I looked out of the corner of my eye at the famous package. Since this morning, I felt that the cardboard box was taunting me. It begged me to open it and to resist temptation, I had done fourteen push up, had covered it with an old sheet, had put it under my bed and now it lay on the table before me.

Someone important had left this package for Ji Yong. It wasn't from Japan - I checked - but from a girl named Cha Min So. Min So. I didn't know anyone of that name. I bit my little finger's nail. Open or not open. I struggled with myself for a while before deciding. If the doorman felt that he could trust me enough to give me my neighbor package, I could also open it, right?

Happy with my decision, I ran to get scissors and cut off the string that held the whole thing. Pictures. A lot of photos. Of Ji Yong alone, of Ji Yong and Kiko, of... I held back a scream. Of me !! Pictures of Ji Yong and me getting into his car, laughing together in the underground parking of the building, getting into the elevator together. 헐! (Heol! What the ...)

I continued to rummage through the box and my hand met a little heavy metal object. Blood retreated from my face and I felt very frightened suddenly. It was a bullet. There was also a letter. I opened it quickly. I clapped a hand against my mouth. There were drops of blood all over the sheet and the girl told how she was crazy about Ji Yong and how he had betrayed her. Other photos showing how she had cut her skin were in the box.

Suddenly I got up and felt myself wobble. 안돼! 지용 아! (Andwae! Ji Yong-ah! No! Ji Yong!). There was a pass for Music Bank and the picture of a gun. What made me go crazy was the sentence she had written on the back of the photo: 죽을 때까지, 넌 내 꺼야 (Jugeul ddaekkaji, neon naekkeo ya. You're mine t'ill death tear us apart).
안돼! 절대 안돼! (Andwae. Jeoldae andwae. No. Absolutely not). 그런 일 이 없을 것 (Geureon ili eobseun geot! It will not happen).

Without bothering to change, I seized my phone and left my apartment like a crazy person. I tried to stop a taxi but no chance. I started to run, ignoring the gaze of the people around me. Ji Yong, I had to find Ji Yong.

 I had to find them quickly. Still running, I dialed the number again. The phone rang, for a long time. No answer.

I stifled a curse and  unceremoniously shoved people I met on my way. I had to tell them, to tell HIM. I could not let all this happen

• 야 !! 어디로가는지봐! (Ya! Eodiro ganeunji bwa! Hey! Look where you’re going!)

 Without even stopping to apologize, I continued my race to KBS (Korean Broadcast Station). They were there for Music Bank... and she was also there.

I accelerated my pace, tears flowing down my cheeks now. Is it going to end like this? Without me telling him what I felt? Not to mention everything that happened between us? No.

I entered the lobby and was stopped by a security guard. I had to look like a crazy person: a young black woman, panting, with shaggy hair and in pajamas screaming to let her trough.  I was unceremoniously escorted out of the station.

• Anna-ssi ?

I turned and almost jumped at TOP manager’s neck. 

• 매니저 오빠( Maenijeo oppa. Manager Brother)!! I need to see Ji Yong-ah…I have…위험해… ( Wiheomae... It's dangerous..).

I choke on my words. He looked at me from head to toes and nodded. Ten minutes later, I was in front of the recording studio.

• Anna-ssi…I don't think that this is a good idea...maybe if you tell me what's going on..

Without even let him finish, I entered the room. She was already there, I was sure, and she would wait until they go on stage.

• 빅뱅을 환영 합니다!! ( Bigbang eul hwanyeong habnida! Welcome to Big Bang!)

I felt my heart skip a beat. I looked around me, pushing people on the way. Complaints were heard from both sides. Suddenly I stopped. A sense of visceral fear came over me and every hair on my body stood up. I turned my head slowly and I saw her ... and also the gun that she was pointing.

• 안돼!! (Andwae! No!)

I violently shoved people in front of me and leaped on the stage.

• 안돼!! 안돼!! 지용아!!! (Andwae! Andwae! Jiyong-ah! No! No! Ji Yong)

I had the time to see the astonished gaze of the five members of Big Bang, to hear the cries of surprise from the crowd, to feel GD’s arms close in on me before feeling the horrible burn. I could even hear the screams of panic after the second shot left; I could feel GD dump me against the ground to protect me and could even lay one hand on my head to find it moist of blood.

• Anna-yah ! Anna-yah !

I look up with eyes filled with tears to look at Ji Yong.

• You're okay… 난 행복 해 (Nan haembok hae. I’m happy).

I felt my eyes close and my body becomes heavy. GD adjusted his hold on me, pressing a piece of his stage clothes he had rip off against my head and said in a tearful voice.

• 눈을 감고 하지마 (Nuneul gamgo hajima. Don’t close your eyes). 제발 (Jebal. Please)

I would like to keep them open and look at him at my leisure. I haven't saw him for at least three months... I felt myself falling into a black hole. Strangely, it didn't hurt anymore. I could see everything clearly. My brain was still working fine, I could hear Ji Yong crying, feel his hands on me, and I could even feel my heartbeat slowing down. That was amazing. I wanted to chuckle. Those people talking about near death experience were all liars. There was no light coming to me, I did not left my body…there was just cold and darkness. I tried to squeeze Ji Yong hand, nothing. Maybe I was going to die. Yet that did not scare me, Ji Yong was fine, that was the important thing.