Tuesday was difficult, I had to quietly pack all the things away in my room without looking luscious. I decided to include in my letter to Jin, that when I got home I’d send him the money to send me my things that I couldn’t possibly take with me in one trip.

            By the time Jin came home, which was around 9:30, I had only three suitcases full of clothes, shoes and everything else I’d need once back home. I was quiet during dinner, but that was nothing new. Going to bed last night was the most difficult. I was dreading the day I had to leave but wishing it would come sooner.

            On Wednesday morning I woke up made breakfast and saw everyone off for the last time. The moment the front door shut, my tears were falling. I desperately wanted to hold on to one of them. Call out to one of them, tell them how painful it was going to be, how painful it has been. But I didn’t, to tell them how they hurt me would only hurt them. Unknowingly causing mental pain just being living your life in the place you were meant to be confusing and could end up making them challenge their place. Once all orphans, with a twisted fate of becoming princes; in the end it would be me who got too attached and should have learned my place has been set in stone. I have a family in America; a mother a father and a brother, and everything they have is here in Korea.

            I found myself thinking in circles.

            I called for a cap and cleaned up the remains of my room, turning it back into the guess room it originally was. Two hours had past and the room was finished. I called a cap and brought all my bags to the front door. Two large suit cases, a medium duffle back and a back pack.

            20 minutes later, I got a message saying my cap was outside. I was in the kitchen looking at my letters to the boys.

            “This is it.” I said to myself. I looked around the kitchen one last time, wiping away my tears. “I’m Sorry.” I placed my hand on the letter that rested on the counter. Then turned away and header to the front door.

            I put my backpack on, swung the duffle bag over my shoulder an-.

            “Sam?” My heart felt like it had shattered to pieces. I turned to see him standing on the stairs, face as clueless as I was about him being home.

            “H-Ho Seok.” I my lip in and tasted the tears that ran down my face. He looked at me as if I was wielding a knife at him. He came the rest of the way down the stairs and I placed my hand on the doorknob, while I pulled the handle up on one of the suitcases. I looked away from him.

            “Sam, what? What is?”

            “Please!” I yelled out. “Don’t come any closer, your making this more difficult than ever.” I couldn’t even look at him. He chuckled slightly.

            “No.” he shook his head. Then he began to laugh. “No. No, no, no, no!” The last was a scream. I stood strong though clearly hurting. I wanted to grab him and tell him I’d stay but it wouldn’t be right.

            “I’m Sorry.” I reached for the door, but his fist slammed it shut again. He turned me around and pushed me again the door. His eyes were shaking and the tears rolled down his checks to his teeth. His teeth tightly clenched together.

            “Do you really think I’d just let you leave?!”

            “I can’t stay here anymore.” I answered low to his yelling. His face looked dumbfounded. “Being here, alone, is a living hell!”

            “You’re not alone, Sam.” His voice sounded like it was breaking.

            “Every day, from 8 am to 9 pm, I’ve been alone! All of you have your place, I don’t. Well not here.” It was quiet. “I’m going home to my place.” I spoke softly again.

            Ho Seok, back away, I could see the words behind his eyes shuffling together to find what he wanted to say. His face looked pained.

            “Sam, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, but I can’t let you walk out of here, not like this. I never wanted to love someone as much as I have been pained to love you. Every day since my father told me I wasn’t good enough, I’ve only worked harder to show him that I could take care of you; that I could grow up. That I was worthy. I hoped you see me, see me and be proud.

            “It’s foolish for me to say this now that I’ve been faced with losing you. But from the moment I saw you, the first time, outside the coffee shop, I thought about you in every way. Less mature ways then others but I did. I thought you were someone I’d want to make mine, but I was blinded by my desire for your body. I was blinded by my younger brother, because he was doing better; my childish ways got the better of me.

            “Me being so childish and trying to be the first to take you pushed you away and me being more of a man, trying to handle my own, pushed you away even more. But please, if I could get one more chance, I’ll take care of the both of us.

            “I’ll make sure you know that I love you, all of you, from head to toe. I’m giving you my heart, as long as you don’t leave me.”

            “Ho Seok, I have to go. Or I’m never going to be able to leave. I’m sorry I didn’t understand, and that I didn’t see what you were doing. I wish this could be different. I’m sorry I can’t fix everything before I leave.” His face looked defeated, as if my final words to him broke him internally. He looked away from her, nodding his head and wiping his face and sniffling.

            “Okay.” He took a deep breath, “I understand.” He turned his back to her and starting heading up the stairs slowly. Is body looking exhausted.

                                                 LATER AT THE AIRPORT

            The woman called me up to the desk. I know it was foolish of me to wait to buy my ticket but I didn’t know if I would have the guts to hide a ticket for as long as I had been hiding my true feelings.

            “One ticket to America, as soon as possible.” I handed over my information and the black credit card and she didn’t question anything. It took about 20 minutes, and when she handed everything back to me I made a final request. “Can you this into pieces?”

            “Are you sure?” she looked shocked. I nodded and watched as she cut the black matte card with gold print into tiny pieces. I felt relief.

            I checked my bags in and bored the plane all within a two-hour period. I was in a middle class seat by the window. The plane was pretty empty but there about a month until the holiday season starts up again. The two seats next to me were empty, so I plugged my headphones in and closed my eyes.

            I could feel my mind drifting away, crying was something that killed my energy. How long will it be until the plane takes off? I wonder if mom will cry when she sees me again. I felt movement next to me and then my earphone got snatched out my ear. My eyes shot open and then I was full of emotion again.

            “Don’t look at me like that, you’ll make me think I’m the best thing in the world.” His smile caused my tears to fall and my eye brows to arch. He cupped my face carefully. “Come one Sam, don’t cry anymore.”

            “Ho Seok, you can’t leave your family.”

            “I didn’t leave my family, Sam.”

            “Are… There not here too? Are they?” My heart began to race. I didn’t want this to turn into a vacation to them.

            “No, Sam.” He chuckled, “I left because I plan on making you family.” He entangled our fingers together. “This is going to be rough. Meeting my in-laws. Yikes!” I sniffled as the tears fell.

            “In laws?” I questioned. Then Ho Seok brought out a little black box from his jacket pocket. It was familiar, and when he opened it she remembered what it was. The ring he had when he, and his brothers, purposed to her at the table.

            “This ring is for you, and was only ever meant for you. I can’t even imagine purposing to anyone else.” He shook his head. “So what do you say?”

            “I say, you’ve waited long enough to hear a ‘Yes’.” Ho Seok’s face dropped.

            “Oh God.” His eyes widened. “You said yes?” I nodded and stuck my left hand out. “Oh my God, you said yes!” He quickly took the ring out the box and slid it on my finger. My heart was pounding and I felt weak.

            Once more he cupped my face and pulled me in for a kiss. The first kiss as his Woman, as Ho Seok’s woman.

Hey, The_Fox here

Tell me what you think? Good Bad Heartbreaking Heartwarming

And who do you think is going to be next?