AN: PLEASE PLAY HOLD ME TIGHT WHILE READING THE CHAPTER.

I love Jungkook more than anything I have. I can lose anyone right at this moment but not him. He became my world. He lights up my dark skies. He brought sunlight through me. I'm getting better because of him. But getting married? I don't think it's a good idea. He looked at me in the eyes, and I was almost tempted to said yes in his offer. Don't get me wrong, I love him so much. So much! So, so much more than my own life.

"Baby..." My voice was shaking, I don't know how would I say no to such beauty and perfection. His eyes sparkled as if he's going to cry. He tilted his head and I can feel his hurt and confusion as I only look at him. I slowly shook my head, earning a gasp from him. He let go of my hands and looked at me with anger and hurt in his orbs. I shook my head faster as tears continue to run through my eyes. "I..." But he stopped me as he took a step back. He laughed, but his laugh was empty. It was pure mockery. He opened his mouth but nothing came. He bit his lips as he lead his heads towards the sky. Shutting his eyes tightly. I can't stop my tears from falling. He's hurting in front of me! I don't know why I said no, or what happened to me, why am I undecided or unsure of him. I love him so much. But this love scares me. It scares me more than underground fights, it scares me more than losing all my memories all over again, it scares me more than the thought of losing my Mom, my very own Mom! Now, is this healthy? No. I think my life is depending on Jungkook. And his on me. We're too independent to each other. That I fear, we might hurt each other in the near future. We might destroy each other's life and we'll end up falling apart. I don't want that to happen. I want us to be slow and sure! I want us for lifetime, but not this rush.

"J-Jungkook." My voice broke as I called his name. He was standing in front of me, eyes shut and sighing heavily. "I'm sorry it's just that..." I was caught off guard when he stomped so hard. "!" He said and kicked tiny stones in the path. "Damn it Jiri..." He was furious all I see was anger and hurt in his eyes, his eyes were more black and blank, more than when I met him. "Do you ever..." He stopped and I saw a tear run through his left eye. "DO YOU EVER THINK OF ME?! EVEN JUST FOR ONCE?! I HAVE LOVED YOU DEARLY! I SHOWERED YOU WITH EVERYTHING YOU NEEDED! EVEN WANTED?! YOU ARE MY WHOLE ING WORLD! I'M TREATING YOU GOOD. God Jiri, what is the problem?! I am your ing dog Jiri. I AM YOUR ING DOG!" Now he totally lose it. His face was red and I can see his veins through his neck. I sob harder as I shook my head hard. No baby, you need to listen to me. Okay? He laughed again but it turned into sobs and I felt my heart breaking pieces after pieces. As he covered his mouth with his hands and he slowly anchored his other arm on the car, he was crying so hard I can't help but to take a step towards him but he shook his head as he sobbed hard in front of me. "Baby, you need to listen." I was trying to explain but he keeps on shaking his head. "You don't love me that much?! You... you're not sure of me?! I AM SO ING SURE OF THE ING YOU!"

"How can you turn me down?" His voice was low and tired, his eyes were full of tears and he looks so broken. I don't care. I don't care about anything else right now! All I know is that I was dying to see him like this. "I love you so much. I love you so damn much." That's all what I can say but he stood up and straightened up and got his handkerchief on his pocket. He handed it unto me as he wiped his own tears with his hands.He breathed heavily and then faced me, now with his blank stare. "I'll tell someone to pick you up." He said as he opened the car's driver seat, I was just staring at him. Trying to analyze what he is doing. 

"You wipe your tears, I'll wipe mine. Let's call this quits."