Tuesday 31^st October

Kyungsoo’s P.O.V:

“He hasn’t contacted you all day?” Baekhyun asks me as he sets out a bowl of popcorn onto his and Chanyeol’s wooden coffee table that sits in the middle of is room. The room is a lot messier than mine and Jongin’s but I’m not complaining. There’s actually looks like someone lives in it whereas mine and Jongin’s is kept so tidy that it looks like it has never been used.

“Nope. Not a single phone call or message, all he left me was a post-it note this morning telling me that he had to go early and that I shouldn’t worry.” I tell the eyeliner obsessed male, a soft sigh following my words.

Today is Halloween, a day that I am not too fond of. Due to this Jongin had promised that we would stay in tonight and watch some movies together, just cuddle the night away. But he cancelled last minute, saying he had to go and do dance practise with Taemin.
Well actually he didn’t say that, he left me a post-it note which was stuck to our mirror. I’ve tried contacting him multiple times throughout the day but he hasn’t responded to anything. He’s been doing this a lot lately, just picking up and leaving me for the day or half a day if I’m lucky. I understand that he needs time to practise, his studies are important after all. But I’m important too, right?
 

“Damn, ]well I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about though. Does he know that it bothers you this much?” The older male says as he sits down on the couch next to me. Baekhyun cancelled his plans to go to a Halloween party with Chanyeol to try and comfort me. Chanyeol wasn’t too happy about this, but I think he let it slide when he saw the state I was in. I’d be lying if I said I haven’t cried at least once today.

I shake my head in response to Baekhyun’s question, taking a hand full of the popcorn and plopping a few into my mouth before giving him a verbal answer, “I haven’t. He seems happy enough and if he’s happy that should be enough for me, right?”
I pick up the TV remote after I finish speaking, pressing the on button and waiting for the flat-screen to start up and DVD to play.

“Kyungsoo, if his happiness causes you to be this sad then it isn’t worth it. I’m sure he would stop and be more considerate of what you wanted if you just talked to him. When did this start, anyway?” Baekhyun asks yet another question, due to this I sense that this conversation won’t be over before the film starts, therefore I pause it before the title screen has time to finish.

“I’m being stupid, I’ll cheer up eventually and then we shall both be happy without actually having to confront the fact that I have been this sad over such a stupid situation. He doesn’t need to know that I have been this sad, he would beat himself up for that and that is something that I do not want him to do. As for when it started, it must have been about a week and a half ago, maybe less. Is that even important?” This is something that I don’t really want to talk about, but know I should. In my eyes I am being stupid and I need to just get over this and move on with life, it’s not like I don’t see him anyway. And I’m sure I’ll see him more now that we’re off for a week. We have no classes for the whole of this week, surely he would want to do something together, right?
He can’t avoid me forever.

“It’s not stupid, Soo. It’s just human, your feelings and all of that sentimental feely stuff. You know that you would be happier if you just came out and told him what you were thinking though, right? Things will stay this way forever if you don’t just come out and tell him. And yes it’s important, that means you’ve been sad for a week already, we don’t need that time to get longer. Also I wanted to see if I could remember anything happening or opening within the last two weeks that Jongin could be doing and or going to, but I don’t think anything major has been going on, at least nothing that would grab Jongin’s attention.”

I nod a long to what Baekhyun says, trying to take all of it in. I appreciate his advice and the time he has given up to spend with me, I really do. But when all I want to do is see Jongin and be held in his arms, the comfort of a friend just isn’t enough.
My heart aches.

“Well it feels stupid.” As I say this I get up and head over to the lights, flicking them off before coming back over to the seat where I was sat just seconds ago, “I’ll tell him eventually okay? I promise I’ll be alright and that I am okay even now. Now let’s watch the movie.” I say, forcing my best most realistic smile as I do. Baekhyun either believes me or senses that I really want the topic to end, either way he stays quiet and focuses on the TV screen as I press play once again.

I hate this, I hate the fact that he seems to be ignoring me. Why would someone that loves me what to ignore me like this? It just makes no sense.
Have I done something wrong?
Did I say something to make him hate me?

I say that I’m happy to Baekhyun, I try to give myself false hope as I sit here mindlessly staring at the animated characters that dart across the screen, but nothing can distract me from the tears that start tracking down my face.

---------------------------------

Monday 1^st November

“I’m leaving Kyungsoo.” Jongin deadpans as he speaks, moving to start collecting his belongs out of the closet. Just moments ago he was sat peacefully doing his work at his desk, and now he’s darting around the room trying to get out as fast as he possibly can.
 

“W-what do you mean?!” My voice starts to waver as the panic sets in. The fear of him leaving me alone. The fear of the promise that he is about to break.
I look up from where I sit on my bed, the panic clear in my normally peacefully happy eyes.

“You heard me, I’m leaving.” He says, not even looking at me as he does so. He scoops all of his shirts and jeans off of the hangers, some of those hangers snapping in the process due to them only being made of plastic, and piles them into his already open suitcase.

“Wh-why? What about me?” I timidly ask, the first few tears starting to build up. I should have seen this coming, right from the start, I should have known that he was too good for me. I should have known that he would cotton on to that fact eventually, find someone better and then pack up and leave me, trampling over the broken shards of my heart in the process.

