Her luggange was prepared early in the morning, when the sky was still dark. Pil Suk has yet to wake up. Although she’s her little sister, she has yet to know the fact that Jieun has to leave with Wooyoung by the end of this week. There were only a few persons who knows about the fact, the INFINITE, Myungsoo, Jason, Wooyoung, and her. She has yet to inform Jiyeon or Woohyun, because she was unsure whether to go or to stay.

She stays up all night that black circles slowly appear beneath her eyes. Her eyes were swollen, thanks to the lack of sleep. Partly, it was her fault, for not being able to sleep because her heart wasn’t in peace. She keeps thinking about the next day, when the sun rises; about the possibilities of leaving and staying. She was thinking which one should she choose? Her dream or her heart?

Myungsoo has made an appointment with Jieun that he will arrive at Wooyoung’s house by 8, before she will leave. She wanted to see him before leaving. It will be hard, she knows it, but it will be better rather than leaving without any farewell. It will be better to whispers her last feelings and conveyed it to him before leaving, rather than leaving without any words to left behind. Yesterday was fun and if they had any chance, she would likely to repeat all the moments again. She won’t get bored at all, not at all.

If it’s unhealthy, she will still be keeping up with it. That man, who keeps making her heart skips a beat, even if her heart become unhealthly because of it, she suddenly won’t mind. She would like it to explode, to burst, to skips beats, it would be fine. She’s with him, because of it everything turns out to be fine. She used to think this type of perpesctive is stupid, but suddenly everything turns from rational to irrational from logical to unlogical. And every irration and unlogical thinks turn realistic.

She dragged her luggange, after leaving notes on the dinning table. Pil Suk won’t be able to see her after today. They will be separated and Jieun can’t say goodbye without bursting up crying. If she ever cries, she fears that Pil Suk might feel discourage. She will definitely begs her to stay, but she won’t be able to fulfill that. She will cry, and Jieun would only felt all the pain.

She took out her phone from her bag, while walking to the subway station. She hasn’t open her phone ever since yesterday. She only texted Myungsoo, she hasn’t checked tons of text messages from Jiyeon and Woohyun. She hasn’t told them she needed to leave with Wooyoung. Hoya, too, hasn’t received any farewell message from her. She plan to drop by his house before leaving.

Lee Ji Eun, where are you? You skip school! Where have you been? I heard you catch a cold, are you okay? Text me soon.

-Jiyeon

She giggled, after reading the message. Jiyeon is a caring best friend, she always listens to her each time she has a problem. She’s a good listener and a good secret keeper, that Jieun believes in her. She’s the only who knows about Jieun problems, her family story, and private stuff. She’s the only person Jieun had ever trusted, aside from Wooyoung.

Jieun-ah, are you okay? You didn’t attend school today. They told me you catch a cold? Are you okay? Don’t forget to drink the medicine and rest well. I will visit you soon, text me okay? Get well soon my beautiful flower.

-Woohyun

Yeah, as cheesy as ever. Jieun couldn’t help but smile widely after reading his text. Jieun really likes him a lot, Woohyun. He’s cheesy, caring, and fun, but at the same time serious. He could adjust himself well to the situation. He knows what to do and what not to do. He respects people, despite his terrible record of the past. Jieun may have come to rely on him.

She sighs, knowing by tomorrow she will have leaved all the nice memories here. She will be leaving Pil Suk, her personal maids, her bestfriend, her boyfriend, and others. She will only be staying with her fisrt love, the love that has gone been replaced by her new love. It was stupid of her, thinking that she still had feelings for her first love. Everybody does, yes, everybody can’t ever forget their fist love. They would never forget the first time their heart skips a beat, the first time breathing seems nice, the first time their heartbeats crazily. Yet it wasn’t the intend of life, she was supposed to find her last love; where hearts will beat the fastest, where hearts will skips lots of beats, where breathing seems very hard yet easy, where hearts will be at the most peaceful state, where hearts finally burst up and explode.

She hop off the subway and drop off by Hoya house. She drags the luggange all the way there and pressed the bell. Hoya appears soon after, he was surprised to see Jieun early in the morning, dragging her luggange and dressed up formally. It’s like she’s truly going to leave without any second thought.

“You are leaving?” He asked.

