It was morning, barely eight o’clock; a week after Wooyoung’s leaving. Things have turned out to be very peaceful and nice. It’s like having happy ending after a twist in dramas, but the different thing is that this is reality. Jieun was happy these days, that her relationships with Myungsoo gradually developing and her friendship with INFINITE have started to get better. Woohyun health, too, has gradually increases as his swollen has started to disappear.

Winter has come; the weather has gradually changes, it become rather cold. The first snow hasn’t fall yet, leaving the street and houses to seem empty. The trees are seems to be lonely, with no leafs nor flower hanging on it branches. It has been sweep away, by the strong wind for quite a few days. It seems like the winter will turned out to be very cold this year.

Jieun had just woken up, things has been peaceful but quite tiring these days. She always sleeps late at night. Once she called Myungsoo, there’s a never ending conversation until one of them fell asleep. It was her, who fell asleep yesterday, and Myungsoo texted her a good night. Usually, they will hang up after saying good nights and one of them will fell asleep right away. Myungsoo often did that, hanging up and falling asleep right away.

Her phones vibrated early in the morning, when she had just opened her eyes. The sun has risen; surprisingly it was the first time she ever wakes up that much late. She thought, she will wakes up around 7, yet it was 8. She stretches her arm and took her phone, sliding the screen to unlock it.

Noona, we’re sending L hyung to your place~ Enjoy your dates

• Sungjongie~

There were pictures attached to the message, a sleeping Myungsoo. He seems rather tired, and to her relieves he was sleeping peacefully. His eyes were shutted closed, his lips form a smirk, and he looks cute. Jieun giggled, seeing how he looks happy when asleep. Then, she reliazes he was sleeping inside a car and Sungjong has send her the liscence plate number.

We’re sending L to your place, have fun and enjoy your date! He’s in your apartment basement! Find him, Jieun-ssi.

-Sunggyu

Jieun-ah, L is waiting for you! He’s quite a heavy sleeper so please wake him up.

-Hoya

Jieunnie~ I heard you’re good at fashion and style, please help our L to fix his fashion taste. Make him lots of clothes, Jieunnie~

-Choding, Sungyeol

Jieun-ssi, enjoy your dates! Don’t make him jealous again or else he might get moody like yesterday! It was fun!

-Dongwoo

Sungyeol actually attaches lots of photo, a pile of Myungsoo’s clothes. Jieun almost burst laughing, seeing his taste in fashion. He only wores clothes in same styles but different colors, and most of it are black. All of them mostly are checkerboared pattern, or plain black. No wonders Sunjong always whines about his fashion, he keeps bragging her to fix his hyung fashion style.

Jieun quickly dress herself up, in a simple dress with a polka-dot pattern. She smiles satisfiedly, after seeing her own reflection on the mirror. She quickly grabbed her phone and bags, streaming down stairs after preparing meal for the sleeping Pil Suk. She left simple notes, saying she will be back soon.

The basement was full, as always, with expensive cars being parked there. Most of them are black, with some red, yellow, and blue colored, quarter of them was white. She glances at her phone, trying to search for the car Sungjong had sent her. It was hard; it feels like she’s being trapped to play this stupid game. She keeps sighing, searching for the car one by one. What worse was the fact that the car was black and most of these parked cars are black! How in the world is she supposed to find it?

No… No… No… Empty… Empty… Red… White… Yellow…. Ah! She found it! Hopefully, she did found it. She could find a figure, sitting inside a black car while asleep. Excited, her feet quickly rushes for the car and peek inside. It must seem kind of weird, for a girl peeking inside a stranger car. She even needs to hang her head low, in order not to blush red or die of embarrasement. She sneaks around; make sure no body was there before peeking inside.

