SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING~~ HAD TO DO HOMEWORK STUFFIES T.T I also have other reasons for not having updated this (one being I have officially finished my first fanfic on AFF!) that I will explain at the bottom A/N! Thank you guys, I officially have 52 subscribers now! ASDFGHJKL LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!♥

Where was Jonghyun? Seriously, the man was supposed to be here at least ten minutes ago!

            Myungsoo looked at his watch again, sighing. It was already 3:30. He had to go home soon…seriously, where was Jonghyun?!

            From his back, he heard the door open. “Oh –“

            He stopped midway when a messed up Sungyeol stumbled in. The older boy crashed onto his knees and Myungsoo could vividly hear him sniffling.

            “W – wha – “

            Sungyeol fell onto the ground and looked up at him. “A – Appa’s…not…here?”

            Blinking a bit, Myungsoo bent down and shook his head. “No, your dad’s not here…what…what’s wrong with you?”

            “School,” Sungyeol answered quietly, wiping his tears away from his eyes. “Appa…phone…said that he was here…”

            The same feeling that he hated appeared again. That little thing that felt like somebody shoved a ball down your throat and it kept getting smaller, but wouldn’t disappear and your breathing started fastening. Myungsoo hated this feeling.

            “I – I’m sorry, Myungsoo,” Sungyeol apologized quickly as he kept pushing endless tears away. “I just….I’m sorry.”

            He remembered Myungsoo’s name. From yesterday. He actually, really remembered.

            Myungsoo didn’t know what to do. There was the guy he hated, all vulnerable. Should he punch Sungyeol in the face? Yeah, that seemed pretty reasonable. It would help him a lot, but it sure as heck wouldn’t help Sungyeol in any way.

            “Come on,” Myungsoo sighed as he stood up.           

            “What – t?” Sungyeol managed to breathe out. He stared blankly at the hand stuck out to him.

            “I’ll take you home,” the younger boy offered. His voice was calm and soft, but Sungyeol still heard him. The sound was so familiar to Sungyeol’s ears, but he didn’t know why. All he knew was that the voice had somehow managed to soothe him, just somehow.

            With the help of Myungsoo, Sungyeol had managed to stand up and walk out of the recording studio.

“MYUNGSOO!” Sungjong screamed when he got home. “MYUNGSOO!”

            When he heard no answer, he just groaned and flopped himself back onto the couch. What was he supposed to do with these two tickets to Lee Sungyeol’s concert? The big idea of selling a ticket online in order to buy merchandise at the concert kept popping up in his head, but he couldn’t do it. He was secretly hoping that Hwayoung would call and tell him that she was still free.

            Okay, he admitted it: he liked Hwayoung. He didn’t dare admit it to anybody; they’d all just be confused as to why he chose her out of all the girls at school. Sungjong didn’t know himself…there was just something about Ryu Hwayoung that caught his eye. She always had good grades, she wasn’t a big gossip person, and most of all, she respected Lee Sungyeol’s privacy. He didn’t know why, but that kind of attracted him. She wasn’t all over Lee Sungyeol, following his every footstep and drooling over him, despite the fact that she was a big fan and had all his albums.

            The way she stammered was also pretty cute, in its own awkward way. Sungjong didn’t know if she liked him back, but he was pretty sure.

            Pshh, of course. What was he thinking? Everybody loved Sungjong.

Dongwoo shuffled through his room, throwing everything around. Where was his necklace?! Where did he leave it?

            He knew that if it was at the recording studio, Jonghyun would’ve given it back to him by now. But obviously, it wasn’t. That necklace was precious to him – it was everything. It was his goodbye present from his mother, a note never to come back home until he became successful.

            Which was why he was living with Jonghyun right now.

            Hwayoung had come home a while ago with Fei, who had arrived back to South Korea. He hadn’t had time to greet them, but Hwayoung did tell him that she didn’t see his necklace last night.

            The JD necklace was all pure gold and silver. It would’ve cost a lot if it was sold in the black markets, or even sold to a store. Anybody would’ve easily recognized it as Jang Dongwoo’s necklace if Dongwoo had bothered to advertise that he had the precious necklace on him in interviews. Oh, no, the necklace was much more important to him than just jewelry to show off.

            He stopped just as his hand landed on a gray jacket. The background song that was blasting in his room was Lee Sungyeol’s BTD.

            BTD…the boy…the school…his necklace.

            Dongwoo’s eyes widened he paused his music, turned off the light, and ran out the door.

