"What?" I finally looked at him.

   "Let's break up." He repeated, looking down.

   "Why?" My voice was even weaker than before.

   "Just because."

   "At least give me a proper reason, Dae Hyun. Have you fallen for that noona? Or for another girl? Are you afraid my body won't ever get completely healed and you will end up with a useless girl full of scars? Did you get tired of me? Did you finally realize I'm not good enough for you?" I stopped talking as tears started rolling down my face once again.

   "No, no, no, please don't cry!" He approached me with hurried steps. He sighed, defeated. "No, I didn't fall for any other girl. No, I wouldn't mind carrying you around on my back if your legs don't respond properly. No, I will never get tired of you. And, no, I'm the one who has never been good enough for you, not the other way around." He kneeled next to me and was about to wipe my tears away, but I stopped him by turning my face to the opposite side.

   "Then why?"

   "Because it's the best for you."

   "Who says so? Who are you to decide what is the best for me? I'm the one who should-" He interrupted me.

   "Just listen to me, please." He touched my face, but immediately retreated his hand. "During this short time we've been together, how many times have I hurt you? How many times have I messed up with you? How many times have I made you cry? And this time you almost died because of me." He lowered his head.

   "It wasn't your fault. I was distracted and didn't check if there were cars coming before crossing the street. It had nothing to do with you." I touched his hair, but he raised his head, as if avoiding my touch.

   "Zelo told me you were talking about me. Even if it wasn't directly, I am the one who distracted you."

  "Not exactly." I wondered if I should tell him about Shi Hoo or not. "I was already distracted by the time he called me."

   "Distracted to the point of being run over by a bus? What was in your mind?"

   I thought for a while. "Nothing much."

   He probably didn't want to talk about that anymore, so he just nodded. I am still not sure if we are really over or not, but I don't want to ask right now.

   I can't feel my legs. Is it a bad sign? My head hurts. Everything hurts. But, as cheesy as it may sound, this physical pain can't be compared to what I felt when he said we were over. I just hope he didn't really mean it.

   I woke up on the next day, still in the hospital, with Zelo next to me. "So you finally decided to visit your almost killed friend." 

   "Don't be ungrateful. Before the hyungs arrived I stayed with you all the time. Two days sitting on this armchair. I even slept here! They arrived only a couple hours before you woke up and they still get all the credit." He mumbled the last part.

   I was thankful. Somewhat touched. But I'm too proud to say it out loud. "So, how's life?"

   He stared at me for a moment. "Really? You've been unconscious for two days, you broke an arm, an ankle and two ribs, you managed to twist your knee, you dislocated your shoulder, your brain may have been affected irreversably and you're asking how is my life?"

   "You don't have to put it that way." I lowered my eyes.

   "What?"

   "You don't have to remind me I'm useless now, I know that well enough already."

   "I never said you were useless."

   "But I know that. My body is all broken and weak. My brain is disappointing me more than ever. What else is there to go wrong?"

   "You'll get better. Everything will go back to what it was before. And I promise to break that Shi Hoo guy in a hundred pieces." I giggled and frowned because of the pain.

   "Only a hundred? I think a thousand would be better."

   "I can make it a million." He joked, full of himself.

   "Idiot." I laughed. Screw the pain, I can handle it in this case.

   After spending two days eating hospital food, I was glad to be discharged. The first thing I did? I went to a restaurant to get a proper dinner. In a wheelchair, but whatever. It was nice. Swallowing the food hurt like hell, but it tasted amazing. Don't ask me what that was, though.

   In a way, I wasn't disliking my disability. Damn, I'll be cursed for this. But I'm not lying. Everyone treated me nicely. They kept asking me if I needed something, if I was feeling fine, if something hurt. I know I shouldn't like it, but I have never been the spoiled girl, so being taken care of in an excessive way felt good. I thought I deserved to be pampered at least once after my dad passed away.

   On the other hand, I felt useless. Everytime I tried to do something, anything, someone stopped me and did it for me. I mean, I'm not complaining, I felt like a princess with servants, but some things were just too much. For example, they didn't let me tear the straw's paper wrap. What could I do with that? Cut myself with the paper? That's not possible with that kind of paper. Poke my eye with the straw? It's easier to do that while drinking than while opening the wrap. So what's next? They will eat and drink for me? Aish, I don't know. I like it and dislike it at the same time. I'm too fickle these days.

   Back at home, and by home I mean Hye Ji's house, the time had come. Shower time.

   I turned down a lot of offers to have someone bathing me, but I did get help to wrap my casts with plastic bags.

   Taking a shower had never been so difficult. It took me more than one hour to finish. Washing your hair with only one hand is really tiresome. And besides, I couldn't even move properly because of my ribs.

   The best part of it? Or the worst, I'm not really sure. Dae Hyun dried my hair. We were in silence due to the hair drier's noise, but we had some time to talk afterwards.

   "Did you really mean it?" I asked in a low tone while he helped me lie on my bed.

   "What?" He covered me with the blanket without looking into my eyes.

   "Are we really over?" I stared at him while he avoided me a little more.

   "I'll be right back." And he left.

   I sighed. I guess that was a yes. I guess I'll have to go back home. My home. With Hee Yeon. Damn it. I will go back to my maid routine. Mommy, what should I do? I hoped to visit you a lot more with that guy in the future.

   "Here." Dae Hyun came back without me noticing and laid a teddy bear next to me.

   "What is it for?"

   "I thought about a lot of things before coming here. When I heard you were in a coma because of me, I honestly thought about... well... if you didn't make it, I would leave with you." He stared at me. Probably waiting for a reaction, but I just stayed quiet. "But then, during the flight, your mother appeared in my dream. She said 'What are you doing, Jung Dae Hyun? You should be taking care of her.' So I woke up and realized I don't deserve to have you by my side." He sighed and looked down. "I was planning to leave this world even if you stayed. Without me, your life would be a lot better, I thought." Once again, he looked at me, but I didn't show any kind of reaction. "You know, your mom gave me this teddy bear when I was four. On the same day she asked me to make sure you would always be happy." I turned my eyes to the teddy bear in army clothes and then turned them back to Dae Hyun. "She gave me this bear and told me to give it to you when I left to the army, so that I would still be with you in a way. Protecting you, even from afar." I looked down. Mentioning my mom never makes me happy. "I was planning to...erm...to...bury it with you...if the worst happened. So that you would have a little of your mom with you forever. And a little of myself.. Damn, I sound selfish now. Saying you would have a piece of me forever after saying I don't deserve you." He sighed again. "But after my dream, I wasn't even worried if you would survive or not. I could only think about the best way of...suiciding. My plan was to see you for the last time and, well, leave. But you looked so fragile on that hospital bed that I couldn't simply leave. Thankfully you didn't take that long to wake up. When I said we should break up, I wanted to free you. So that you wouldn't feel attached to me and would be able to move on. This bear was supposed to be the last memory you would keep of me."

  I didn't think twice. I threw the bear against the wall with all the strength I had left in my feeble body. "Don't you dare give me a teddy bear because you are planning to kill yourself. If you do it, I will do it as well."