Jongin’s laughter is the first thing that reaches my ears, as he finally turns around to look at me. He stares down at me as if I’m some sort of worthless animal, not even worth his time of day.
“Don’t make me laugh, Kyungsoo. You seriously thought I’d stick around with someone like you for long? You were just my play thing right from the very beginning. It’s something that everyone knew.” He turns his back to me again, closing his suitcase after he has placed his phone charger into it.

“B-But all of the th-things you did for me. A-all that y-you said...th-the ring-“

“It was all fake, Kyungsoo! All of it! I thought I would have a little fun with this boy online, see how far I could lead him on. Then when I fell and needed a place to stay guess who was the perfect match for me? That’s right, you. I’ve been using you all along, Kyungsoo you were just too naive to see it.” He finishes with a roll of his eyes, picking up his suitcase from the bed and starting to head to the door.

No.
It can’t end like this.

I jump off of my bed and rush forward, grabbing Jongin’s arm and preventing him from leaving. He does nothing to try and shake me from my arm, instead he just stands there looking down on me once again. I bow my head not even able to look at him, fresh tears trickling down my cheeks and hitting the floor boards.

“D-Don’t leave me. Yo-you promised you wouldn’t.” My voice comes out as more of a whisper as I cling to him for dear life. I need him, it can’t end like this.
Jongin tugs his arm away from me, pulling me forward and sending me into the wall in the process. My head thumps against it, sending pain circling around my head, but it’s nothing compared to the pain of my heart.

“Goodbye Kyungsoo.” The final opening and closing of the door tells me that he’s gone, leaving me to slide down to the floor, crying my eyes out.

“No...N-no. Jongin..please!”
“Please!”
“Jongin!!”
 

“Kyungsoo, wake up.”
“WAKE UP!” Suddenly a different voice enters my head, one that is not mine. I start shaking, only it isn’t due to my actions. Finally my eyes fly open, revealing a totally different scene to the one I was previously in. My whole body suddenly flushes with heat, the only thing that isn’t different is the tear that stream down my cheeks.
I now lay in bed, only it isn’t mine, both Chanyeol and Baekhyun stand to the side of me, looking down at me with worried eyes.

“Kyungsoo are you okay? You were shouting a lot in your sleep. You were really panicking just now.” Baekhyun says, now coming down to kneel by the side of the bed. It takes a tug on Chanyeol’s hand for him to do the same, his hair is still prayed with a light coating of green, probably from the party last night.

“I..I think so.” I mumble, actually feeling a bit breathless. Was it all a dream? It felt too real to just be a dream.

“What were you dreaming about, Soo?” Chanyeol asks, the worry still clear in his eyes. Was I thrashing around and crying out that much?
Was I really that bad?

“Jongin left.” Is all I say, wanting to do nothing more than just curl up and leave the world right now. I look up just slightly, spotting the clock that sits on the coffee table:
4:32AM.
I woke them up?

Both of the males sigh, sharing worried glances with each other as they turn back to me. Chanyeol stands up, walking over and disappearing into the bathroom, Baekhyun stays by my side, moving to sit up on the side of what I assume is his bed, I know for sure that it isn’t mine.

“That will never happen, Kyungsoo. He loves you too much to just leave, plus he made a promise to you, remember?” Baekhyun tries to reassure me, gesturing to the chain that’s around my neck as he does so. I never take it off now, I’m too afraid. If I were to lose it I would lose a piece of me.
Chanyeol comes back, carrying two damp flannels. He drapes the one across my forehead whilst passing the other to Baekhyun who starts dabbing under my eyes, trying to get rid of the obvious tear marks. Chanyeol then whispers something to Baekhyun, lightly kissing him on his temple before moving over to the other bed, flopping down to lay on it. My guess is that he hasn’t been home for that long and is probably more than slightly tipsy.

“Baekhyun.” I speak up again after a few moments have passed, giving the other male time to place the flannel onto the coffee table before we speak.

“Yes, Soo?”

“Why am I still here.” I question, finally moving into a sitting position. We now have to whisper as to not wake up the sleeping giant; however this probably isn’t necessary as he is a very deep sleeper, not even an earthquake could wake him. It was probably Baekhyun who woke him up just now and not me, Baekhyun is the only person he will wake up for after all.

“You fell asleep during the movie, you were out like a light before the half way stage. I went round to your room to see if Jongin was there but he wasn’t, I don’ think he has come home.” My heart stops at that last part and I can immediately feel the panic rising throughout my system.

“What do you mean he hasn’t come home? Where is he? We need to find him, has he contacted you?!” I say in one big rushed sentence, the odd words jumbling together. I’m already moving to get off of the bed, too focused on finding Jongin to even let myself think straight.

“Stop, Soo. Breath and don’t panic.” Baekhyun sticks his arm out in front of me, stopping me from moving off of the bed. I do what he says, trying to take deep breaths and stay as calm as possible. He’s fine, Jongin is a grown man he can look after himself.
But why wouldn’t he at least text to say that he wouldn’t be home.

“He’s left me, hasn’t he?”

“No Kyungsoo. You can’t think like that, as I said before he made a promise to you. One that he is not going to break and that is something that you need to remember.”
 

“Baekhyun, promises are made to be broken.”