" Come on , Soojung ! The fireworks is starting ! " Sulli's loud voice can be heard throughout the house . " Yeah , yeah . I'm coming " Soojung said , while walking up the stairs , calmly . " You're so slow ! " Sulli shouted and pulled her best friend , quickly running to the rooftop.

It’s time for the new year countdown and they decided to watch together. I felt sad at the thought . Right now, I want to watch the fireworks with Soohyun. I’m so stupid. Why is he always in my mind?

I bet he is spending time with Jiyeon.

I sighed at the thought.

" Don't you wanna see the firework ? " Jonghyun's voice woke me up from ny daze and I nodded . Jonghyun smiled and reach out his hand for me to grab . I took it.

" 10 , 9  , 8 "

They started the countdown , and I  thought even if I  can't spend it with Soohyun I  will spend it with someone who appreciates me . In fact , Jonghyun is my best friend too and he has always been there for me .

" 5 , 4 , 3 "

I look at Jonghyun's peaceful face while gazing up the sky .

" 2 , 1 "

And eventhough Jonghyun is not romantically special to me, he is still someone special . And I  appreciate him so much.

" 0 "  The fireworks blast up in amazing colors in the sky , and we all smiled looking at the beautiful sight  . We faced each other and smiled . " Happy new year " we said together and laugh .

Soohyun

" Honey , Jiyeon is here " my mom walks in the  room and saw me lying on  bed , staring into space .

I slowly turn to face my mom and nod. I walk downstairs calmly and see Jiyeon smiling brightly at me. I return with an awkward smile and ask why is she here. I honestly felt like my energy has been drenched from my body and all I want to do right now is go back to my room and lie down for eternity.

Jiyeon has been a great friend to me and my mom seems to like her a lot –which leaves me so uncomfortable because I have zero feelings for her and no intention of having any romantic relationship with her.

But my mom seems oblivious to catch that.

I sighed as I walk towards her.

I wanted to ask about Suzy from her but I’m too afraid if she’ll catch on my feelings fast.

Jiyeon said we’re going out for the fireworks and it seems like my mom went ahead and said yes to her. I feel that it will make her feel bad if I just blatantly reject.

After changing my clothes to more comfortable ones, I walked out to her car. The youth party is in town and she kept talking about she had no one going with her. Eunjung went back to her hometown before school starts and IU has to stay home with her brother.

I  waited for Jiyeon to talk about Suzy but she just seems quiet afterwards .

I braved myself to ask. “ How about Suzy?” I tried not to sound too concern.

Jiyeon shrugged. “ I don’t even know. I went to her house and there was only Sunhwa, her youngest sister. I guess Suzy went out with her other sister, Sulli “ she said.

I was quiet afterwards –fighting the urge to ask more about Suzy.

“ I  wonder where she went to . . . “ she mumbled.

I glanced at Jiyeon who seems to be thinking hard about it then her face suddenly lit up as she looks at me “ Jonghyun!” she suddenly said.

 “ Huh?”

“ She’s at Jonghyun’s house!”

“ Jonghyun?” I repeated. She nods eagerly. “ I’m positive she’s there. Oh, I don’t even know why she’s always with him. I can’t stand him” she continued.

I felt a tinge of jealousy. I always notice how casual those two are. I envy Jonghyun for being able to do that around her. It’s always the two of them together –even at the mall the other day.

“ But it makes sense I guess. Sulli and Jonghyun’s sister are best friends. It’s natural for them to meet a lot , I think”

I just listen quietly.

“ We’ve known each other since middle school. Jonghyun always annoy Suzy and they fight everyday. Only this year, they seem to make up. I don’t even know why and how. I never liked him. His teases were too mean for me “

I nod slowly and look out the window.

I miss her. I want to be with her.

“ So they spend time a lot together huh?” I finally ask. Jiyeon looks at me. “ Yeah, I think so “ she replied .

I look up the dark sky as we got out of the car. If only I can see this view with Suzy by my side. I mentally apologize to Jiyeon for disrespecting her this way.

" 10 , 9 .. " they started the countdown . Jiyeon excitingly look up the sky with a big smile on her face , while I look up sadly.  

" 4 , 3 .. "

If only if I am not a coward , I  could have been by her side right now , replacing Jonghyun's  .

" 2 , 1 , "

I  hope that I  could just go back to her and acted like the awkwardness never existed in the first place .

" 0 " the fireworks blasted up in the sky with wonderful colors . All the audience cheered and wished their friends a happy new year . Jiyeon wished me happily and I  did the same , but maybe , just maybe I  think that I ‘ll be more happy if I  could exchange these new year greetings with Suzy.

Happy new year, Suzy. I wished in my mind.  

If only falling in love and confessing are easy .

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hey guys. long time no see. slap me for always being lazy. i will try to change. hopefully u guys are still with me .  xo

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