Here ya go~

I wrote it in chunks, so it's not perfect. But it's cute. That's all that matters. 

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Paging Dr. Infi! Paging Dr. Infi!

YEOL

"No, you listen to me! I'm the doctor! You're the patient," Infi commanded her willing (until just now) playmate, "And I say that you need a rectal exam! Stat!"

"Ya, and I say that I don't!" Yeol jumped up, covering his , "No way! I don't!"

Since when did this sweet and innocent game turn into this? What was going on? Was he having a nightmare?

No, this was real. Infi was really tugging on his pants and trying to stick her finger up his , "Ya, sit down, Uncle Yeollie! We need to hurry! Hurry! Your will explode any minute now!" 

But before she could, "No, no it won't! I'll be just fine!" he shook her off and bolted, "I don't need a rectal exam, Infi, I promise! And even if my  does explode, I'll be ok! Ok!? Good! Now, Uncle can't play anymore. Bye bye now! Woooohhhyyuunnnn!!!!"

"..Aww..."

JONG

"What!?" Jong gasped, "I'm pregnant!?"

"Yes, I'm positive!" Infi confirmed her diagnosis while closely re-examining her colorful scribbles, "You have a fever, you're cranky, and you're throwing up."

He rapidly blinked a few times, "But Infi men can't get pregnant--."

"It's called M-preg."

"Omo, Infi!? Are you reading fanfict--Gah!" Jong shook his head before he finished that sentence. She's 4, she can't read. But then, how did she know what M-preg meant? "Uwa--?"

And she wasn't done yet, either, "Ne, and you also have an STI too."

"An STI!? Infi, are you sure!? Can't I just have a fever or a headache!? Where are you getting all of this from!?" Jong shook his head in denial. No longer willing to play this game - in utter horror.

When Infi hummed in concerned, "I wish that I wasn't, but it's the sad truth." 

"Woohyun Hyung!! Woohyun Hyung, come here!! WOOHYUN!!!" Damn, Infi was really hitting all those buttons today. This was the fifth time that someone had yelled for him to urgently come get his mischevious daughter this morning. 

When his hyung finally arrived, Jong was hyperventilating, "Ya! Ya, listen to your daughter! Hyung, what are you teaching this child? We were only playing Doctor, but she's all telling me that I'm pregnant and that I have an STI!!"

"Omo, Infi, is this true?" Woohyun gasped. Kneeling down next to his baby girl, "Does Uncle Jongie have an STI?"

"Ga--goddam--" Jong deadpanned. Swallowing his curse words before the little girl heard them. Of course, Woohyun was encouraging this sort of behavior... No wonder it'd gotten out of hand so quickly.

Regardless, Infi maintained character as she eagerly nodded her head, "Ne Daddy, it's true. Uncle Jongie is 4 months pregnant and he has an STI!"

"Uwa? How scary. He needs help immediately!" Woohyun indulged her by grabbing a hold of his dongsaeng and hugging him empathetically.

"Ne, I know," she shouted in response, "He needs a bandaid! Stat!"

"Stat? haha," Woohyun chuckled. Instantly yanking Jong's arm (which was crossed over his chest) and forcing him to receive his treatment.

But it's not like the younger man was about to go willingly. Scolding his annoying hyung, "Ya, I called you here to stop her. Not help her."

"Agh, shhhh," Woohyun jerked his arm closer to Infi again, "Just behave and accept your band-aid."

"But Hyung, she told me that I have an STI!"

"Yeah, so?" Woohyun chuckled, before turning to Infi. "Baby, what kind of STI does Uncle Jongie have?"

"A bad one!" Infi replied.

"A bad one?" Woohyung gasped.

"Ne! He needs 10 CCs, stat!"

"Stat, haha," it wasn't getting old. Woohyun loved hearing her shout "Stat!"

Jong, however, was still unamused as he groaned, "Infi, what are CCs?"

Infi shrugged, "I don't know." As she wrapped a bright pink band-aid around his thumb and pretended to prick it with a needle.

