Yoora

I couldn't sleep at all after that night. the last night we spent in jeju.

I remembered how I told him everythings that burried in me. what I felt about him. the things that I would never spill in front of his face. the things that included my feeling about him. like those es that I often saw clinging onto him,  I was crying and complaining about what he had done to me. confessed my actual feeling and even comparing myself with his girlfriend.

it's disgusting. and I was disgusted with myself. 

I didn't even know that I have that side in me. I didn't know, my worst weakness was him. 

I often yelling and shouted at him when he forced to kiss me, or hug me, or touch me. I hate it when he did that.

and I didn't make any different from the time when I kissed him. when he wasn't aware with what happened. the fact that I used the chance. It was even more disgusting than my previous action.

made it worst, He had a girlfriend and I had a boyfriend.

"yah, are you even listening me?" sehun pinched my cheek. I saw him make a face, raising his eyebrows and his lips was straight as a line. obviously irritated by my pokerface.

I laughed cynically when I remembered, the hours before it happened, I just said to hyojin, 'I won't hurt sehun'. 

It wouldn't hurt sehun anyway. or perhaps it would, broke his heart, only if he knew. 

but no, I wasn't that stupid to admit my sin. but yes, I was that stupid to love the person called jongin. 

someone told me before, 'love and smartness couldn't walk together. when you love someone, you left your brain behind'.  I laughed on the first time I heard it. now I knew, that it was true, that when you were in love, you acted more and more like a foolish. even your body, it moved before your brain could think straightly. 

"why are you loving me?" I asked him out of the blue. his face was changed immadiately. he was became a stiff, just his eyes that moved, stared at my right eye, then my left eye. he did it repeatedly, as he was trying to read my mind through my eyes. 

"what is it about?" he finally asked after the long pause between us. I didn't answer him. not that I didn't want to, I waited him to answer me. and he understood in the end. "I have no reason for loving you. love doesn't need a reasons." he said calmly, he ed his blazers, put in on the chair and fix his shirt sleeves, rolled it up till reached  his elbow. he wasn't looking at me, not again. I felt that his fear was increasing, not that he scared to confess his feeling. he was scared by this topic. love. not his love, but mine. 

"you have no reasons." I conclude his sentence, slightly smirking by his answer. 

"why did you choose to love me when you have so much reasons to not loving me?" I eyed him, he was totally confused by my quetion, or just pretending to confused. "I'm cold-hearted. I have attitude problem, I slapped the girls that I think they're annoying. I did that, until they begged for my forgiveness. I have family issues and I tried to kill myself, twice. I shouted at my own mother. and ignored my step-dad. I have no life, I have no dreams. I have nothing to be proud of. I choose to drink vodka at the bar, instead of hanging around with my friends, shopping or did whatever girls do." he stared at me, not bothering to say anything to at least defend himself. "there are much more of my weakness, do you still love me?" 

he looked away for a while before he shifted his gaze back to me. and he frowned, " I don't know what you're talking about."

"It's funny I have more than million reasons why I love him." I didn't mention the particular person when I said 'him'. he knew it very well who it was. yes, his bestfriend.

he kept quiet. I took a fast glance at him and I snorted. "his smile, his laugh, his scent, his voice. I love the way he treats his friend, or his lover. his smirk. his cockiness. even his shadow...I love it. call me crazy, I love his bad sides,when he changes into the bastard. or when he left me, I still love him with all of it." I stared at the peoples that walking in front of us, one by one entered the class "him. I love everything about him." I hurt him again, Oh sehun. it was like his ability to speak was gone. "the bad side of me, you knew it from the start, that there is another person that I love. even after I decided to be with you, this person is still in here." I pointed my chest with my index finger, and he followed the direction, "with that, are you still going to love m-"

"yes." 

he answered with the serious tone. the tone that showed the certainity. "look, do you want me to stop?" he asked.

"I didn't say that you have to sto-"

"then, I'm not going to stop. the time when you'll tell me to give up, I'll gladly stop myself. because you know what? I don't care if that heart's still remember him, all that I care about is you." I didn't know since when his hand held mine, but it felt warm, and nice. "do you understand?" 

I laughed silently, realized that  he did the same action as me. 

that he left his brain behind.

"ugh, yoora-ya, could you stop acting like that? you are disgusting." soojung whispered in you ear. it was at the cafetaria when all of you sat together in one place. just some of your friend that wasn't right there. Hyojin and Sehun was nowhere to be found, Luhan just shrugged his shoulder when you asked him about them. Tao practiced, soon he had to join in wushu competition. Suho, he just hanging around with his new girlfriend. 

