Chapter Twelve; Forgotten Season.

Jaejoong hated this day.
Hate is a strong word.
He strongly hates this day.
It was the last day of October.
And no matter how much he wishes to not think of this day as separation, that was what this is.

Last year, on the last day of October, you decide to end the relationship you both had together.
It wasn’t a sudden decision nor was it something you said insincerely.
You just know the end was coming and you’d rather then than never.

You didn’t like how Jaejoong looked after you told him your decision.
The sweet smile he always wear whenever he’s with you was immediately gone.
He asked if this was a joke, you said no.

The finality and fast reaction to his question just shoved the truth in his face.
You wanted to get out of the relationship.

There was nothing wrong with him. In fact you love him still.
You loved him even till the end when you chose to break up with him.
The reason; you didn’t want to burden him like this anymore.

He’s a man born with riches and you were nothing but a mere commoner.
Just a normal person.
Jaejoong tries his best, to provide for you.
To give you whatever he could.
He always buys you good clothes and brings you out to eat great food.
It was nice having a boyfriend like him but it was like having someone to pay for you.
This isn’t how love is supposed to be. It’s like you’re using him and although you’re not, you can’t help but feel wrong.

This is wrong.

And for that same reason, you told him that it was end.
Jaejoong isn’t the kind of person who would be all cheesy and be yelling he loves you and all that crap but he’s a romantic person although not visible in that way.

He wanted to ask you why since you didn’t tell him the reason.
The reason was simple yet complex.
It was easy for you to say and put it in words but it’s different if you were to say that right in his face.
You could simply just tell Jaejoong you felt like he was just an easy money source and that you feel bad he’s spending on you.
Because that was the whole of it.
You left the part where you loved him.

You love him. You swear you do.
You have never had a man who would care for you as much he did.
And he had always tried to be his best whenever he’s with you.
He always puts you as his priority.
Nobody has ever does that for you.
And that made you love him, not his money.

But conscience is very evil thing.
It kills someone.
All it’s killing you although you knew he’s spending on you because he loves you.

It’s a year forward now and you are a normal.
Unable to move on from Jaejoong but still living fairly well.
While the man himself is hooked on to you form the day he first saw you.

Jaejoong was a very cheerful, athletic guy who is loved by many because of his all-rounded attitude.
He’s, to put lightly, is perfect.
But after the incident where you left him, he changed to another person entirely.
He rarely smiled and he daydream a lot.
His body is present but his mind is never there.
He seems to be always thinking of something else and always in his own world.
It was a sad sight to see.

It’s the last night of October, as stated before, and here is Jaejoong, sitting on his roof of his mansion.
He had climbed it himself in a state where he’s really far away from his body, his mind was flying in his own world.

In a world, where there is you beside him.
Where your hand is in his.
And you both were smiling, happiness glowing from your faces.

When he thinks of you, he dreams more than he should.
Most of the time, he dreams of going to places with you.
But all of these dream, every single one of them, are impossible.

And all of them, every single time, hurt him more than the last.