Standing before the crowd, she nodded as a handful of male lycans stood proudly awaitng the next trial. She recognized a few Alpha Jiyong, Beta Seungri, Taeyang, and even an old classmate Kai. But the rest she figured had caught wind of whoever spoke her name out loud. Nodding to the group, she gazed back out into the crowd. "Today I will announce the next trial which is the trial of breaking the barrier. Each of you will have a chance with me to break through my blockaid in my mind. If you can communicate with me you move on. Now who will be daring enough to go first?" 

All of them moved forward causing the crowd to roar with excitement. "Fine, you," she pointed to Beta Seungri. "Follow me into the mansion," she instructed as she turned to take her leave. Allowing the doors to be opened for her, she walked into the large hall and sat upon her throne as she watched Beta Seungri enter. When the doors were closed she let out a sigh of relief, "Beta Seungri what are you doing here?" 

"I heard you were captured and taken away to this God forsaken place. How can those Crimson Crawlers be so careless to let you slip through their fingers," he spoke with disgust. "Minzy stop playing God and let's return home." 

"I'm not playing anything. Didn't I tell you that I could take care of myself," she countered. "I don't need your help. It is Alpha Daesung who is the one that needs your assistance in returning his brother back to him. Taeyang is the only flesh and blood he has alive. Both of you need to go back." 

"Alpha Daesung sent me out here with Taeyang, the stubborn idiot," Beta Seungri huffed. "He's determined to bring you back to our pack lands." 

Thinking on Beta Seungri's words she beckoned for him to moved forward. When he was only mere inches from her, she sighed as she closed her eyes, "Break through my blockaid and I will return without a fight." Closing her eyes, she placed an invisible shield on her mind. 

Beta Seungri sighed as he focused his energy and stared at the woman who sat content with her eyes closed. Mentally fighting the shield, he began to break a sweat as he kept using his energy to try and push at the shield. It appeared to be not be affected one bit as he grunted to fail time and time again. "I can't," he breathed mentally exhausted. 

"Then that is my answer to you. Please leave and let Taeyang enter," she said simply. Beta Seungri left with a heavy heart as Taeyang entered. He grinned but she in turn kept a straight face, "Why have you sought me out?" 

"It's what family does," he responded boldly. 

"You left your family back at the Night Walker. Don't be this way Taeyang. Please return to the packlands. I will take care of this myself," she said firmly. 

"But what of my try for this trial," he tried to say. 

But she was too determined, "I could never consider you. We're family in your eyes and most importantly you remind me of what I can never have." 

Her words sounded pain-filled as he sighed deeply, "I understand." 

"Then please take Kai with you as well. I don't understand what he was thinking following you two out here," she shook her head. "The Night Walker pack needs all the lycans they can get after such a war." 

"He came on his own," Taeyang shrugged as he turned to leave. 

When Kai entered she couldn't help but grin. He looked like he had matured a bit, but still had that boyish face. They didn't interact much, just friendly smiles as they passed one another from time to time. But that was the bulk of their relationship if you could call that one. "Are you lost," she asked curiously. 

He gave her a knowing smile, "No I've come to see if I could win your hand." 

"Why?" 

"How about I answer your question if I can pass the trial," he offered. 

"Okay," she nodded as she exhaled deeply and placed the shield around her mind. Focusing all her energy into protecting her mind, she didn't notice how he had moved towards her. Descending to where he was only a breath away, he softly breathed her name. The warmth of his breath brushing against her lips startled her as she opened her eyes to be staring at his piercing dark eyes. 

I'm taking my shot since I missed it years ago. 

"Okay," she breathed feeling her cheeks burn with embarassment. "You can move on to the next trial," she mumbled and was relieved to have him move away. Fanning herself as Alpha Jiyong came walking in, she exhaled deeply as she nodded at him, "Hello..." 

"Did he touch you," he cut her off quickly. The fury burning in his eyes made her feel a bit uneasy.

"Uh...what, no," she shook her head. 