He looks handsome that she unconsciously blush when her eyes catches his sleeping figure. With both eyes shutted closed, he folded his arms on his chest, while once in a while yawning to find the comfortable position. His hair, it wasn’t messy at all, although it seems like the INFINITE has taken care of his appearance before dragging him all the way to her place. His lips, it was… y? He was smirking, smiling faintly in his sleep. Oh God… what in the world is she thinking about? She’s very embarrassed, unable to take her eyes off him.

Sneaking around like a burglar, she finally knocked on the window. She’s making sure it was gentle enough, so it won’t be necessary for him to wake up and jump in surprised. However, what the INFINITE has told her was true. He’s… a sleepyhead; he didn’t even wake up after she knocked harder on the window that it might break. He tossed and turned, while murmuring some unclear words and going back to his dreamland. Jieun sighs and giggled before doing the same things again and again.

“Yah! Lee Sungjong! Stop it!” He suddenly yelled with both eyes closed.

Jieun giggled, as he continued to toss and turned. He let his back faced her, as he throws a pillow to the window. That maknae, Sungjong, must really love to bother his hyung. It’s funny, seeing how he was very annoyed to be woken up. It was quite scary that she flinched and jumps backward. She needs to hold it back or else she might wake the whole apartment.

She took another step forward and knocked on the window. Myungsoo curses under his breath, finally giving up and tried hard to open his eyes. He keeps shouting at her, whom he must have thought as his little maknae. He let out a sighs, rubbing his eyes, before looking around in confusion. He has no idea where he is, he doesn’t remember sleeping inside a car… a car?

Jieun knocked again and he soon decided to face the annoying sound while cursing under his breath again. His eyes widen in shocked as he found Jieun’s figure trying hard to wake him up. She was waving to him. He almost died of embarrasement, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. This… did she heard him curse?

Jieun invited him to her apartment, preparing breakfast. Pil Suk was shocked to see Myungsoo, and quickly rushes back to her room, since she was still in her pijamas. It must have been embarrassing. She’s a girl and suddenly a boy- who is no other than her sister boyfriend- sees her wake-up face in her pijamas! Pil Suk yelled at her sister for not warning her earlier, earning a playful apology from Jieun.

“Mmm… how do I get here?” Myungsoo sip his coffee.

“I don’t know, I received plenty of text this morning. All of your friends are texting me, saying we should go on a date, that I should fix your fashion, and also that I should find you inside one of the car in the basement.”

“Ah, they’re really going to get it once I’m home.”

“You’re a sleepyhead; I can’t believe you keep on tossing and turning after I knocked on the window a hundred times!” Jieun pouted.

“Sorry, I guess it’s a habit. They usually soaked me in water, earning a scold, and by then I will wake up.”

“And you should stop cursing.”

He flinched, but finally giggled, seeing how cute she is when she decided to pout her lips in annoyance, “sorry, I will stop then.”

“They asked you to fix my fashion?” Myungsoo rolled his eyes.

“Yes, Sungjong and Sungyeol, they insisted to have me as your new fashion coordinator. They asked me to buy you some clothes, and if it’s possible, to make clothes for you.”

“May I ask why?”

Jieun handed him her phone, letting him to see the attached pictures they sent earlier this morning. Jieun glances at his clothes, ah, it’s plain black. Although he looked cool in any clothes, Jieun has to admit his taste in fashion is a bit… lacking. He’s too obsessed with black and keeps wearing them. His clothes pattern never changes either; it’s either plain black or checkerboard.

“This is… too much. How can they went through my closet and randomly take pictures?” he scowls.

“Well, you should talk to them. We’re going downtown today, I’m going to measure you and make some clothes.”

“I like black, never shove it off my fashion.”

“Okay, you’re very stubborn.”

She picked the fabric very quickly and within an hour they have arrived back at her apartment. She bought a lot, he can’t believe she’s another shopaholic type of girls. She might not spent money carelessly, but she’s still a shopaholic. It’s hard to stop her from shopping, once she has arrived in a shop, especially when it includes clothes and fabric. She picked them randomly, thinking about it within a minute, before finally agreeing to buy all of it.

