At the end of the event, Luhan requested if he could take Ji Eun to her home instead and much to his relief, the girl agreed. She always does anyway.

On their way to her house, the both of them was wrapped by utter silence. It is acceptable that the reason is they're tired but somehow, it is also because Luhan's mind was so occupied with things that he awfully wanted to escape while Ji Eun, on the other hand, was just looking at the streets they pass by. To her, it was probably one of the most magical events that happened to her because that night was something that made her feel that she's truly accepted. That night, she felt her value to every people she knew in this world especially Luhan who stayed beside her almost throughout the event. Tonight was surely something that was bursting with love, smiles, and wild beating of hearts.

When the car finally stopped, Luhan opened the door for Ji Eun and when he stared at her as she walked out, Luhan bit his lip. Something inside him wants to overflow. Maybe it's anger, fear, or maybe tears.

Ji Eun stepped out and after that, the two of them stayed rooted on the ground.

No words were said but there was an invisible force that connects the both of them just by looking at each other's eyes. It was an indescribable force that can connect them without using any physical contact or languages.

They have no idea on how many seconds that passed and when Ji Eun smiled, she took the initiative to speak. "Tonight is surely something memorable. Thank you, Luhan."

Hearing her statement, Luhan pursed his lips and took in a deep breath. "Indeed. Thank you too."

Ji Eun nodded at his response and just to escape the awkwardness in between, the latter sighed. "Well...so I guess I need to go now. Have a good night."

The boy stared at her and didn't mutter any word which Ji Eun took as a 'yes but however, just as she was about to walk towards the doorbell, Luhan suddenly held her wrist and before Ji Eun could take a hold of what just happened, she was already wrapped between his arms.

It took him a second to just embrace her but that moment was worthy for a lifetime memory. 

Surprised at his sudden action, Ji Eun hesitantly wrapped her arms around him too and when she did, she could't help the corner of her lips from curving up. 

Luhan took in her jasmine scent and how soft her hair was. He took in everything that always reminds him of her as if he was putting it inside a box for granted. He was taking it in because he knew that that imaginary box will contain all of the idyllic moments and things that will remind him of the girl who put his mind in absolute jeopardy.

"You're an amazing woman, Ji Eun." Luhan just said out of nowhere. "I cannot tell you how privileged I am for letting you enter my life."

Ji Eun was still, somehow nervous at the fact that maybe Luhan could almost her the relentless beating of her heart. She doesn't want to pull away because she was afraid at the possibility that Luhan will see how red her face was.

She was completely savoring the moment. 

She was perfectly on cloud nine where stars and rainbows burst in an awesome yet indescribable way.

Ji Eun doesn't want to let go and because of being selfish of that moment, Ji Eun spoke the words that were contained inside her heart. "I love you."

Luhan wanted to break down after hearing those three words that escaped . Bittersweet feelings and emotions made their way inside him and Luhan doesn't have any idea how to control those.

He was overwhelmed because he was sure that this girl in front of him truly loves him  but what hurt him was the fact that he doesn't deserve those words because he never loved her in the first place. His intention was just use her--not love her. 

But after all the crazy things that happened, things slowly became out of Luhan's grasp.

Life is truly unpredictable.

He's guilty at the fact that he just used her for a stupid and nonsense revenge but somehow, he realized that if it didn't happen, then he will never know how remarkable Ji Eun was.

And for the first time in his life, Luhan let out four words that create butterflies in the stomach towards a girl who is not Minah.

"I love you too."

Beneath the vast night sky that has a myriad of stars, Luhan planted a kiss on her forehead.

It was the first time that Ji Eun heard it from him...and maybe, it will also be the last.

~:~

Luhan went home with a heart that was awfully afraid of the future that lies ahead. 

His house was wrapped in eerie silence when he took his step inside. The chandelier at the living room was the only source of light on the first floor but Luhan doesn't have any care about that. He went upstairs like a lost soul that was having a hard time looking for a destination.

Loosening his tie a bit after removing his shoes, Luhan plopped himself on his bed and felt the washing away of his anxiety and worry.

He heard the unstoppable ticking of the blue clock on his wall and his steady breathing.

It was a dull and an uninteresting sound that matched his boring view which is the ceiling but as he let his thoughts go deeper, he remembered the day when he first met Ji Eun. It is as if his brain became a film that automatically played without using any remote.

He remembered how he paid no attention to the things that she said to the day when he started to became aware and careful around her.

Ji Eun stepped in his life with no shield and armor which revealed her vulnerability to a harmful boy whose desire is to use her just for a revenge.

She was offering him her love and Luhan just played it.

