22 August 2014, 6 AM

Hospital

Hyunsik stirred from his sleep when he felt someone played with his hair. He blinked few times and looked up while rubbing his eyes. A smile showered his view. "Ilhoonie?" Hyunsik blurted out the name in his sleepy state.

"Hyung~" The faint voice woke him up completely. Hyunsik held Ilhoon's hand, who was smiling at him weakly.

"Ouh gosh. You're awake." Hyunsik said, completely happy and relief. He looked brighter. Ilhoon formed another smile and brought up his hand, cupped Hyunsik's cheek. Hyunsik smiled, holding the hand loosely and kissed the palm. "I'm so worried about you."

"I miss you, hyung." Ilhoon said, his voice a bit hoarse. "I-uhuk! Uhuk!" Ilhoon coughed. Hyunsik jolted up and quickly took the water from the stand beside the bed. He offered the water for the younger and helped him to drink it. Ilhoon sighed in relief. Right then, he just noticed Hyunsik also was wearing the patient pajama. "Hyung, why you're wearing that too?" Ilhoon's voice was a bit okay after taking the water. Hyunsik looked at himself.

"Oh, nothing bad happen. I'm just temporarily a patient. Nothing serious." Hyunsik flashed a smile. Ilhoon wrinkled. "Don't worry about me, Hoonie." Hyunsik reached to Ilhoon's face and caressed his cheeks, touched the hair. Ilhoon closed his eyes, enjoyed the warm. "I'm glad you're fine. I thought I will lose you..." Hyunsik said, the voice sounded really sad. Ilhoon opened his eyes and stared at him.

"Mianne, hyung." Ilhoon bit his lips.

"Please, don't do it again...I don't want to lose you." Ilhoon nodded slightly. Just then, he remembered something.

"Where's Changseob hyung?" Hyunsik sighed and motioned to the other side. Ilhoon turned, seeing the body figure lying on the next two beds. Ilhoon turned to Hyunsik again. "Is he fine?" Hyunsik held Ilhoon's hand.

"Doctor said he will be in comma for few days because his body needs a good rest. But..." Ilhoon looked at Hyunsik seriously. The elder continued. "He inhaled too much smoke, cause his respiratory channel inflamed. He's unable to talk until it's fully recover." Ilhoon bit his lips and closed his eyes.

"Poor hyung." Hyunsik squeezed Ilhoon's hand lightly.

"Stop pitying others more than yourself. You're more valuable." Ilhoon looked at Hyunsik.

"Hyung..."

"Changseob hyung done too much to you. Don't you ever feel angry?" Ilhoon sighed.

"Because he's Changseob hyung." Hyunsik blinked. Ilhoon looked at Hyunsik. "I'm not kidding when I said I love all of our members. Even though we always fight each other before, I never hate him. I'm sure deep inside him, he doesn't hate me too. It's just he...lost to his obsession." Ilhoon smiled.

"Hoonie."

"I see in him, hyung. He's suffering. Rather than hating him even after what he done until now, I feel I'm responsible to pull him back to reality. Because I make him, push him into darkness."

"Ilhoon."

"It's true, hyung. He loves you so much, and I steal you from him."

"No, you don't. I-I I love you from the start."

"I know but somehow, I feel like it. I can feel what Changseob hyung feels." Ilhoon turned to Changseob. "I still want to believe him, hyung. He...he still has it, his real self inside. We need to pull it out again." Ilhoon said. Hyunsik just looked at Ilhoon. He bit his lips. 'You're really an angel, Jung Ilhoon.'

Ilhoon turned back to Hyunsik, smiling. Hyunsik smiled back, squeezing Ilhoon's hand. They smiled, didn't notice the stiff body on the other bed was crying silently. The silent tears flow down the corner of the eyes, he was crying in his dream. It was like the talk on the other side of the room heard into his dream.

"You're awake." The couple turned to the door. Mrs. Lee came in, she's going out to buy some breakfast for herself and Hyunsik. Ilhoon greeted her. Mrs. Lee put the food on the stand beside her son's bed and walked to Ilhoon. "I'm glad you're fine." Mrs. Lee ruffled Ilhoon's hair.