Myungsoo sighs; he needs to carry half of her shopping bags. She never asked him to do so, but he decided to be a good boyfriend and help her. She was a bit embarrassed about him, carrying her shopping bags. Actually, he might have carried more than a half of it. He was drowned behind the shopping bags, while she could carefreely walk, bringing three to five shopping bags. He must have looked like her personal butler and assistant, tsked.

“Sorry, I think I shops too much today.”

“Yeah, you’re a shopaholic! I can’t believe you love to shop to that extent.”

“Oops, I went overboard.” Jieun giggled, seeing the shopping bags filling her room.

“Thankfully, I’m not the one who’s paying.” He teases her playfully.

There was more than 10 cm difference in their height. Jieun was having trouble, adjusting herself to the 178 cm tall boy. She’s only 161; it’s hard for her to take lots of things, especially those which are put in the higher place. Measuring his clothes should be included to the list; she keeps tip-toing just to fail in the end. She can’t even reach his height nicely.

“Should I help you? It’s seems hard.” Myungsoo laughs, seeing how serious she is.

“I think it will be better. Could you please hold it?” Jieun requested, avoiding his gaze.

“Sure.”

“Geez, I can’t even see the number. You’re too tall!” She pouted, her height is another trumble.

“Tip-toed then. It’s only 10 cm, you can do it, Jieunnie~.”

“Stop making fun of me! Hold it right there, I will try to read it.”

“Okay, okay.”

She tip-toed, trying to get a better view of the number. She should try doing some extra exercise like jumping-ropes, so she could get taller. Hopefully, it wasn’t too late for her to grow a little more. She feels very short right now, compared to this man height which is nothing when it comes to other models and idols.

Thud!

She opens her eyes slowly, ready for the pain to engulf her. She slip, oh god, she’s an idiot.  She could hear the loud thud sound, when she suddenly fell. She was a bit scared to open her eyes but soon decided to do so. She slowly open her eye, with heavy breathes, gasping for more air if her lungs could take more of it.

He was there, Myungsoo. She was suddenly on top of him, without any pain spreading inside her body. Their face was only an inch apart, that both of them could feel each other hot breath. Myungsoo could feel her heavy breath, her warm and hot breath, brushing against his cheek. Jieun, in the other hand, could feel his hot breath brushing against her cute nose. And again, their eyes are sinking both of their soul deep beneath it.

He was leaning, closer to her, closer to her lips. She has shutted both eyes closed, the skinship was intense. Her hands were traveling, scarving a straight line on his chest gently. His arms wrapped her neck, supporting the back of her head, for her to lean closer to him. The hot breath, it was getting hotter that their ears started to turn red all of the sudden.

Thud!

Both of them was shocked and ended up failing to lean closer. She blinks her eyes, opening it slowly with both cheeks flushing in deep red. If one ever saw her, they might think twice on what red called as, it was more than tomato red or chili red, it was very red that she was burning in the heat. Myungsoo, too, ended up bumping his head to the ground and groaned in pain. He avoids her eyes, as the two were embarrassed and refuses to realize what had just happened.

“Jieun-ah, get off?” he wrapped his arms around her tiny waist to support her unbalanced body.

“Uh, yeah, I’m sorry.” She shyly stands up.

“I- I think I- I will go- go outside and- and get some – some- fresh- fresh- some fresh air?” Myungsoo stuttered, pointing the door as he was having the urge to run away.

“Ye- yeah, I- I will- wait.” She nods, nervously nodding her head, avoiding his gaze.

“I- I will be back- soon.” He exited the door and closes it gently, rumbling outside her room.

That was very embarrassing, she shook her head, hitting it hard to shove off all the weird thoughts she is having. Geez, she’s an idiot. How could she slip and ended up falling on top of him? She’s very careless, what if he got hurt? No, no, that’s not the problem. Just now… what was she thinking? Why is she leaning forward? They, dear god, what is she thinking? They almost kissed.