“I guess I will have to leave.”

“Which means… you’re going to leave today, you’re not going to be here anymore by noon.”

“Yeah.”

“Could you stay?”

It was a no, the answer was a no. She actually said it, with much hesitant. She was unsure whether to leave or to stay. If she leaves, it means running after her dreams, meeting her mom, and getting proposed by Wooyoung when she reach twenty-years old. But does she still dream of it? If she stays, it means abandoning her dream, staying by her sister and friends side, and dating Myungsoo. Which one did she prefers to happen? People have been persuading her, to stay and to leave. But no one has ever forces her neither to stay nor to leave. It all depends on her.

After giving a farewell hugs, she continued walking to Wooyoung’s house. His house wasn’t that much far away from Hoya’s. It was a short fifteen-minute work via a shortcut. His house has a big backyard, for plane landing. Well, yeah, his parents used to be very rich, having their own private jet and landing lane. He must have arrived via his own private jet, knowing that his parents have slowly recovered from the bankrupt.

So, this is it; the end of her journey in Korea, a start of her journey in Europe. But is this truly what she wanted to happen, what she wanted it to be? She, with a shaken heart, presses the door bell firmly, looking forward to what the futures holds. This is for her to decide, by the time Myungsoo come, it will be a goodbye or a hello.

Wooyoung was the one to open the door, he was nervous about today. Jieun has yet to give a firm answer, although she has promised him something that day- the day he asked her to leave with him, to leave Korea behind and go with him. He was nervous regarding her answer that he hasn’t been sleeping all night. Jason, too, just like how Pil Suk is, has no clue on what’s going on. He has prepared himself to leave for the States.

Jieun smile awkwardly, after seeing his figure pop out from behind the door. He has prepared himself well, with a suite of course, that would suit most of people lifestyle there. Jieun knows things are going to be quite complicated once they arrived there. Wooyoung has to take care of things of course, since they have to move to London three days after their arrival.

“You’re here with a luggange. Have you… thought about it?” Wooyoung awkwardly laughs.

“I’m unsure, Wooyoung. I’m sorry; I didn’t know whether to leave or to stay.” Jieun replied.

“Noona! You’re here! Are you going to leave with us?” Jason suddenly ran to her and gives her a warm hugs. He has gotten taller than, almost as tall as she is.

Jason was the one to break the chilly atmosphere. He might be a middle-school student but he’s action only describe him as a childish choding. He hugs people randomly, especially the noona he likes. He never been the understanding type that he usually pop up at the wrong time and ended up being yelled at. He’s a crybaby that he cries a lot, but that side of him was something Jieun loves. He’s easy going, he never hold grudge, and if he got hurt he will said it out loud. He could always break the chilly and cold atmosphere.

However, Jieun was hesitant to answer his question. She was unsure whether to leave or to stay. If she said she’s leaving and ended up staying, Jason will be hurt a lot. If she said she’s going to stay, Jason will become upset over her visits. He was surprised to see her, especially with her bringing a huge luggange, and dressed up nicely. He will definitely think she’s going with them, but it’s better to remain silent and avoid any awkwardness that may just appear out of the blue.

“You’ve gotten a lot bigger, Jason-ah. You’re almost as tall as I am!” Jieun complimented, hugging him back.

“Noona! We haven’t talked at all! I will miss you.”

“Ah, I bring some present for you. Should we take a look at it?” Jieun cheerfully asked.

“Yeah! I’m so excited, where is it noona? Where is it?”

“Let’s go upstairs to your room and I will give it all to you.”

Jason immediately drags Jieun to his room. He’s no longer a boy now, he’s a teenager. He’s already a middle-school student; he has gained so much strength. The last time she saw him, she was only three, or maybe two. He was being carried around, crying a lot, and stumble on his own steps a lot. He fall a lot and he sleep a lot. Jieun remembers how she used to likes him a lot for his cuteness as a baby. However, before successfully dragging Jieun upstairs, he was stopped by his brother.

“Can we talk for a moment?” Wooyoung grab her wrist, preventing her to go.

“Myungsoo will come at 8, we’ll leave by then. You said we’re going to leave at 10, yes?”

