Before I'm Gone
You can forget me but I'll make you fall in love again.
OH GOD.. His heart sinks low at the thought of Sehun hearing everything from Luhani. There, Sehun's leaning on the wall below the widely opened window between the veranda and the kitchen.
He heard. He want to hunt the architect who weirdly designed the kitchen and balcony that way.
"Sehun-ah.." He kneels down next to him and placed a hand on the younger's head hanging low.
"Hyung I heard everything."
Baekhyun doesn't know what to say. He leans forward to embrace his cousin.
"hyung did you hear what Luhani said? He doesn't wanna know about us anymore..He's not interested finding about me.."
Sehun chest goes up and down rapidly vibrating in Baekhyun's.
"It's my punishment!"
Baekhyun's hands soothing on Sehun's back .
"It was me who always left him behind. Broke promises. Backing out because I was a coward but I coudn't let him go so I kept him hanging and waiting."
Sehun begins hitting his head furiously Baekhyun has to grab and hold his wrist tightly that he's sure will left bruises.
"Sehun stop-----"
"He told me he would take care of me and there's no need to be scared but I forced him to gave up and follow our parents instead! I hurt him too much but he told me hyung he'll still wait for me..But I left him!!!"
This time Sehun's sound of crying turns to screaming.
"No Sehun none of it's your fault!! You were just a kid back then!! I would do the same if I was on your position! Everyone will!"
"No you're wrong because Jongin didn't!! I'm being punished and Jongin erased me completely in his life!!"
"Sehun you waited too..You tried you're very best to be strong so when you two meet finally,no one and nothing can break you apart again! But...But..." Baekhyun wants to punch himself hard for being lost in words and making things even complicated.
Sehun who can't take the pain inside destroying him completely lost all his energy and felt numb he slump on his cousin's body.
Baekhyun look down at Sehun after the younger suddenly stops bursting out hysterically,his eyes void with sign of life,trembling lips paler than ever. Baekhyun carries Sehun's body back to his room and wraps him under the sheets again. Sitting beside him his hair. He places his hand infront of Sehun's chest,scared that he's cousin's heart will give up from too much pain. He shrugs off the scary thought and stares at his cousin's unfocused eyes till it slowly closes and only soft breathing can be heard inside the room.
A bitter smile forms in Baekhyun's mouth.
The next day,Baekhyun makes sure to wake up first before Sehun. He prepares all the ingredients in making his cousins favorite breakfast. He's not so good but not a bad cook either. He's ok.
But living with a constant mind-drifter and stagnant kid like Sehun for ten years have taught him to cook something edible. He personally made time to learn his cousin's favorites. So when Sehun's in one of those dreadful days,Baekhyun could slightly lift him up through his stomach.
Sehun had been battling with depression since he left Korea. Baekhyun couldn't count on his fingers and toes how many times Sehun almost lost his life. Not because he was suicidal. But because of the unbearable pain he has been dealing that sometimes he's body suddenly gives up. But then something always makes Sehun revives from near death.
Baekhyun's half way through finishing his masterpiece when Sehun walks closer. He's like a walking zombie. He looks terribly bad Baekhyun has to leave the sink and drag Sehun carefully sitting him infront of the table.
"Wait Ok? It's almost done.."
"Hyung.." Sehun whispers eyes closed.
"Huh?" Baekhyun waits.
"Hyung you'll never get marry because of me.."
He doesn't know whether to smile or not. He choose the former.
"I will after you.."
He catches Sehun smile before the younger rests his head on the table.
"I talked to Jongdae right after we landed here. He offered me a job in Busan..Actually us..They needed doctors in their place..Busan's a beautiful place Sehunnie..You'll love it there..I want us to come together Sehun," Baekhyun waits for any response but there's none. He doesn't want to press the issue anymore.
The door bell rings and he's about to get it when Sehun rise.
"I'll get it hyung.."
He watch Sehun's slow pace towards the door and turn his back to the food he's preparing.
"What are you doing here?"
Baekhyun quickly walk towards the door when he heard Sehun's cracking voice. Then he groans as Sehun's parents walk inside the place ignoring Sehun standing on the door.
Sehun slowly closes the door,too tired to react at his parents appearance.
"How could you rudely stormed out at the party yesterday? Do you know how embarrassed I am infront of the family?" His father says loudly.
Sehun's lisp stay pursed.
"Sehun it's been a long time. But your still stuck to the past! And see what happens? That bastard's getting married. I knew this would happen! If you just listened to us from the start..I knew it!"
"Congratulations then.." Sehun says plainly.His eyes directly gazing at his father's. Baekhyun gulp the lump in his throat.
"Sehun your father was just saying he made the right decision for you.." His mother explains.
"I know..That's why you both need to celebrate because you're right..You predicted this will happen..FINALLY, me and Jongin will never be together ever cause he's marrying someone and not your son? So there's no need to worry about the shame I'll bring to your name for loving a boy and not a girl."
A slap landed on Sehun's face.
"UNCLE!" Baekhyun dashes towards Sehun and supported his falling body.
"Stop uncle can't you see how weak he is now?!"
"It's ok hyung. What's a slap or punch can do over the pain he put me through all my life..Father,as you were patting yourself for a well job done have you thought what I felt or what happened to me? Look at me now father," Sehun stumbles as he slowly make his way to his father closer. He's few inch away from him,eyes to eyes.