Myungsoo, in the other hand, was rumbling outside her room, walking back and forth while trying to recap the entire incident that had just happened. What is he thinking? Did they kiss? No, he doesn’t think so, thanks to the thud sound, they failed to kiss. Is he disappointed? No, damn it! What is he thinking? Did he just plan to kiss her? Oh god, his heart, its beating so fast that it might explode any time soon.

“L-oppa, what’s wrong? You’re being weird.” Pil Suk who had just finished taking a shower spotted the man being extremely desperate.

“Wha- What? Oh, nothing happened. It’s… It’s nothing.”

“Ah… are you embarrassed? Did you see my unnie…?”

“No! No! I see nothing! I’m not that type of man!”

“Or did you just… have some superbly intimate moments?”

“Pil Suk! No, nothing happen.”

“Are you trying to lie to me? Oppa, don’t you know that the more you lie the redder your ears get?” Pil Suk teases him.

“Me, are you crazy?”

“Oppa, you don’t do something like that to my innocent unnie, right?”

“Of- Of course, no!”

He can’t talk, not after what has happened. He keeps thinking about the incident, how they almost kiss, and how hot her breath is. He suddenly wanted to rush through that door, grab her, and roughly crash his lips to hers. Wouldn’t it be very nice? He suddenly wanted to taste her lips, sliding his tounge inside . No, no, no! He’s not a ert, stop thinking about such a thing!

“Oppa, did you know you’re talking out loud?”

“What? What? I’m not thinking about anything. My brain is empty right now, there’s nothing inside my head.”

“Oh, oppa, you’re very naughty. I heard it all, you know, your thoughts.”

“Yah! Kim Pil Suk!”

“Oppa, don’t be too naughty. If anything happen to my innocent unnie, I’m going to tell mom.” She sang.

“Yah, I told you nothing happen!”

“Go back inside, oppa! Unnie will be worried if you stay outside for too long. Careful, I don’t want your hands to go all touchy!”

Frustrated, he smirks and goes back inside. He should gather himself, stop thinking about erted thinks, and protect his girl. That incident is just an incident; he should stop thinking weirdly about it. Jieun might be in a shock state because of it. What was he thinking when he pushes the back of her head, so she could lean closer and he could kiss her? Ah, he might have lost it just now.

Gently clicking the door open, he found the petite Jieun being extremely embarrassed about the incident. She sinks herself deep in her thoughts, burying her face under her arms, while hugging her knee. She was talking outloud, without noticing Myungsoo’s presence. She was very embarrassed that her ear turns red; she keeps telling herself about how idiotic and careless she is. She fears that thinks might get awkward because of it.

He found it cute, that others parts of her. He smile, gently knocking on the door that causes her to flinch and stares at him with both eyes open in shock. His eyes soften, seeing how petite she seems to be, and how scared she is. He slowly approaches her with a friendly vibe, so that she will feel comfortable. He holds her hands and stares deep in her eyes.

“Shall we continue? I’m really looking forward to my new clothes.”

“Su- sure.”

“Mmm... Let’s grab some chair so it will be easier for you.” He patted her head.

“Okay.”

She ended up grabbing a tall chair and stood on it. He was too tall for her, that tip-toing won’t be enough. The awkward atmosphere soon fades away as they get back to being more than friendly. Our naughty little sister is peeking from the other side, eavesdropping to their conversation. She smiles each time Jieun laughs and giggled each time Myungsoo tries hard to act cheesy. It was new to her, how the so-called L oppa could turn extremely cheesy because of her sister.

“What should we do about the design?”

“You wanted it to be black right? How about some mixture of colores and also…” she continues to explain.

“No! Black, I said I wanted black!” he insisted.

“I guess I understand how Sungjong feels about your fashion.”

“Are you insulting me? Ah, the INFINITE should never hang out around you or else you might turn out to be like them, pranksters.”

