It's tonight!

Movie night, as all of the boys lined up to be individually photographed on the red carpet of a highly anticipated film premiere that winter. Doesn't matter which one. Each all dressed up in either a handsome yet casual suit or turtle neck and trench coat combo. Nice and chic. Elegant and sophisticated. 

Starting off with Sungjong in all of his radiant glory. Followed by Hoya with a cheeky grin on his face. Next up, Yeol in cute glasses. Then Woohyun pretending to be cool. And Myungsoo succeeding at being cool. All, nothing out of the ordinary before continuing on their way - behind a curtain into a private section as they headed into the building.

And then there was Dongwoo. Unexpectantly taking a piece of toast out of his bag as he stepped into view. Before placing it in his mouth and striking a series of wild (unexpected) poses. All ranging from pretending to eat it while throwing up peace signs, to holding it up into the air and shielding his eyes away from if it as if it were the brightest sun itself. 

Gyu, last in line behind him, visibly annoyed as his left eye uncontrollably began to twitch. Not in the least bit amused as he instinctually peered across the way to lock disappointed eyes with his husband. (-.-) Telepathically signaling to him how dead meat both he and Dongwoo were once they all got home that night.

*Days earlier*

Woohyun: Chatting away all hyper-like and cute over the phone with another one of the members of the new little parenting group that they'd just recently joined. "Yes! I'd love to have a playdate at the pool next Wednesday! We can bring grape juice and go over swimming techniques together! Infi will love it! Oooooo~~ I wanna teach her the butterfly ~!"

Gyu: Audibly groaning in the background because just thinking about spending even more time with that group was exhausting. Not that he hated it... It was just that the majority of the new moms in the group were still so young and spry. And, well...as hyperactive as you know who... 

Yeah...Imagine being all alone with 8 Woohyuns, AND screaming toddlers, for hours on end. All rambling on about toys, babies, the latest trends, in-the-know rumors, and (most importantly) their s... While constantly being forced to run all over town with them on "Fun-tastic Learning Adventures" at museums, playgrounds, pools, zoos, and the like. Hell, whole- scavenger hunts! Ugh, but the amount of (and especially new jargon/slang) that he'd been forced to learn practically overnight - just to keep up with them - was jarring. 

Like, , the amount was brain-melting. For example, gangchu (to strongly recommend), poseu itda (to have "the force"), hunnam (a handsome, well-mannered guy), jirinda (so cool), bansa (back at you), daetcheu no-no (that's a no-no), mallep (level 10,000), extra (unnecessarily dramatic), snatched my wig (to be blown away), bet (yes/ok), no cap (to tell the truth), and more. @.@

His only escape, occasionally sneaking off with some of the older fathers as he basked in his "out-dated/old man identity." Where he could fall asleep in the middle of the day and not be judged for it.

Alas, if only for his husband and daughter's sake, Gyu put up with all of it while doing his best to fit in. Mostly... Because seeing little Infi play nicely with the other little kids her age was adorably refreshing. And, the best thing for her social development - as mandated by her court-ordered therapist. 

Back to the present.

Woohyun: Hangs up the phone with, "Bye bye-ie~! I love you~. Not just like. Teehee!"

Gyu: Rolls his eyes at the use of yet another cutesy fad-reference.

*Wednesday - Snapshot of Woogyu at the pool*

Gyu: Playing with Infi in the shallow end while listening to five moms all whine about how Yadong and Ubi rarely ever show up. Honestly, secretly praising that fact as he audibly said the exact opposite out loud. As to not upset them. ...Because adding one Dongwoo to this overly-excited mix was a dead man's wish... Hence, he'd personally (secretively) manipulated Yadong's schedules on more than one occasion to prevent any more such events from happening.

Right now only casually contributing to the conversation about how fun and crazy Dongwoo always is (though not actually). But still energetically enough to be a little cheeky and exercise his newfound linguistic skills too. Like a cocky show-off (poser XD).

When it undoubtedly happened. He'd done ed up. Somewhere in-between trying to fit in, he'd said something stupid. And two seconds later, he knew it.

Woohyun: Just as confused as the rest of them while struggling to decipher his own husband. Alas, after a moment, they all simply laughed and shrugged it off. Nothing major. Just an accidental slip of the tongue for sure. Like, how could he not know what he'd just said?

...Yes, life goes on.

As Gyu slowly dies inside.

*After Leaving The Party*

"Hey, so...toast..?" Woohyun finally asked in private now that they were alone together. After waiting patiently so that he wouldn't look like the idiot of the bunch. Since earlier he'd clearly felt like the only one who couldn't figure it out - even until now. Because, well, everyone else laughed. "Ha...haha..ha..ha..."

Only...Gyu's response was to instantly get unreasonably angry at him. Because, to hell, if he even understood what he'd said! Just...what he'd meant to say! Alas, like Woohyun, he'd be the stupid one for coming clean and telling the truth now. His pride, his worst enemy. So  this I'm out. 

