http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pkb9uyPC-Rk

- Lea Michele

What can you do when your good isn't good enough

And all that you touch tumbles down?

Cause my best intentions keep making a mess of things

I just want to fix it somehow, how many times will take?

How many times will it take for me, to get it right?

Ji Hyo’s POV

I stared absentmindedly at the same page of a new novel Jongup bought me a few days ago. No matter how hard I tried to concentrate on it, my mind couldn't register what I was reading. It was just a blur of words.

“Too many thoughts on your mind, I suppose,” would be what my mother would’ve said whenever I told her my dilemma back when I was little and then my father would try to clear my mind by sparking up a conversation with me for a bit.

My parents.

The thought of them sent mixed feelings into my heart.

It was an odd blend of both bitterness and sadness.

On one hand, a portion of my heart had a faint hatred towards them for discriminating Daehyun oppa like that one year ago when I met up with them. It sickened me, really. How they thought so lowly of other people just because they had more wealth than them. Who gave them the right to judge a person based on the amount of heritage they possessed? And the worst part was, they were right! They were right about Daehyun oppa having to study hard. They were right about how much of a distraction I am to him. They were even right about him struggling with college funds!

But then again, they are my parents. The two people who has known me ever since I was born. The only two people who will ever know about my past. They made me the girl I am today. They were the ones taught me integrity, grace and elegance. They are my parents. They are the reason I exist. Sure, they were workaholics. But that was only so that I wouldn’t have to be like that in the future. And no matter how much they have offended me, I still love them. I love them and I miss them.

With a heavy heart, a deep sigh escaped my lips as my head began to pound due to all my over thinking. Giving up on any hope of reading anything at that moment, I propped the still brand new, rarely touched book onto my wooden bedside table and laid there on my bed whilst staring numbly at the ceiling.

And then, to make my migraine worst than it already was, there was a firm knock on the door.

“What?” I snapped, massaging my temples with my thumb and index finger in the process.

“It’s me, Youngjae. Can I come in?” the muffled voice from the other side asked through the locked door.

“And if I say no?” I rolled my eyes and remained on my bed.

“I’ll just ask Himchan hyung for the key then.” I could’ve practically heard that blood boiling smirk of his through the door.

I ripped the door open reluctantly and glared hard at him. “What?” I repeated myself through gritted teeth.

“Do you know how unattractive that is?” He flicked my forehead. “What does Daehyun even see in you?” he mumbled to himself.

“I heard that!” I stopped halfway as I was making my way back to my comfortable bed and shot another dagger-like glare his way.

“Heard what?” Youngjae cooed innocently and batted his eye lashes mockingly.

“Look, Youngjae, if you’re here to bicker with me, now isn’t a good time okay?” I said wearily, feeling my headache getting worse by the minute.

His face then grew serious and he replied, “Actually, there is something I have to tell you.”

“Hm?” I hummed, not catching on the seriousness in his tone.

“It’s about Daehyun,” he added on grimly.

Panic rose from my chest and made my heart beat faster at the sound of his name. “What about Daehyun oppa? What’s wrong with him? Is he alright?” I practically interrogated him.

“Calm down Ji Hyo,” Youngjae's eyes went wide.

“Well is he?”

“Yes yes yes. Daehyun is perfectly fine.”

Relief washed over me and my lips formed a small smile.

“But . . .” Youngjae began.

“But?” my alarmed expression came back to my face.

Youngjae then opened his mouth to say something but then closed it. A few seconds later he did it again. And again.  And again. But he said nothing.

“Youngjae, you aren’t a fish just say what you want to say,” I crossed my arm in annoyance.

“Do you love Daehyun?” he blurted out instantly.

“Of course I do,” I tried to keep a straight face and replied nonchalantly.

“Ji Hyo, do you really love him?” be emphasized on the word ‘really’.

“Yes I do! What kind of question is that?”

“You didn’t have to get defensive . . .”

