Title (3/5)

It’s not a very catchy title, but it suits the story. 


Poster & Background & Trailer (8/10)
I like the poster. It’s simple and reflects what the story’s about. It could use a bit more contrast though.


Description & Foreword (6/10)
Here’s a pet peeve of mine. I especially don’t like it when authors put a character chart in their Foreword. Not only a character chart is redundant -since there’s already a Characters section in the Foreword- but the descriptions in the beginning simply tell about the characters instead of showing who they are. Remember. In writing, showing is always better than telling. You should let your story show who your characters are so that the reader can learn about them by reading your story, thus hooking them into the story itself. The Description was fine. I liked its simplicity and I could tell what the story was gonna be about just by reading that one little quote.

Plot (9/10)
I enjoyed the plot. It’s pretty straightforward with little to no holes and had some great moments that made me laugh. Good job!

Originality (5/10)
It’s a bit of a generic high school romance fic, but then again, there are a lot of fics written about school life. Try to give your fic your own voice, your own style, by exploring different plot devices and themes. Think about what you want to say in your story. What do you want your readers to know? And how do you want your voice to be heard? 


Flow (4/5)
Plot flowed pretty well. 

Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling/Vocabulary (20/30)
Please check your spelling. It’s ‘due to’, not ‘do to’. Oh, and please, please, please, PLEASE refrain from using adverbs whenever possible. You don’t have to say Joon was ‘extremely’ popular. Just popular would let the readers know of his status in high school. An adverb will only kill the effect you want to bring with your writing. 


Writing Style (7/10)
Your writing is good and you can make it even better. I see huge potential. For instance, the beginning was very well written (excluding the spelling and minor grammatical errors) and hooked me into the story. If you could bring that kind of quality to every part, or at least the majority, of your writing, you’d be fantastic.


Overall Enjoyment (8/10)
I liked it. You just need to go back and polish the parts where needed. I think you could really turn this good story into a great one. Good luck!

Total- 70/100

reviewer: indielokimin

A/N: I'm actually satisfied with this score :) Thank you for the review! I'll be sure to credit you on the foreword. :)