"Really? Because my mark started to tingle causing my wolf to panic," he spoke suspiciously. 

She rolled her eyes and waved it off, "He didn't. Now are we going to do the trial or not?" He could feel how annoyed she was by his accusations and decided to close his mouth. It was very interesting to feel her emotions and wondered if he bit her that she would feel him too. "I apologize that you're feeling the things that I feel. In the first few days it is hard to filter out what the other person is feeling and thinking. But in time and without fuel it will feel less intense and more like a passing thought."

"Is that how it was with Youngbae? Did he become a passing thought," he asked. 

She felt a tug at her heart strings. She couldn't lie, nor did she feel the need to, "No he's not a passing thought. It's hard to describe." Staring into his eyes, she let her feelings flow through her and watched as he stiffened. Clenching his fists before her, she suddenly blocked it from overwhelming him. "When you mate with someone it's like your soul is interwoven with theirs. Severing such a bond is like ripping your soul in two." 

Yanking his shirt off, he stood with her mark proudly on his chest, "Then let me be the one to mend your soul. Your wolf has chosen me and now it's up to you."

"What about you? What about your soul that needs mending from your late Luna," she tried to say hoping that he would remember that he had a beloved Luna he yearned for. 

"Is that the only fault you find in me that I once loved another woman," Alpha Jiyong asked sadly. "If you're asking me to put her out of my heart I can't do that." 

She was up on her feet and in front of him in an instant. Softly pressing her hand against the mark, she gazed into his starry eyes and looked at him apologetically as his breath caught in his throat, "I could never tell you to put the woman you love out of your heart. I just want you to understand that for that very reason I could never ask you to be my mate." She paused as she glanced down at the mark that her wolf whined and whimpered for her to not say the words she was thinking. "Please let me heal this mark. It'll help you..."

Alpha Jiyong placed his hand upon hers and let out a sigh of relief. Her touch eased his heavy heart, "No I refuse to let you take the only thing that makes sense to me." 

Reaching up to cup his face with her free hand, she stared into those starry eyes that twinkled down at her, "The mark is potent, it'll make you feel that way. But I promise you that after I heal it you will no longer feel what you think you're feeling." 

"How many times do I have to tell you that I want to keep it," he growled in offense. Cupping her face in his large hands, he stared deep into her lavender eyes, "Give me the trial or let me mark you." 

She couldn't help how her stomch did flips at his demands. His firm, yet gentle touch didn't help either as she exhaled and closed her eyes. Shielding her mind she stood quietly as she awaited his attack. The sudden feel of his lips brushing against hers made her come to as her defenses went down and she was quickly moving away from him. "What was that," she looked at him accusingly.

It looks like I just won this trial, he smirked as he turned to leave. 

She groaned as she smacked her hand against her head. She had to make sure that the next few kept their distance. 

Minzy was relieved that she was able to knock out the rest of the competitors after applying the distance rule. Now she only had two left for the third trial as Beta Teddy approached her as she sat upon the throne. "Why are you torturing yourself," he frowned. "Your wolf has chosen someone..." 

"My wolf may be part of me but she did that without my permission," her wolf whimpered at how she was still being placed on time out. 

He went quiet as he sought another approach, "Can you really call yourself a healer if you haven't healed yourself?" 

"I didn't ask for this gift. It was given to me..." 

"Then why not use the gift for yourself for once. It's not selfish to want to heal yourself," Beta Teddy tried to advise her. 

"And what if I don't want to heal? What if I just can't," she looked at him desperately. "I don't deserve to be a leader or Alpha. I'm a coward. I'm too scared to let someone back into my life," she said sadly. "Even though I've released Youngbae from our bond I still hold onto it because I still love him like the fool that I am." 

Beta Teddy stood quietly as he took in her words, "Loving someone doesn't mean that you're a coward. And just because you've loved someone before doesn't mean you can't love someone now."

"How about I just let one of them unscent me? Will that be good enough," she huffed out in frustration as the tears started to swell in her eyes. 