“Okay, okay. Let’s just discuss it, and let’s not made it black.”

“Pink? Red? Do you think I’m a girl?”

“Okay, okay. How about this?”

“No, no, too little black.”

“Blue is a good one, too. Navy blue would suits you so much more.”

“What’s wrong with black? My closet is full of black and I find it rather good.”

They ended up bickering with each other. Well, it happens sometimes although it would be a rare scene to watch. They rarely fight but once they fight there is no way to stop it. Myungsoo is a very stubborn guy while Jieun, it’s hard to control her once she bickers with him. She might be sweet and polite, but being with Myungsoo it’s hard for her to stay calm. He’s too stubborn, not to add some childish acts thanks to his cold and arrogant personality.

Jieun ended up designing the clothes on her own, shooing him away to prevent any further argument. It’s tiring, although they both ended up bursting to laughter. They teases each other and from time to time, they would stole the sketch away from each other. Jieun lightly punches him on his chest, while he would pinch her nose. They’re having fun inside her room, enclosing the distant until their hearts immerge as one.

They walked together, hand in hand, the weather was cold and Jieun manages to make a pair of matching scarfs. It was black and white, thanks to Myungsoo non-stop whining; she has to make a black and white. It was a matching one; it was nice, thanks to Jieun excellent ability in choosing fabric. It was warm, very warm, and comfortable. On her scarfs, it was written his name, Kim Myungsoo. On his scarf, it was written her name, Lee Ji Eun. It was actually Myungsoo idea, who keeps insisting to have their name written on each other scarfs. It was quite weird and too cheesy that Jieun blush in embarrasement each time her eyes spotted his name.

He grip her petite hands tightly. Her hands were small, smaller than most of the woman that it fits his palm perfectly. It feels nice, having her hand inside his palm. Her fingertips might feels cold, but soon the warmth of his body will warm her cold hands. When it was his, who turned out to be very cold, her warmth will make sure for it to be warm and nice. It was simple steps, awkward holding hands in the beginning, and finally turning to a playful and nice one. Sometimes, even the way of them walking together, hand in hand, could look very romantic. Not to mention, they were always smiling and they would stares deep to each other eyes from time to time.

They didn’t plan to go out today; they plan to stay inside Jieun’s room until the sun drowns beneath the horizon. But the INFINITE and also Pil Suk keeps forcing them to date outside and now they ended up looking around the street, if anything flashy and cute would catch their eyes. Myungsoo took her to a street, where cute-adorable things were sold, not to mention things that match her taste perfectly.

They bought another pair of matching earmuffs, since winter has arrived. She wores the white one, while he wores the black one. And again, there were each other names written on it. Myungsoo randomly grabbed a marker and wrote their name on it. He’s being too protective about having her as his girlfriend that she has learnt her lesson never to make him jealous. He’s scary when it comes to being a jealous boyfriend.

“Jieun-ah, could we drop off somewhere before going home?” He suddenly asked, on their way back to Jieun’s house.

“Sure, where do you want to go?”

“I wanted to visit someone. I want her to know you, to know that I’m dating you. I think she will be happy to see you.” He nervously said.

“Sure, I will accompany you.” She smile with both eyes soften as she figures out his discomfort and worries.

It was two blocks away from the last store they visited, when they found an intersection. Jieun could feel how his discomfort slowly grows and turn intense. She started to wonder where do their feet going to end up at. Jieun could feel how his heatbeat slowly rises nervously, how he keeps inhaling deep breaths and sighing. She could feel his worries and anxiety that soon spread inside her body. She was getting goosebumps as the silence was too suffocating.

He didn’t want to talk; he just wanted to know she’s there. He was gripping her hand so tightly, grabbing it harsh while pulling her closer. His gaze was directed to the empty road, where only pedestrians could pass by. He was looking straight, without stealing the slightest glance to her. She suddenly wanted to hug him, having the urge to make him feels a lot better.

