-​"WE FALL IN LOVE WITH PEOPLE WE CAN'T HAVE" *CRI*

 

----------------     The rain causes my heart to wince in pain. The pounding in my head won't stop. It hurts. Nini left me and Jimin alone. He hasn't woke up yet. What's his secret anyway? I squint my eyes as my mind feels foggy. Just who are you actually, Jimin? I still sit on the egde of the bed. Crossing my arms, looking at that window where the blinds were closed. But, the rain won't stop. It just matches with my heartbeat as it falls. This feeling of tranquility hits me as I slowly close my eyes. All there was left was darkness.     Darkness like always. Everybody had some type of dark aura. Each and every one of them didn't had a light in their eyes. Their fake smiles and laughs. They seemed to be happy. Happiness is not something that last forever. But, when I saw Jimin, his eyes glisten with light. Such innocence. I wished I had that. Similar to Taehyung, recklessly living and being defiant. I wished I had that. Honest and precise like Nini and Namjoon. I wished I had that. My friends were the light that I needed when everyone else wasn't around. My mother hasn't even called me ever. She only cared about me being successful in life. My father didn't care at all. Even if they're smiling at me, I know that they hate me in some type of way. They told me I'm always grumpy and rude, maybe if they made me feel happy, I wouldn't feel this way.    

If only I saw the good in people. Sometimes I want to see the people who abandoned me and say thanks for ruining me and knowing how much you don't care and never did even if I believed in your lies. Lies. Every one of those from my past would isolate me, torment me with such words, and everyday I felt I had no light to guide me out from the darkness. I kept walking into the darkness. Drowning within it. The more feelings I hid, the more the darkness consume me. So I'm just mindlessly living with insecurities and defiance. Sometimes, I wonder what will happen only I pulled that trigger to my head. I always thought I'd smile in my last breath.

  I see a broken mirror, such a weird nightmare. I see myself with cuts and bruises. I see a boy who's smiling without feelings. The darkness in his eyes. I see myself breaking apart along with the mirror. The mirror breaks into shards falling. I pick up one shard, but it turns into a butterfly. Should I follow it? I follow the blue bright butterfly, only to see grasslands and a little boy. That little boy was me, smiling so innocently. His small hands grab my big ones as he guides me to a another person. He turns around. Jimin. Jimin was wearing a white button-up with black pants. His eyes squint as he grins at me.     "Wake up, Kookie," He pushes me off into the darkness. My eyes widen in horror. He then turns to leave. I shout with all my might for him to not leave me in the darkness. Not like everyone else. The darkness consumes me, as from faraway I see myself with a gun point to my head. The reflection smiles at me, shooting itself or more likely me. With such a empty smile and dark eyes.   -----------  

I abruptly wake up, breathing hardly. My body sleeping Jimin's hospital bed. Where is Jimin?! I get up, slipping a bit on the floor. I rush outside the hallways. No, Jimin. Don't leave me. I breath heavily as I turn to the corner, bumping into someone. We both land our butts on the floor. I groan in pain as I rub my sides. I look at the person. It was Jimin. My cheeks immediately flares.

 

"J-jimin!?" I wrap my arms around him. Softly rubbing his head. My tears falling on his shoulder. I sniffle a bit. He then hugs me back, the warmth makes me shiver. Jimin awkwardly laughs at my sudden action. I didn't want to let him go. Never. The only warmth I need is him. Only him. Even if I knew he might leave, I just can't. I need him to get me out of the dark. Jimin lets go first, wiping my tears. His face is oddly close to mines.

  "Hmph. You are like two years younger than me," he pulls me by the waist with a sneaky smirk. His face is so close to mine that I'm flustered. Usually, I and push him away from me. But, this is oddly making me feel intruige. I close my eyes in fear. My lips quivering like a little girl. He then shifts closer, his breath on my face. He softly places his lips on my cheeks. Kissing the tears away. He caresses my face. He's acting his age now. I can't believe this shorty. Making me blush like there's no tomorrow. I slightly open my eyes, his face centimeters away from mines. He then lean his head slightly, going closer to me. I close my eyes again, his lips softly on mines. My heart poundss loudly. I wonder if he hears my heart. He then deepens the kiss. I gasp a bit, my eyes shoot open.     "I am interrupting your makeout session?" We both look up to see Nini and Taehyung with bags in their hands. Nini pretends to gag as Taehyung closes his eyes with tint cheeks. Jimin immediatly gets up, dusting himself as he looks down at me who was a blushing mess. I cover my face in embarassment. They all laugh at me. Jimin grabs my wrist and pulls me up to stand. I still hide away with my hands burying my head. Jimin ruffles my hair playfully.     "You know, that's the first I seen you two kiss," Taehyung mutters, with his cheeks still slightly pink. Nini burst out into laughter again, gasping for air afterwards while hitting Taehyung's arm. She keeps laughing then points at me, shouting out words that were a bit gibberish because she keeps laughing so much.  

"You---," She snorts. "Oh my god and your face----" Laughs again. Poor Taehyung. She's very violent when she even laughs, great. Why I am so so sacastic sometimes? I roll my eyes as Jimin starts to snort at her laughter. He then looks at me, winking. I avoid his eyes by looking in the opposite directi