"Eommonim." Mrs. Lee smiled bitterly.

"I'm sorry, Ilhoon ah. My son..."

"No, it's okay eommonim. I'm fine." Mrs. Lee looked at Ilhoon with her teary eyes. Wiping the corner of her eyes, she sniffled.

"Gomawo, Ilhoon ah. You're a very kind-hearted person." Ilhoon just flashed a tiny smile. Mrs. Lee looked up to Hyunsik. "You got the best partner, Hyunsik ah. Take care, you two." Hyunsik smiled and nodded. The room filled with smiles and relief, but in the other corner, someone is dreaming in grief, regret and pain.

Heaven

Eunkwang brought the last dish into the dining room. The other present people in the house already sat on their chair. "Chalmotkhaesumnida." All of them said and started to eat their breakfast. The breakfast was silent again, this time the kids were questioned with the silence.

"Hyung~" Taka called when he finished his food first. All of them turned to Taka. "Why all hyungs looked sad?" Taka asked. N turned to Eunkwang. Eunkwang sighed and smiled to Taka.

"We're just fine. Not sad, maybe everyone tired?" Eunkwang said and looked at them. They just nodded. Taka looked around.

"Why tired? And where's Doojoon hyung and s?" Taka asked. They startled.

"Ilhoon oppa, Hyunsik oppa, Changseob oppa also are not here?" Eunhye added. Eunkwang moistened his lips and flashed smile to the kids.

"Oh, Beast. They have things to do and can't come home last night. And the other three..." Eunkwang paused and turned to Minhyuk. Minhyuk exhaled.

"They went to their parents home for family matter." Minhyuk said and smiled. "Jja, continue to eat, hum? You three have lessons right this morning?" Eunhye and Taka nodded. Sam looked at Minhyuk, then the others. He huffed and placed the half-eaten toast on the plate. Finishing chocolate milk, he got down his seat. The others blinked in confusion.

"Sam?" N called.

"I'm going first, not hungry." Sam said and left the room. They looked at each other. Taka wrinkled. For the first time, he can't tell what's happening with Sam.

"That's weird." Taka mumbled. Eunhye turned to him.

"Taka?"

"Uh?"

"Anything?" Taka shook his head and took a glance at the door again. They all continued to eat. Sam stood behind the door. He exhaled. 'They're lying. There's something happened.' Sam took a glance at the door before going to his room, getting ready for his lesson. The other finished their breakfast and went to do their own things.

Deciding to help filling the air time, Eunkwang and N agreed to make a family-visiting day. As the kids are going to the lesson where Hongbin will accompany Sam again and also PenJae will go with Taka and Eunhye, the other decided to split and go to each other parent house for a visiting. Feeling thankful, the director supported their trip whoever going with public transport. Each of the returning-home members took a self-camera together with them. Minhyuk excluded himself as he wanted to visit the other three. Understanding the umma's feeling, Eunkwang just let him go. They just prepared to do their visiting today.

Room 3

"What should I bring for mom?" Hyuk asked himself, packing some needed things in his bag. The door opened, Hyuk looked up. But he looked down quickly after seeing Hongbin coming. Since yesterday, he kind of ignoring and avoiding Hongbin. He didn't know what to do and it's just awkward between them after yesterday incident. Hongbin also didn't try to talk with him, which he kind of puzzled why the elder kissed him yesterday and didn't explain until now. It was really awkward now, moreover they're roommates and the other two roommates didn't come back, making them left alone in the room. Hongbin coughed a bit and stepped to his bed, taking his things to put into his bag while drying his hair. He needed to get ready faster as he needed to take Sam to his lesson again. Remembering something, Hongbin blushed. Yesterday kiss flashed in his mind.

Hyuk quickly packed his things and took his bag, walking to the door. Hearing the door closed, Hongbin exhaled. 'Aish! Chincha! How should I explain to him? Ugh, pabo Lee Hongbin.' Hongbin knocked himself on the head. 

Outside

Hyuk went down to the living room with his bag. Leo and Ken were there, arguing over something. Hyuk just stood there, watching the two elders.