"And, what does STI mean?" Woohyun asked her next, as he wiggled his eyebrows towards Jong - expecting a cute reply. 

Infi pouted for a second in thought, sniffing Jong's hand for some strange reason, "Soft tissue infection." 

"Soft. Tissue. Infection." He was right, Infi had no idea what she was talking about. But Woohyun still wanted to play around with her, "And then STD?" The previous acronym for ually transmitted infections.

"...Scheduled time of departure...that's when you die..or you get stabbed to death."

"Mmmm~ I love you~" Woohyun squeezed her in his arms. 

But Jong didn't, "...I think I'm actually getting sick.." Although, he did actually have a small bruise on the finger that she'd wrapped...

WOOHYUN

Next, it was Woohyun's turn, as he pretended to suddenly fall ill - as soon as Jong'd walked off. Whining, "Oww~ Dr. Infi, I have oos! oos!"

"Omo!?" Infi gasped. Jumping into action, "What's wrong Daddy? Are you ok? Let me see, let me see!"

While he rolled around on the floor, clutching his stomach as if he was having a painful tummyache, "Dr. Infi help me, please~. Stat!"

"Omo, Daddy!?" Infi pulled up Woohyun's shirt to get a better look at his faux-injury, "Uwa~ it's worse than I thought!"

"Omo?" Woohyun halted his thrashing to double-check his own abdomen, "It is!?" Half-heartedly fooled by her convincing outburst.

"Ne, Daddy! You have the Flesh-Eating Virus!"

"Aigoo! Where!?" Alright, dumb question.

"Right there!" she pointed to his bellybutton.

"Uwa!? Right there!? My goodness, Baby. Can you cure me!?"

"Hmm, let's see," Infi pulled her play stethoscope over her ears and placed the metal end to his bellybutton, "I'll need to do some more tests."

"Uwahaha," Woohyun tried not to laugh, but he couldn't help himself. The stethoscope tickled.  

When Infi gasped, "Omo, it's shaking!? Is it moving!? Oh no, Daddy, it's already eating you alive!" Each shake of his stomach - another large chomp of flesh. 

"Pffft! Haha!" Woohyun lost it.

"Ne? Daddy take a deep breath! Deep breaths!"

"Oh, ne? I'm ok," he shook his head while obliging her - in order to recompose himself and get back into character. 

"Omo..."  

"Omo?" he feigned concerned shock, "Omo? Give it to me straight Doc, am I going to live?"

But his daughter only frowned, "It's bad..."

"Bad? How bad?" her daddy rolled over onto his knees and begged.

"Agh.." she sighed, pretending to push up her invisible glasses, "I'm sorry, but you'll need a complete tummy transplant."

"A complete tummy transplant!?"

"Hmm, ne," she nodded her head assertively. 

"Ok! I'll do it!" Woohyun hoped up, in search of a new stomach. "Ah ha! How about this?" he snatched up a plush bunny off of the floor.

To which, Infi instantly agreed, "That's perfect!" as the two of them set out to conduct a very precise surgical procedure. ...Or not. They just fastened the blue stuffed animal to his abdomen, around his shirt - using rope. 

Infi's first choice was duct tape...

Fast-forward to Woohyun pleading for his stitches, aka kisses, to seal his new tummy into place, "Kiss it, kiss my oos. Uwaa~ uwu uwu, my baby girl's so talented! Daddy has a whole new stomach~!"

"Kyayaya," she giggled against his chest as he hugged her tightly.

"Mmmmnnmmm~. Doctor Infi, you saved my life. How can I ever repay you? Ah, I know. I'll become your disciple. I'll follow you around and help you save other people. Ok? Promise!" They pinky swore on it, "Ne, so let's go cure our next patient! Stat!"

"Stat!" Infi squealed before running across their dorm - to seek out her next patient.

Meanwhile, off to the side, Infinite's manager sweatdropped, "You know, you do have work today, right...?"

