Amber's POV

It wasn't guilt...but it was love..after all these years I still felt the same way like when I first saw her at that antique shop..and that wasn't just love at first sight..this heart never forgot about her...her cold aura,her being bossy over me, her lips, eyes...everything that reminded me how much I'm madly inlove with her...it wasn't anger either why I can't just go in there to stop her but it was fear...fear of losing her not only this time but I might lose her forever...if I did stopped her I would only end up hurting more people around me...I was scared of so many what if's...I wasn't ready of getting hurt again...'cause if I lose her again this time,I might not be able to get up again..I went home,carrying questions within me I badly need to ask my siblings..which only ended up with heavy arguments between me and Jhong..and Jackie of all people, why did she chose to keep shut...I thought she was on my side but it seemed she never did...She knew Krys needed me the most but she only chose to watch us grew apart... all those years I thought she just dumped me for nothing...all those years I went through hell to move on...I made myself hate her for wrong reasons...I shouldve persuaded her more... I should've been by her side all those times even if she pushed me away...I hated them and I hated myself the most...they chose to watch all those times I had to bear the pain... I was totally frustrated of everything... breaking whatever's on my reach,cuts----they weren't painful enough compared to what I'm feeling right now and that was it, I can't stand being in the same place with them that I took my things desperately wanting to leave there...

Ailee welcomed me with open arms...treating my wounds, tears started dripping down my cheeks again...pain I'm trying to hide frome her...reasons I can't tell her...I felt sorry for her but I don't want to hurt her, she doesn't deserve any of it I thought...she never asked and never talked about it either and looked at me so dearly instead...I wonder what's she's thinking right now...I had lots running in my head and I was too tired and I didn't know I have fallen asleep leaning my head towards her... When I woke up, she also fell asleep beside me,her head over my chest and her arms were around me somehow giving me that comfort I really need right now...

"babe..." I brushed her hair with my fingers and lightly shook her shoulder... she stirred up after a while, and opened her eyes.. "I'm sorry..."*you have to bear with me like this* I whispered.. "I love you" she answered instead.."no matter what" I felt her hugged me tighter hiding her face on my chest... "everything's gonna be fine....just hang on okay?" she murmured... And we started a new day...but it never felt like any new beginning...I am with her but my mind's off with Krystal...I wonder what she's doin' right now... I tried brushing her off my mind and tried focusing on other things...busied myself with studies, work, patching things up with my girlfriend..tried hard to put myself back the way I was before she showed up..and just when I thought I did well, one night I found my sister outside our apartment's door while Ailee's at work... "Jackie---what are you doing here?" whatever her reasons are it must be important..she looked passed me.. "Ailee's at work" I informed her.. "we need to talk" she said.. "aren't we talking already?" she heaved a deep sigh... "I'm sorry Amber" the way she looked at me was full of of regrets... "sorry?three years Jackie---three years I made myself hate that woman you and Jhong labeled as good for nothing!..three years you just kept it from me,am I not you sister too?! Three years I should've been by her side----but you took that away from me.." I don't really understand..."you have no idea how much it hurts...it hurts so bad in here" voice cracked I pointed over my chest...just when I thought I was strong enough not to show her any weakness I was already crying hard as she held me tight... "hush now...I'm really sorry Amber...I just thought it was for the best..for you,Jhong,for our family...I thought it would save you, and you were still young I thought it would be easy for you to move on...but I was wrong..forgive me" she kept on carressing my back... "I'll make it up to you" "she's gone...and I might not see her again" I shook my head.. "dr. Top came by today and he was looking for you,he said he couldn't call you" confused I immediately held her armslenght.. "what?..but---" "no...they weren't able to go..."she paused "Krystal's in the hospital right now..I---uhh I think you need to go see her as soon as possible" hearing what she said I felt everything around me stopped as I froze, didn't know how to react with it..Jackie kept talking but nothing really registered in me.. I felt like running that very moment to where she is.. __________________________________________________________ I was totally anxious even when Ailee came home...it was almost midnight but still I can't get myself to sleep..thinking if I should tell Ailee or not or should I go see her or not..just kept on toss and turning beside her untill I made up my mind..I carefully sat up to climb out of bed but then felt a pair of warm hands held my arm to stop me..I looked at her and re