"Will that be good enough for you," he countered. "Though I haven't known you for long something tells me that you're not that kind of person."

"Then what kind of person am I," she asked. 

Beta Teddy knew she wasn't really asking him. Her eyes shone with insecurities and pain. He knew any answer would turn sour as he held his tongue. "Please get some rest, the trials seem to be taking a toll on you." 

Minzy was grateful to be left alone as she crumbled to the floor and cried. She needed time to pull herself together. 

It was noon day, with the sun at its highest peak above the forbidden city where everyone stood anxiously awaiting Minzy with the last two competitors standing in the middle of it. As she walked up, the crowd cheered as she gazed at the two men before looking out at the crowd. "Today I have decided to have trial three and four performed one right after the other." The pleased crowd became lively as she continue to speak. "For the third trial it will be combat." The two men turned to face each other as the crowd circled about them and cheered. "The fight will go until one submits to the other or if I have declared the winner."

"Not to the death," someone from the crowd called out in disappointment. 

The comment made her hiss in annoyance. Why would she put either men in such a position? Her life wasn't worth them losing their very own. "To the death," Alpha Jiyong growled as he gazed over to Minzy to contradict her train of thought which in turn made the crowd chant along with him.

"To the death," the crowd kept taunting Minzy. 

"To the death," Kai nodded to agree which made Minzy's heart drop. 

"Fight to the death," Beta Teddy called to them knowing Minzy would try and say other wise. It was too late for them to take back their word, when spoken lycans lived by what they said. 

Alpha Jiyong and Kai quickly shifted into their wolf forms before circling to size each other up. Meanwhile Minzy sat holding her breath, thinking that it was so stupid they would do such a thing. Her thoughts had Alpha Jiyong snarling as he was the first to launch his attack. His movements were quick and precise while Kai's was more sporadic and unpredictable. The bone crushing sounds of bodies crashing into one another had the crowd cheering loudly. But Minzy sat quietly watching as the two tore at each other with no reguard for the other. Gripping the throne tightly she held her breath. She couldn't dishonor such a horrific combat as she watched Kai rip through Alpha Jiyong's back right leg. It had only fazed Alpha Jiyong for a split second as he lunged at Kai to recieve multiple claw scratches to his side. Alpha Jiyong in response had focused his attention at Kai's throat and sank his fangs deep into it. Locking his jaw onto Kai's throat as Kai kept clawing viciously at him, Alpha Jiyong held his grip and yanked Kai around. Flinching as Kai continued to fail his attempt to escape, she had had enough as she stood on her feet and walked out towards the circle. "Enough," she growled and Alpha Jiyong's wolf ripped through Kai's throat and spit out the chunk that he had pulled. Kneeling before Kai, she locked gazes with him and was quickly by his side. 

Kai let me heal you, she begged as the door opened to him. You don't deserve to die like this. 

Minzy I'm dying with honor. Now I can go and be with my mate, he sheepishly confessed. She had told me that it wasn't my time yet, but what can I say I'm a stubborn man. When I had lost her in the war with the Crimson Crawlers I had harbored a hate for their Alpha and found this as my only alternative of trying to avenge my sweet mate. Please forgive me for using you to get to him. And don't be sad for me, I'm going to be with my mate now. He said proudly as he whole heartedly embraced the Other Side. 

Coming out of the mindlink, she closed his eyes as he turned to the lycan who awaited the last trial. Sighing deeply, she looked into those starry eyes and tried to sum up the strength to accomplish the last trial. "Your last trial is combat, with me. Best me and victory is yours," she said cooly as she quickly shifted into her wolf form. Are you crazy we can't fight our mate?! 

You chose that, not me! If he really is a worthy mate he will win. Fight him with our full strength and if he does best us then I will concede.