Not like Woohyun cared, "Reschedule it! You're a capable man!" 

HOYA

"Aigoo, Dr. Daddy, do you see that!?" Infi exclaimed in horror.

"Omo!" Woohyun clasped his hands over his mouth. Mimicking her reaction - as she pointed towards Hoya. 

Who, by the way, was merely enjoying his ham and cheese sandwich, "Ne? See what..?" He looked around and quickly checked his clothes for anything worthy of Infi and Woohyun's shocked faces. But there wasn't anything, "Ne?" finally realizing that Infi was dressed up as a doctor and that it was all make-believe. "Omo, what is it, doctor? Am I dying?"

"Yes!" she shrieked.

"Oh my God!" Swiftly turning on his melodramatic-actor mode, Hoya crumbled to his knees and clenched his chest while crying. "Tell me the truth then, how long do I have to live?"

"Five minutes! Quick, Dr. Daddy, prep the patient!"

"Right away," Woohyun agreed, "But how?" he didn't know what Infi wanted him to do.

"Begasp!" Infi scoffed, "I thought you were an expert, Dr. Daddy! Can't you tell, this man has been impaled!"

"Impaled!? Oh, no!" Woohyun instantly nodded, running to action as he tackled Hoya to the floor, "I can't believe that I missed that! It's so huge! It's like his entire chest, Dr. Infi!"

"Yes, it is!"

Meanwhile, Hoya was struggling not to laugh, "Is it alright if I finish my sandwich while we do this?"

"Ne? Ne~ haha," Woohyun chuckled, "you don't eat with your chest."

Infi blinked twice, "Ne, that's right. You eat with your mouth," caught off guard by her uncle's question. Before pulling out a sharpie pen from inside her doctor's bag. Seconds before using it, without even asking permission, to draw a huge black circle on Hoya's chest. Scribbling in the center.

"Agh..?" Woohyun contemplated scolding her for ruining Hoya's shirt. Declining the action, after quickly exchanging glances with the owner of said-shirt. 

Honestly, Hoya didn't mind too much. It wasn't his favorite shirt...

Next, they both heard Infi say, "Scalpel." And it took Woohyun a second to understand that Infi expected him to hand her said-instrument - with her hand extended out to him.

"Ah? Oh, " he grabbed it out for her - despite the fact that her bag was right behind her. 

"My other thingy."

"Your other thingy."

After that, "Hammer."

"Hammer," he passed it to her as well. Before watching her repeatedly strike the squeaky thing against Hoya's chest. Physically forcing his organs back into place.

Althewhile, Hoya was just enjoying his sandwich while occasionally complaining about pain. "Gah! Doc, I think you put my lung in backward. And, my heart's all the way up into my throat, gah gurk gurk gurgle.." he pretended to flatline.

MYUNGSOO

Woohyun knocked on Myungyeol's apartment, "Soo, are you home?"

"Ne?" Myungsoo opened the door with a  flustered look on his face. His Little Monkey fussing in his arms, "Hyung, do you need anything?"

Woohyun chuckled at the sight of his nephew's red crying face, "Aww is Myungki sad~?"

"..." Myungsoo pouted, "Hyung, I'm sad."

"Haha, well then we're right on time!" his hyung joked. Before squatting down to Infi's height and looking back up at him and striking a cute pose with his own daughter. "Just at the nick of time, it's Dr. Infi and Dr. Daddy, at your service! Stat!"

"Stat!" Infi repeated after him cheerfully. 

"What?" Myungsoo cocked his eyebrows before smiling at Infi's costume, "Ha. Ooh, you came to help me? Really~?" 

"Ne," she jumped up.

"Uwa," Woohyun turned to face his daughter next, "So, Dr. Infi, what's your diagnosis? Why is Myungki so sad~?"

"Hmm," she tilted her head, "Lift me up."

"Omo, you want up?" Woohyun obliged her. Picking her up so that she could be at eye-level with Myungki (in Myungsoo's arms).