He realized that every single detail that occured between them were still completely vivid just like how clear the ocean is. The memories were still fresh inside his mind as if it all just happened yesterday.

Luhan didn't know how many minutes he settled his gaze on the ceiling and when he finally blinked, he took a deep breath.

*I'm sorry.*

~:~

It was a cold Saturday when a cooling purple veil slowly conquered the sky after the sun finally set. Ji Eun fixed her eyes on herself through the mirror and started to brush her hair that she just blowered a while ago after taking a quick warm bath.

It was a chilly noon and the window panes were beginning to moisten by the cold air. Ji Eun, who was on a sweater, was smiling warmly despite the coldness because of one reason.

Early in the morning, she received a message from Luhan, telling her that they would meet at 5:00 pm at the park near their school.

Ji Eun decided not to request a lift from Soo Ri anymore and preferred to borrow Suzy's bike since she's already familiar with the road that leads to their school. 

After spraying a bit of perfume, Ji Eun gazed at the clock and widened her eyes when she realized that it was already quarter to five.

She hurriedly dragged herself downstairs and grabbed a pair of fuzzy brown boots from the shoe rack. Chanyeol, who was currently settled on one of the couches averted his attention to her with so much curiosity.

"Where are you going?" Chanyeol asked, trying not to sound interesting.

"At the park near the school." Ji Eun responded as she took her small shoulder bag from the table.

And just before Chanyeol could think of another question, Ji Eun walked towards the door. "Bye, see you later!"

After her quick farewell, Chanyeol just shrugged and focused his attention on the TV screen again, wondering what on earth will she do in the park at this hour.

The air was vicious but maybe it that was how Luhan felt it. Ever since he woke up that morning, something heavy inside him started to conquer him which made him uneasy. He knew that this day will be tough and just by imagining how the day will end sent down chills in his spine.

Luhan badly wanted to run away and hide in a shell where no one could ever find him but he's not stupid to believe it. Life doesn't offer secret hideouts for people who are afraid, instead, it offers courage because there is not such thing like turning back. It is a road where there are no U-turns that's why you need to walk ahead and strain forward without fear.

He's the one who started this thing and Luhan knew that it was his responsibility to end it as well.

And ever since he sent a text to Ji Eun that morning, Luhan started to worry on what will happen to Ji Eun.

He reached the park at 4:30 pm and felt relieved when he realized that Ji Eun wasn't still there. The latter took a walk around the place while his mind was totally occupied by things that gave him anxities.

He was wishing to just step out of time and watch the world pass him by but of course, there's no such thing.

There was a cold gush of wind that stung his cheek when Luhan went back to the bench where he was seated a while ago but he didn't took a seat. He just stood before it and took a deep breath.

There were no people around and the only sounds that serenaded Luhan was the rustling of the trees' leaves whenever the wind will blow and the melodies of crickets from a far. Although the place was wrapped in quietness and sanity, Luhan was worried.

He closed his eyes for a while and just listened to the nature's sounds including the beating of his heart. 

The latter doesn't have any idea how time passed and all he knew was when he finally heard his name from a very familiar voice, numbness started to eat his insides. 

Taking in a deep breath, Luhan turned around and saw Ji Eun with a cheery smile on her face. Her cheeks were flushed when she reached him and she was panting heavily as she leaned the bike against the wooden bench.

Luhan tried to gave her a casual nod but it was hard because he knew the main reason why he decided to meet her here.

Ji Eun took a seat on the bench with a jolly and excited attitude because after all, she's been looking forward to this.

It was a torture for Luhan to see her like that. Her smile was relentless along with her glimmering eyes and Luhan can't stand the fact that in a little while, those will be erased by him.

"So what are we doing here?" Ji Eun asked with interesting eyes. "Hey how about we eat at--"

"Ji Eun," Luhan said as he looked at her petite figure. He was standing that time because he doesn't have the courage to be near her again.

"Yeah?" Ji Eun mumbled with a questioning look.

He took in a deep breath and settled his gaze to her constantly while feeling that some of the pieces of his heart were slowly falling.

"Let's break up."

Hearing his words, Ji Eun furrowed her brow cluelessly since she doesn't have any idea what he had just said. "What?"

He doesn't want to be hard on her and he doesn't want to explain any further but his feet stayed rooted on the ground. Luhan pursed his lips and gathered a lot of bravery to not remove his eyes from her. "I don't want us to be together anymore."

Right after telling those words, Ji Eun finally processed everything. The word 'break up' started to seep a hole in her mind as she remembered the days when Chanyeol and Suzy cried because of these two words. 

Ji Eun finally grasped what Luhan was trying to say.

He wanted to break up.

And breaking up means leaving someone behind with a shattered heart.