Another two blocks and they turned left. It was empty, scarily empty. She could feel the pressure that slowly penetrated her ear. She could feel the suffocating silence that pressed against her chest. She could feel his discomforts that soon become hers. She could feel how the atmosphere turn unexpectedly gloomy as the man beside her remains silent in his discomfort.

She could never guess where would this pair of feet ended up arriving at. She was surprised to see the vast expanse of land, empty and lonely. The atmosphere wasn’t nice at all, it was creepy, especially during winter and dawn. Although it’s twilight, she didn’t like the atmosphere. As the living, no one would like to stay close to the death. But once in a while, the living will always misses the death. And here she is, in a graveyard.

He didn’t let go off her hand, not even loosening it. He continued to lead her, until they arrived in front of a grave. She tried to look at it carefully, it looks quite old, it looks neglected. She blinks, trying to read the letters written on the stone. Kim Luna, it was written there, the name of a woman. She almost flinched, knowing who the woman is.

“Good evening, Luna-ah.” Myungsoo begin, smiling bitterly.

Kim Luna, she’s his sister. His sister whom life comes to an end thanks to her, thanks to Lee Ji Eun, this little girl could no longer find the true meaning of life. She has told herself before, that this is not her fault but rather the cowardness of the heart. Yet she can’t accept it because in the end of the day it was her fault. It was her fault that this little girl commited a suicide, ending her own life, while she, the one who’s at fault, could live happily, dating the person she loved.

“It’s… your sister grave.” Jieun was taken aback.

“Don’t you want to greet her? She must be lonely all this time, being neglected for years.”

“Good evening, Luna-ssi.” Jieun smile bitterly.

“Luna-ah, I’m sorry oppa haven’t visited you for a long time. How have you been? Are you having a good time?”

“Myungsoo-ah, don’t you ever….”

“No, I was afraid.” He simply shook his head, with tears forming in his eyes.

She remains silent, as the man beside her was holding all the pain. She wanted to hug and comfort him yet it feels very wrong to do it. After all, the woman who caused him to feel such a pain is no other than her. This moment, suddenly the thought of them dating has turned mistery to Jieun. It seems rather untrue, for two beings who has brought pain upon each other, to finally dates. This is reality; where real life exists, not some fairy tale where only happily-ever-after existed. There’s no such thing in this world, yet why is she feeling it?

“Luna-ah, this is Jieun-unnie. She’s my girlfriend now.”

“Luna-ssi, it’s nice to meet you. How do you do?”

She was having it, the guilty pleasure that slowly engulf her. Will sorry ever be enough? The answer will always be no. How could it be enough? Do you think taking someone life is a simple thing to resolve? No, unfortunately no. Thousands of good deeds and the bitter taste of pain won’t be enough, thousands word of sorry won’t be enough either. Yet why did he decide to forgive her? And why does her heart decided to forgive him? Is this what people called as the power of love? She wonders.

“Luna-ah, oppa misses you a lot. Please take care of yourself, sleep peacefully. We will meet each other someday, please wait for me.”

“My life has been great; Woohyun-oppa is doing well too. I’m sorry I can’t forgive him, I’m sorry I dated this unnie. I’m sorry I can’t fulfill my promises to you.”

He continues to talk, despite the bitter taste of the words that continued to spill out of his lip. His tounge taste bitter, it takes lot of courage to be able to continue talking without having tears streaming down his cheeks wildly. His heart was in great pain, seeing how his sister is no longer alive. He misses her a lot, just like how most of brothers should feel about their sisters. The bitter taste was overwhelming, his eyes keep getting teary.

He soon loosens his grip on Jieun’s small hand. She soon rubbed his back, trying to make him feel better. She, too, was about to cry. Memories, of her bad day on childhood days, Pil Suk’s countless trial of suicide, it suddenly rushes back and forth inside her head. She could never imagine how it feels like having to lose a dear person. Seeing how miserable she is, she would like to change history. She would like to say sorry countless time, she would like to save this little girl.

