EUNHYUK’S POV

9th December 2010.

The date we lose the Daesang Award to our junior, So Nyu Shi Dae.

The date that 9 young man’s heart get crumpled.

The date that Eeteuk hyung’s wish crashed.

He wants to win this BADLY!

He worked hard to make our performance tonight looks the best. He even warns us to give all out.

This would be an early present for the ELFs is we win the award. That’s what he said.

Could you imagine how crumpled his heart had been?

Now, I’m not blaming any of the ELF.

They are crying outside right now.

Why did they cry?

Why did they apologies?

We are the one should apologies. We failed to make them happy.

If I could, I want to bow down to them, hugging them and ask them to not cry.

What have we done to our precious ELF?

What have we done to our precious Eeteuk hyung?

Would his wish really come true?

Our only hope is upcoming 5^th album.

What if we failed to grab this award next year too?

That would be the biggest regret of my life.

I won’t even forgive myself if we lose again.

Yess, indeed. We did win something. We won the Disk Bonsang Award & Asian Popularity Awards.

If it’s not because of the ELFs, we won’t win the second award.

ELFs around Asia supports us, but what have we done to make them proud?

Failure. Tears. That’s the only thing we could give them for now.

Donghae patted my back.

“Don’t think too much Hyuk.” His tears still hanging on the corner of his eyes. No, scratch that, his tears keep on flowing.

I wipe his tears.

“You, don’t cry too much.” I said.

He chuckled. “You are the one to talk.” He said and wiped my tears.

Yeaah, I’m crying too.

If you are asking, what makes me cry?

Disappointment. That’s my answer. Plus, I felt sorry for the members and our fans.

“Let’s cry our heart out today, a work harder for our hyung and fans, arasso?” Donghae said. As expected, the telepathy between us is undeniable.

I smiled and nodded.

We stay hugging until manager hyung told that we are going home.

DONGHAE’S POV

It’s a lie if I said, I’m not sad at all that we didn’t win the award right?

It hurts like hell.

Throbbing pain in my heart feels stronger compared to the throbbing pain when Kyu talks about Eun Hye.

Why Eun Hye out of sudden? -____-

Aishh, still, in this situation she’s always be in my mind. Grr.

Back to the topic.

I’m hurt, hyungs are hurt, fans are hurt, and everybody feels hurt.

Almost all of us even cried. Except for Siwon (must be maintaining his manliness), Shindong hyung and the evil maknae Kyuhyun (of course, he has no heart!)

But still, the three of them are disappointed too.

Kyu’s and Siwon’s expression change abruptly when the announcer said SNSD won the award. Siwon couldn’t even smile properly to the camera. Kyu looks bitter too.

At the time they announced SNSD as the winner, some of us went to their table to congratulate them.

Yeah, we are being hypocrite here. Congratulating our dongsaengs but our hearts are bleeding badly.

Heechul hyung didn’t even go to the girls. He just stood at our table, clapping his hands. Not willingly clapping of course. I’m sure he didn’t have the heart to congratulate them when he is obviously unhappy.

I wish I could be like him, but you know, the girls are still our dongsaengs.

The most hypocrite person that night, Leeteuk hyung.

You could see how wide his smile, looking at the girls. Acting like this oppa is very happy for his dongsaengs’ victory. But all of us, even the ELFs, knew that the he is the most disappointed person that night.

I really wish you didn’t act like that hyung. It stings a lot seeing you lying to yourself. Why don’t you just be like Heechul hyung? Just show it that you are not pleased that the girls won.

But that’s our leader, he has a really noble heart that he will do everything to make everyone happy, even he, himself is sad.

Actually, we’ve found out the result few minutes before they announced it. One of SM’s manager has whispered something to Eeteuk hyung and his face immediately change. We forced him to tell us, and he did. And that time, none of us were smiling anymore.

After the event ended, Heechul hyung patted his back and hugged him.

I’m sure Eeteuk hyung is at the edge of dropping off his tears.

I have no guts to comfort him. Let the closest with him do that.

Heechul hyung covered Eeteuk hyung’s face and escorted him inside.

At our dressing room, seven of us cried badly.

We hugged each other in a circle, and comfort each other.

But nothing works, everyone keep on sobbing. Ryeowook’s are eyes completely red.

After sobbing for 30 minutes, we headed to our van.

Fans were waiting for us outside. They keep on chanting, “Oppa, we are sorry!”

That makes my heart sank more.

When our van started to move, some of them even chased us and shouted “Oppa mianhe".

 Ryeowokkie usedhis handphone and typed ‘Komawoyo’ and showed it to the fans through the window.

“Did you tweet something bout this?” I asked Hyuk.

“Yeap, and seems like most of the members tweeted it too.” He said.

I took out my BB and typing out.

I need to make the ELFs feels good. I don’t want them to be sad.

• So much love and concern to us, I really can't stand it and I felt it so much! I'll work harder ^^ Still lack in many things, however you're still gonna be with us, right?! It's already passed ^^ what ELF did is the BEST!! I love you!! I'll work harder in 2011!!

I posted it and rest on Hyuk’s shoulder. I sensed he had cooled down a bit.

“What makes you cool down?” I asked him.

“Nam Ju. She texted me.” Oh now Nam Ju played a bigger role than me. Even I couldn’t coax Hyuk just now.

Maybe someone could make me cool down too? I started to text.

From: Hae T___T

To: Hye

Are you free? Need somebody right now.

Within a minute, she replied.

To: Hae ^^

From: Hae.

We watched the award, cheer up! We’ll be waiting for you guys. Text me when you are guys are home okay.