Those two words have the ability to tear up the bond that was once whole and perfect.

As for Ji Eun, 'break up' is the murderer of happy ever after.

Wishing that she's just hallucinating, Ji Eun chuckled a bit. "Oh O-okay. I don't un--"

"Don't be naive, Ji Eun. I know you know what I mean." Luhan said, trying not to break down in front of her.

Seeing the seriousness basked on his face, Ji Eun started to feel jerkiness making its entrance inside her. She suddenly stood up with wobbly legs as she felt the formulation of tears on the corner of her eyes. "Luhan, you're not funny."

The boy sighed. "Let's just end this..."

"No!" Ji Eun ruptured and held one of his arms. "Y-you told me you love me, remember? Every...everything was fine between us and you even kissed me on the forehead. T-there was nothing wrong, Luhan. Why are you saying such things?"

It was an agony for Luhan to hear her voice shaky and nervous like that and he could even feel the trembling of her hand that was wrapped around his arm. He wanted to get away already so he looked down because he can't bear staring at her watery eyes that was once glimmering and jolly.

"You don't deserve a man like me, Ji Eun."

"Wh--what're you talking about? Of course I des--"

"No." Luhan sternly said while his eyes were glued on the grassy ground. "I didn't love you in the first place."

Hearing his response, Ji Eun caught her breath when she finally felt a single tear fall from her eye. 

"You love me. We did a lot of things together right? Are those just nothing to you?"

Luhan kept quiet and bit his lower lip until he tasted something metallic and realized that he was holding back his tears so hard that it already bled.

Tears were already falling from her eyes as Ji Eun just stared at him. "Wait...i-is it because of Minah? Do you love her more? Is that it?"

Luhan didn't know what to answer because although he wanted to say a lot of things, he can't because it seems like his lips were zipped by an unknown force that made him silent.

Ji Eun started to shake him as she held his arms. "Luhan, you can't do this."

Wanting to end this nightmare, Luhan removed her hands from him and stared at her wet eyes which caused his heart to tear up completely. "I'm sorry, Ji Eun. I'm really sorry."

And with that statement of his, Luhan turned around and never looked back because as soon as he removed his gaze from her, tears fell from his eyes and Luhan swore that he could almost hear the shattering of his very own heart.

He once told himself a few years ago that he will only cry over a girl if she is worth his tears.

So he loves her after all.

Ji Eun shouted his name and wanted to run towards him but she doesn't have any strength anymore so instead, she just watched herself being eaten up by rejection, betrayal and pain.

~:~

It was already seven in the evening when Chanyeol finished his night bath. His hair was damp when he went downstairs along with a book that Soo Ri bought for him upon his request. 

Suzy and Soo Ri were at the mall buying decorations for the near Thanksgiving that's why he was left alone. He looked at the ticking clock on the wall and clicked his tongue. 

After feeling the grumble of his very own stomach, Chanyeol proceeded to the kitchen to prepare something to eat.

He was checking out what's inside the fridge when he heard the gate outside opened but since he knew that it's Ji Eun, he continued what he was doing.

Chanyeol placed some ingredients on the table when the door finally opened. Much to his surprise, he heard her call his name and what made him curious was when he noticed something about her voice. It sounded with so much desperation and longing. 

With a questioning soul, Chanyeol pursed his lips and walked away to go to the living room.

"Hey--"

He just suddenly stopped upon seeing a girl, whom he know was very stong, has swollen eyes and a dejected face. She was crying and when the both of them met gazes, Ji Eun cried  even more.

She just suddenly walked towards him and wrapped her delicate arms around him tightly and let more tears escape through her puffy eyes.

"Ch--chan--yeol."

His shirt quickly got damp and even though Chanyeol doesn't have any idea what happened, he hugged her too. He knew that something was wrong and although he wanted to ask her what's the reason of those tears, he shut his mouth because Chanyeol understood that what she needs right now was a shoulder to cry on--not an interviewer.

"It's alright." Chanyeol mumbled and gently caressed the back of her head.

He heard her gasps and felt her tears but he just let her be because he want her to let it all out. Letting tears escape your eyes can somehow take away some of the burns inside your heart.

"It's alright." Chanyeol repeated just like a mantra and felt suffocated because of what he's hearing. Chanyeol confirmed to himself that seeing her cry like that was one of his greatest weaknesses and he doesn't have any idea why.

Although he's been ignoring her for days, he realized that still cares for her after all.

He didn't know how long they will stay in that position but it didn't matter because he knew that there is a time for everything.

A time to weep and a time to smile.

A time to be quiet and a time to speak.

Ecclesiastes.

FindingSunshine