Wooyoung sighs, there is a high possibility that she might decide to stay once that man come. It’s crazy once a girl fall in love; they could throw away everything for that one cray thing that has promised them nothing but a long path of being loved. Does being loved mean being happy? Does being loved mean success? He never thinks it is, that is why he told himself how crazy Jieun has become.

There is only one word that could describe Kim Myungsoo: late. He’s late! Worse, he’s late for almost half an hour. Jieun might already leaves by the time he arrived. It may be painful to see his beloved one leaving, but its better rather than letting her leave without any words. It’s better to see her, to send her away, rather than locking him up and being all upset about it. Hoya has texted him earlier in the morning, when he’s still asleep- that Jieun is leaving for sure. He told him how she comes to his house and dragging a luggange. She’s leaving, the whole world is sure she’s leaving.

His eyes are half-open but his hands are all busy dressing himself up. From A to Z, he will have to look perfect. If it’s their last moments together, he will make sure to look perfect. It may be weird for him to wear such clothing, as if he will meeting an important people, but Lee Ji Eun is very important to him. Its okay, everything will be fine. He inhales deep to regain his composture.

He rushes out of the door, slamming it closed that cause the whole house to be shocked. He always keep his cool and calm personalities, no one has ever saw him rushing. If he’s late, he’s going to be even late. He never rushes no matter what happen, so seeing him rushing they could guess that something important has come up.

If he’s about to take the subway, it means he will have to walk for fifteen minutes and taking the subway will cost him another twenty minutes. He’s going to be very late by the time he reach Wooyoung’s house. Not to mention, it’s going to be his first time, he’s going to spent sometime searching for it. Honestly, he has no sense of direction that he got lost easily. Therefore, he took a cab and asked the driver to drive right away, to his destination.

He was nervous, that he keeps sweating despite the cold weather today. The sun isn’t rising at all, the sky glows in grey. It’s like even the sky is upset over her leaving, then how is he supposed to feel? If he’s going to send her away with the word upset written all over his face, won’t it cause her to feel sad? If he’s going to send her happily, won’t she feel hurt? If he’s going to send her happily, won’t he become a liar for lying to himself and to the world? He’s unsure at how he’s supposed to send her away. Should he smile or should he keep that poker face? Should he pushes her away, or should he grabbed her and pulled her to his embrace? He doesn’t know anymore, his heart keep aching.

Last night, he stayed up all night. Jieun has sung him a lullaby, a nice one, yet he couldn’t help but stayed up. He keeps thinking about tomorrow and the fact that she’s leaving. There’s a very high possibilities that she will leave, that she won’t be staying, and if she ever stay, it will feel impossible. He wanted to hopes and keeping it all high, but scared it might bump harshly to the ground.

He arrived at Wooyoung’s house being almost an hour late. He sighs, hoping that he won’t be kicked out of the house because the two are no longer there. He sighs, hoping that Jieun is still inside, waiting for him before her departure. Once she departs, they will be leaving in a whole different world, in the opposite part of the world. Yeah, they’re going to be far away.

He rings the bell, but no one replied. It was unlocked, it might sound rude but his instincts told him to click open the door. Therefore, with much hesitation, he unlocked the door and sneak inside. He must have looked like a burglar, trying to break into a rich person house. Thankfully, no one was there when he did those silly acts.

They were about to leave, Myungsoo arrived right before the two depart. Rather than disturbing them by popping out of the blue, he decided to keep his distance and watch the two behind the glasses. He stands there, watching the two interact with each other. Jieun has a huge sky-blue colored luggange with her; she dressed up formally and nicely, with an American feel.

They were huggings, Jieun handed him her luggange. They were talking and having fun, and Jieun hugs the younger boy. It was unclear to him who that boy is, but judging by his appearance that resembles Wooyoung a lot, it must have been his little brother. The two seems very close, and it seems like they have a noona-dongsaeng relationships, a close one, closer than Sungjong’s and Jieun’s. Then, the two hug again whispering something unclear to each other ear.

Myungsoo was envious, knowing his girlfriend is hugging another boy. Well, if it’s Hoya or some other who has no feelings for her and those who she has never fallen head over heels for her, than he won’t mind, will he? He’s the obsessive type that gets jealous more than easily and seeing her hugging her first love wasn’t a nice view. He suddenly wanted to pop up, grab her wrist and hugs her. His feet soon move, as he approached the two.

