shopaholic and she can’t stay still. Her eyes will always roam around at the shops’ windows. 

“ You have plenty of stuff already. What do you wanna buy anyways? “ I asked as I sip on my straw. “ Clothes of course! I need new dresses “ she said, leaning back in her chair. I made a horrified face.  “ Clothes? But you have so much of them already “ I replied. “ People who recycles clothes like you won’t understand “ she replied back with a playful smirk. I rolled my eyes and chuckled. No one can try and say otherwise about her hobby.

“ I’m glad you’re back to normal Suzy” Jiyeon suddenly said, smiling at me. I was taken aback.

“ You looked so down this week. Everyone thought you were sick or going through some trouble.  “ she continued. I quietly laughed  “ I’m not sick “ I said.

“ Then, do you want to tell me what’s wrong? “ she asked carefully. My friends know how hard I am at opening up about my problems. I rarely do so. “ I just feel stressed out” I said, not looking at her. It was not a lie. It was just ambiguous.

“ About what?” Jiyeon looks at me, waiting for my revelation. I don’t know how she’ll react and I’m scared to tell her.

“ I’m moving away” I finally dropped the secret, looking back at her expectantly. Jiyeon looked stunned. She stopped stirring her drink as she looks at me to see if I was joking.  “ Move?” she asked.

I slowly nodded. My heart begins to feel heavy again. “ We’re moving after this school year ends meaning next year I won’t be here anymore. I have to change schools and .. “ I stopped to breathe in deeply. “ –it was so hard on me to think about. I won’t see you guys anymore “ I said, looking down at my drink like it’s not appetizing anymore. Jiyeon blinked and inched closer to the table. “ Why didn’t you tell us earlier? “ she asked, her voice came out in a whisper. She seems really taken aback by this news.

“ I don’t know how. I can’t bring myself to tell “

She stretched her hand out to reach mine. “ It’s alright. We’re always here for you” she said, smiling at me with glistening eyes. I feel so sad already. I smiled back at her sadly. How do I deserve such great friends? I’m truly blessed.

We took a taxi back home since we live in the same neighborhood. Then, we walked hand in hand together. It felt so long since we did this. We used to do this when we were in middle school. We’d eat ice creams and swung our hands together as we walked home. I always loved it.

“ You sure you don’t want to tell IU? Jonghyun, perhaps? “ she asked me as she on the ice cream on her lips. I looked at her and shake my head. “ I don’t know yet. I’ll find a right timing. “ I said. She nodded in understanding. “ It’ll be hard for me to keep the secret. You need to tell them soon” she reminded me. I stayed quiet. I don’t know if I could even face the truth in front of IU.

I went out to the park that evening. I haven’t visited this park in ages. When I entered high school, I spent most of my times inside my room. I regret it now because I’m leaving soon and I didn’t spend much time in the park like I wanted to. I sit under a tree as I watch other people have fun in the park. Some kids are running around with their parents watching them. Some are here with friends having picnics. I look up the sky as it turns orange. My heart feels sad.

I want to scream and let out this desperate feeling from within me but I can’t. I was never expressive like Sulli so I don’t know what should I do to cope with this feeling.

A cotton candy suddenly appeared in front of me, surprising me. I leaned back in shock and look up to see Soohyun looking down at me with a blank face. I could see his face getting darker in red under the orange light. I look back and forth from the candy to him, puzzled.

“ I saw you here from over there” he said and sits next to me on the grass, leaning on the tree bark. He has his own cotton candy in his hand and begins to eat it. I smile and stare at the candy he bought for me. “ You saw me and bought this for me?”  I ask. He shrugs but his face tells me he’s embarrassed. I laughed inside. It feels like all my burden and sadness had been lifted up.

I lean back on the tree bark beside him. “ You come to this park too?” I ask, looking around. Our neighborhood is side by side but I’m sure he has his own park there. He coughed. “ I often come here because they sell more food “ he said but it didn’t sound so convincing. I smiled so widely because I thought the way he’s behaving is so cute.