"Ah, hyung. Please? Let me go with you." Leo shook his head.

"No, you should go home too." Ken pouted.

"But no one is home. They're going to my uncle's house, aunty gave birth yesterday." Leo blinked. He huffed.

"Then, you should visit them too." Ken huffed.

"Shiro. I'm not in a good term with his family." Leo raised his brow. Ken attacked him with the puppy eyes. "Please, let me go with you, hyung~" Leo gulped, well Ken really knew how and when the best time to attack him with those puppy eyes and such. A chuckle made them startled and turned. Hyuk walked to the two. Leo exhaled while rubbing his nape and Ken pouted.

"Sorry, I guess I interrupt hyung?" Hyuk said. Leo shook his head while Ken sighed. He glanced to Leo. Hyuk sat on one of the couch. Ken gritted his teeth glaring at Leo. Leo raised his brow.

"Wae?" He asked Ken. Ken pouted and stood up.

"Fine, I will just ask someone else." Ken said. He turned to Hyuk. "Hyukkie~" Ken quickly sat beside Hyuk. Hyuk raised his brow. Leo also puzzled. Ken showed his puppy eyes. "Please help me, you're kind Hyukkie~ Let me follow you to your parents' house, please?" Ken batted his eyes. Hyuk raised his brow. Feeling Leo's stare on him and Ken, he figured out an evil plan. Just wanted to know how much Leo loves Ken.

"Well, what I get from that?" Hyuk asked. Ken blinked.

"Um...um. Me?" Hyuk chuckled. Leo squinted his eyes to hear that. Ken didn't realize it.

"Aish, seriously hyung?" Ken pouted.

"I don't have much money to treat you..." Ken sighed. "But I can buy you candy?" Hyuk giggled.

"I'm not a kid hyung." Hyuk said. Ken bit his lips.

"Then, what you want?" Hyuk grinned.

"Later, let's go to the amusement park together. You must treat me, um?" Ken wrinkled.

"Today?"

"Ani, next time when we have free time. Yaksok?" Ken smiled.

"Then, I can go to your house?" Hyuk grinned.

"Promise me first, hyung." Ken sighed and nodded. He wrapped his pinky with Hyuk. Hyuk grinned and slightly stole a glance at Leo. Leo was fuming, obviously. He chuckled. "Yeay, gomawo hyung." Hyuk pecked Ken's cheek. Ken startled while Leo widened his eyes. Hyuk chuckled inside. 'Aww, you really love Ken hyung a lot, Leo hyung.'

Buk. The three turned to the sudden noise. Hyuk stiffened. Ken raised his brow while Leo just stared. "Haha, so clumsy me. Where's Sam? It's time to go." Hongbin said while chuckling to himself. He picked up his fallen bag and looked around.

"He's in the car, already waiting for you." Leo answered, cold tone. Hongbin nodded and quickly left after greeting them. Hyuk bit his lips to see Hongbin left in rush. Somehow he felt restless when he knew Hongbin was there. 'He saw that just now?' Hyuk questioned himself. Ken nudged Hyuk. Hyuk blinked and raised his brow.

"Yeh?"

"When you're going?" Hyuk formed an 'O'.

"I asked Mickey hyung to send me to the station, probably we will go after he's back from sending Sam." Ken nodded.

"I will go and pack some important things." Hyuk nodded. Ken left and went upstairs to his room. Leo stared at Hyuk. Hyuk turned as he noticed the stare. Hyuk raised his brow.

"Anything hyung?"

"What and why?" Hyuk chuckled.

"Aigoo, hyung. Just let me borrow Ken hyung for a day. Well, you won't let him go to your house right? So let me take him with me." Leo sighed.

"He should go back home."

"You heard him hyung." Leo rolled his eyes. Hyuk chuckled. "Calm down, I won't do anything because I know he's yours. Just let me borrow him for today, okay?" Hyuk smiled. Leo scoffed. Hyuk chuckled and whispered. 'I will grant you a date with him hyung, don't worry.' Leo raised his brow. Hyuk chuckled. "You will know later on." Hyuk smiled. Leo wrinkled, he wanted to ask but then N came out from the room, disturbing them. The leader was excited all over the place to go home. Leo and Hyuk just shook their head with the leader umma's rant.

