Falling in love with someone unexpectedly is a mixture of bitterness and sweetness. Bitterness because there isn't any assurance of having in return the love you gave away and; Sweetness because you devote yourself to that person in exchange for having him as your inspiration.

I don't even have any idea why I am writing this now.... Maybe because I am too in love with this person but we are like heaven and earth from the very start. He is an unreachable star whereas I am but one of those dust particle being stepped on in the earth. But you know what? We ended up together.

I never really have thought that such thing will happen, maybe that is why the word 'miracle' existed but then again I realized that miracles can't last long, that is the time when he left me alone without any more words, even good bye. And now I am stuck forever in this place and I can't even move on even an inch. I wish that this is just nothing but a phantom of my mind... I wanna wake up from this nightmare where I seemed to be trapped forever.

Sometime I wonder if he feels the same way like I do, I wonder if he misses me too.. And often times my mind will linger over the thought that he will come back again, regretting that he left me back then.

If letting go is the easiest way, then maybe I am taking it the hard way because my heart refused to let him go.. My heart doesn't act like it is my heart, even if I tell it to throw away all memories of him in it, to close the space allotted for him, still it won't.

Whenever I eat, I have to scold myself to stop the tears from flowing so I could swallow my food without choking. Whenever I sleep, I have to scold my mind from flashing his face or else I'll stay up all night, remembering him again. Whenever I do anything, all I can think of is him. Because I should have been with him if only he didn't abandon me..

Life has been hard since he was gone, I have too smile in front of others when deep inside every bits and pieces of my heart is being ripped apart. I can't do anything because I know without him I am nothing and even if others say that I am a fool, I don't care and just keep it cool. I love him. Love is never logical nor rational. I'll do anything to make him mine. Being a fool for the second time won't hurt much since today, and even tomorrow, I only want him in my life..

Reading this letter again tears my heart apart once more and makes me laugh at myself at the same time, make fun of the old me who seemed to be another person now. I didn't expect to find all these remnants of the past again.

Earlier this morning I found all the courage to leave laziness alone inside the bathroom and clean the clutters in my room, until I found this box filled with memories I want nothing but to forget. I wonder why I even brought this with me when I went here in London 5 years ago. Maybe it is because I am still as naive as a baby with the cruelties of the world. That I am nothing but an idealist teenager who only wants to see things in a positive way.

Right now, sitting in my balcony on one of the luxurious apartments, sorry if I have to point out that it is luxurious, I just feel so proud at being able to own something despite me being belittled by others, anyway, sitting in my balcony as I sip a warm earl-Grey tea, holding this letter and seeing the old pictures and other things In the box makes me remember the foolishly innocent Soonkyu Choi back then.

FLASHBACK (Note: texts in italic are Sunny's POV from the present)

It's summer vacation so that means no school. But still whether there are classes or not, it's just the same since we are home schooled. Taemin, my little brother of 3 years and I are playing on our DS when mom called us to our family room.

“Taeminnie, did you play a prank on butler Lee again?” I asked, pausing the game that I am playing

“Aniyo noona”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course” he said and smiled at me

“Let's go and see mommy then”

Never did I thought that our conversation with our mom will bring joy to our one's boring school life.

Taemin and I entered the spacious room filled with pink rose, well it's mom's favorite flower and color so that is why. Across the room a very beautiful lady with the most fascinating eye-smile got up from her seat and walked to us and give each of us a sweet peck on the cheeks

“Mommy, I didn't do anything I swear” Taemin announced

“Haha. No honey, of course you didn't”

My mom has a husky and yet a very cute voice that draws everyone for it. She is not the type who nags every second, rather she is a modest woman and the kindest mom ever but she turns really scary when she is mad so even dad is scared of her in that sense.. kkk. Mom's laughter is like that of a songbird.. so serene to the soul..

“Is schooling going to start early as usual again?” I asked

“Actually, you will no longer be home schooled anymore my babies..”

“Jinjayo mommy?” Tae and I asked

“Yes. Daddy and I thought that it's better if you will get exposed and if you can get to mingle with the other children of your age, especially that you're almost about to enter a university my Soonkyu”

“Would that affect my training in SM Entertainment mom?” Taemin asked, at the age of 13, my brother was scouted as a trainee in a prestigious entertainment company because of his dancing skills.

“Daddy has already arranged everything Tae, no need to worry”

“Mommy what will be my school? Will Tae and I be on the same school?” I asked. That coming year, I am already on my 3^rd and last year in high school while my little brother will be on his first year in high school.

