Merry Christmas, here's some crap!

Also WARNING for graphic depiction!! It's very brief, but rest assured Woohyun's not actually dead! X[

++++++++++

Infi's Therapist to Woogyu very concernedly: "I'm not sure, but...I don't believe that Infi understands the difference between a mushroom and...a potato..."

Flashbacks to earlier that afternoon during her one-on-one session with said-child. Wherein she'd tried to discuss some of Infi's more whimsically violent imaginary friends with her over lunch - in a comfortable environment. While also paying close attention to her creative eating habits. Which at one point devolved into repeatedly punching a baked potato while shouting, "Mush mush mush," and then yeeting it, Shwooom!" clear across the room. ...

Anyway~ back to now.  

Woohyun: Just sweatdrops as his wild imagination took off into space. While Gyu offered to pay for a full-on cleaning service to drop by her office the next morning; refusing to take no as an answer. Regardless, one thing still needed to be said, "Uh...I don't either."

Gyu: Stopping mid-sentence to accusatorily stare at his husband, "Wait, what? Huh? Do you mean that you don't know if she knows either? Or that YOU don't know the difference between the two?"

Woohyun: Frowns, "I...I don't know."

Gyu: Exasperatedly groans at HIS dimwit, "One's a potato and the other's a fungi, Woohyun."

Woohyun: Shrugs, "Is it though?"

Gyu: "Are you seriously suggesting that a potato is just an overgrown fungus?"

Woohyun: Repeats, "Is it though?"

Both Sunggyu and Infi's therapist just sigh in unison at that point. 

Woohyun: "Ya--!? Ya, look at it, they're both brown on the outside and white on the inside! They both grow in the ground and have this chewy--chewiness! They smell similar! Taste similar! Some mushrooms really taste like potatoes too! So it must be a fungus, right!?"

Gyu: Just shouts "Nope, done!" as he then and there began walking back to the car, "I am not even entertaining this!" Because somehow Woohyun'd decided that since ONE mushroom shared SOME similarities with potatoes ALL mushrooms must, in fact, be similar to said-potato. Hence potatoes are fungi.

Woohyun: Chasing after him, "But Hyung--!?" determined to rationalize this awkward hypothesis. Even if Gyu'd lock him out of the house (abandoning him in the snow) thereafter. 

Leaving Infi's therapist behind to mentally figure out how a potato is "chewy," if not grossly under and/or overcooked...

Later on, not necessarily the next day. But later. 

Infi: Impromptedly decides to tell Daddy, "If you die I'll eat you first," (like, literally out of nowhere) as they both played with gigantic Legos on the floor together. 

Woohyun: Gasps, "Wait? Huh?" Blink blink, "--Who else died?"

Infi: Innocently shakes her head as she twists two mismatched pieces together because they won't fit (trying to force it), "No one."

Gyu: Intervenes as he carries over a plate of food-shaped Playdoh, "Don't worry, Woohyun, she's just saying that she'll eat you, first, before anything in our kitchen."

Woohyun: "Oh... Wait--Huh--? Don't--Don't worry!? Hyung--!"

Gyu: Snickers, "Relax baby, it's a compliment, really. She won't let you spoil."

Woohyun: Twitching his eyebrow, still not on this fun boat to hell quite yet, "What am I going to do!? Rot out right here on the living room floor or something!?"

Gyu: Evilly smirks, "We'll grow mushrooms."

Infi: Only now paying attention to her parents' squabbling again, "Yes!"

Woohyun: "Gah...?" Just gives up and pouts from their apparent lack of love and appreciation for him anymore while whining, "...But I'm a potato..."

Gyu: "Aww," jokingly pats his husband on the back, "but you're more than that."

Woohyun: With hopeful eyes, "I am?"

Gyu: "Yeah, you're a HOT potato."

Woohyun: Quickly pulls his into a tight hug just so that he can whisper, " you, Kim Sunggyu," discretely into his ear. 

Gyu: Distinctly cackling as he falls backward, "What, I called you hot? Isn't that what you wanted!?"

Even later on. Maybe a few days have passed.

Infi and Ubi were dancing in a funky monster-faced conga line (with Monkey marching like a little macho man behind them) one night. Both chanting, "I'm ugly, I'm ugly, ug-ug-ug-ugly, yeah! I'm ugly!" to a bouncy beat. 

Hoya: Steps inside the room to check on them while eating a candy bar, "...Why?"

Infi: Freezes mid-motion (right knee lifted up high in the air, both arms out crooked with clenched fists) before creepily announcing, "A witch's power comes from her ugly." And just like that, they all presumed their little ritual, "I'm ugly, I'm ugly, -- ugly!" Mind you, she didn't even look at her uncle during any of this. 

Hoya: "Yo~ ok. No one's dying, I'm out. Yell if you need anything kids."

Ubi: "Ne!"

Hoya: Straight up leaves them be.

Two minutes later.

Hoya: Runs back into the room, "Hold up, Myungki can walk!!?"

Monkey: Instantly falls on his tiny .

Dun dun dun.

Infi: Looks back at him over her shoulder as she drops her arms in defeat, "...I guess I'm not ugly...?"

Hoya: "Huh?"

From that day forward Myungki never walked again. 

Just kidding. But he damn sure made it seem like it. 

Until Yeol managed to trick him with a holographic sticker. But that's another story for another time~. 

Moral of the story, you need potatoes for black magic. Not just ugly.

...Even if the potato is just Daddy. 

Two days later, Ubi approaches Dongwoo with a bag of wild mushrooms, "We need to put these in socks."

Dongwoo: Genuinely more concerned than confused, "Did you eat them..?"

Ubi: Shakes her head no.

Dongwoo: "Do you plan on eating them?"

Ubi: Shakes her head no.

Dongwoo: Relieved, yet sweatdropping, "But are they poisonous?"

Ubi: Stares, "What's poisonous?"

Dongwoo: "Ubi, where did you get those?"

Ubi: "...Are you a narc?" a cop who goes after criminals selling/buying illegal drugs. But is also slang for "snitch."

Dongwoo: "I--?" clears his throat, "Are you a narc?"

Hoya: Steps up and takes the bag away while announcing, "No, I'm the narc." Before handing her a whole new/different bag, "Here, take these Nicki treats instead." Knowing how well she'd receive them. 

Ubi's eyes light up like Christmas, "Uwa, Infi was right!!" and runs straight into her room to shower Nicki with her FREE goodies. 

Dongwoo: "...Infi..."

Hoya: Nods his head, "Infi."

Dongwoo: "...Where'd Ubi learn the word narc..?"