Chapter Thirteen; Like Being Hit By A Bullet.

You felt afraid today.
You woke up with a message sent by Heechul saying that he needs to meet you at 10 to discuss something really important.
There were only two things on your mind at that point.

One, what could be so important?
Two, he is not the kind of person who would talk seriously.
Knowing Heechul, he’s more of a joker, he teases and his humour is out of the world.
It’s really one of a kind, the way he texted you got you jolted out of your bed in panic asking yourself if you ever did anything wrong.

He’s not an unreasonable boyfriend who beats you up for a mistake you made or anything but the way he put his words, it puts unlimited fear in you.
And for that too, you got ready as quickly as you could to make sure to be there on time.

He was already sipping his coffee when you came through the doors.

Something was definitely wrong.
Heechul is never on time.
He is always late for dates with you, although this one meeting doesn’t feel like a date.
You gulped and moved fatser towards where he was and took a seat in the chair in front of him, taking close attention to his lips.
Trying to be able to maybe see what’s he’s going to say.
But there was just awkward silence so you looked away.

“We should break up.”

He suddenly said while you were glancing around the café.
How is someone supposed to react when their partners wants a break up?
Were you supposed to laugh it off or cry maybe?
Or were you supposed to get angry?
What were you to do?

So you did the most unimaginable thing.
You laughed.
Until you choke on the air you breathe.
You didn’t want to believe what he said, you wanted to think of it as a joke.
Heechul is a joker anyway.

“I’m serious. Let’s. Break. Up.”

The way he emphasized to each word made you breaking heart hurt more than it should.
How could he be so heartless and calm?
Had he maybe not loved you at all?

You stopped laughing and looked at the floor, you suddenly felt like the world stopped turning and your head stopped functioning.
Everything was paused.
You reached for your chest. It was throbbing.
And all you could do was to slowly rub it in attempt to ease the pain.
What is happening to you?

You looked at Heechul’s non-chalant face and it ache even more.
How could looking at him hurt this much?
While all the questions start b in your head, the memories of you both flew all over the place.
You were a disgusting mess.

The memories were flying further and further away and your heart was getting more and more heavy.
This was all too tough for you.
You desperately wanted to hold the memories back but you felt chained.
It’s crazy.

You wanted to stand up for yourself and yell at him for being a jerk.
You wanted to slap him and throw his damn coffee on his face.
But you can’t. You can’t.
Instead, you just stared at him, no tears, no reaction, no nothing.
You were a mess inside but outside you’re stoned.

Heechul suddenly stood up and just walked away from you.
How could he?
You didn’t even get to say anything, ask anything and he just left.
You felt so broken; you lost your basic knowledge of how to actually think.

And you know what confirmed that inability?
Instead of letting him go as he please, you ran towards him and you hugged his legs in front of so many people.
You were so far from normal and that close to insanity.
You don’t even care how stupid you look, but you just needed him.

How could he leave you so easily after making you so in love?
It hurts so bad, your reputation or pride or whatever anyone wants to call it.
Nothing matters anymore.
You just wanted to stop the pain and only Heechul seem able to do that.

“I said it so nicely, so please, let go of my feet. Now.”

He hissed and you grabbed him harder.
He shook you off him and stormed off.

You didn’t know what went wrong.
One day, you are both okay.
The next he said it’s the end.
How were you supposed to forget him?
Find another man? Sure.
That is if you could trust anyone else again.
Heechul destroyed that tiny hope for you.

You wept on the floor, the whole café looking.
Your heart was hurting and you were trying so hard to stop it alone.
Maybe make it sleep or something but it was wailing.

Your heart was wailing, calling out to his name over and over again.