“Take care, Wooyoung-ah.” Jieun whispers, as she hugs him for the last time.

“Take care of yourself, IU. We will meet again, soon.” Wooyoung bitterly smile.

“Yeah, I will look forward to our next meeting.”

“Take a good care of her okay, Myungsoo?” He suddenly smirk, as he saw Myungsoo’s figure slowly approaching Jieun.

“Myung- Myungsoo?” Jieun turns her head to face Myungsoo.

“Yeah, I will. See you.” Myungsoo raised one hand half-heartedly.

“See you all.” Jieun said.

The plane soon took off, much to his surprised, Jieun wasn’t in it. Her luggange is gone, yet that person stays close to him. She didn’t leave nor did she plan to take another plane? She suddenly looked at the flying plan and sighs, smiling bitterly as she waves her hand.

“Take care of yourself, Wooyoung! We will meet again!” She yelled before the plan disappeared between the clouds.

Fifteen minutes before departure

“We have to leave, Jieun. He’s not coming, there is no sign of him. I have to arrived there quickly and it tooks quite a long time.”

“Could we please wait for a bit more?”

“No.”

Jieun sighs, he’s not coming. It has been almost two hours, she has texted him and called him, but he didn’t picked it up. He may have changes his mind, refusing to send her away. It might be too painful, that he decided to run away from it. She will understand it, though. It seems like she will have to leave without any farewell.

The plane has arrived and they were standing before the huge air transportation. Wooyoung suddenly hugs her gently, since it was unclear whether she will leave or stay. He hugs her tight, as if they will be world apart. He hugs her tight, as if he truly loves him. She knows he loved her, yet it was too late for her heart to love him as a lover. The confession, it was only a few steps behind, yet it has only turn far too late that it has turned impossible for the two to become lover.

“Are you leaving with me?”

It was a thrilling silence, they were standing, hugging each other beneath the stairs that would leads them to the inside of the cozy plane. It was a thrilling atmosphere that expects a word to come out from soon. It was scary, that one single wrong move might tear it apart.

“I’m sorry, Wooyoung. I don’t think I can.”

She needed to bit her lower lips heart, for her not to burst, for her lips not to shake, for her body not to tremble. Does she want to be with him? Of course yes, he’s an important person in her life that could never been replaced, although he is no longer the owner of her heart. He will always be an important person that she will care a lot about. But right now, she can’t leave, she can’t leave Korea, she can’t leave her life behind. This place has meant a lot to her, she can’t just suddenly leave.

“Why Jieun? I thought you care a lot about me.”

“I… I just can’t. There are so many things here, in Korea that I care about. I have my sister here, I have my friends here, I have Hoya here, I have so many things here. I… I can’t just leave, there is so much things that I love here. It’s true that I care a lot about you. Do you think I want you to leave? No, Wooyoung. I really wanted you to stay, but now… if I have to choose, I’m not ready.”

“Is it because that L? I heard you are now his girlfriend.”

“Yeah,” she smile, “I am. I can’t leave now, not only because I’m his girlfriend, but also because I have so many things that I love here. I can’t be with you, I can’t follow you right now, but I will wait if someday we’re going to meet again. I won’t forget you. But please understand that I can’t leave.”

“You… I guess that’s Jieun, the IU I have always put a liking on.” Wooyoung smile bitterly, patting her head.

“I’m sorry. I have presents for you, I made this for you, I hope you like it.” Jieun said, handing him her huge luggange.

“You have never intended to leave, haven’t you? You never plans to leave, yes?”

“I guess that’s true.”

“Take a good care of yourself, IU. I will look forward to our next meeting.”

“You… You aren’t leaving?” Myungsoo was bewildered to see Jieun standing next to him.

“Hello, Myungsoo. I can’t believe you’re late.” She said calmly, smiling widely as the sight of the plane has gone missing.

“Jieun-ah, are you… staying?”

“I’m here, Myungsoo. I’m here, in Korea.”

“You’re…. not… leaving?”

Jieun shook her head and Myungsoo immediately pulled her to his embrace. He was squeezing her until it was hard for her to breathe. He didn’t let go and keeps on hugging her until Jieun struggles free. The hugs were nice but suffocating, it’s like he has regain something important back to his embrace. Jieun smile when he suddenly hugs her, knowing that he cares a lot about her.