“I am not getting defensive!” I stomped foot as anger boiled inside of me.

“Ji Hyo, stop pretending. I know you kissed Zelo, okay?” Youngjae snarled suddenly.

“What? No! You're lying!” I shot back. How did he find out?

“No, you’re lying,” he pointed out accusingly.

Defeated, I hung my head low and was too guilty to make eye contact with Youngjae. There was a long pause but I still didn’t dare to look up. After what seemed like half an hour of painful silence, I finally tilted my head upwards, expecting Youngjae to already be gone, looking for Daehyun. But to my surprise, he was still there — staring at me.

“You — you’re not going to tell Daehyun?” I chewed my bottom lip nervously as a force of habit. Don’t tell him, don’t tell him.

“No. I believe that’s your job, not mine,” he shook his head solemnly.

“How do you know about the kiss anyways?” I flinched in pain when I said the word ‘kiss’.

It was almost as if I could feel Zelo’s lips on mine again and it made me shudder with a sense of thrill and also guilt.

“Oh . . . uhh . . . I . . . uhh saw you kiss him. Yeah, that’s right," Youngjae replied me with a few small nods.

“Oh.”

“Look, there something you should know about Daehyun,” he said out of the blue. “Has he ever told you about his friend Mi Young?” he asked and I shook my head in response. Youngjae’s face turned into story telling mode, indirectly telling me to keep quiet and listen.

“Well, em, she was his first love. They never got together or anything. But deep inside of their hearts, they both knew they had feelings for each other.”

“When did they meet?” I couldn’t help but ask.

Shooting me a look of annoyance, he replied, “They sat next to each other when they were five and they became best friends, okay?”

“I was just asking, yeesh,” I mumbled to myself.

“As I was saying,” he narrowed his eyes at me and continued, “Daehyun wanted to ask Mi Young to the school’s dance on the final year of middle school. But just as he was about to call her up and ask, he received a text message from Mi Young instead. She said that she was leaving for Japan with her family exactly a day before the dance,” Youngjae shook his head sadly.

“Then what happened to Daehyun?” I leaned in closer out of curiosity.

“Daehyun hyung? He was broken hearted of course. After that, they still kept in contact by writing letters to each other. They still do, you know. But Dae wasn’t the same after that. He just lost his only friend. His best friend,” Youngjae emphasized on the word ‘best’.

“Lucky for him, that was when B.A.P came into the picture. All of us have been in the same school all this while. Before Mi Young left, B.A.P was just me, Jongup, Zelo, Himchan hyung and Yongguk hyung. We all knew that Daehyun was in love with Mi Young and vice versa. So when she went to Japan, we decided to be Daehyun’s new friends,” he gave a nostalgic smile. “And then, he met you.”

“M – Me?” I blinked a couple of times and pointed to myself.

“Yes, you,” Youngjae rolled his eyes. “Daehyun used to be cold and distant towards girls. But to you, he’s more open. He smiles a bit wider, laughs a bit louder, talks a bit more when you’re with him. It was obvious to the rest of us that because of you, he finally got over Mi Young.”

I could only gape at him.

“So now that I’ve told you this, answer my question again, do you really love Daehyun hyung?” Youngjae’s stern expression he had on previously was back.

“Truthfully,” I took a deep breath. “No.”

Nodding out of understanding, Youngjae began to make his way out of my room.

“Ya – Yah! Where are you going?”

“To leave you alone,” he simply replied. “Wasn’t that what you wanted just now?”

“B – But . . . Daehyun oppa . . .”

“I’m not going to tell him, don’t worry,” he chuckled bitterly. “But here’s a word of advice: if you really do love Junhong more, I suggest you break up with Daehyun before things get worse,” Youngjae ruffled my hair lightly and exited my room, closing the door behind him.

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Aww, JaeJae ):

Orz, anyway, um, I won't be updating my Just Like Neverland fic until this fic is almost complete so um yeah ^v^