One of the worst things I have done for the day is that. . .

I didn’t chase her out when she ran away.

I had the balls to say those words and let her hear them but didn’t have the balls to explain myself.

I had to wait for the day to be over.

I was even surprised I still saw her when I arrived home from work.

I gently place my bag on the couch before walking to her direction, in the kitchen. “Y-yah.” I hesitantly call as I stare at her back figure. She was cooking dinner. “Uhm. . . I finished going to all four locations with Kyungsoo pretty early. He’s actually wondering where you went but I just told him you weren’t feeling well. I got. . . back to Justly Yours and Cheongjin said you didn’t go back there so I. . . drove home as soon as possible.” I speak but I didn’t get anything back. “Yah, talk to me.” I call out and lean on the wall beside the fridge. I groan and decide to walk closer to her. “Yah.” I grab her by the arm but she surprisingly yanked me away. “Don’t be like this. FINE. You heard it. . . S-so what??” I grunt and finally, I saw a different expression from her.

“So what?”

Her voice was meek.

“Yes. It doesn’t matter. I just—“

“It doesn’t matter? WOW. It doesn’t matter to you? You have me in your house, see me every single day, talk to me and work with me. How does that not matter to you? This person in front of you right now has made your life a living hell. How does that NOT matter?” She cuts off with her trembling yet angry tone. I knew her question was sarcastic. “I. . . I just—forget about it.” I muffle in defeat. She completely faces me this time after turning the stove off. “I have told you many times before. . . I ate my dignity out for our child. But if it’s really hard for you. . . to be with me each and every day of your lonely life, fine. As soon as I give birth, you’re free again. You’ll never have to deal with us. Just. . .” She hisses a sob but kept herself cool. “Just let me give birth to a healthy child, t-that’s all I ask of you.” She finishes her sentence with tears starting to trickle down her cheeks.

Then she walks out of the kitchen.

“And also. . .” I hear her voice one more time making me turn my head. Her back was still facing me. “What you said today. . . is a clear indication that you’re rejecting my confession. So forget about that, cause I will.” She lastly says before walking straight to her room. My back meets the counter top as I hold onto the edge of it. My head drops down as I close my eyes tightly. “What did I just do. . .” I muffle to myself while mentally murdering myself.

Out of frustration, I followed her and start knocking as soon as I reached her door.

“Yah, you didn’t even let me explain myself first. Kim Jiwon, talk to me.” I call out while bumping my forehead on the door a few times. I look away and try to find the right words to say. “I was just. . . I. . . I called Jisoo because I was troubled. N-not because of you but—well, it’s technically because of you but what I mea—“GO AWAY!” I hear her shout from inside making me flinch. “Let me finish, yah!” I shout back. I slam my hand on the door once. I take a deep breath before talking again. “Okay, look. . . you know my life story. I mean, for the most part. Jiwon, you’re not stupid so I know you’d understand. Yes, I did say that everything hasn’t been easy since you came and that’s because. . . I’ve always like—I mean, all my life I pushed people away. Okay? Do you underst—“ I couldn’t finish my sentence when the door opened. Our eyes meet and I see her tear-stained face.

It ing to see her pained expression.

“Jisoo was the only one who knew everything about me before you came. She knows my plans and how I want my life to happen. She knows. . . that I never wanted to. . . feel whatever it is that you’re making me feel.” I give in and finally say what I truly wanted to say. “A-and that is?” She asks with a shaky voice. A hitch of air came out of my system as I look away. I fan myself for a little while before turning to her again. “This is weird s-so. . . I just wanted to finish this off b-by saying that. . . that you know. . . that I’m not rejecting you nor am I rejecting Hansol into my life. Okay bye good night see ya.” I say in one go before running into my room real damn fast.

That’s so ing weird to say.

I locked the door behind me and lean on it for a while.

“I’m sure she got it already,