"Appa,you did a very great job in killing your only son.."
Sehun's father stiffens at the look on his son's eyes. Sehun rushes out of the room grabbing the car keys and phone placed at the center table.
"Sehun.."
Baekhyun follows catching up with him on the hallway.
"Hyung.." Sehun smiles at Baekhyun, "I'm fine..Don't worry anymore..OK." embraces Baekhyun tightly before pushing him gently.
Baekhyun wants to stop him but he decides not to and let Sehun be alone this time. He goes back inside the room with his uncle sitting on the sofa and Sehun's mother sobbing.
"Uncle..Auntie..Sehun's been through a lot all his life..Too much for a kid to bear.. I guess it's time you both realizes your huge mistakes before you lost another son."
Sehun's grips the steering wheel tightly and stepping on the accelerator. After driving endless going nowhere,he stops and rest his head on the wheel. Sehun breaths heavily.
He scans for Luhani's number and press dial. Few more rings and Luhani's cheerful voice greeted him.
"Sehunnie!!!! My baby where are you?!"
"Noona..I'm sorry about what happened yesterday.."
"That's ok Sehun-ah..Baekhyun explained to me already..hey Are you ok?your voice sounds---"
"I'm fine..Where can I find Kyungsoon noona and Jong-------" He bit his lips as he almost spilled Jongin's name but his new name can't seem to process in his mind and lps.
"he's fiance? I wanna apologize personally. Please?"
"Ow..that's so sweet though no need for that..Anyway,they're at the boutique right now looking for flowers. I'll send you the address."
"Thanks so much noona..And Luhani noona.."
"Yes Sehunnie?.."
"Thank you for everything..You're a wonderful person and you'll met someone as perfect as you..Please look after Baekhyun hyung." He hangs up before Luhani could answer. He receives the address and turns off the phone to avoid the calls.
He found the flower shop. He parks the car on empty space at the front of the shop. He can see the people inside the shop,he saw Kyungsoon touching and smelling the flowers. But he sees no Jongin.
"Jongin where are you? I need to see you..I need to know something.."
And like a cue,Jongin appears on his view behind Kyungsoon. He feels his stomach sickening as he watch the two walking together hand in hand. He closes his eyes.After calming himself for long time he decides to step out and approach Jongin. He needs to know something. It's killing him he needs to know the answer.
Sehun walks out of his car and drags his feet near the shop holding on the parts of the car for support on his wobbling legs. He feels like dying.
"Hey are you Ok?"
Sehun's eyes tremble severely,his body gives up dropping on the floor as he hears the voice. The voice of the person he prayed to hear for so long. A pair of hands catches him before he can land painfully on the ground. Sehun raises his eyes and tears flow automatically at the sight of Jongin's face. So close he just need to raise his hand a little bit to touch him but he's powerless.
"Kim Jongin.."
The young man infront of him looks at him dumbfounded.
"You..You need help? You don't look good.."
Sehun swipes his tounge on his dry lips and swallows hard to wet his coarse and drier throat. He needs to ask him. It's Now or Never,he thought.
"wou--would you come back at the past if---- if you're given the chance?" he stutters catching his breath in the middle of the sentence.
The other just stares blankly not knowing what to do at the terribly ill-looking stranger suddenly asking him random question.
"Would you? Please tell me..Please answer me..I'm--- I'm dying.."
His eyes widen..It takes him long moment to answer.The sick boy's eyes looking at him straight. Answering the boy's pleading question won't make him lose anything. He said he's dying and that hit something in his chest.
"I wouldn't.."
Sehun's chest clinches,pain rushes in his whole system. Tears still overflowing.
"Why won't you come back?"
"Because..Because..I like it better now..I'm afraid to lose what I have now..How about you?"
He waits for an answer but only dripping swollen eyes meets him. He felt terribly sorry for the sick boy infront of him.
"Hey,I'll drive you to your home or anywhere..I'll just get my fiancee..Ok?"
Sehun shakes his head and struggles to stand,the other help him. Sehun didn't say another word after he locks gaze with him for the last time and turns his back grabbing the car's door.
"What's your name?"
Sehun faces him again looking straight to his eyes,"Oh Sehun.."
Sehun waits for any possibility that his name might make miracle and awaken Jongin but he just smiles and,
"I'm Kai.."
He doesn't answer, instead struggle to get inside the car and ignites the engine..He looks at Jongin's face infront of him outside the black tinted window and swipes his finger on the glasslike he's touching Jongin's face.
"I love you Jongin."
He hits on the accelarator and drive too fast mindlessly. Tears continue to overflow..
"KILL ME NOW!!!!!!! WHY DON'T YOU JUST KILL ME!!!!!"
He shouts loudly inside the car looking at the sky above and grabbing the steering wheel tightly as he increases his speed on an unbelievable amount.
"Fine I'll get to you."
But in a blink of an eye an unexplainable and mystifying force,his car heading straight on the cliff slides across the road. Sehun hold his breath for a long time as he harshly maneuver the steering wheel and spinning them quickly on the left opposite the cliff he's so sure to dive in awhile ago. The car spins in full swing twice in the middle of an empty road. The once luxury car stops crashing to a stout tree at the edge of the cliff turning into a ruin.
END.
Sorry Sehun-ah for always making you cry but believe me you're not alone..huhuhu..
THANKS much guys for the support~_~
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