“There! Perfect! Now, none of the security guards will recognize you, and you can go on your date with Sungjong!” Fei smiled, clapping her hands together.

            “Really, Unnie?” Hwayoung rolled her eyes. “Sungjong won’t even recognize me. Is that what you’re aiming at?”

            Hwayoung was completely decked out in a blonde wig with brown highlights, large sunglasses, a strapless black tank top, a tight silver pencil skirt, and black diamond-studded flats.

            Basically, she looked like a .

            Not that s dressed like that. But with Hwayoung’s innocent, body, wearing a mini dress would make her look like a .

            “Good point you have there,” Fei sighed, biting her finger. Unlike her little sister, anything that Lee Fei wore, she just looked like a beauty Goddess. “Uh…um…you can, like…seriously, I’m lost now.”

            “Ooh!” Hwayoung pulled off her sunglasses and threw them in the corner. She wanted to jump up and down, but the skirt did not allow her to do that. “How about we fire the guards for a day, and then –“

            “No. You know how strict Appa is on security.”

            Groaning, Hwayoung fell onto her bed. “Then what do I do? Skip out on a chance to go out with Sungjong?! Unnie, I can’t do that!”

            “I know, not after I had to survive with your ‘oh, Sungjong’s so hawt’ rants for the past five years,” Fei told her.

            “Shut up.”

            “But if you think about it, wouldn’t it be weird if you told him you weren’t going to go, and then appeared at Sungyeol’s concert with him?”

            Hwayoung shrugged, sighing. “All I know is that I hate this. WHY…WHY LEE SUNGYEOL?! WHY THAT CONCERT OUT OF ALL CONCERTS…”

            “Because everybody loves Lee Sungyeol,” Fei snorted. “I mean, scoring tickets to Sungyeol’s concert is already really hard on its own. If he got two, then it means he really did think about you…”

            “Gahh.” Hwayoung took a pillow and stuffed her face into it. “I hate being Lee Hwayoung.”

“Your tempo’s too fast!”

            Woohyun pouted, sitting back down. No matter what he did, nothing was perfect for Sunggyu. He was either too forte, or his tempo went too slow, or now, it went too fast. Nothing he did was good enough.

            “How on earth am I supposed to work with you when you can’t even sing properly?!” Sunggyu demanded, pacing back and forth. “I can’t believe Jonghyun expects me to work with you…I just…”

            Calm down, Woohyun, the younger boy told himself as he breathed in and out. He’s just trying to get you better…that’s all…

            “You’re horrible! Nothing I do is going to work. You might as well just drop your dream of becoming an artist if this is all you’re capable of getting to!”

            “Will you stop it?!” Woohyun shouted, standing up. No anger management exercises were going to calm him down now. “Look, I’ve been trying so hard to please you, and I’m tired of you putting me down for every little mistake I make! I get it, I’m not as good as you, but stop shoving it in my face! You’re my sunbae, of course you’re better than me! I’m sorry for anything I did to make you hate me so much, I’m sorry, from the bottom of my heart. I’m trying to fix any errors I have with my singing so that I can work with you, hyung, I’m trying so hard.”

            Sunggyu stopped walking, frozen in place and staring at his screaming dongsaeng.

“Do you know how long I dreamed of this day?! To be able to join on stage with Kim Sunggyu? And now, not only am I living that dream, but I can also be in the same group, make an album with him! It already hurts to watch my role model putting down everything I do, but when you start saying that I have to drop my dream, that’s where I have to intervene. Please, Sunggyu hyung, just please. I’m begging you. Just accept me.”

            Woohyun collapsed onto his knees, burying his crying face into his hands.

Hoya stared around the empty auditorium and sighed, turning off the music. His eyes landed on the necklace lying on top of the stereo and he just stared at it for a second.

            The guy had lied to him, obviously. He wasn’t a new student, so what was he doing at the school that late at night? Robbery? But with a necklace like that, there was no way that the guy needed money. Unless he stole the necklace, too.

            JD...why did those two initials sound so familiar? Hoya just couldn’t get his finger on it. JD. What? Why…   

            His eyes widened as he fumbled with the stereo, turning it to the next track, waiting…waiting…finally. Jang Dongwoo’s crying ft. Lee Sungyeol. Right before the rap sequence, a whisper took place.

            “JD.”

“Go to the bathroom,” Myungsoo directed, “and wash yourself up.”

            Inaudibly, Sungyeol nodded and managed to walk into his room’s bathroom without too much difficulty.