She wanted to say sorry, to this girl. She wanted to bow and kneel, saying how sorry she is. But could this girl forgive her? Her apology would remain unanswered as this girl has lost it capabilities to talk. Her apology would remain as guilty pleasure, planted deeply inside her heart. If she says sorry, would it be enough? It was the hundreds time that she decided to ask the same question all over again, only to meet the absolute answer: no.

“Myungsoo-ah, I….”

“Do you know what she said about you? Do you know what she used to tell me about us?”

He’s seeking for comfort, talking about the past as he pretended the memories being reverted to moments. She continued to shove off her tears; she has to stand strong and encourages him. If she failed, it means she wasn’t good enough. If she can’t stand strong, if she ever failed to encourage him, it means she wasn’t good enough. He will brag to people how proud he is for having her as his girlfriend, while she will die of embarrasement for failing to be a good girlfriend. She won’t ever be good enough if she failed.

“The first time she saw you, she come home excitedly, saying how pretty you are. She saw your smile and started to look up to you. She told me, if she ever grows up; she wanted to grow up like you. She wanted to have your beautiful smile, warm eyes, and milky white skin. She wanted to be like you, the way you think, how mature you are. She told me how kind of you, giving your own lunch for her. She forgets her lunch that day, she could have starved to death, yet you give her your own lunch. It was very memorable to her, because she’s very fond of you.”

Three years ago

It was spring, the start of the new academic year. Jieun was entering the first year of middle school. Pil Suk was home-schooled at the time; she has fewer things to worry about, compared to how things have been nowadays. She was known as a beautiful young lady, the gorgeous women of the school. However, her shyness has prevented people to look up to her. Indeed, she has a lot of fans out there, especially boys, but only a few looks up to her.

She was walking around the school, when she saw a little girl crying. She resembles Pil Suk a lot, the way she cries. She was sobbing faintly, hiding the pain inside, she was bottling everything up. Jieun approaches her slowly and the two started to talk comfortably. The little girl, she has black hair, just like Myungsoo’s, she has a pair of dark eyes with a warm vibe. She was fun, she was very friendly.

That day, she told her that she has forgotten her lunch. She’s starving, it was 2 o’clock, and she should have eaten her lunch two hours ago. It’s undeniable how Jieun, too, was starving, yet she can’t bear seeing the little girl starves to death. She smile and took a seat beside the girl. She lifted the little girl and let her sit on Jieun’s lap. Luna, she never knows it was her name until this day come.

She shares her lunch with Luna; she feeds her while playing around so eating won’t be something boring to do. She was left alone when Pil Suk was just around 2; therefore she knows how children hate to finish their lunch. The starving Luna hungrily eats all the food, having fun with Jieun who keeps feeding her and taking a good care of her. Jieun escaped the rest of the class that day, since Luna soon fell asleep inside her embrace after finishing her lunch.

She wonders who that girl was, her name, her age, her class. She ended up never meeting the girl again. And now… knowing who she really is and what Jieun had done to her, it was unbearable. She blinks her eyes, looking carefully at the pictures, it was indeed the girl, and her eyes were something she can never forget.

Jieun was stunned; she bit her lower lips to prevent herself from crying. She knows her, she knows this little girl. The fact that this little girl used to look up to her a lot was something painful. She’s at fault, for this girl ended up lying down lifelessly like this. She is her role model yet she’s her murderer.

“She told me of how sweet and nice you are. She told me how wonderful your cookings taste like. She told me how lovely and caring you are. I never dated anyone and the time, she asked me to start approaching you and if it will ever be possible, she wanted me to date you. She said we will fit each other, forming a perfect couple. I just laugh awkwardly and shrug it off. She keeps bragging to me about you, I don’t know who you are; I don’t know how I could ever find you so she could see you again. She misses you a lot.”