“I have talked with Ms. Victoria during the Paris Fashion week and she recommended her son's school. Seoul Art High School. You can develop your talent there honey. And Tae can meet with the other trainees since most trainees from entertainment companies go to that school”

“Ms. Victoria Song?!” Taemin and I asked again then we both looked at each other and high fived over the fact that we could go to a normal school already, “Gomawo umma!!!!!”

“Miss Hwang, Mr. Choi is on the phone”

I felt disappointed and excited at that time because the but;er has interfered with our alone time with mom but excited because of the new environment. I can't definitely wait anymore..

That night before going to sleep, I started marking the calendar which is a month more to go before class started.

Days passed by quickly and Taemin and started to go in the school. Our family driver dropped us in front of the gates and Taemin used the map given by dad to locate the auditorium for the orientation of transferees and freshmen.

After the orientation, Taemin and I went to the separate ways and I started to look for the senior's building..

(Kindly strart loading this vid.. ^^ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kROEGGMuyow )

“Hello new face, are you a freshman?” a cute pumpkin-look-a-like boy smiled at me

“I am on my 3^rd year” I said and smiled

“Chinja? You look so young and so small” he said

“They say I am really small but it's OK. I don't want to be like a giant girl *smiles *”

“Haha. You are funny. Hmm. Which class are you in? I am on my 3^rd year too, Lee Sungmin imnida”

“Choi Soonkyu. 3-A”

“What a coincidence. I am also in 3-A. Want to come to class with me?”

“Sure. Thank you. I actually can't find the right building” I admitted

Sungmin and I walked together, we passed by on the soccer field where there are a lot of girls, out of curiosity, I walked toward the group of girls and Sungmin, my new found friend followed behind me.

“What's going on there?” I asked

“Hmm.. Luhan and his team are having a warm up game maybe” he shrugged

“LuHan?”

“Yes. He is the soccer club team captain. He's from China actually”

I squeezed myself against the other girls and thanks to my height, I succeed..

(please play)

That moment, time seemed to stop and like the only people in the world is me and that cute guy, holding the soccer ball..

“That is Luhan you are looking at” Sungmin said, removing me from my trance

Luhan, the Chinese soccer star.. I knew from that then on that I fell in love with a Beautiful stranger.

“Kyaaa!!!! Luhan oppa waved at me!!!!” the girl beside me said

“No. He waved at me” I said

“What did you just say?” she asked

“She waved at me. That simple” I said

“Do you want to lose your hair?!”

“Ya.. Soonkyu, don't start a fight, you're just new here..” Sungmin whispered and pulled me away from the crowd

“But he really waved at me” I whined

“He waved to no specific person. Aigooo”

The school bell rang and all students were asked to go inside their class while I am waiting outside our room. It was said that this is how it is. Transferred student should wait outside to be introduced by their teacher.

“Ms. Choi, please come in”

“Ne. Sonsaengnim”

I entered our classroom and saw different beautiful faces, among them are Sungmin and Luhan...

“Annyeonghasaeyo. Choi Soonkyu imnida”

As the days passed, I feel like I am in cloud 9 because beside me is Luhan. We never really talked with each other because he seemed to be a silent type. The sad thing is that only Sungmin is my only friend who soon became my best friend.

One day Sungmin was absent because of flu so I have to eat my snacks alone. I was walking to the library while sipping my banana uyu when I slipped and accidentally poured my milk to someone's uniform

“Omo.. I am sorry. I am really really sorry” I said while a lot of people are looking at us and the person I didn't dare to look at

“It's OK. Be more attentive next time” he said, offering me his hand to help me up

I took it and the moment I looked at him, my tongue twisted and I can't utter a single word, he smiled at me and left... Luhan.. that angelic smile..

That moment, I made the most important decision of my life.. I have founded the Dear Deer fanclub which aimed to welcome all the Luhan fans like me.

I didn't actually had difficulty, after I posted the posters on the walls, not less than 5 minutes, several ladies started to come to me in the classroom I told them to go and soon it was filled with fangirls that we can no longer fit in one room.

Everyday then, we will have meetings and raise funds for Luhan and his team. We always watch their competitions and make big banners for him and the whole Seoul art High school football club.

And everyday, my feeling for Luhan gets even intense.

One fine winter morning, I decided to grab a coffee at a coffee shop. Since it is a weekend, the other fangirls and I decided to take a break from meetings. I ordered an ice cold americano, I think it is an unusual habit of mine ever since. I love cold drinks even on cold weather.

After I ordered, I decided to roam around the beautiful city of Seoul and ended up walking on one of the busiest places, Myeongdong.

I was busy looking at the beautiful wedding dress when I didn't notice the approaching man and spilled my coffee on his expensive Dolce and Gabbana shirt.

“Omona. I am sorry”

“! Are you blind or what?!”