He immediately took her hand and dragged her out of the empty house. It was now empty, Wooyoung’s house is. The old butler has gone back to States, together with him. This house is soon to be sold away since Wooyoung has no plan to comeback to Korea. He will be living in London, studies, and works there. And this place… is a precious place he will always remember and she will always keep inside her heart.

Myungsoo was literally dragging her, all the way, to a place she doesn’t even know. He didn’t talk at all and Jieun could see the slightly furious lights inside his dark orbs. She was taken aback when she first saw that but soon regain her composture as she needed to figure out what has happened.

“Myungsoo-ah, what happen?” Jieun asked when he suddenly force her to sit inside the café.

“Are you kidding me? You are asking me what has happened, unbelievable!” He sounded rude that Jieun flinch.

“Myungsoo, you’re being rude again. Did something bad happen?”

“You said you’re going to leave that I have to stay up all night thinking about it. In the morning, I was late, I’m afraid that you might have left with that guy. And all of the sudden, you’re next to me, acting as everything has never happen. You hug that guy and I will have to bear with all of it. Great, Jieun! Great! Are you joking around? You’re supposed to leave.”

It was very rude, although he manages to regain his composture, his cool and calm acts. Jieun smiles, he was worried over her leaving. He was jealous over her hugging her first love. Well, that’s normal but she has learnt an important thing today: never make Kim Myungsoo jealous or he might come to shoot you.

“You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

“Me, jealous, are you kidding?”

“I’m sorry that I hug him, but it’s our last meeting. He will never go back to Korea and I will never go to the States or Europe to meet him. I hope you could understand and I’m sorry I stayed, if you ever wanted me to leave.”

“You’re unbelievable, Jieun. Truly unbelievable.” He stares coldly at her, as if he’s throwing tantrums.

She will never know, how relieves he is, knowing she didn’t leave. Yet it has become a fact, how he never excelled in being a funny person, an easy-going person, and how he failed to express himself from time to time. It’s a relief that Jieun is an outstanding person, that she could tell what’s on his mind by a single glance to his eyes.

“Noona!”

“Unnie!”

“Jieun-ah!”

“Lee Ji Eun!”

“IU!”

“Yah!”

“Ommo!”

“L”

“Myungsoo?”

10 attacks in one blow, how amazing is it? Jieun was surprised to see 10 people, filling her apartment. Jiyeon and Woohyun were there, comforting the crying Pil Suk, who was still holding the yellow notes she left earlier this morning. Sungjong was having her head down, disappointed over her leaving. Hoya was depressed, knowing his dear childhood friend is no longer in Korea. Dongwoo could only sighs, trying to cheer Sungjong up. The choding mood was kind of down, since he knows Myungsoo would be upset. Sunggyu could only try hard to comfort them one by one, trying to make things better.

Jieun clicked the door open, with the jealous Myungsoo who was still unable to get over his jealousy. He has that cold stares and arrogant act; he has that smirk on his face. Jieun giggled, each time she saw him doing that. Each time their eyes met, he would suddenly hugs her out of the blue and squeezes her that she needs to push him away. And then, she find 10 different people, calling out her name, all in one go. Amazing.

“Noona!” Sungjong was the first to call that her, immediately run to her and hug her tightly.

“Sungjongie~, what are you doing at my place?”

“Noona, you scared me. I thought you’re really going to leave.”

“Unnie!” Then it was Pil Suk that suddenly hugs her with tears running down her cheek.

“Pil Suk-ah, I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t say anything to you, I’m sorry I just left.” Jieun erased her tears with her thumb, hugging her tightly.

“I thought I will never see you again. I thought you left for real, I thought we’re never going to meet again, I though I will be lonely. Unnie, don’t ever do that again! I’m very sad without you, I love you, unnie!”

“I love you, too. I’m sorry, Pil Sukkie~.”

The audience could only smile at the warm relationships the siblings have. They shows warm affection, that is rarely found. Siblings usually fight with each other but they’re different. They never fights, they always understand each other, and it has created such a warm relationship.

“IU-ah, you’re… you’re… not leaving?” Hoya asked, approaching her slowly.

