When we arrived, Jiyeon’s house was obviously full of guests even looking from the outside. Her parents are well known and are very social, so does Jiyeon, so they must have invited a lot of people over. I follow from behind IU into the house. I was freezing inside especially because of my bare legs. I should’ve just worn a long dress and wear pants underneath.

Why didn’t I think of that earlier? I sighed. I regret being lazy and let IU picked out my clothes.

We walked into her house that we’ve been to a lot of times already in the past but rarely now since Taeyi and Dajung always hang out at Jiyeon’s house which made me and IU uncomfortable in case we bump into them.

We reached Jiyeon’s big living room and she spots us pretty quick as she ran to us after that to give us both a big hug. It was warm.

“ Sorry we’re late” IU said when Jiyeon let go of us. She grinned and shook her head. “ It’s okay! I didn’t think you’d come at all! “ Jiyeon said, looking particularly cautious at me. She looks guilty. It was awkward. Jiyeon and I was never awkward. Even when she knew about how I don’t like Taeyi and Dajung, it never got awkward between us.

I know she must think I’m angry at her about that event almost a week ago. I left my phone uncharged until it died because I don’t want to talk to anyone. She must think I was avoiding her. I was not avoiding her. I just want my alone time to sort out my thoughts.

“ Sorry. My phone died because I didn’t charge it” I said, trying to let her know it wasn’t because I was trying to avoid her. IU and I both took out our gifts that we brought for her and her eyes immediately gleam. “ OMG. Thanks guys!” she squealed and give us a hug again. We all laugh together and then she told us to grab some food to eat while she goes and put our gifts in her bedroom.

IU and I walked into the living room where most the delicacies are at. There’s  a lot of people from our school, some teachers and some college students.

We settled down on a seat right next to Jiyeon’s big Christmas tree at the corner of the room. IU left me for a while to fetch some food for both of us while I look around the room to search for some other friends that I know until my eyes stop on someone –a figure I miss a lot, standing among other people.

Kim Soohyun was there. He has a bored expression on his face –obviously he hates socializing especially since he doesn’t talk a lot with people who he aren’t familiar with. Even with me, we don’t talk a lot but it was comfortable. I stare at him who is standing at the other side of the room for a while –can’t seem to take my eyes off of him.

Soon, just like magnet, we were looking at each other as he looks to the side and we both locked eyes. He looks a bit surprised to see me here, judging by his facial expression but I remained calm.

I realized , over the past few days after that meeting, I had been really good at hiding my emotions and feelings. It’s easier for me now to just act and pretend about certain things just to mask my real feelings.

I broke our eye contact and look somewhere else.

Soohyun

My heart fell when Suzy broke our eye contact. She even pretended like she didn’t see me although I’m sure we did locked eyes for a good 10 seconds.

I knew she’s still angry and hurt about that meeting a few days ago.

My whole body just dying to walk to where she’s sitting and talk to her like we used to do but my feet just won’t move. It must be this ego inside of me which doesn’t want to give in. I just can’t bring myself to talk to her and clear the misunderstanding although it’s that simple.  

It has been an hour since I watch Suzy sat there on that couch. Soon after she broke eye contact with me, I saw IU and Jiyeon approached her and they sat together to eat and chat. Soon after that, Eunjung arrived and they sat together. They were laughing loudly and happil. I unknowingly smile every time I see Suzy laughs or smiles. There’s something about her that radiates happiness whenever she’s happy like that.

All the time, all I did was secretly stealing glances at Suzy. She’s so pretty tonight and I wish I could tell her that. I wish I could stand close to her to admire her beauty even closer. I longed to see her smiling face when she’s with me. I’m such a coward for not walking up to her now but I feel like if I go to her now , I might disrupt her mood and she’ll get annoyed again. So I just decided to admire her from afar.

After that, IU and Suzy stood up from the couch and hug both Jiyeon and Eunjung. I watch them as they wore their scarves and coats. They waved Jiyeon and Eunjung goodbye and left the house. Even until then, I couldn’t bring myself to talk to her.

Suzy

After yesterday’s party at Jiyeon’s house, I felt weaker. Soohyun didn’t even try talking to me. I noticed he only was looking at me. I didn’t want to see him or talk to him but part of me did want him to come up to me and talk like we used to. I might just forget about my disappointments and be okay again. But he didn’t . I waited and waited until we leave the party, he didn’t come up to me at all.

I was thinking of him all night again after we got back from the party and now I have bad dark circles. I hate myself for getting this stupid feelings get to me.

I shook my head and quickly sit up, crossing my legs on the bed. “ Maybe I was too sensitive?” I question myself.

“ Hm, Aoi? Am I being too sensitive about it?”  I ask my blue plushie that Jonghyun gave me. Ever since last night, I’ve been abusing him with my endless questions like he’s alive and can give me an answer.

“ It’s not even a date ,right? “ I ask again as I look at the wall.

“ Yeah, it’s not” I mutter, quietly as I look at Aoi.

I sigh and lie back down on my bed. I look up to the ceiling.