Hospital

Minhyuk opened the door slowly. He entered and got noticed by Hyunsik. "Oh, Minhyuk hyung." Ilhoon turned as well. Minhyuk blinked to see Ilhoon was awake.

"Oh, you're already awake, Ilhoonie?" Minhyuk snapped from surprise and quickly went to hug Ilhoon. Ilhoon coughed a bit because of the crushing-hug but chuckled anyway. He patted Minhyuk's back. "Are you okay? Any hurt?" Minhyuk asked caringly as he released the younger. Ilhoon flashed a smile.

"I'm fine, umma. Don't worry." Minhyuk sighed and touched Ilhoon's hair.

"Don't do things like this anymore. If, if something ever happened, I will never forgive myself."

"Umma~" Ilhoon whined. Minhyuk sighed and hugged him again.

"Did you tell his parent yet?" Minhyuk asked Hyunsik as he released Ilhoon. Hyunsik nodded.

"I call Joo noona as I don't know the parents' number. Joo noona is with them, so Ilhoon talked with his family just now." Hyunsik said, paused for a while. "I also told you guys in KaTalk about Ilhoon." Minhyuk looked at Ilhoon, Ilhoon nodded.

"You shouldn't tell them actually, hyung. I'm just fine. I hate it when Eomma cry." Minhyuk tsked and knocked Ilhoon's head. "Aww, hyung! I'm still a patient." Minhyuk huffed.

"If you don't want her to cry, take care of yourself." Ilhoon smiled and nodded. "I didn't see the message, the others probably do." Hyunsik just nodded. Minhyuk turned to the other bed. It's only two beds now in the room as Hyunsik already got discharge a while ago. "How is he?"

"Still sleeping. Eommonim went back to get some cloths." Hyunsik answered. Minhyuk sighed and walked to the other bed. HoonSik just looked at their squirrel umma. Minhyuk ruffled Changseob's hair and let out a heavy breath.

"Since when did he change into this?" Minhyuk muttered. Hyunsik bit his lips while Ilhoon just looked at them. Minhyuk inhaled. "I hope you come back for good soon, Changseob ah." Minhyuk said and smiled a bit. He wanted to get mad at the vocalist on what he done, but Minhyuk knew Changseob is in the pain too. Hyunsik sent the picture of Changseob's hidden twitter post yesterday to him and Minhyuk felt bad. All of them never knew Changseob hide his pain alone and never show it, they always see the happy, funny, weirdo Changseob everyday without knowing the vocalist is breaking behind them. After getting the picture, Minhyuk took a look at the past tweets. He understood the vocalist a bit, felt bad for the vocalist to love Hyunsik too much and become an obsession without Changseob, himself realized that.

In a building

Hongbin was playing games on his phone while waiting for Sam to complete his lesson today. It was just for an hour today which he's a bit glad. He was waiting one of the waiting room whilst he could wait outside but he can't stay there remembering yesterday incident. He sighed as he was losing the games and his mind was away anyway.

". Why I can't say it? After that confirmation...I'm sure I..." Hongbin groaned and messed his hair. "And what with Ken hyung just now? He's with Leo hyung, right? Ugh." Hongbin unconsciously pouted. His mind just can't stop replaying what he had seen in the morning. Hyuk kissed Ken's cheek. Well, he absolutely sure it was nothing but somehow he fired up. "Ugh, Lee Hongbin. Stop being so ridiculous, like a sick pathetic jealous guy. You ruin it anyway." He sighed to his own word, rubbing his face. He knew he shouldn't kiss Hyuk yesterday, even though he just wanted to confirm what he had been feeling for the younger and that kiss helps.

"But you just can't confront it, coward. Pabo." Hongbin knocked himself again. He still can't to bring himself up to confront Hyuk right then. One, he has no confident. Two, Hyuk probably hated him for that kiss. Third, he totally ruined the younger as that guy just started to forget his...crush. Hongbin blinked to his own thought. "Ravi." Hongbin quickly took his phone and dialed Ravi's number. Three to four rings, the other picked up. Hongbin can heard noises behind him.

