A/N: Sooo I wanted to apologize about the last chapter. Most of it was just replies to comments, and yes...I know I write long replies. But that's because people wrote long comments! I can probably write a whole story off of a one word comment >< I'm that bad. I just like talking to my commenters xDD Anyways, I'm glad that everyone liked Sungmin's pink pen. I felt very proud of him and that pink pen of his. Well here's Siwon's entry! (Yaaaaay Siwon~ <3) Him and his lovey doveyness with Kibum makes my heart swell in happiness. 

And about my other fic, I got a co-writer! Woohoo! She's actually one of my readers on here! :D I was so excited, my heart nearly burst with happiness. Ah...but we lost a subscriber there...sadly enough. But let's hope we get more readers there and here ^^; If you want, and can handle an original band then come read the new ficcie "Illuminate Your World"!! :D I'll love you forever. Well...I love you for infinity and beyond right now, but it'll be amplified to the nth degree! ^^; Take care my readers, I love you!! And hopefully you enjoy this chapter! :D

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Journal,

Is this going to be our normal greeting? Where I say it’s been a few days, and apologize? Should we just expect that I won’t write for a little while? I feel extremely bad for this, but I think it would be easier than repeating the same things over and over. Before I know it, I could easily forget that I was actually sincere about saying these things. I would forget that I should say ‘I’m sorry for not writing in a while’ with a sincere heart. I don’t want that to happen. I want to say everything to you from the bottom of my heart and mean it 100%.

If you accept the fact that I will normally write to you from a couple to a handful of days instead of everyday, then I will feel more at ease. If not, then I will work harder to write to you more often.

…I’ve made that promise before, haven’t I?

I don’t want to continue making that promise too if I don’t ever fulfill it. Truthfully, I can’t really focus on working harder to write right at the moment. My schedule has been jam-packed as usual, and it wouldn’t be right to continue writing every single day and pushing my schedule back. At the very least I could work harder to write every three days, but that’s even pushing it.

It would definitely be easier to write whenever I’m able to.

On the bright side, I’m happier than I have ever been. The fact that Kibum and I are together now has made me the happiest person alive. At first, I was unsure of whether or not I loved him. (As you can tell from the last time I wrote to you.) I was so confused about my feelings that I didn’t know if I was leading him on or not.

As days last on, I’m finding that I’m caring more and more for him. I think I might be falling for him, if I haven’t already. If I have fallen for him, then I’m falling even more for him.

And when I kiss him…wait…I shouldn’t talk about that with anyone. Let’s just say that I really enjoy that too.

Kibum fits perfectly in my arms as if he was made for me to hold him. Just the thought of how perfect he feels in my embrace makes me never want to let him go. The fact that I found someone like that makes my day brighter. I never imagined that I would ever find someone who would fit me so perfectly.

I think our relationship has made Kibum happy as well. His mood immediately picked up when I confessed to him. He was wary at first, possibly wondering if I was going to hurt him later, but his wariness immediately went away after our first kiss.

Alongside his mood lift, his acting has cleared up. It was as if the fact that his acting was muddled by his feelings. Truthfully, I feel awful that his acting was messed with because of his feelings for me.

When I knew that his acting was naturally good, I felt so bad for being the reason. The feeling of responsibility overwhelmed me so much that I talked the director into giving Kibum another chance.

Thankfully, he did well on the chance he was given, and our drama filming finally started off on a roll. His acting ability and bright personality won over the other actors who had ill-feelings towards him.

My heart swells so much with pride and love for him each time I see someone new on our drama site talking to him. It even swells when he jokes around with Yoona and IU. I’m so proud that he found them as friends. They’re good friends to have.

A couple of days ago, we actually got back from a small two day trip to the country side for filming. Kibum and I had to leave early the second day since we had to drop Donghae and Eunhyuk off at the airport so that they could go on the trip to Japan.

The two announced to most people that the trip was just for aiding those idols going to Japan. However, those in our apartment know that it’s mainly a journey to see if Eunhyuk is actually part Japanese. Most of us don’t believe that he is anything other than Korean, but one would never know. Maybe he could find some distant relative that’s Japanese. That would be better than finding out that he’s 100% Korean. I pray that his heart doesn’t hurt too much from what he finds out.

I think that Eunhyuk possibly hurting was the main reason that the rest of us agreed to send Donghae to Japan as well. Eunhyuk helped Donghae with his hurting heart, there’s no doubt that Donghae would do the same for Eunhyuk when he finds out that he’s not Japanese.

I’ve always wondered how he got that notion into his head, but I won’t question much further. People will believe what they want to believe, and they will find out sooner or later whether their beliefs were real.

Anyway, we were going to get into trouble for leaving early, but with Kibum’s friends backing us up, we actually were able to get away. That wasn’t the only time they have revealed their value.

I’ve known Yoona for a few years now. She has always been a sweetheart. Sure, there are times when she enjoys pranking others around her, but she’s always had a sincere heart. The fact that she and Kibum have become friends is great. I hope that those two can remain friends for a very long time.

Now, IU has only been in the entertainment industry for a couple of years, so this is the first time I’m working with her. However, from what I’ve seen of her she’s been a pretty good girl. Her entire personality is so innocent and pure, that I feel like she’s also a good friend for Kibum to have.

And since I’m with Kibum now, I’ve been able to hang out with them a bit more whenever I’m not busy with other things. Hanging out with all of them has been fun. I think I might ask Kibum to ask them to come and hang out with us when everyone’s around. I’m pretty sure that they’d fit in well with the others.

I think it might have to wait, though, because we’re all stressed about Heechul and Han Geng’s shaky relationship. Sungmin wanted to create a plan, and with how smooth he was about it, I wondered if he planned Kibum and me getting together. I know he planned something to the extent of getting Kibum to stay, but I wondered if us falling for each other was part of a plan. Is he a secret match maker or something?

Well, we couldn’t really come up with a plan since Sungmin said that the ones that effectively pull it off were none other than Donghae and Eunhyuk. And they left for Japan.

Wait…during my frantic search for Kibum that night, I constantly saw Eunhyuk and Donghae hiding. I wondered what they were doing, but I didn’t want to confront them because I was too worried about Kibum.

Were they actually following me around?

Was match-making really part of Sungmin’s plan?

It’s all falling into place now. All of those coincidental talks weren’t really coincidental…were they?

I should make a point to thank Sungmin for all that he’s done. If it weren’t for him, Kibum wouldn’t be here. I wouldn’t know that I loved him either. Sungmin has done so much for us that I don’t know how I could possibly thank him.

…

Ah, I was also thinking of giving Kibum that last part to the gift that I never handed over the night of the scavenger hunt. I sent the locket and a picture of us into a specialist to get a picture put in that perfectly fit into it yesterday. I just now received a call from them saying that the locket is ready.

I’m going to go pick it up, and possibly come up with a way to give it to him tonight. Wish me luck Journal. God Bless You and all that you do~

Take care~

~Soldier of Light~