>>...At Monday morning a dead body was found at Bukhan-river, on the countryside. The discovery of the young man was being investigated as a suicide by jumping off a bridge and is currently further investigated. The police has not been able to identify the victim yet...<<

L.Joe turned the TV off, startled by what he had just heard. No, it can't be him. If it is then Sora will... he looked at her, hoping she hadn't heard the news since she was busy doing her homework.

However, his hopes crashed when he saw her blank expression staring at the black TV screen. Her hands trembled but neither did she say something, nor did she avert her gaze from the screen in front of her.

L.Joe knew what she was thinking right now.

He walked over to the table, sat next to her and pulled her close, embracing her tightly. >>We don't even know for sure if it's him. It could be anyone. There are a lot of people committing suicide nowadays<<, he tried to explain but Sora wouldn't listen. >>We both know it's him. I killed him and that can't be blandished.<< Her voice was only above a whisper but her gaze spoke louder than her voice.

L.Joe could feel she was in shock and he knew she felt guilty. He tightened his hold around her shoulders, just hugging her while she started sobbing and finally cried.

>>It's not your fault. He killed himself, he was crazy. It is not your fault<<, L.Joe repeated over and over again but it didn't comfort her. She just continued to cry.

If it wasn't for the feeling of being a murderer it was out of sorrow. Sora had loved L, maybe she still did. She didn't know herself.

But regardless of her feelings she knew she was responsible for his death. The moment she had told him she wouldn't go with him she was guilty.

I should have come with him . . . No, I couldn't have done that. I don't love him like I love L.Joe, I never did. Then what were I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do now?

>>Dear diary,

I believe that people can sense it when something is going wrong. We just unknowingly lie to ourselves by choosing in what we do not want to.

That's why we get hurt at the end when it's all too late.

But if being in love only hurt people why would everyone want it so much? It's because of the illusion you're no longer lonely.

Eventually, that was the main reason I loved L.

I always told myself that I loved him. I knew he was my stalker and still I chose to ease my pain by lying to myself. Loving him was easier than facing the loneliness I felt.

Well, I guess this lie developed to be partly true. I did love him, but still we could have never been together. It was fine as long as we lived in our own little world, away from anybody.

But the reality, my actual life, looks completely different. My father, Chaejin and L.Joe are the people I want in my life. I know I can always count on them and I'm truly thankful for having them by my side.

They helped me through a lot and also made me realize that the one thing I'm supposed to do is to go on and live my life without regrets. There's nothing else I can do or could have done in the past. Now, three months later, I know that L's death wasn't my fault. That it was his decision and that I couldn't have changed anything about it.

Now I can say I don't regret to have loved him. He helped me to overcome the loneliness and depression I felt after my mother's death. Just like Chaejin taught me to smile and L.Joe taught me to laugh, L taught me to love. They all helped me to find myself again and in the end I can say I don't regret coming to Seoul.

PS: I finally finished writing the song I had promised L. Back then, I didn't know what to write but today I just started playing the piano and at the thought of him, the words came to my mind. It does not have a title yet but I think of naming it after the one who was supposed to receive it – L.<<

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Okay, that's the end (omg it's so short >.<) of 'I only miss you when I'm breathing'. I know I took my time to finally update the last chapter but that's because school up most of my time -.- ... but now I've finished everything and I can say I'm really happy and proud : D

For anyone who is confused with the last part (the song she wrote for L) it's in chapter 32:

''She approached her desk and glanced at it. It looked a bit chaotic so she cleaned it up. Her eyes landed on some sheets of paper. The sheets she held in her hand, were for the song she actually had wanted to start writing a few days back. But until now she didn't know what to write. She already had a melody in mind but there was still the text missing.

L had asked her if she had ever composed a song by herself, so that gave her the idea to start writing lyrics and to think of a melody. Although that sounded easier than it actually was.

I'll think about it later, there's enough time to finish it anyway. ''

so yeah the last scene is just to wrap it up ^^

Actually I even have the song but I find it didn't fit in the story, so if your interested here it it is:

http://s1.directupload.net/images/120530/pvdxu8le.jpg

Eventually, I can just say THANK YOU SO~ MUCH to all my lovely subscribers who didn't unsubscribe although I know I kinda at writing, all the comments (I hope the ones who shipped L and Sora are not too disappointed T_T) and also to all the silent readers. ♥

I hope you enjoyed reading and the ones who feel like reading more of my storys, I already work on a new one. It's up soon so stay tuned ^^