"Are you hungry?" she asked as she leaned even closer to her baby cousin.

But Myungki only cried even louder. While shoving his snot-nosed face into his daddy's shoulder to get away from her.

"No? Did you go potty?"

No response again.

"..Oh, I know! You want your teddy!" she instantly decided, "Uncle Myungsoo, where's Teddy?"

"Teddy?" Myungsoo asked.

Which Infi confirmed, "Ne, he wants his teddy! I read his mind!"

"Omo, you can read his mind?" Myungsoo blinked a couple times. Before turning around to go find said-teddybear. Since, why not? He'd tried everything else already. "Uwa!? It worked!?"

Myungki squeezed his favorite stuffed animal with all of his might the second that his daddy gave it to him. Only, it wasn't the bear that did the trick alone. It was the fact that Myungki's pacifier was strapped around its neck - that soothed the poor baby.

"Oh? But why was Monkey's pacifier on his teddy?" Woohyun wondered.

"I...?" Myungsoo tried to remember, "Oh, I know. Yeol tied it to Teddy because Myungki kept throwing it."

"Oh.."

"Ne, he told me that," Infi nodded her head - as if she did, in fact, read Myungki's mind.

"Oh did he?" Woohyun questioned her. Suspicious, and weary of scolding her for lying so brazenly. But he sided against it, again. No harm no foul. However, now it was Myungsoo's turn to be diagnosed by his little physician, so, "Soo-ie, can I hold our monkey for a while now?"

"Oh? Ah, ne," Myungsoo handed over his infant without much hesitation. As Woohyun gently placed Infi back down on the floor - to let her latch onto Myungsoo.

"Come on, Uncle Soo, I'm kidnapping you!"

"Uh, what?" her uncle laughed as she took his hand and led him further into his apartment.

Meanwhile, two, three. Five minutes passed, as Woohyun playfully fed Myungki and his bunny tummy (around his stomach) tiny marshmallows. While Infi busied herself with giving Myungsoo an "intensive" check-up. Including pushing a fake injection needle inside his ear canal, "Ah, oww, Infi." 

When suddenly, Infi cupped her face in pure unadulterated shock, "Oh my God, Uncle Soo! You have mania!"

"Nymph----!!?" Soo gasped, "What!?"

"Pffftt!" and that was it, Woohyun'd finally gone over the edge. Quite literally too, as he toppled backward off of his chair, "What the hell!? Infi!!?"

"Huh?" she looked back at him, "Oh no, Daddy, are you ok? Do you have another oo!?" she freaked out as she ran towards him.

"N-no," he quickly shook his throbbing head, "Agh!" Alright, he'd certainly hit his head, but maybe a real doctor should look at it. Right now, though, he was more concerned about where his daughter was learning these words. As he shouted, "But baby, what did you just say!?" while double-checking that he hadn't accidentally swiped Myungki on the way down. "Ok, good," he hadn't. The baby was just squealing in delight - laughing at him while slapping his hands together.

As Infi reached up to see his new oo for herself. Kissing the pain away, "Does it hurt?"

"Ah? But Infi, look what you did," he gasped while lighting shoving Myungsoo's shoulder. As the other stared off into space after turning ghostly white. "Ya, are you ok?"

However, Infi wasn't too concerned, "It's ok, Dr. Daddy. Turning into a statue is a part of his treatment."

Woohyun fumbled his tongue, "Ah, wha--but. Wait. Hold on a second. But, In-Infi, what do you think mania means?" Alright, he was collecting his thoughts again. Maybe this was another STI? Hopefully. 

"I don't know," she shrugged.

"Then how do you know that Uncle Soo-ie has mania?"

"Because he's pretty."

"Because he's pretty?" Woohyun cocked his eyebrow.

As Infi nodded her head, explaining, "Ne. Uncle Soo's so pretty because he was cursed by a wild nymph! I don't know which one it was, but she's a crafty one though. Cause she made Uncle Soo's so pretty that his fangirls literally go crazy! They're hypnotized by him! It's insane!" she shouted, before muttering to herself, "But he should really be just as ugly as the rest of us trolls..." She was dead serious too.