"Hello? Wonsik?"

"Hongbin? Wae?"

​"Where are you? Why so noisy?"

"Did you forget? I'm going home. I'm at bus station now."

"Oh, right."

"Why did you call me?"

"Ah, em never mind. I will talk to you later then. Have a nice trip. Send regard to your family." Hongbin hung up, he knew Ravi will try to prolong the conversation and ask him more but he didn't want to ruin the other precious moment with his family. Hongbin sighed. "And I have no one to ask about this. All this long, only Ravi notices my feeling and funnily Hyuk likes Ravi..." Hongbin groaned and messed his hair.

At the KTX station

"Hyuk?" Ken called the younger. Hyuk blinked. They're waiting for the train. Hyuk smiled to the elder. "Why you looked so weird?"

"Eh?"

"I don't know if I'm too imaginative or not, but you looked so off since yesterday. Something's in your mind?" Hyuk chuckled.

"What it would be? If so, maybe I'm worried about Ilhoon hyung and Changseob hyung." Ken wrinkled.

"Is that so?" Hyuk nodded. "Okay...I won't ask much. But why you let me follow you anyway?" Hyuk smiled.

"Because you're the best to take with me on the journey?"

"Uh?" Hyuk giggled.

"Just acknowledge you're the best and fun among all hyungs." Ken blinked and grinned.

"Is that true? Aww, I'm feeling shy~" Ken aegyoed. Hyuk chuckled. 'Leo hyung is so lucky to have you hyung.' Hyuk smiled and foresee behind the elder. He smirked when he saw a familiar figure. He bit his lips, stopping himself from laughing. But instead, a smile formed. "Hyuk?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you smiling like an idiot?"

"Idiot? Me? Onjek?"

"Just now." Hyuk rolled his head.

"I'm not. And I'm not the one who idiot here." Ken wrinkled.

"Huh?" Hyuk chuckled.

"It's nothing, hyung." Hyuk looked around. "Oh, train is here. Ppalli hyung." He pulled Ken up and walked to the waiting line. From his corner of eyes, he can see that familiar figure followed them. He laughed inside. 'Aigoo, don't you trust me? Tsk tsk tsk...' Ken and Hyuk boarded the train, taking seats. The familiar figure also boarded and sat at the two seats further from them, hiding his face under a black cap he wore. Hyuk stifled a laugh. Ken turned.

"Hyuk?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you laughing?"

"Ouh, I just remember a funny moment. Do you remember when we're doing diary, the time you tried to get Leo hyung laugh?" Hyuk asked. Ken looked at him and chuckled. He smiled brightly to mention about the elder. Hyuk just smiled to himself, he can see the love in Ken's eyes. 'Aigoo, this two stupid lover.'

"But why you suddenly remember that?" Ken asked after a while.

"Just I wonder if I do the same, will hyung laugh too?" Ken stiffened. He started to feel weird. Hyuk noticed the changes. "Hyung?"

"Uh?"

"Anything wrong?"

"Oh, nothing. I guess hyung will laugh. You can be funny too anyway." Hyuk looked at Ken who smiling at him. But that maknae knew Ken wasn't smiling from his heart. He doubted Ken actually knew Leo once likes him. Hyuk patted Ken's shoulder. Ken turned.

"I don't think so. Leo hyung laughs because it's you. I should find my way to make him laugh." Ken blushed a bit but wrinkled after hearing Hyuk's last words.

"Why though?"

"I make him mad recently, so I need to make up to him. Well, you know it hyung. Leo hyung is scary when he's angry." Ken nodded. Hyuk smiled. "So I need to make him feel better after we're back."

"Oh, okay....I don't think he will be mad on you so much. After all, he li...erk, never mind." Ken cupped his mouth and turned away, cursing himself. Hyuk didn't say anything but somehow, he can guess Ken knew about Leo likes him before. Hyuk placed his head on Ken's shoulder. Ken turned. "Hyuk?"

"I wanna sleep for a while. Wake me up when we arrived. You know the stop right, hyung?" Ken nodded. Hyuk smiled. "You're the best, Ken hyung." Hyuk grinned and closed his eyes. Ken looked out the window. 'You should just forget the past and believe in present, Ken hyung.' Hyuk whispered to himself. The familiar person heard their conversation, just stayed silent.