“I found out it was you, after her death. Her description about you was… absolutely true. But it was too late, she had already…”

“I know, I know. She must have hated me a lot.” Jieun voice tremble as she suddenly squatted down.

“Jieun-ah,”

“Let’s just help her to clean, it’s very dirty. You should visit her often, I’m sure she is lonely. The wild grass, we should get rid of it before the sun set down.”

She was trying to get herself busy or else she might soon burst to tears. Knowing the true identity of the girl has wrenched her heart. Myungsoo, too, was on the verge of tears. She could see his eyes, behind the poodles of tears, drowning beneath it. His figure slowly degraded, as her eyes were filled with tears that it’s hard to see.

“Jieun-ah,”

She can’t take it anymore. She can’t, seeing how bitter he is, seeing how he suffers from pain. If she failed, then she is a failure. Then, let’s just be a failure. This is too much for her, even for a strong lady like her, this is too much. She wonders how could he bottled it all up, regaining all the self-composture and standing strong without trembling.

“Myungsoo-ah, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m very sorry.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him to a hug, whispering her sincere apology to his ear.

“Jieun, there’s nothing to be sorry about. It wasn’t your fault.” He tried to make her feel better only to have tears starting to roll down.

“Myungsoo-ah, if it’s painful then just cry. If your tears have dried and you can’t cry anymore, I will cry for you. If you are weak, let me encourages you, let me stand strong for you. If you are happy but can’t laugh, let me laughs for you. If you wanted to smile but your cheeks are hurting, let me smile for you. If you are in pain, let me bear it for you. If you ever need me, let me be there for you.”

His hands soon travelled to her back, pulling her to a warm and tight embrace. He has turned weak, nothing can deny it. His tears might have too much pride already, that he can no longer cry. His tears might have dried after years of mourning and pain. Her words, it suddenly shakes his heart. She’s the only one who can comfort him; having her by his side is everything he could ever wish for.

“I’m weak, please encourages me, please stand strong for me. I’m in pain, please bear it with me. I wanted to cry, please cry for me. I need you because I love you, please stay by my side.” He whispers weakly.

Both of them ended up sobbing inside each other embrace. He cried, it was the first time Jieun ever saw a man cry. She has seen Hoya and Wooyoung cried before, but they were boys. When she grows up, she has never seen a man crying. Seeing how Myungsoo faintly cried, she might have broken apart. It was painful, seeing how he cried. The years of mourning and pain, he could finally poured it up, because of her, thanks to her.

A few moments after their sobbing moments, both of them regain their composture. Jieun eyes were red from crying, her nose turned reddish too. Myungsoo eyes turned red, traces of tears could faintly be found on his eyes. He keeps sticking his tounge out, so it won’t be necessary to break down to tears again. Things will be fine now, because she’s by his side. Love, it’s indeed important.

He took out his ipod, playing a song while plugging an earphone to her ear. They shares the same earphone, listening the music it plays. Jieun breathing hasn’t got steady yet, she was crying just now, as a girl it’s hard to get her breathing steady after crying so much. It was the first time she ever let herself cry infront of a man, inside a man embrace, she has lost her trust in men before, but thanks to Woohyun and Wooyoung, it wasn’t hard to regain it back.

“This… this is her favorite song. She always asked me to sing it for her before going to bed. She said she wanted you to sing this for her. Could you do it?”

“Let’s just sing it together, Myungsoo. I’m sure she misses your voice too.”

♪IU- Child Searching for a Star

Myungsoo intertwined his hands with hers. They both sings the songs, letting the melody to fill the air. He could finally smile in front of his sister’s grave. He feels encouraged, thanks to Jieun’s presence.

The first snow fall to the ground, covering the blank street with it’s pure white color. Slowly, one by one, the pure white flower touches the ground. Both of them, who’s still singing whole-heartedly, soon looked up to see the first snow falling. It’s snowed beautifully, she upturned her palm, letting the cold snow touches her skin. Myungsoo soon did the same as they smiled.

The first winter snow.