            Myungsoo groaned, wanting to kick himself. Why the freak was the helping the guy when in reality, he wanted the beat the out of him? Life and conscience worked in weird ways.

            He stared around Sungyeol’s room and noticed something: the walls were all covered with awards and posters of promotions. As he walked around, he came upon Sungyeol’s three bookshelves filled with CD’s and albums. Myungsoo examined them carefully, running his fingers along the titles. It was all there, every single album, every single digital single recorded, every single song that he recorded but was not released. Everything. It was all there, not a single recording missing. There were even some that he didn’t even remember that he had recorded.

            As he went lower through the bookshelves, Myungsoo could see a set of CD’s labeled “test trials”. When he managed to look through it, he realized what it was. Every single time he sang into the microphone for a test to see if it worked…Jonghyun actually recorded them and burned it into a CD…that Sungyeol kept.

            It’s probably just garbage, Myungsoo thought as he took another round through the room. This time, something caught his eye. On the desk, there was a bright book. It was neon pink with silver sparkles pasted around it.

            Without noticing it, Myungsoo giggled a little. He took ahold of the book and noticed that the cover said “Lee Sungyeol: Poems.”

            This time, he really couldn’t help it. Myungsoo snorted as he read the cover again. What poems did Sungyeol write? Ones about pink unicorns that jumped over double rainbows in sparkly paradise?

            He opened the cover to read: This is Lee Seongyeol’s~~ please don’t look, ne? Kamsahamnida~!!

            …Yep. Pink unicorns it was.

            Ignoring the warning, Myungsoo turned the page to find the first poem. It was marked to about a four years ago, and the handwriting was a little off, but still readable.

Everyday I try to forget

The problems that were faced

The dreams that had been shattered

The forgotten, complete disgrace

By the time I’ve reached home,

I’m bored and half dead

Waiting for the day that

A wish will be granted.

            He just looked at it. Stared. Did Lee Sungyeol, the same one he knew, the one that was failing school and crying in the bathroom, write this? No. This wasn’t possible. There weren’t any double rainbows or sparkly paradises in sight. There was something wrong, major.

            Myungsoo flipped the pages a little more to get to the middle of the book. When he saw the date, he realized that it was about two years ago. Something, something had to be better.

Please, just let me go

I’m sitting here, crying out my soul

Nothing’s working

I feel so gone

These pieces of myself,

They’re all so torn.

            Was Sungyeol clinically depressed or something? No, not the choding that always appeared on camera. This wasn’t him. There was something going on, something about this book that couldn’t be true.

            The feeling in Myungsoo’s throat tightened even more, just when he thought it was going away. Quickly, he turned it to the last few blank pages, then back until he discovered the last poem that was written…yesterday.

I’m choking on broken records of my heart

The pain won’t subside.

I’ll keep staying here,

Lonely and self-deprived.

Somebody please help me,

I need a chance to actually survive.

            The pain overtook Myungsoo completely as the book slipped from his sweaty fingers. Behind him, a voice appeared. A throaty voice, sounding like it would cry again.

            “M – Myungsoo?”

THOSE POEMS T.T yes, I wrote them all. It hurt to write them, to be honest, and a big reason it took  me so long to update was because I didn't know how to write poems. Sungyeol writing a dairy seemed kind of awkward to me because Myungsoo had to be able to read it quckly without him knowing. I'm sorry if the poems aren't in legit format or anything, sorry!! I'm not a poet ._. 

Okay, so to be honest, last chapter was the last time I was going to do comment replies on my story T.T School is starting TOMORROW for me, and I know for a fact that I won't have time to comment reply unless I slack, and to be quiet honest, I'm an girl with Asian parents and a reputation of good grades to hold up. I WILL reply to ALL of your comments on your wall though, SO DON'T WORRY! It's just because it's more flexible for me, so that I can   reply whenever I want to rather than having to sit myself down for a long period of time and reply all at once :) THANK YOU YOU ALL, I LOVE YOU!! PLEASE COMMENT THOUGH, I WOULD LOVE TO SEE WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT WOOGYU (it was pretty sad, huh? T.T), HWAJONG (now you know Jongie's real feelings!), YADONG (HOYA KNOWS!!! MAYBE! ;]), FEI (she appeared!!), and MYUNGYEOL (hehehehe!). Also, tell me how my poems are going T.T if you hate them, I swear, I will never write poems again. ♥ bahaha byeee~~