I didn't expect it, nor do I expect the man behind the voice.. Luhan

“I am really sorry, let me wipe it” I said, pulling my handkerchief

“You again? You know what, you are so unlucky that there are no people here who recognize me. Now I am as pissed as before when you spilled that disgusting milk!!!”

I kept my head hanging low, I really didn't expect him to be like that to me. But well, it's winter and to be spilled with a cold drink in a cold weather is really irritating. “I am really sorry” I said

“Aish. As if it can change the damage” he said and walked away, bumping my shoulder which made me stumble on the ground. I sighed and smiled, “Our shoulder touched... omona!!!! *fangirl mode *”

Once the class started, I approach Luhan and whenever people are around, he will talk sweetly at me, thanking me for being his fanclub president and everything, but when there is only the two of us, he won't even talk to me, or he'll just leave. Well I understand that, he don't want to have a scandal. PERIOD. Luhan is not mean.

One day, our teacher gave us a project and Luhan is my partner. It is in psychology class that we have to make a model of a man's brain. I offered our home but he refused, saying that he don't know my family so why will he go to my house. In the end, he said that I go to his house at 8pm sharp that night so we can finish it since it is for submission the next day.

That night, I went to his house.. Not bad on the outside. It is also a big one like ours. I rang the door bell and was shocked when a beautiful woman came to open it.

“Miss Victoria?!” I said, surprised

“Soonkyu?! Are you Tiffany's little Soonkyu?!” she asked in a voice as sweet as honey

“Yes Miss. I Luhan there already? Is he your son”

“Omo. Just call me Aunt Vic.. Yes. Yes he is.. and yes, he is my son. I didn't expect it. Come in dear, it's cold outside”

“Thank you Aunt Vic”

“Come here, follow me”

We took a flight of stairs then she opened a door. “Luhan, your classmate is here. Why didn't you tell me that she is your classmate. Soonkyu, come in”

I smiled and waved at him whilst he look as bored as a fish in a bowl.

“She is your Aunt Tiffany's daughter. You used to play when you were kids.. Oh, those days.. you even kissed her”

O__O He did?

“Mom. I can't remember whatever you're saying, can you leave us now? We have to finish our project”

“OK, I'll be back with your snacks kids”

Luhan and I started doing our projects.. Or should I say he started doing our projects, after I accidentally broke one of the sticks, he started to grab everything from me and work in silence..

I heard a knock on the door and we both stood up, “I'll open it” I said, he nodded and was about to sit down when I tripped and pulled him down with me, making him lay flat on me, our noses are almost touching..

“Oh my God!!! What are you doing?!” I heard Aunt Vic squeal and dropped the tray she was holding.

That same night, my mom and dad came rushing to the Song's Manor and they started discussing about 'OUR' marriage which will take place soon.

“Siwon ah, you know that we are from a traditional Chinese family..” Mr. Zhou Mi said

“I know, and you know that as a soldier of God, I can't allow premarital ”

“When did you guys started dating?” my mom asked

“It's not what you think” we both said

But in the end.. The next morning.. I came walking down the aisle with him waiting for me on the altar.. There is no room for escape because it's a closed-door wedding with only our parents' as witness and surrounded by several body guards..

After the wedding, we were brought to his parents' rest house up in a mountain..

On our first night,

“There is only one bed and one room” I announced, eyes not looking at him

“Then sleep on the floor” he said to me

“Luhan. I love you.. Don't you feel the same?” I asked

“Excuse me but this is already a very small cottage, no more rooms for illusions.” he said then slammed the bedroom door behind him. Leaving me curled up in a ball in the living room without any blanket despite the cold weather.

The next morning, being Luhan's wife already instilled in my mind... I cooked breakfast for him and waited for him to wake up.. But no one is going out from his room until 4pm. I decided to open the door and found it empty..

I called my parents and told them what happened.. turned out that Luhan escaped and went away to nobody-knows where.

The next day, I started going to school again as if nothing happened. No one knew that we got married and I can't find Luhan anymore. He also left school.

Everyday until graduation, I waited for him.. I even framed our marriage contract. His mom always go to our house everyday, even she don't know where he is. She said that no matter what, I am her only daughter-in-law.

After graduation, I decided to leave everything and went to study and live independently in London

END OF FLASHBACK

“Noona, what time is your departure tomorrow?”

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

Annyeong... Sorry if I only updated today.. I got really busy with school mianhae.. *bows*
Please tell me about your thought with this chapter, O would love to see your comments.. ^^
And uhm.. SunSun is not much of a big pairing in this fic.. maybe SunKris? kkk. XD
Hello to my new subscribers and hello again to my paradise friends.. o/