*Cough cough,* Woohyun flatlined, "What!? Ugly!? We're all ugly!!?"

Alas, "Yes, we're ugly," Infi groaned, "Our whole entire family."

*Dit..dit..dit..* you could hear the wheels glitching in his head, as Infi waved her hands in front of his face to no avail. His sweet baby called him ugly, their "whole entire family."

Inevitably excusing herself from her unresponsive daddy, to return to her pale white (and still equally as unresponsive) patient. After quickly doodling a picture of an ugly ogre onto a piece of paper. Taping it to Soo's face. 

She knew that it was only a temporary fix, however. Seeing as she couldn't draw directly on him with permanent marker...recalling that stern talking to that Infinite's manager had given her the last time that she'd inadvertently "damaged the merchandise." Which left her in a ball of tears on the floor. Which, (un-)coincidentally, later that night, made Gyu leave him a blubbering mess on the floor. "This will have to do for now."

"Agh, ne?" Woohyun finally snapped out of his stupor. Chuckling at his dongsaeng before quickly uploading a picture to Instagram with the caption, "Dr. Infi cured Myungsoo's handsome face." However, "Ok, we should leave Uncle Soo-ie alone now. But why don't we play with Myungki some more until he comes back to us, ok?" 

Yet this time Infi declined, "No, I can't help him no more."

"No more?"

"No.."

"Why not?"

"Because he's a baby. He can't be helped."

"Agh, I think he fainted." 

Ne, Myungsoo'd fainted from a lack of oxygen.

DONGWOO

After Yeol'd returned home to care for Myungki and his unconscious husband, Woohyun and Infi'd set out to capture their next victims. And, yes, they were now designated victims... Since Infi refused to stop mentally scarring everyone.

And next up was Dongwoo.

"Holy Octopus, Dr. Daddy, he's turning into a woman!"

Good thing Woohyun'd underestimated his hyung. As Dongwoo laughed his off in reaction to Infi's outburst, "Am I a stylish woman?"

"Umm..." Infi thought long and hard about this. Since Daddy hadn't taken too kindly to being called ugly just now, "Yes!"

"Yippie!" 

But, how did she come up with that conclusion after only checking his heart rate and temperature? Who knows, this was Infi. Dongwoo would be turning into a woman no matter what his vitals looked like.

Except here's the kicker, "Alright, now to fix this," Infi maniacally rubbed her hands together. "We'll need a sharpie, a set of pliers, a hammer, scissors, two bags of fluid, 20 staples, a C-section and a bucket of dinosaur blood." 

Woohyun gasped, "Ya? But Dr. Infi, don't you think that you're being too drastic!?"

"Why I never, Dr. Daddy? A doctor lives for drama!" Infi gawked back at him.

"Uwa, then should we at least re-check our tests before going into surgery?" he pleaded. Desperation in his voice.

But, "Never!!" Too late, his tiny mad scientist had already tackled her uncle Dongwoo to the floor, "Quick, we need to knock the patient out!" Beating him in the head with her toy hammer.

"Ow, ow, ow!" Dongwoo laughed. When "Wait--No!" he cried out after he'd managed to scurry away. "Wait. Don't fix me! I'm proudly embracing my newfound womanhood!"

"Ne!?" Infi blinked twice.

"Now, where's a dress?" he got up, "Does anyone here have a dress that I can wear? Oh, right, in Yeol's closet!" 

Woohyun died, "I'm out, I'm out," laughing his off. His mind finally snapping under all of the exhaustion. His daughter'd be the death of him. Or any poor random fool who accidentally crossed her path. But he loved her soooo much.

And dedicated to this charade, Dongwoo stayed a woman for the rest of the day. Dressed like and acting like a total rich diva.

Hoya hated him.