Somewhere else

Sungjae locked his phone and turned to Peniel. "Ilhoon hyung is awake this morning." Sungjae said. Peniel nodded while squeezing Sungjae's hand lightly. "I'm worried about Changseob hyung."

"He's still sleeping?" Sungjae nodded. Peniel released Sungjae's hand and hugged the younger. He rubbed the shoulder. "Take it easy, Jae. You're worrying too much." Sungjae exhaled.

"I'm not worried but felt betrayed hyung." Peniel titled his head a bit. Sungjae bit his lips. "First, we never know Changseob hyung and Ilhoon hyung were fighting that bad. Yeah, I notice they kind of not really in good term behind camera and fans, but I never thought it's really bad." Sungjae placed his head on Peniel's shoulder. Peniel rubbed Sungjae's side, comforting him. "Second, I was kind of shock to know Ilhoon hyung, Changseob hyung fought because of Hyunsik hyung and now apparently Hyunsik hyung is together with Ilhoon hyung, as in a couple." Sungjae sighed. "Third, Changseob hyung is too much hurting Ilhoon hyung behind us and now even messier with him having a fiancee. That's really make me upset. No one tell us about it but the others know. We're not a part of them or what?" Sungjae bit his lips.

"Jae. Don't think like that. About the engagement, Changseob hyung just know about it. The others, I don't know what to say, but maybe they have reason for keeping it silent. And also about their fight, you know it well those two guys are really good keeping their emotion inside and I'm very sure Ilhoonie threatened by Changseob hyung to stay silent. Minhyuk hyung, he's not a surprise if he knows because you know umma and Ilhoon are closed like umma and us. Eunkwang hyung and Hyunsik hyung, maybe they knew not long ago. After all I think, they just don't want us to worry." Peniel reached Sungjae's hand with his another free hand. "I can tell they just don't want us to worry, think much over it and hate Changseob hyung. They have their reason, Jae. They maybe didn't want us to over-thinking. Like you're now, worrying and angry over nothing."

'But Pennie hyung..."

"Syhhh, let's not talk about it. Take away your thought from it. Because I have a question to ask you." Sungjae blinked and looked up. Peniel smiled. "Hyunsik hyung and Ilhoonie came out admitting their relationship to the umma and appa. Shouldn't we tell them too? Because Minhyuk hyung and Eunkwang hyung are together now too." Sungjae looked at Peniel.

"But I..."

"I don't know what you wait for, Jae. I thought I just want to come out clean since the day we know all of us are gay, but you don't want it yet. So I just follow, but now Eunkwang hyung and Minhyuk hyung already together and not hiding it at all, Eunkwang hyung proudly showed to us their relationship. Hyunsik hyung and Ilhoonie, I'm quite understand why they kept quiet, because of Changseob hyung. But us? I thought you just afraid to let our members know about it because we like each other, we like guys, but they're the same and you still..."

"Hyung, I..."

"Are you ashamed of me?" Sungjae widened his eyes.

"What? No! Not even cross in my mind." Sungjae said, a bit raising his voice. Peniel stared at him.

"Then?" Sungjae sighed and looked down.

"I..I-I just...ugh, I don't know." Sungjae covered his face. Peniel looked at him.

"Sungjae."

"I'm not confident with myself. I do, I do want to tell people that we're together, we're a couple. We're lover. But I don't know, I don't know anymore. I don't know what I'm afraid of...and I'm scared, I'm not confident to admit and I..."

"Jae." Peniel pulled Sungjae's hand away from covering the face. Sungjae still looked down. "Yook Sungjae, look at me." Sungjae bit his lips and turned. Peniel flashed a smile. "You just need to remember one think whenever you have that negative thought again." Sungjae stared into his eyes. Peniel still smiled to him. Slowly, he closed the gap and captured Sungjae's lips. He softly kissed Sungjae, which the younger replied to it softly. It was out of love, the sweetness just spread on their lips. Peniel pulled back, Sungjae was c