Jieun shook her head as she smiled at him. He opens his arm wide, with a huge satisfied smile on his face, showing how happy he is that she isn’t leaving. He was about to hugs her when Myungsoo immediately gives Jieun a back hugs, pulling her backward so Hoya was unable to hugs the petite young lady.

“Oops, I guess no huggings for today. Welcome back, IU.” Hoya smiles awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head.

“Yeah, right. No huggings for today.” Myungsoo smirk viciously, shooing Hoya away.

“Jieun-ah, you’re here~!” Woohyun sang cheerfully, as he patted her head.

“I’m here. How have you been? Does the injury hurt? It’s all swollen.” Jieun cringes, seeing how badly injured he is.

“I’m fine. I’m glad you didn’t leave. Welcome back, Jieunnie~.” He attempt to hugs her but failed since Myungsoo prevented him to do so.

“What’s wrong with you, Kim Myungsoo?”

“You have any problem with it, Woohyun?”

“Let’s not fight today. Woohyun have had enough fights for now. You don’t want Jieun to be furious, right Myungsoo?” Surprisingly, it was the choding to stop the two from fighting.

“Jieun-ssi, welcome back.” Sunggyu greeted her and Jieun politely bowed.

“Jieun-ssi, what’s wrong with him?” Dongwoo mouthed to her, pointing Myungsoo with his eyes.

“Him?” Jieun replied silently, pointing at Myungsoo.

Dongwoo nods, glancing weirdly at Myungsoo. He keeps preventing boys from hugging Jieun or being closed to her. He’s being her bodyguards, following her around, not letting any boys to come close to her, even if it’s still a meter apart, he would push them away. It’s weird, totally weird.

“He’s just….” Jieun looked at him weirdly from head to toe and lifted her shoulder, “I don’t know, he’s just… jealous.”

Dongwoo suddenly burst laughing, after he saw her mouthing the word jealous. Jieun was bewildered; it was the first time she ever saw him laughing. He usually has that cool and polite aura, but never that much easy-going and fun. He laughs loudly that it makes her wanted to laughs too and she find it charming. The rest of the INFINITE so does an additional of Jiyeon, Woohyun, and Pil Suk was stunned, looking at each other as they were confused on what has happened.

“Dongwoo, what are you doing?” Sunggyu opened up, seeing how he and Jieun suddenly burst laughing although Jieun manages to hold it back.

“Don’t you know what happen to our cool L?” He said between his loud laughs.

“What? What happen to him?”

“He’s… He’s… jealous!”

“What? Really? Seriously?” And the whole house burst laughing with a flustered L.

“Yah! Lee Ji Eun, you have lots of things to explain!” Jiyeon suddenly yell after laughing crazily.

“Jiyeon-ah...” Jieun clapped.

“Save it for later! Now, let’s party! I bought a cake!” Jiyeon cheerfully take out her cakes.

“How could you… What if I decided to leave?” Jieun was stunned.

“Well, I’m your bestfriend. I know you’ll never leave, I trusted you.”

They were having a party all night long, although it wasn’t a big one. Jieun only cooks some simple food since she was too tired and her cold has yet to get better. Jiyeon serves the cakes and Woohyun bought some soda. They were cheering as they have put aside all the worries about Jieun leaving. Tonight, it’s all about having fun.

“I will take my leave, then.” Myungsoo stand by the door.

They have been partying for all night that the clocked has strike 12. The guests are leaving one by one, leaving Jieun, Jiyeon, and Myungsoo behind. Jiyeon has plan for a sleep over, and well, it’s impossible for Myungsoo to join them. If he ever proposes to do so, Jieun will definitely kick him out and Jiyeon will definitely hit him hard. Therefore, he has decided to leave and be the last one to leave.

“Okay, take care of yourself.”

“Take care too.”

“Myungsoo-ah, I’m happy today. I’m very happy, thank you.”

“You don’t regret staying, do you?”

“Not at all, I’m happy that I decided to stay. I’m relieve I didn’t leave because here… there are so many things I have yet to discovered.”

“See you tomorrow I guess.”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow.”

“Good night, Jieun.”

“Good night, Myungsoo. Sleep well; call me if you have trouble sleeping.”

“I love you.”