"shut up." you muttered and munched your meal. you stared at jongin who was speaking with ahri. his eyes never ever landed on you from the first time you arrived in there. an it, somehow, made you acting weird. awkward and weird. 

"you're acting like moron." she scoffed loudly, took out her mirror and fixed her lipgloss.

you found out that soojung actually nice girl, the really her was the opposite from her appearence. after spending times with her, either at school, or when you were in jeju, she let out her true color. she was just one from those girl that acting like a mean girl when actually she wasn't. the y appearence rose up her name. made the other acknowladged about her. 

"yah jung soojung. I'm older than you." you raised the spoon and moved it toward her head. you tapped it on her head several times. "what was that sounds? is this empty?" you snorted.

"yah!"

but still, she didn't act like hyojin either when you were together, it ended up both of you battled your smart-mouth with her, it was exciting to be honest. how both of you sarcastically commented about one another. and they, just laughed when they saw it.

your dad once told me. peoples, basically, they are nice human-being indeed. sometimes they just accidently covered it with their attitude and behavior.  

I glanced at jongin, again. I did believe on those words, before. but when I looked at that creature of God. I became doubt. 

inside and outside, he was dangerous. he was an devil that sent to break humans heart. 

"yoora unni!" 

a voice called you loudly, catched the attentions. 

you stared at the standing hyojin not far from your table. she looked awfuly mess. her eyes was red, and her breathe wasn't in control. you could tell it even from the far. 

what the hell.

you stopped everyone that starting to stand up. made them calm than before. then you walked toward her and eyed her worriedly. 

"what happened?" you asked her slowly. you made a fast glance toward everyone in there that began to move their attention from both of you. 

she didn't answer. she just stared at you. but you were sure that there was the things that she wanted to say to you. from the look at how she parted her lips several times but ended up closed it again. 

"hyojin." you touched her shoulder and she warded it harshly. you frowned as she glared at you. yeah, hyojin glared. 

"how could you did that." she whispered. she also didn't want to catch the oters attention, but well, she didn't hold her anger inside her.

"what?"

"don't act dumb. didn't I clearly said it before. don't hurt him." you got it now, what she was talking. sehun probably told her your conversation with him before. not that sehun spilled it out. it was hyojin that forced him to tell her.

you turned your head. and stared at your friends, they were not aware with the tension. but one person, he stared at you. didn't bother to give you a gesture or mouthed you. jongin just stared at you in his silency.

you shifted your gaze back to hyojin. "I didn't mean to hurt him in the first place. I just..I just asked him why he loves me, when he knew that I'm-" 

"it's not the first time." she cut your mid sentence, "do you think that I don't know. about you and your kai?"

you stiffened. it bacame worse. "hyojin." you warned her in a very low voice. it started to get your nerves.

"how both of you making out in our ing room at jeju and how he left the purplish mark at here." she harshly pointed your neck, the part where jongin bite you. there was still leaving the blur red color the last time you checked it. this morning. "or that night, when you left our room, excused yourself to take some water but kissed his ing lips." you ran your fingers to brush your long black hairs. obviously, scared, angry, regret.

"were you spying on me?" you gritted your teeth. she snorted loudly.

"so my vision wasn't wrong then." she smirked. no more girly hyojin that time, no more whining hyojin, or cute hyojin. there was just a y and disrepectful hyojin that you were sure, she learned those attitude from you.

"you didn't know what actually happened." you nearly screamed at her. but you manage it very well.

"and this morning, you did the story-telling to Sehun oppa that how much you love that person?" she pointed jongin with her eyes. you were sure, jongin got the signal. that he was being dragged into this conversation. even without turning your body back, you felt it that jongin's eyes was still glued at your direction.

hyojin knew it all. she didn't have to caught you red-handed to tell that those her accusation of you was true. but well, she described it as you wanted it happened that way. when you were actually not. 

"you don't deserve him unni." her statement got you. 

you laughed sarcastically. she thought that you didn't know about it? sure, you didn't deserve him. he was too good to be with a sinner like you.

"so.." you started, " who is the lucky person who deserve him?" you scoffed. it was irritating you how she judge you. "you?" you tilted your head in purpose, mocking her. 

she kept quite. argued with herself to not screaming at you. 

"why don't you just take him then? you must be that good to took care of him." it was funny when you imagined how hard she trying to knock you down. hyojin, she's bold enough to talk back at you. perhaps she forgot that you were yoora.