It would be good if they followed us to the award and she would be by my side now. But they politely reject our offer because their class ended at 7.

I smiled.

She promises to wait for us.

NAM JU’S POV

WHAT THE HELL?

Who is this So Nyu-what? girls?

How could they win instead of Super Junior?

Ghaaah, I hate girls and tears.

SUPER JUNIOR IS THE ONE WHO SHOULD CRY! NOT YOU!

I feel like slapping them even I don’t know who they are.

Okay, okay. Cool down. Eunhyuk wouldn’t like it if he knows I say something bad about the girls since they look close.

“Yah, look at their twitters. They must have posted something!” I nudged Eun Hye who’s still disappointed.

She gets up and took her laptop. She typed something and showed it to me.

“Here’s is Leeteuk’s, Heechul’s, Eunhyuk’s, Donghae’s, and Yesung’s.” She said.

I read Eeteuk’s, he posted about three.

• Thanks for being so hard ... I'm so sorry ... for having voted for your lungs out to cheer a lot of phone bills which would ... ♥..
• My everything, Super Junior..and E.L.F^^ I'll continue to protect you...!!! How happy are we to have tomorrow?^^/ To those who came in this cold weather and everyone who watched us! The love was too warm that I thought it was summerㅋ Let's protect each other I love you..
• I'm not going to sleep today ...

This guy, he’s too nice. I’m sure he’s the most hurt because Hyuk said it’s his wish to win that award. yet, he still with his usual promises? What's with continue to protect us? We are the one who should protect you! And obviously he couldn't sleep, that's why he's not going to sleep. Our leader is having a hard time. 

I then read Heechul’s:

• Heart pain, even to feel upset between that moments, but time must continuously flowing~ However, it's already past, and try to reach the target tomorrow, and congrats Girls~♡to all members, staffs and ELFs we had through many troubles this year together, It's not like we are going to quit this year.  Let's be cool and plan the future go go.

This is totally Heechul. He pointed out that he’s hurt and disappointed. But still, he’s comforting the others.

Eunhyukkie’s:

• Why are you crying

I’m sure you are the one who’s crying right now pabbo yah!

Why is it everyone tries to hide their feelings?

Yesung posted a picture of pearl sapphire blue’s ocean along with his words.

• Thanks, I’m happy because of you.

Why are you so happy? -______-

You should be sad. Don’t comfort your fans if your hearts are shattered.

Those guy. If I don’t really know them, I would think they are stupid. But nope, they are not, they love their ELFs strong enough that makes they don’t want to show them that they are sad.

Sigh.

“Yah, here’s. Sungmin’s cyworld post. A long day has passed. Had rehearsal early, and then went to the press conference, was late and hence had panicked. Saw the many rice & flowers baskets that the fans sent to congrats, felt very touched and happy.. Thank you everyone, thanks to everyone, felt very fulfilled~. Not only Korean fans, even China fans also sent many (gifts), and also Thailand.. Because of the gifts from all over Asia, have thoughts of “definately is our ELF”. Felt that should have done better, didn’t managed to do it so am really really sorry. Also for Golden Disk, performing on stage after so long, felt that the body is going to break. Seeing all these, I don’t know if you guys can feel it… Really thankful to those we have given us so much, but (we are) unable to repay to everyone..Sorry… Don’t think that you owe us apologies~ Why (are you) crying… We felt more sorry/ apologetic~ Thank you everyone~ Next time also have to be like this, to complete an even bigger thing~ I love you all! Our ELF, my people!” She reads it with teary eyes.

Seriously, who wouldn’t be moved by this? I’m sure everyone is touched.

I feel like wanna kick Sungmin’s head and shouted “What the hell are you sorry for?"

Ghaaah, I really can’t stand all those nice guys. Seeing them like that, I couldn’t help but feels hurt.

“It’s hurt right?” Eun Hye asked.

Is she my twin or what? o_____O

I nodded. She keeps on searching news bout the boys.

I took my handphone and texted.

To: Lee Hyukjae

From: Eunhyuk’s former nurse.

Eunhyukkie? *peeks* Kwechana?

BEEP BEEP

From: Eunhyuk

To: Nam Ju

Un-kwenchanta. I’m down to the earth.

I knew it! I texted him back.

To: Hyuk

From: Nam Ju

Yaah, hold on there. It’s not the end of your career. Cheer up! Should we meet up after this? I’ll do anything to heal your wounds (since I’m your nurse.) LEE HYUKJAE, himnae! Whatever happened, you guys are still the best in our heart <33 And I promis to buy tonnes of you guys next album to make you guys win next year!

BEEP BEEP

From: Hyuk

To: Ju

Do I read what I’ve read? Cha Nam Ju gave me a ‘heart’? kekeke. Arasso, since you said so. I’ll try to cheer up a bit. And I’ll inform you when we’re home. ^^

That’s my Hyukjae. Opps, no, that’s the Hyukjae I know. :))

 ***************************

Uri oppas lose! I’m very sad! I’m down to the earth. I cried looking at their expressions when they announced it. I’m hurt reading the entries. Did you read? Sungmin said his body feels like going to break? Pity him. I’m hurt seeing uri oppas pretending to be okay just not to make us worried. I’ll be glad if they showed how disappointed they are. T_______T

What makes my heart sank more, Eeteuk. He seemed very powerful at their performance. It’s sad to look him pretending to be happy for the girls, it’s sad to see his beautiful smiles just fade away after the event ended.

I’M A BAD ELF THAT COULD DO NOTHING TO MAKE OUR OPPAS HAPPY! TT.TT