GYU

Dr. Daddy wiped the sweat off his forehead, feigning exhaustion from a hard day's work, "Uwa, Dr.Infi, I'm hungry. Aren't you? We deserve a snack."

"Call!" she cheered in response before darting straight into Woogyu's apartment. Straight towards their kitchen.  

But, "Omo, Dr. Infi," Woohyun gasped as he quickly followed after her. Upon noticing his husband asleep on their couch. Maybe snack time could wait~? "Hold on, Doctor. What about this patient right here? Shouldn't we help him too?" 

"Hmm," Infi pouted for a few seconds before shaking her head, "No, leave him alone. He doesn't need surgery."

"Uwa!? But why, Doctor? He looks sick," Woohyun argued back. After already devising up some mischevious fictitious disorder that he'd give his husband. Instead of letting Infi work her magic this time.

But Infi still wasn't interested, for some reason, "No, let's just eat."

"Aww, but why~?" he sniffled.

"Oh? Don't cry Dr. Daddy," Infi pouted, seeing her daddy so upset. As she consoled him by taking his hand in her's. While indirectly hinting at him to open up the cabinet for her and make some pancakes. 

Yet Woohyun still pretended to cry as he did so, "But I want too...Why won't you let me save this patient?"

When Infi finally sighed, "Because, Dr. Daddy...he's dead."

"Hunghk--," Woohyun snorted, holding back his laughter. So, that's why? Gyu was already dead. lol But he had to ask, "Omo, he's dead? But how did he die, Dr. Infi? When?" Because he was asleep?

"Mmnn ne," Infi hummed, slowly nodding her head as she pulled Woohyun down to sit on the floor with her. Why they needed to sit on the cold tiles, Woohyun didn't know, but he let her pull him down with her. As she explained, "Ne, sadly this patient died in bed this morning after refusing treatment... And, that why we can no longer help him..."

*Flashback*

Infi climbed on top of Gyu in bed, stethoscope and reflex hammer in hand. "Mr. Patient, Mr. Patient, it's time to wake up. You need a check-up." 

"Nnnngh," Gyu sleepily groaned as he semi-comprehended that his daughter was playing make-believe first thing in the morning again. "Infi, play with Daddy instead..."

But she wasn't going anywhere, "No~ you're sick, play with me~" and Woohyun was already at work filming a commercial. So, he had to settle this himself as he gently nudged his 4-year-old off of the bed, "It's too early, sweetie. Go back to bed or watch tv.."

"Mmmhhmm~," but Infi still wasn't having. Appa'd play with her whether he liked it or not, "Agh, but you can't tell a doctor to go away. You need to tell me all about your aches and oos so that I can fix them."

Gyu sighed, "...I'm tired, and I can't keep my eyes open."

"Oh?" Infi mouthed, "Then I recommend a good nights sleep."

"Thank you," Gyu smirked, nudging her away again. Alas...

"But Mr. Patient, isn't there anything else?"

"No."

"..I'll check anyway," she went ahead and whacked his elbow with her toy hammer.

"Agh?" that woke him up, as he glared at her. 

When Infi quickly gasped, now that she had his undivided attention  "Oh no, it's worse than I thought! You need surgery, Mr. Patient! You need to get up now! I need to fix this!" Already shoving a thermometer in his mouth and freaking out as she attempted to pull him out of bed. "You're 200 degrees!" 

"Aish, really, Infi?" Gyu scowled as his daughter kept yanking on his arm. This needed to stop. He had to end this. Finally getting out of bed, he picked her up and carried her outside of his bedroom and shut the door.

"Uwa! Begasp!?" she shouted in disgust, "Mr. Patient, how could you!? You need emergency surgery!"

"Too late. I had a . I'm dead now."

"But I can resurrect you!" Infi yelled back through the door, "I know voodoo too!"

*click* he'd locked her out. "Paw Patrol's on!"

"Oh? I'll go watch that and come back later," she finally gave up. 

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Next up, The Myungyeol and Monkey Special!