"you don't know what you are talking about unni." she stuttered suddenly.

"uh-oh. little hyojin is scared now? where's hyojin that glare at me before?" the piercing eyes that somehow gone from your face for the past mounts, it finally back. "what are you scared of, sweety?" 

"u-unni dont.." yoora held it, yoora held hyojin's fearness in her hands. and she would released it soon. "are you scared that I will spill your secret?"

"unni!" she clenched her jaws. 

"that you love my boyfriend?"

then it happened, hyojin raised her hand and she slapped you. hard. 

you lifted your head. your cheek was burned and you laughed again. 

the hard slap made a loud voice that echoing the room. the peoples got their attention back to both of you. and you heard Kris' voice that shouted your name. you ignored him. you didn't care. 

"how could you.." she managed to say. you took a glimpe at hyojin hand, it balled. like if she didn't has enough patience, those fist would landed on you anytime soon. 

"do you think I don't know? how funny. I knew it hyojin-ah. you love my sehun oppa." you imitated on how she usually called him.

once again, she slapped your other cheek. it hurts. your bestfriend did that to you.

you felt a hand grab yours, not wanting tell who it was, you already knew who was the owner of the back when he successfully made your body spinning. 

jongin dragged you away from that place, half running. catched another attention and Ahri still standing on her place with her hurtful eyes. 

"witch! you're a witch! you will cry again after this, you will cry when he left you, the same cry as when you did that for that bastard of yours!" 

kris grabbed her before she didn't do anything further. the gasping sound was heard, more than ten, more then twenty, more than thirty pair of eyes looked at both of you and followed by their gasps. 

you knew what she meant . she cursed you. that you would cry after sehun, the same way as you cried when jongin left you. 

you were running and running aimlessly with him. stoped right at the corridor because of the tiredness. 

he bent down to catch his breath. so did you. you clutched your uniform for the hardness to collect the air. 

he stared at you when his breath slowly in control.

"what were you doing back then?" he managed to ask. not fully breathed. "why did you let her slap you like that?"

"she's just scared." you simply said, rubbed your sweats with your sleeves. your leg became numb, so did your brain. 

you were out of your mind, jongin was standing in front of you, yet you didn't run away from him. you were to tired to do that. 

"what is she talking about back there?" he asked you again, you didn't know why he suddenly curious with your life. it wasn't him. 

"who are you?" you smirked at him and he remained at his state, he heard it too, how hyojin cursed at you. 

"if you hurt my bestfriend I'll kill-" 

you pulled him by his collar and closed your eyes before you landed your lips on his. the second times. you tasted it slowly. 

thanks to hyojin, she awakened your old self. you became numb to everything, the stupidity ate you. 

jongin didn't budge at first, but he moved his lips too in the end. pulled your body to move closer to him. he put his hand around your waist. with your hands still on his collar, you parted your lips and let his tongue entered your mouth. he groaned at the sensation that lingered around his chest, it burned. he couldn't hide it that he wanted it somehow. to taste you again. but yes, you were confusing him. there was a time that you acted like you were about to break, and there was a time you acted like you were the most tough girl in the world. 

he cupped your cheek, pressed your lips harder against his. but the kiss was broken before it became more passionate. you decided to did it first. stopped it.

you pushed him hard, made him took a steps backward

"shut up. you are talking to much." you stared piercingly at him. 

you brushed your lips with the back of your hand

"I'm sorry that I hurt your bestfriend. you can kill me now." you said coldly at him before walked away from him. 

jongin smirked at how fast you changed your attitude. you were angry at him. at how he was talking like he knew you very well. when he wasn't. 

you almost became crazy, and your brain didn't work straight. not long ago, hyojin just caught you. but just now, you proved at her that she was right. you were acting like a . 

you did something that you not supposed to do. 

you splashed the water on your face. and put both of your hand on the counter. stared at the dripping water from your face. 

"oh my god." you whispered. it clanched again, your heart.

Ahri was still standing there.

she didn't move even a bit. stiffened as she realized it was a wrong choice to follow the two persons that running before.

she still standing there, behind the wall. a bit far from the place where you and jongin stopped from ran.

the place where you kissed her boyfriend. 

I'm happy that you are killed by my chapter T^T

lmao kidding. 

tehehe I'm updating again guys. 

thanks for your lovely comments ;---;  sorry for grammar error and typos right here and there.

please keep commenting and subscribing. you make my day! :D