Fine, her wolf circled as she could see the conflict in Alpha Jiyong's eyes. It was in that moment that her wolf hit him with full force. Knocking him to the ground a couple feet away, she growled and snapped for him to fight her. But instead he stood on his feet and submit to her. What happened to, "to the death?" she taunted him as she rushed him and bit into his shoulder. Fight me, she hissed as she pounced him with her paws on his chest. Seeing the mark on his chest, she stood conflicted as she looked around to see that everyone looked at her as if she were in the wrong. 

"The trials are over," Beta Teddy called out. "He has conceded and in doing so failed to complete the final trial." 

Shifting back to her human like form when given a cloak, she glared down at Alpha Jiyong who had Dara by his side. She had placed a cloak to cover his indecency as he too shifted back and badly beaten. "Why didn't you fight me," she growled as she knelt by him. Shaking her head in disbelief she reached out to try and heal him but he held his hand up to stay her. 

"Don't use your powers on me, it will shame me even further," he coughed. 

"Don't be so prideful," she rolled her eyes as she reached out to him. 

But he caught her wrist and stared at her with a hard look, "Let me have a little pride since I can't have you." Releasing her wrist, he looked over to Dara, "Let's return home." 

Minzy you are worse than me, Dara shook her head as she helped Alpha Jiyong to his feet. 

Minzy knew she was horrible, but what could she do when she was being pressured? Quietly watching Alpha Jiyong limp away with Dara, she was torn as to what to do. She wanted to go after him and apologize, but at the same time doing so would only wound his pride even more. The weight of guilt she felt towards Alpha Jiyong was nearly unbearable as she made her way back to the mansion. Staring off into the direction where Alpha Jiyong and Dara had walked off in, she was too occupied in her thoughts to notice Beta Teddy walking in to stand along side her.

"Very clever to make the trials impossible to complete," Beta Teddy spoke up to pull her out of her thoughts. "I would say it's pure genius, but the look you're giving says it was pure stupidity."

She cringed as her gaze dropped to the ground. "He probably hates me now."

"Isn't that what you wanted," he asked, knowing the answer to his own question. 

She cleared as she wiped at a stray tear, "Yes, I did want that."

"Want what," he asked to make sure she knew what she was saying. 

"I didn't want...to be second to anyone, always doubting myself and the person I'm with," she felt the tears sting her eyes as they fell freely. "I can't mate again. I'm just repeating the same mistake that will for sure kill me." 

"You can't be killed that easily, you have gifts from the Gods!" He could no longer hold back what he had seen, "You love him but you're being a real coward right now. Don't hide behind your past Minzy. It's killing you!" 

"I barely even know him," she huffed. "I need some time to clear my thoughts. Take lead, I'm going out," she cut the conversation short as she took her leave. She blocked out his warning to stay within the city walls as she walked out into the dessert consumed in her thoughts. 

Minzy couldn't bare the guilt that weighed heavy on her mind as she aimlessly roamed the dessert planes. She couldn't trust her wolf as she stayed in her human form. In fact she couldn't trust anyone, including herself. Shaking the thought, she had walked through the night and well into the morning as she found herself stumbling into a small oasis in the middle of nowhere. She looked at the shrubs and patches of greenary that acted like a covering around the small pond. Her mind must be playing tricks on her she thought as she approached the small piece of heaven. Crouching at the little pond, she grazed it with her finger tips to find it surprisingly cool. Dipping her hand further into the water it began to glow a soft hue of blue. "How," she breathed. 

"What's wrong Minzy you don't believe in miracles," Minzy looked to see the blond angel standing before her with a small smile. 

"I believe in miracles, just not for myself," she said with a heavy heart. 

"You have powers equivilent to a Goddess but it still doesn't please you?" 

"I'm grateful to be an instrument..."

"But it's all you feel you're good for? Like your powers are an add-on to your on going punishment," the blond asked as if tryinng to guess what was on her mind. Meanwhile Minzy stayed quietly reflecting on her words. "Do you know why we didn't erase your memories?"

"Because...then you're stealing a part of me," she said in a questioning manner.

The woman grinned, "Correct, the powers you have heal others, but does not take away their memories of how they experienced such pain. Without the understanding of pain one cannot fully appreciate what joy and peace are." 