I lean closer to him and take a look on his side profile. I didn’t know what grew in me to do that but I just felt like it. I have missed him.

“ I’m glad you’re talking to me again” I blurted.

He stopped eating and turned slowly to look at me. I blinked at him as our eyes locked, our faces near each other. I would’ve panicked if it was in the past but I don’t know why I feel comfortable now. He looked into my eyes for a good long ten seconds until he breaks away. He looks down and rubs his neck.

“ I’m sorry. I was a jerk” he said. I blinked at him, waiting for him to explain. I wonder if it’s really about the choosing matter.

But he didn’t continue. I leaned back again on the tree.

“ I’m sorry I chose Wooyoung over you. I just thought it’s easier to be with classmates so our activities won’t clash with our classes “ I said. It was half a lie. I did it partly because of Jiyeon but I think it works.

Soohyun nodded slowly and resumed eating. I was disappointed he didn’t touch further on this matter. I want to hear more from him but I guess he doesn’t want to talk about it. I stare at my untouched candy and put it closer to my mouth as it melts.

Jonghyun

“ What? “ IU was horrified when I had told her the news about Suzy. I know it’s not right for me to tell her first but I don’t think it’s right to keep it from her as she cares about Suzy the most. I’m sure Suzy had her reasons for not telling IU sooner but I feel mean for keeping it from IU although I have known about the news.

“ And she’s not telling me? What is that girl thinking?” she said, exasperated. I never seen IU in this state. She looked so bewildered and shocked. She was about to walk pass me when I grabbed her small arm back. She looked back at me, angry.

“ Hey, she didn’t tell me too, okay? “ I said, frowning.

She looks confused. “Then, how did you know ?”

“ Soojung told me as Sulli is moving too. Listen, she must have her reasons. Let’s try and understand her” I said, trying to reason with her. I know I’m probably not as important to Suzy as IU is to her but I want Suzy to tell us herself about it.

“ But it doesn’t make sense! She’s moving away and she’s keeping quiet about it? What is trying to do? Disappear suddenly without us knowing? “ she said, walking around as she bites on her finger. I sighed.

“ I don’t know. But let’s just wait. I’m sure she’ll tell us soon. “ I said. IU looked terribly hurt that Suzy had kept the news from her. Anyone would think when matters like this IU will be the first person to know but it’s the opposite now.

“ Woah, what’s going on here?” Wooyoung suddenly came by the stairs. He seems like he was going up. We both looked at him and tried acting normal. He eyed my hand around IU’s wrist and raised his eyebrows suggestively. IU and I rolled our eyes at him as I let go of her wrist. We’re so not in the mood to entertain this kind of stuff.

“ Sorry . Did I interrupt you guys?” he said, smiling suggestively at us and walked up the stairs. IU clicked her tongue, she didn’t hide her annoyed face as she glared at him. “ Yeah, you did “ she replied and stomped away, her long hair bouncing behind her. I looked at IU leaving and Wooyoung spoke “ She’s attractive”

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****now playing mic drop BUNGEE. When will I ever get tired of that song( and buljangnan) lol..also listening to ikon,bts, one, sunmi as I’m writing this. I need to prepare for class in an hour( ok i wrote this under an hour, claps ). Im so lazy to attend class. I just wanna write all day. Oneul mohae? I’m thinking of writing a hanbin fic but idk lol it’ll be weird cuz it’ll be emo af and Im not used to writing angst. :/ but im feeling so emo lately (all the time keke) I guess it’s not hyunzy era anymore. Back in 2012 I got like hundreds of views per chapt T-T hyunzy is  dying guys..

i'll try and update daily on weekdays since im in uni, im always on laptop and bored. on the weekends if i go back home, i'll probably not be online bcoz im a home person keke. love u guys. thx for making my day bcoz i dont hve good days everyday

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