“ He must think I’m annoying because I got angry over a small thing. That’s why he’s not talking to me” I said. I turn to Aoi. “ But for me. . . it isn’t a small thing “ I confess then bury myself into the pillow because I feel embarrass I said that.

It’s finally the night of the new year and as usual, I spend the time with myself. I just lie on my bed and stare into space. School is near and I don’t think I want to face Soohyun yet especially when his seat is next to mine.

Suddenly, I heard my mom calling me from downstairs. I immediately got up and head to the door. “ WHAT?!” I shouted from upstairs.

“ COME DOWN! “

I groaned. I’m not in the mood to step any more step. “ WHAT IS IT?!” I shouted, annoyed.

“JUST COME DOWN!” she shouted back.

I stomp my feet on the ground, feeling unsatisfied.

When I got down, she was preparing pancakes and stuffed them into a few lunchboxes. She turns to face me.  “ Bring this to Sulli “ she said while cleaning the table. “ But she’s at Soojung’s. She’s eating well for sure” I reasoned, frowning. I really don’t want to go out just to send this to that brat. She can figure out not to starve for herself.

My mom gives me a look. “ Soojung’s parents aren’t at home. They might not eat well there “

I groaned at her lame excuse and head to my bedroom to change.

I got out into the cold weather groaning all the way to Soojung’s house which is also Jonghyun’s. Their house is only a few houses away from mine. I just have to turn to a corner to reach his house. That’s why we often go to each other’s houses, especially Sulli and Soojung because we live near.

I reach his house and ring the doorbell. The speaker beside the gate beep.

“Who is it?”

I smiled when I hear Jonghyun spoke with a serious tone –probably imitating his father.

“ Jonghyun. It’s me, Suzy “ I replied while laughing .

There was a silence but then I heard he laughed too.

“Okay” he said and the gate beside me unlocked.

I took off my shoes and walk into his house. His house is much bigger than mine. I stood by the door and saw him walking down the stairs.

“ Here” I said, holding up the lunchboxes. He looks at them curiously.

“ My mom send you these “ I said and his eyes lit up as he immediately takes them from my hands.

“ Niceeeee. I’m hungry anyway. That brat wouldn’t cook me anything” he said ,walking into the kitchen as I follow him from behind.

“You should learn to cook then” I said, shrugging.

He shrugs too. “ I don’t suit cooking. Just look at me. Can you imagine me cooking? “ he said as he points to him up and down his body.

I scoff. “ Yeah, I can’t. But does my thoughts matter more than you starving? “

Jonghyun rolls his eyes at my statement. “ You’re no fun. Stay here. I’ll call them down” he said, giving up. I replied with a winning smirk.

“ I like guys who cook though “ I said quietly after he left.

“ Oh come on, Unnie! You should’ve brought a bigger meal instead!” Sulli said as she entered the kitchen and saw the lunchbox.

I glare at her.

“ Shut up or I’ll throw this away and you starve “ I said. She immediately took the pancakes and save them from me.

“ Suzy Unnie. You can just cook here. We have some raw food in the fridge” Soojung suggest. I was actually lazy but since Soojung requested it nicely and they really looked like they’re hungry, I decided to just give in.

“ Fine” I said.

“ YAY!” the three of them hug each other in victory and munch on their pancakes while waiting for me to cook them a nice meal. Jonghyun grinned at me and I quietly groaned.

“ Let me help you” he said as he approached me.  I gave him a suspicious look. “I thought cooking makes you uncool “ I said, mocking him the way he said it earlier.

He only laughed in return. “ I can’t just let you bleed in my kitchen “ he said. I hold up the knife to him. “ You think I’m weak at handling knives ,huh?” I said. Jonghyun stepped back and gulped as he smiled weakly at me. “ Sorry “ he apologized and that made me laugh.

Soojung

Jonghyun looks so happy teasing Suzy while they cook together. I nudge Sulli who is busy finishing her pancakes while watching the TV. “Yah, look at them” I said to her.

Sulli turn to the direction I showed. She saw Jonghyun and Suzy were laughing together but was oblivious to what I actually meant. She turned back to me and gave me a disgusted look, which confused me so I thought she doesn’t like the sight of Suzy and Jonghyun together.

“ I hope their saliva won’t accidentally falls into our food “ she said.

I scoff and smack her hard. She screams “ Ow! What was that for?! “

“ For being an idiot “ I said. She looks at me confused.

I sighed. “ Don’t you think they look good together? “ I asked.

She looks at them and then at me. Suddenly, she started laughing out loud. “ My sister? And your brother? AHAHAHAHHAHAH “

She laughed hysterically until she choked on her pancakes.

Suzy and Jonghyun who were in the kitchen quickly turn to us and found Sulli patting her chest, obviously looking like she’s choking. Jonghyun quickly ran to us and give Sulli a glass of water and she drank it all down in seconds. Suzy sighed when she saw her okay again.

~.~

This took me SOOOOOOOOOOO long to write but it's only a bit more than 2k words. Writing is really hard when you're distracted. Today had been quite a ty day for me. I thought i could release it by writing but nope

~,~