Chapter Eight; When The Door Closes.

credits to: halfaheart52.tumblr.com

Doojoon stood at the door looking at you who is packing all your belongings back into your luggage. He didn’t want you to go but he had always had the weakness of letting you do as you please. Even if it hurts him, if it’s what you want, he has to agree to it. It had always been like that.

And this is once again, another replay of that same routine. You’re leaving him and though  it’s obviously killing him the worst way possible he still have to be calm and let you leave. If tis what you want, he couldn’t stop you.

You stood up, ready to go out the door of the apartment where you spend almost a year in with Doojoon. It’s full of memories but this is for the best. You wanted to leave without looking back; you just wanted to walk out of the apartment, out of the building, out of Doojooon’s life as quietly as possible. But you couldn’t. you were on the verge of breakdown but you held it in.

No, you’re not crying because you still love him but because you knew he’ll hurt. You knew Doojoon so well. Well enough to know that he will cry when you leave. He will definitely tear up once you’re out of his sight. He had never shown that side of him, but you knew without looking. And it’s killing you that you know how broken he will be at the end of this.

Yes, this is a decision you made. Leaving him was an option you considered since almost a month ago after meeting another man. You knew that once, when you met this new guy, that your love for Doojoon was history. This is dating right? It is just supposed to be like a trial to see if a certain someone is the one for you. And after a year, you were convinced, Doojoon isn’t the one for you.

You were almost out the door when the voice you always woke up to called your name. and you turned to look at him who was desperately holding back his emotions.

“Goodbye, meet a man better than me.”

Doojoon said. It was definitely something someone like him would say to you when you’re leaving him. And it was definitely something you would never forget. You had almost forgotten what a kind man Doojoon is.

You went to where he was and pecked him on the lips for the last time. I hope you meet a better woman, Doojoon, you prayed as you looked away from him and got out of the apartment, and out of his life as you would like to.

Doojoon who still stood where you last left him finally let his feelings paralyze him. He just lost his cool simply. He broke down. In tears and pain, all he could do was wail.

What had he done wrong? What could he have done better? Why did you have to leave him so simply? He asked himself and with every question he hit himself harder and harder.

Had he not treasure you enough? He does. He cooks for you every night to show how much you meant to him. He loved you that much, so what were you unhappy about? All he could do was tear and wished that you would run through the doors he now hate.

Only almost an hour later, he calmed down and went to his room. How was he supposed to carry on living when everything in this house reminds him of you? This same bed, the same mirror where he always saw your beautiful reflection. How was he supposed to just move on? What do you think he is? A machine that could simply erase memories that he doesn’t want?

He sat on his bed staring at nothing but the cold floor. Maybe you left to find your own happened, you weren’t happy with him. He tried to reason with himself, in anyway try to make himself feel better. Its kinds sad that he lives like that but he chose to let you go without a fight.

This is one of the things he have to live with.