Leaving Wooyhyun in a stupor, "Huh?" as he simply briskly walked off without answering him.

Later on that day, Woohyun tried again. And again, Gyu got upset and avoided him. 

Then again, in the shower - where he was sure that he'd cornered him. 

And, once more while getting ready for bed together. 

Alas, "That's it, your nosey- is sleeping on the couch!!" No deal. 

No matter how hard Woohyun tried, he just couldn't get a straight answer. 

Fed up with this game of cat and mouse the following morning, Woohyun finally had an "Aha!" moment!

Woohyun: Calls Solar. His quirky friend, who knows more current slang phrases than he did.

Solar: Answers the phone with her signature, "So la si do!" introduction from her youtube channel.

Woohyun: Cutting straight to the case, "What's a toast gay?"

Solar: "Toast gay? A gay that likes toast?"

Woohyun: "..."

Solar: "So, what's the punchline?"

Woohyun: "Do you think this is a joke, you radish lesbian!?"

Solar: Bursts out into a fit of laughter before hanging up on him. 

Woohyun: "..."

Last-ditch effort.

Myungsoo: "Toast? Toast..? What does toast have to do with Dongwoo Hyung though? Is it slang for cool? Trendy? Oh! Cheers perhaps!? Cheerful gay!?"

Woohyun: Shrugs, "I don't know. All I know is that toast is..bread-ie. I don't know how it describes someone. I thought that one of you could tell me..." 

Myungsoo: Looks to Yeol.

Yeol: Following that logic, "Toast is toasty. Hot? A hot gay? But why Dongwoo Hyung, of all people? I'm hot."

Jong: "No you're not."

Woohyun: Ignoring the troll, "Toast is also crispy. So a crispy gay?"

Myungsoo: Shudders.

Yeol: "Hold up, hold up. I need context here. When did he say it?"

Woohyun: "Ugh...well, the other moms were talking about how fun Dongwoo is, and then Gyu called him a toast gay..."

Yeol: Stares disapprovingly at him, "Excellent description, Sherlock.."

Woohyun: "Hey, you can't expect me to remember everything!" 

Yeol: "Fine, I'll just look it up." Pulls out his phone to search the Urban Dictionary, "Toast... Doomed!"

Myungsoo: "So, he's a doomed gay?"

Woohyun: "Mmmgghh, but that doesn't make any sense.."

Yeol: "How do you know? You don't even remember the whole conversation."

Woohyun: "Ya, well at least I know that it doesn't make sense!"

Yeol: "..."

Woohyun: "Uwa, come on guys, what kind of slang is this? A toast gay? Toast. Gay. Where did Gyu even hear this ?"

Jong: "Hey guys, maybe it's not slang at all. Maybe Sunggyu Hyung simply misheard someone saying something else and then tried to sound cool using it? And you're all looking in all of the wrong places? Or he's just stupid and made it up? I mean, has he ever sounded hip before?"

Woohyun: "Hmm, maybe..." Blink blink.

Myungsoo: "But what sounds like toast gay?"

Hoya: Who'd just walked into the room, drinking an energy drink after working out, before pulling his headphones off. Just barely catching that last bit, "Totes cray? What the are you teenage brats doing over there? Talk like adults."

Woohyun: "..."

Myungsoo: "..."

Yeol: "..."

Jong: "...Totally crazy."

Woohyun: "Oooooooohhhhhh..."

Yeol: "...Dongwoo is totally crazy..."

*Flash-forward to now*

Dongwoo: Happily continuing on his way after finishing up his allotted 45-second shoot. With his tasty prop sitting deliciously in his mouth, finally ready to be devoured.

Woohyun: Smiling brightly at him even as the fear overtakes his spine. 

Myungsoo: High-fives Dongwoo with one hand the second that he's behind the curtain while using the other one to desperately suppress his laughter. 

Hoya: Snickering quietly as he cutely clings to the back of the curtain while watching just how hard Gyu was visibly struggling to disguise his clear disgust right now. All while stepping forward for his own photoshoot. "He's pissed."

Jong: Filming it all.

Yeol: Making funny faces at Gyu, just to tick him off even more.

As soon as they were all in the building, out of view from any cameramen/paparazzi:

Dongwoo: Enthusiastically shouts, "I'M THE TOAST GAY!!!! BUT IS IT BECAUSE I LOVE TOAST!? I DON'T KNOW!! BWAHAHAHA!!" at the top of his lungs with both arms stretched out high. 

And that's when Gyu murdered him on the spot.

++++++++++

You know when you have a funny punchline and you gotta execute it right? But then you get bogged down with filling in the blanks..? Yeah, that was this time. I could have made this so much shorter, but the set-up wanted to be longer. It just wouldn't let me.