"I guess I haven't got to the joy and peace part," Minzy sadly smiled.

"It's because you haven't allowed yourself to. Just like your powers work, it is your choice on whether or not to let it happen," the blond woman said as she sat down dipping her hand into the pond. "Would you like to erase your memories?" 

The offer sounded appealing to say the least. But then again it meant that she wouldn't have any recollection of Youngbae or her parents. Even though she had faced such hardships in her life she wouldn't trade her experiences for the world. "No," she softly breathed as she focused her gaze on the water. 

"So then why can't you love Alpha Jiyong?" 

"Why would he love me? Because he has to," she asked right back. 

"I can assure you that the love he has for you was not out of force. He has come to care for you on his own accord. He's different when it comes to you." 

"What do you mean by that," Minzy asked curiously.

The blond angle pulled her hand out of the water and placed them on her lap as she gazed at Minzy intently, "Minzy...." She waited until Minzy was looking at her. "I have a confession to make. I'm not your guardian angel. I'm Alpha Jiyong's guardian angel."

Minzy was surprised as she gazed away feeling somewhat disappointed, "Oh." 

"But I've come to care for you a great deal because of our connection through Alpha Jiyong..." she began to explain.

"If you're not my guardian angel why are you here then," Minzy said growing frustrated. 

"I know you may be feeling hurt, but that was never my intention. You see my name is Chaerin and I was Alpha Jiyong's Luna," she confessed. Her words hit Minzy with a force that had knocked the wind out of her as she sat speechless. "I begged the Goddess Nivea herself to let me be your guide because I wanted to see who would be replacing me." 

"No one could ever replace you. I'm nothing compared to you. I...I'm just the unfortunate woman who is being cursed to live on with no apparent reason,. I...I'm no one special" Minzy stuttered as the tears began to well in her eyes. 

"Now that is completely false," Chaerin pouted. "If you weren't special you wouldn't be blessed with such powers to heal. If you weren't special you would still bare the mating mark. If you weren't special you wouldn't be the leader of the dessert lycans. And you most definitely wouldn't be someone who I see worthy enough to love my sweet Alpha Jiyong." 

Minzy became a sobbing mess as she shook her head, "I'm not worthy of your sweet Alpha Jiyong. I chased him away."

Chaerin chuckled as she nodded, "I must admit it has been somewhat amusing at the struggle it has been for him to obtain your attention. You haven't made it easy on him." 

She flinched feeling guilty, "I will accept the responsibility of becoming a healer, but I don't know if I can fully accept Alpha Jiyong." 

Chaerin sighed deeply at the stubborn young woman, "The blesings are already given and will not be taken back." 

"But I didn't ask for them," she tried to explain. "Please..."

"You didn't verbally ask for it, but your heart did," Chaerin countered. "Do you remember the dream that Alpha Daesung had shown you?" 

"Of the two young pups," Minzy asked as she visualized the young puppies chasing each other in the field. 

Chaerin nodded, "Minzy you play a vital role in the future of all lycans. This is only the beginning of your story."

"I...I want to believe you," she breathed quietly trying to grasp what Chaerin was telling her. 

"Then believe it and go find the happiness that you so desperately seek," Chaerin grinned as she faded away into the noon day sun light. 

Author's Notes:

Eh, eh, eh, eh 2NE1!!! As I was skimming through this chapter I can't help but realize that even after 21 chapters my girl Minzy is still struggling with self doubt. And it may be a little annoying, but soul breaking and mending is much harder/intense than that of a regular heart break/mending. It's the down fall of being a lycan, you feel things at a more intense level or at least that's what I'm trying to say. It's not that easy moving on for both Jiyong and Minzy. Anyway, now you guys know that Chaerin isn't Minzy's but she's Alpha Jiyong's guardian angel hehe. Hope you guys are enjoying this fic so far. I'll try to skim through the next chapter and post as soon as I can. I just have school starting this week. Thanks again for reading!